


The Arrangement

by SapphireSmoke



Series: Sundae Morning [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIII Series
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Asphyxiation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fantasizing, Female Ejaculation, Forced Orgasm, Foursome - F/F/F/F, Humor, Light Bondage, Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Piercings, Polyamory, Romance, Shower Sex, Sibling Incest, Spanking, Strap-Ons, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:12:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 93,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSmoke/pseuds/SapphireSmoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Afraid that someone might find out about their unorthodox relationship, Lightning and Serah enter into an arrangement with Fang and Vanille in order to hide it from the rest of the world. But what happens when the lines that are clearly drawn between them suddenly start to blur?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** [BellaRei713](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/641948/BellaRei713)  
>  **Timeline:** Post _Lightning Returns_  
>  **Sequel To:** “[The Shadow Realms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1336606),” which I heavily recommend you read before starting this fic.  
>  **A/N:** This idea for this fic was born over a year ago after I finished “The Shadow Realms”, as I realized I presented myself with the perfect opening for a foursome, lol. And apparently I couldn’t let that idea go, so I’ve decided to finally pursue it. This fic isn’t a PWP though; in fact I’ve already written close to 50k of it thus far and am still going. Fair warning though that of the pairings listed, this fic is very Farroncest and Fangrai heavy because it’s all told from Lightning’s POV. And yes, eventually all four of them will get into bed together; enjoy!

  


**CHAPTER I**  


Sounds of pleasure floated through the heavy wooden door, its thickness unable to mask what the inhabitants of the room were partaking in behind it. Lightning scowled from the couch, bringing the bottle of cheap vodka to her lips as she took a large swig, wishing that she was far more inebriated than she was, as perhaps then she wouldn’t be forced to listen to her own pessimistic thoughts. They seemed to be a constant in her life now though; every doubt and fear that Lightning had about her heart’s choice were now looming over her head like a storm cloud, and it absolutely destroyed her that she was starting to feel the light drizzle of the rain.

A repetitive banging sound, from what was no doubt her roommates’ damn headboard slamming against the wall, began to form a throbbing headache in the back of Lightning’s skull; and so in a wave of annoyance, the soldier grabbed one of her boots from off the floor before whipping it in the direction of the door. It hit the wood with a loud bang.

The noises stopped.

But just as Lightning was going to lie back and wallow in her misery, the bedroom door was whipped open by a woman who was stark nude and irritated like hell at the interruption. “Problem?” Fang asked, her voice challenging as she raised an eyebrow in her friend’s direction.

Lightning hadn’t really expected to be confronted with a full frontal image of Fang, so whatever the hell she was planning to say in her defense got caught in the back of her throat. She just stared at her, her eyes taking in every inch of the huntress’ form while her inebriated brain did absolutely nothing to stop it, despite already knowing how stupid it was to give Fang such blatant ammo against her.

Fang’s eyebrow arched even higher at Lightning’s lack of ability to speak. “That it then?” she asked, although the question was rhetorical as she grabbed the side of the door, intent on closing it again. “Good, glad I could get your jollies off.”

“Fang…”

Before Fang could close the door, Vanille came out from behind her, wrapped in a sheet that she clutched to her chest. She shot a sympathetic look at Lightning, but before she could say anything more, it was the soldier who finally found her words.

“You really don’t have any shame, do you?”

“You’re the one throwin’ shoes at my door,” Fang shot back, holding out her hands like ‘what else did you expect?’ “So here I am. Satisfied your curiosity yet?”

“Fang, stop it,” Vanille reprimanded, grasping onto her lover’s arm to try to stop the confrontational attitude that was rolling off both of the older women in waves. “She’s sad—”

“I’m _fine,_ ” Lightning insisted, although it probably came off a bit too defensively to sound even remotely like the truth. Keeping her gaze anywhere _but_ on the naked woman in front of her, Lightning pushed the hair back from her face as she grabbed the bottle off the table. Fang exhaled a frustrated breath.

“Alright, this is over.”

The huntress stalked over to her, her strides strong and purposeful before she violently grabbed the bottle out of her friend’s hand, slamming it onto the coffee table hard enough to cause some of the contents to splash upwards and onto the surface below. “What the hell do you think you’re—” Lightning tried to protest furiously, but Fang – in all her distractingly nude glory – just sat heavily on the couch, propping one of her legs up on the surface in front of her, and the rest of Lightning’s words died on her tongue. The woman was _entirely_ too close, given her current state of undress.

“We’re going to talk,” Fang told her, her tone leaving no room for argument.

“Great, I’m _ecstatic,_ ” Lighting shot back sarcastically, making careful effort to stare at Fang’s face because she was now sitting in a way that left very little to the imagination. “But do you maybe want to put on some clothes first?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” Fang repeated, smirking as she crossed her arms over her chest, accenting the dip in her cleavage that really didn’t need any more things drawing attention to it. “It’s funny; watchin’ you get all flustered over it.”

Lightning’s ears turned pink as she shot the woman an indignant glare, but thankfully Vanille pulled one of the blankets off the back of an armchair and threw it at her girlfriend. “Fang,” she chided, suddenly sounding like she was mothering the other woman; which was strange considering she was the younger of the two. “You’re making her uncomfortable. We’re supposed to be helping, remember? That’s what friends do.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help,” Lightning responded flatly, knowing full-well how childish that sounded and yet, in her current state of inebriation, found she didn’t much care. She just wanted them to leave her alone; she didn’t exactly wallow in her misery well when others were around, after all. She had too much pride for that.

Or so she would’ve liked to believe.

Fang didn’t even bother hiding her eye roll at that, but thankfully did what Vanille told her and pulled the blanket around her torso. “Yeah?” she challenged, shooting a disbelieving look towards her friend. “Because I’m pretty sure you’ve got it written across your damned forehead right now. I mean hell, what are you goin’ on now; two weeks of this crap?”

Nearly a month actually, but Lightning kept her mouth shut. Admitting that would only make her look worse. Still, it was good to know that she was at least able to hide it for a little while, as small of a favor as that was to her.

“And you’re not even a fun drunk,” Fang added, like that was an important part of this situation right now. “Not _once_ have me and Vanille came home to find you dancing naked on the kitchen counters. So really, at this point you’re just wastin’ liquor.”

Lightning shot her a look, thoroughly unamused. “Excuse me for having some restraint.”

“Restraint?” Fang repeated, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “You call this _restraint?_ Light, you’re a mess; and not in the ‘hot’ way either.” Lightning rolled her eyes at that, as being attractive right now was really the least of her concerns, but Fang wasn’t finished. Leaning her elbows on her knees, she looked at her friend and continued, “Look, I get that shit’s been rough for you lately; bein’ stripped of your humanity and then getting it back all at once would probably screw anyone up, but you seriously need to learn better coping mechanisms, because this is becoming ridiculous.”

Lightning scowled at her, her expression masking in disbelief. “You think I’m drinking because I can’t handle being _human?_ ”

Of course it had been hard for her; she would never deny that. Bhunivelze had completely ripped away everything that made her _her,_ and having the capability to feel emotions once again had been a difficult adjustment, especially at first. Everything she felt now seemed… _greater,_ almost uncontrollable, which Lightning despised because if there was one thing she liked to have in her life, it was control. Regardless, she had believed she was managing it; but maybe that was an idiotic thing to think, as being drunk on a Tuesday afternoon in an attempt to not deal with her plaguing emotions was not exactly conducive to having a handle on one’s own life.

Still, Bhunivelze had been defeated nearly six months ago, and so her newfound humanity wasn’t what drove Lightning to find some kind of temporary escape in the bottom of a bottle. Although perhaps if it was, all of this would all be a little bit easier.

“That’s not why you’re doing this?” Vanille asked, looking a little taken aback that the theory she and her girlfriend apparently shared was wrong. “Then… what’s happened? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just—it doesn’t matter, alright?” Lightning responded, frustration seeping into her tone. She didn’t want to talk about this right now; or ever, for that matter. That was why she drank; to suppress it, to pretend it wasn’t happening. And speaking about it to them… well, that would just defeat the purpose now, wouldn’t it?

Lightning released a lengthy huff as she ran her fingers through her hair, debating on just physically _running_ away from this current problem. Maybe it was cowardly, but these kinds of emotions were not something she was used to dealing with. They made her feel weak; disoriented and helpless, which only stood to aggravate her because that wasn’t the kind of person she was supposed to be. She had saved Cocoon, had been chosen as Etro’s champion, and then became the Savior of souls; so how was it that something as small as this was crippling her?

Perhaps because none of those other things would have even come to pass without what was currently destroying her. Her weakness and her strength… that’s what Serah was; what she would always be.

Lightning’s whole world revolved around her.

Grabbing the bottle off the table, Lightning decided she was content on just leaving this entire conversation behind her and barricading herself in her room. Making everyone else around her miserable certainly wasn’t helping matters anyway. “None of this even matters,” she repeated, needing them to realize that talking about it wouldn’t change anything. “But if my drinking bothers you that badly, then I’ll do it somewhere else.”

“Yeah, no; I don’t think so,” Fang responded, practically ripping the bottle from her friend’s hand and holding it out of her reach. “As fun as that sounds, I think we’re gonna pass on that train wreck for tonight, yeah?”

Lightning felt anger burning in the pit of her stomach as she stared at Fang, squaring her shoulders as she instinctively prepared herself for a fight. What gave her the _right?_ This wasn’t any of her business, and if she took it into her room, there really shouldn’t be an issue; whether she was sober or not, it didn’t effect _Fang’s_ life any. 

“You sure you want to do this?” she challenged, because being confrontational just seemed to come naturally; at least when she was inebriated, anyhow. 

“You askin’ if I want to go up against a drunken mess?” Fang countered, arching an eyebrow. “Yeah, I gotta say I like my odds on that one. You can’t even look at me without squinting right now; one swift blow to the temple and you won’t be able to tell your head from your arse.”

“Fang, don’t push her…” Vanille tried to warn, but Lightning was already far passed pushed. This was ridiculous; was it so difficult for them to just leave her alone? “Can’t you see that she’s upset?”

“Yeah, but what I’m not getting is _why,_ ” Fang responded, although didn’t take her eyes off of the woman across from her as she addressed her girlfriend. Her muscles were tensed, her entire body on the defensive in case Lightning chose that moment to strike. “What the hell is so bad that you have to become a miserable drunk just to try to deal with it? Because from where I’m sitting, this doesn’t look like it’s solving any of your problems.”

“And from where _I’m_ sitting, it doesn’t look like any of your business—”

“You’re my best mate, Light; of course it’s my fucking business!”

Lightning slammed her hand down on the coffee table as she suddenly stood to tower over Fang. It was brief though, as Fang rose to her height in a second, not one to back down from a challenge. Silence passed between them; a battle of wills as they looked one another dead in the eyes.

In the back of her mind, Lightning knew she was misplacing her anger, but she couldn’t help it; she just wanted to feel like she had some semblance of control over her own emotions again.

“You do realize that if you end up hittin’ me over this damn bottle, that it would basically make you the shittiest friend ever, yeah?” Fang warned her, being the one to finally break the tension in the room that seemed to envelop them whole. “So maybe you should ask yourself what kind of person you want to be right now.”

Lightning tensed her jaw, but her offensive stance noticeably faltered as her gaze flickered over to Vanille, who had stood as well, looking as though she was preparing herself to tear the two of them off of one another. It was a mess; it was ridiculous, not to mention _childish_ , and Lightning didn’t know how they ended up in this position, outside of realizing that it was entirely her fault that it had happened. 

What the hell was she doing with her life? This wasn’t… this wasn’t who she was supposed to _be._

But Lightning had too much pride to apologize for her actions, or rather didn’t want to feel the shame of admitting she had been wrong in challenging her over a freaking _liquor bottle_ , and so all she said in response was a flat, “I’m going to take a shower,” as she stepped away from the other woman. 

Because she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t be this person anymore. Everything had been different, when the only life her drinking was affecting was her own. To be honest, she hadn’t even thought Fang and Vanille had noticed; they had been too wrapped up in each other as of late, going on dates every weekend and being so nauseatingly romantic towards one another that it made Lightning want to punch a hole in the wall, as it had been so damn long since she had even seen Serah just _smile,_ let alone be able to express anything romantically inclined towards her. Everything was such a mess now, and it was all her own doing; because honestly, how _else_ was she going to feel when she was stuck watching others have everything she so desperately desired?

She should have just moved out when Serah did. It was nothing short of masochistic for her to stay here after what had happened.

For now though, she just needed to be alone. She also probably needed to sober up, as getting into a fight with Fang while drunk was, admittedly, one of the stupider decisions she had made as of late. If it had actually come to blows, Fang would have wiped the floor with her. 

Not that she would ever admit that out loud, of course. 

But as soon as Lightning disappeared from the living room and grabbed a towel from the hall closet, Vanille came out from around the corner. “Lightning?” she asked quietly, trying to get her attention.

A fresh wave of guilt hit Lightning as she turned around to face her. It was one thing to be a confrontational bitch to Fang, as the other woman could take as well as she could give it, but there was just something about _Vanille_ that made Lightning feel awful for doing all of this in front of her. An innocence of sorts, maybe; even though Lightning knew the girl was far from it. Maybe it was just that she reminded her of Serah. Regardless, in the very same way as her sister, Vanille was able to guilt her without saying a word.

Vanille looked concerned, but she tried to make it fall away as she allowed a small smile of reassurance to form across her face. And then suddenly those lips were on Lightning’s; just a brief press that wasn’t really anymore more than chaste, but it still startled the hell out of the other woman as she immediately tensed. Vanille didn’t seem to notice though, or either chose not to care as she bounced back on the balls of her feet.

“We love you, okay?” Vanille reminded her, not at all addressing what just happened, as though something like that was _normal._ Lightning couldn’t really process it herself though, to be fair. “And that’s why it’s sad for us to watch you do this to yourself. So whenever you’re ready to talk, we’ll be right there.” She pointed back towards the living room, an encouraging smile making its way across her face, obviously expecting the other woman to take her up on that offer at some point.

An emotion Lightning couldn’t even hope to name resonated deep in her chest, and she pursed her lips as she nodded her understanding. A part of her ached to tell them, to just have someone else understand why it felt like her entire world was falling apart, but she was afraid. She didn’t want them viewing her how she viewed herself. She felt like she had done everything wrong, and she hated that because she had worked so hard to finally get everything _right_ again.

And so Lightning turned without a word, retreating into the bathroom and away from the chance to finally vocalize what was wrong, because the simple fact of it was, she just wasn’t ready to. She had kept so much of herself and her life private for so long, that revealing anything at _all_ about herself was hard, let alone something like this.

In the end though, it didn’t matter whether or not she was ready, because Fang had the patience of a toddler.

“I’m in here!” Lightning exclaimed loudly once she heard the door to the bathroom burst open, the unexpected sound of it startling her enough to cause her to knick her knee while shaving. Cursing under her breath, the soldier ran it under the water to wash away the small amount of blood as her other hand firmly closed the small gap between the shower curtain and the wall, making extra certain that Fang wouldn’t be able to see her naked.

“Yeah, got that, thanks.”

Lightning released a small puff of air, annoyance crossing over her expression as she slammed the razor down on the side of the tub. “You can’t wait ten minutes?”

“In ten minutes you’ll be out of the shower.”

“Yes, Fang, _that’s_ the point.”

“Ah, but see, therein lies the problem, Sunshine,” Fang drawled, her tone light and airy for no other reason than to annoy the woman who’s privacy she was currently invading. Lightning was loathed to admit that it was working. “See, Vanille might believe that you’ll talk to us when you’re ready, but I know you better than that. You never talk about anything; at least not anything that matters. Well, unless you’re backed into a corner, anyway. You see what I’m getting at here?”

“Get. _Out,_ ” Lightning growled, not having the patience for this right now. She was still fairly drunk; this was really the last thing she wanted to do right now.

“Nah, don’t think I will,” Fang responded. Lightning could practically _hear_ the smirk on her face, and she was starting to regret ever coming into this bathroom in the first place. “Because what are you gonna do about it, really? We both know that you won’t get out of the shower so long as I’m in here; you’d be too embarrassed. So unless you want to stay in there for the rest of your young life, I suggest you start talking.”

Lightning closed her eyes and began counting backwards from ten, just trying to keep her temper under control. She despised that Fang was right about that; her towel was currently hanging on the door, and without it, Lightning wasn’t going to be opening that shower curtain any time soon. It wasn’t that she was self-conscious per se, but there were just some things that friends weren’t meant to see.

Not that Fang subscribed to the same ideal, as indicated earlier in the evening, but regardless. Lightning was a relatively modest person, and right now she was hating that, because it was doing nothing but biting her in the ass.

“Is this about Serah?”

Lightning felt her chest compress and her breath leave her at that question, and unfortunately that moment’s hesitation didn’t do her any favors, because when she lied with a flat, “No,” Fang didn’t believe her.

“So yes, then,” Fang deduced. Leaning against the sink, the woman crossed her arms and continued, “Figures. I mean, if there’s anything in the world that would fuck you up this much, it’d probably be that girl. Hazard of loving someone, I guess.”

Lightning bit the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check as she stepped back under the spray of the shower, letting the water cascade through her hair and down over her face as she futilely tried to ignore the current conversation. It didn’t help much though, as it neither drowned out Fang’s voice nor her own thoughts. Running her hands over her face, Lightning had to remind herself to breathe.

“So what the hell is going on with you two?” Fang asked, looking towards the woman on the other side of the curtain. When she received no answer however, Fang’s voice fell flat and she continued, “Is this just about her bein’ away at school? Cause I gotta tell ya, Light; there’s such a thing as being too attached to someone.”

“Of course it’s not—!” Lightning began to exclaim, offended that Fang would even think it was something as trivial as that, when she and Serah did nothing _but_ be separated over the past however many years. If there was anything in this world she could handle, it was that. But instead of telling Fang that, Lightning just allowed her words to fade away into a sound of clear frustration as her palm hit the wall. “I don’t want to talk about this with you.”

“Well then you’re free to come out of the shower and grab your towel, sweetheart.”

Lightning didn’t move; not that Fang expected her too. Her brow etched in annoyance as she wiped the wet hair from her forehead. “Don’t call me that,” she demanded instead. Lightning hated pet names, platonic or not, and Fang had an irritating habit of using a wide variety of them during the worst of moments; most likely on purpose.

“It’s affectionate.”

“It’s _patronizing._ ”

“And I’m impatient,” Fang retorted, having caught on to the change of subject. Her hand went to the lever on the toilet then, pushing it down as she finished, “So let’s get this over with, yeah?”

The temperature of the water suddenly went from hot to cold, and Lightning practically shrieked as she stumbled to get away from its spray. “ _Fang!_ ” she shouted furiously as she nearly tripped over her own two feet. She had to place a hand on the wall to steady herself, as she almost fell out of the damned shower in the process. Her teeth ground together as she shot the woman’s outline a glare through the fabric of the curtain. “I’m not in the mood for your childish crap right now!”

“Then maybe you should step up and be the adult in the conversation,” Fang retorted, arching a singular eyebrow. “You think I like having to push you this hard just to open up? It’s ridiculous, Light. I’m trying to _help,_ so why don’t you do both of us a favor and just tell me what the hell you and Serah are fighting about so maybe we can fix this and get your head back on straight, yeah?”

Fang approached the curtain then, and Lightning’s fingers wrapped around the fabric of it tightly as she held it to the wall, half-afraid that Fang had gotten to the point where she’d just rip it open just to address her properly. But she didn’t; the huntress just stood outside of it as she leaned against the wall, continuing with, “Because I hate to break it to ya, but I think this really is about you not being able to handle being human again. I mean it’s a _fight,_ Lightning; how bad could it be? It’s not like she broke up with you or anything, so right now this little brooding act of yours seems a tad over dramatic.” A short pause followed. “No judgment, of course.”

“Right,” Lightning responded disbelievingly, but her voice cracked as an overwhelming feeling of sadness began to brew in the pit of her stomach from Fang’s words. But she tried to push it down, tried to ignore it, because if she didn’t, she would reveal far more than she wanted to. “Because that didn’t sound judgmental at all.”

The words sounded caught in her throat however, her emotions getting the best of her despite how hard Lightning tried to fight against them. The soldier closed her eyes then, trying to get herself under control before Fang noticed the change, but in the end it was futile, because Fang truly was her closest friend, and she just _knew._

“Light?” she asked softly, her voice suddenly losing all of its impatience and frustration as Fang realized that maybe there was more to this than she originally believed. “It… it _is_ just a fight, yeah?”

“Just go,” Lightning pleaded, her throat feeling tight as tears burned the back of her eyes. She felt her resolve cracking, probably just from the desperation for this conversation to be over, but she still didn’t want it to come about because she had told her. She didn’t want to tell Fang. She didn’t want to tell anyone. She just wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. “ _Please._ ”

Lightning Farron didn’t beg, and yet the word fell from her lips in a last ditch effort for this to end the way she wanted it to. But it didn’t, because Fang could hear the sheer amount of raw _sadness_ in her tone, and at the end of the day, she was too good a person to just walk away from something like that.

“Hey, let’s… let’s just get you outta there, okay?” Fang tried instead, moving to grab the towel off the back of the door. “This is a shit place to have this conversation.”

Lightning tried to protest, but when Fang pulled back the shower curtain to help her out, the soldier’s words got caught in the back of her throat as she just froze. If she didn’t feel so completely shattered inside, Lightning was sure she would have at least rushed to cover herself before screaming at Fang for invading her privacy like that. But she didn’t do any of that; she just stood there, naked and dripping as her friend looked into her bloodshot eyes, and yet instead of Fang gawking at her, the woman barely held any notice to her current state outside of how upset she clearly was. 

After leaning down to shut off the water, Fang handed her the towel, and Lightning wrapped it around herself without a word. Suddenly it felt like all the fight had left her, and all she felt now was tired. Perhaps that was the price though, of holding everything inside of herself for so long; sooner or later, it was bound to weigh her down until she could barely hold herself up any longer.

And then suddenly she was wrapped in Fang’s strong arms, the woman holding Lightning to her chest as she tried to comfort her. “Stop,” Lightning tried, not really comfortable with that level of affection, and yet the demand sounded small and broken even to her own ears, and she made no effort to untangle herself from the other woman. Maybe some small part of her just wanted somewhere comforting to block out the world, but she would be damned if she ever admitted to Fang that she trusted her enough to be that person. It made her sound weak and accommodating.

“Relax. You’ll survive one hug.”

Lightning muttered something underneath her breath, but it held no bite to it. She couldn’t really find it in herself to despise this while Fang’s fingers were weaving gently through her hair, the movement of it soothing despite all of Lightning’s walls that had been built specifically to keep this kind of closeness with anyone at bay. Things had changed though; they had all been through so much together, and after their time together in the Shadow Realms, Fang had become the closest person to Lightning other than her own sister. 

So Lightning exhaled a small breath of defeat and allowed her cheek to rest gently against the fabric of Fang’s sari while she stared blankly at their reflection in the half-fogged up mirror on the other side of the bathroom. She didn’t have the strength to run away from what was happening anymore, because if she knew one thing, it was that Fang would be relentless in pursuing the truth of it. On top of everything else that was going on, Lightning knew she just wouldn’t have the strength to deal with it; she lived with the woman, for Maker’s sake. There was no escape.

And so finally, softly, Lightning allowed herself to admit, “It… isn’t a fight.”

“Yeah,” Fang responded softly, untangling herself from the other woman before brushing a stray piece of hair away from Lightning’s eyes. “Got that much.” Her expression was sympathetic as she tilted her head a little to the left, her brow beginning to scrunch up as Fang apparently found the conclusion she had drawn hard to believe. “She really… she actually broke it off with you?”

Lightning understood why Fang had a hard time fathoming that. The one with the guilt in their relationship was her, and Serah had always been there to tell her that it was okay; that they loved each other, and that it didn’t matter. Serah had pushed for this to happen between them, and yet now she was the one who was running away?

Still, that wasn’t a hundred percent correct, so Lightning shook her head in response. “No,” she admitted, because Serah hadn’t used those words exactly. Still, she could read between the lines, and what she read there absolutely devastated her, because this situation was precisely what Lightning had feared would happen. And that made her hate herself, because if she had only had some self-control, this would have never come to pass. “But she will.”

Because she couldn’t give Serah what she deserved; what she wanted and needed in life. Lightning couldn’t marry her, she couldn’t have children with her, or have any sort of normal life with her; not like Snow could. When they had first begun this thing between them, things had been different. They had been _dead;_ completely alone with no one around to judge or ridicule them. But now, with a new world and a new life, it complicated things. It made everything difficult, and after Serah broke it off with Snow, what seemed like her indecision over the choice that she had made put a strain on their relationship that neither woman knew how to cope with. And so Serah ran off to Uni with a short explanation of ‘needing space’, and Lightning… Lightning just _let_ her.

And it tore her apart inside, because on one hand she wanted to give Serah her best chance, but on the other… she didn’t want to lose her. Just the thought of it tore her heart into shreds, because Lightning’s entire life had always revolved around Serah. Without her, she just… she didn’t know how to _live_. She had never lived for herself before; and quite frankly, Lightning really wasn’t sure how.

And to be honest, she wasn’t entirely sure that she ever wanted to either.

**TBC…**


	2. II

**CHAPTER II**

The mid-winter air bit harshly at Lightning’s skin as she awaited the arrival of the last train of the evening, the first snowflakes of the season falling gently against the asphalt as it peppered the darkened night with spots of white. A shiver ran through her body and Lightning pulled her coat tighter around herself as she watched Vanille out of the corner of her eye. The girl was twirling gracefully on the pavement with her hands in the air, the unexpected change in weather giving her a childlike joy that lit up her entire face. The sight of it should make her feel better, as such purity and happiness like that is said to be contagious, but all Lightning could do was scowl at the sight as she told her companion irritably, “She’s going to catch a cold that way.”

“She’ll survive,” Fang dismissed, watching her girlfriend skip along the station, sans any kind of decent winter wear. Fang was the same way next to her though, apparently used to much colder weather on Pulse to even think of this temperature as anything to be concerned about. A gentle elbow nudged her arm then, and Lightning refused to look at her as Fang questioned, “You alright?”

“I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t, and Fang knew it. No more than a week ago she had been in Fang’s arms as she finally relinquished all of the fear, all of the doubt she had held inside of her for so long, and it began to form cracks in Lightning’s well-placed mask of indifference that now just seemed to crumble away to nothing every time Fang looked at her. It was why Lightning couldn’t bear to make eye contact with her now; knowing that Fang would see all of the anxiety and fear that was brewing behind her hardened gaze made her feel weak, pathetic and small – so utterly _human_ that sometimes she couldn’t even bear to be in her own skin. 

She used to be above that; above emotions and above humanity, and whether she was willing to admit it or not, Lightning really was still having a difficult time adjusting to the fact that she wasn’t that person anymore, if she could have even been considered a person at all back then. At the end of the day, ‘The Savior’ had been more of an entity in and of itself than an actual title, and it and Lightning were not entirely one in the same.

Fang knew that part too though; insisted that was part of the issue even though Lightning continued to deny it, continued to insist that she was adjusting fine to her newfound humanity. But there she’d stood, a drunken, emotional wreck in Fang’s arms because she could feel Serah pulling away from her and was unable to find a way to stop it, and perhaps it was entirely feasible that she had been merely wallowing in a downward spiral that had first begun once her feet had touched the New World, and she was born anew in a body that now harbored an actual, human soul.

But that wasn’t to say that she was paranoid, or merely overreacting, because she wasn’t; Lightning wasn’t blind, and she saw the signs. She knew Serah was having difficulty adjusting to being alive again as well, and the strain that their taboo relationship put on them wasn’t helping matters either. They couldn’t ever be _normal_ because they were so far from it in the eyes of society, and it was because of that that Lightning cursed her sister for ever encouraging that they succumb to this thing between them in the first place, as it was doubtful it came packaged with a happy ending.

Serah had been naïve. Lightning had known it even back then, but had refused to acknowledge it because it wouldn’t have provided her with what she wanted; what she had always wanted, even before she allowed herself to entertain the idea. And now they were forced back into the real world without a clue on how to proceed, and it was beginning to tear them apart because they didn’t know how to make it work. They didn’t know if it even _could,_ and that was the truly devastating part of it all. 

“Yeah?” Fang responded disbelievingly, glancing over at her friend’s profile. “Well ‘fine’ is making you turn a little green, which I gotta tell ya is clashing really badly with that hair of yours.”

“Shut up. Why are you even _here?_ ” Lightning asked irritably, trying to fight down the waves of nausea that her nerves were causing her stomach. She didn’t know how Serah was going to react to her presence once she got off the train, and that terrified her. It would inevitably set the tone for the entirety of her sister’s winter break, and if Serah continued to be distant towards her, Lightning wasn’t entirely sure that she could handle that. “You could have just seen Serah once we got back to the house; it isn’t as though we both don’t live with you.”

“This ain’t for me, Soldier Girl; it’s for you,” Fang told her, completely ignoring the fact that her presence wasn’t exactly welcome at a time like this. Lightning had always preferred solitude, but mostly when she was feeling vulnerable, which this moment radiated in spades. “Said I’d fix your little problem, didn’t I?”

Yes, she had; after their conversation in the bathroom, Fang had assured her that she’d figure out a way to make things easier for her and Serah if she could, but Lightning distinctly remembered asking her not to get involved. This was her problem, her relationship, and she didn’t need her hand to be held during every little hiccup in her life just because she was having trouble adjusting to normality. And so Lightning finally looked at her, a painted glare making its way across her face as she reminded her, “I never asked you to. Exactly the opposite, in fact.”

“Yeah, well, you know me; I don’t take direction well,” Fang dismissed, causing Lightning to roll her eyes and turn away from her as she crossed her arms over her chest. The sound of a train horn blared in the distance, indicating its arrival at the station, and Lightning’s stomach clenched tightly in her abdomen as her heart beat a little faster in her chest.

“You’re intolerable,” she ground out, even though she wasn’t surprised in the slightest that Fang had decided to ignore her request; that was just how Fang _was._ And if she were actually being honest with herself – which Lightning wasn’t, not usually – she would admit to needing someone like that in her life, because otherwise she’d always shut herself away in a locked box and never let anyone in.

“Thanks.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Sounded like one to me,” Fang responded with a smirk, because of course she’d take pride in being utterly irritating, but Lightning was barely listening to her. She could see the train in the distance now, and it made her heart lodge in her throat as she stared at it like some kind of foreboding omen. And Fang, noting the look on Lightning’s face and the train in the distance, realized she was running out of time.

“Alright look, Vanille and I talked about your situation and we think we found a way to fix it, but you gotta trust me for a second, Light; can you do that?” Fang asked her, suddenly becoming serious as she took Lightning’s hand in her own, trying to get her attention as she pulled the smaller woman towards her. 

Lightning almost stumbled over her own two feet as she was torn away from the image of the approaching train, and as she had been barely listening to Fang, only a few of those words actually processed. “You—what?” she asked, but then the train horn blared once more as it pulled up to the station, and Lightning’s attention turned away from Fang yet again as she looked towards the approaching vehicle, wondering if Serah could see her standing there waiting for her through the half-frosted windows.

Fang sighed heavily from behind her, apparently realizing that talking about whatever she had planned before this wasn’t in the cards anymore, and so Lightning noticeably started when suddenly two arms enveloped her waist from behind, pulling her back against Fang’s chest as the other woman held her in what could only be described as a rather intimate position. 

“What are you—the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” Lightning demanded, suddenly very much aware that Fang was playing some kind of angle here, and already certain that she didn’t want to have any part in it. This was—she just didn’t _do_ physical contact with anyone other than Serah, and this was making her at least twelve different shades of uncomfortable. 

What was this; was Fang trying to make her sister _jealous?_ Because Lightning was certain that would solve zero of their problems, and create at least twelve more.

“Shh,” Fang hushed softly, her breath hot against Lightning’s ear and causing an involuntary shiver to roll down the soldier’s spine as she momentarily stopped struggling in her friend’s hold. She could feel Fang smirk against her skin, because of course she noticed the reaction that stupid little stunt garnered, but surprisingly she didn’t tease her about it. Instead, Fang kept Lightning close to her body as the passengers began to disembark from the train, informing her in a hushed tone, “Just trust me, yeah? And whatever you do, don’t hit Vanille; because believe me, you won’t be comin’ outta that one alive if you try.”

“Why would I—?” Lightning asked, feeling completely perplexed and disoriented by this sudden shift in their dynamic, but she couldn’t finish the rest of her sentence as Serah disembarked from the train then, and all of Lightning’s words suddenly died in her throat. She froze, completely and utterly, and unfortunately that meant she had stopped struggling and was still very much wrapped up in Fang’s intimate hold when her sister’s gaze finally rested on her. 

Serah looked shocked by the position her sister was in, followed by confused, and then finally hurt as she no doubt came to the very wrong conclusion. But it didn’t last long, as suddenly Vanille was bounding up to her, all smiles and joy as she wrapped Serah up in a hug that seemed to knock the younger Farron a little off balance. And that was fine, it wasn’t strange at all, and Lightning didn’t understand why Fang thought she would hit the girl until after Vanille pulled away, but only just enough in order to place a welcome back kiss on her sister’s lips that was _anything_ but chaste.

“Don’t— _don’t,_ ” Fang demanded, her grip on Lightning suddenly becoming a vice as the woman in her arms immediately felt an onslaught of anger and tried to wrestle herself out of the iron grip. But Fang held her still, her voice low as she whispered encouragingly in her ear, “Take a breath, Light; it was just a kiss. We’re never gonna be able to do this if you look like your head’s gonna pop clean off every time Vanille touches her, so just relax for a second, yeah?”

“Do _what?_ ” Lightning seethed, this time managing to wrench herself out of Fang’s grip before she rounded on her, gaze filled with accusation and blame. “What is this; some kind of crudely attempted _proposition?_ Because in case you haven’t noticed, Fang, I have more important things to worry about right now than your… your ridiculous _orgy fantasies!_ What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!” Her open palm hit Fang’s shoulder then, and although it wasn’t a punch, it made the woman wince all the same at the force of it.

“Shit; come on, Light!” Fang hissed, rubbing the offended shoulder for a second before she rolled it out. “Ease up on the violence, yeah? We were just trying to help!”

“Helping your way _into our bed_ is not—!”

“No, that’s not—!” Fang tried, then paused for a moment as she seemed to reassess the truth in that statement. “Well, okay, not like we’d say _no_ , but—”

“ _Fang,”_ Lighting interrupted dangerously, eyes flashing in warning. “You have about thirty seconds until parts of you are scattered all along this train station, so I suggest you explain yourself quickly because my patience? It’s suddenly running _very_ thin.”

But just then Vanille came skipping up from behind them, hand in hand with a perplexed looking Serah who was still trying to hold onto her luggage despite Vanille’s erratic swinging motions. “How’d she do?” she asked Fang, all bubbly with a big smile on her face, like she didn’t understand the repercussions of kissing Serah like that in front of Lightning at _all._

“Failed; pretty damn miserably, in fact,” Fang told her with a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck as she shot her girlfriend a chastising look. “Told you we shoulda said something to her first.”

Vanille pouted, rolling her ankle a bit as she cocked her head to the side. “But then she would have told us no,” she responded, like that was an actual, valid reason of why they should _go behind her back._ Lightning rubbed her temples then, feeling the onset of a splitting headache; this was not what she needed today. She had already been filled with anxiety and dread over her sister’s return for winter break, and now her two closest friends had to go and make this moment so much harder by doing _this?_ Whatever this was supposed to be. Honestly, what was wrong with them; did they have no sense? 

“Does someone want to explain to me what’s going on?” Serah asked, carefully slipping her hand out of Vanille’s to grasp a little firmer to her luggage. She looked so terribly out of place, and it hurt Lightning to see that because she shouldn’t; this was her home, this was her… this was her family; even including the two idiots who were currently trying to sleep with them, or whatever their master plan was with this little stunt.

“Fang was just about to explain why I shouldn’t kill her; she now has about fifteen seconds.”

“Why do I always get blamed? This was Vanille’s idea, you know; I’m just along for the ride.”

Lightning immediately looked scandalized, taking that completely the wrong way due to the assumptions she had already made. “If you actually think for a second that either of you are going to be _riding_ anything—”

“Alright, alright, relax,” Fang interrupted, holding her hand up to stop Lightning’s furious words. She looked torn between being amused, and slightly exasperated by the way her best friend was reacting. “Look, I know you’re stuck on this whole orgy thing, Light, and while I am flattered, that’s not exactly what we were going for here.”

Lightning cracked her knuckles, counting backwards from ten. She only got to seven.

“You know, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this here; it’s kind of a private thing and there’s a lot of people around right now,” Vanille reasoned, giving Lightning a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and at most was only trying to calm her down enough in order for her girlfriend to not get decked in the face. “So we’ll meet you at the car, okay?” 

And then she was grabbing onto Fang’s hand, practically dragging her out of reach from the explosion that was soon to be Lightning Farron’s temper. She felt like her blood was boiling, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if steam was coming out of her ears because what, the, _hell…?_

“…Light?”

Lightning turned to face her sister then, immediately dismissing all of her anger towards Vanille and Fang for something far more important in that moment. In the end, her sister had and would always overrule anything else; even her own temper. Her expression turning apologetic, Lightning began with, “Serah, I’m—I’m sorry. That wasn’t how… I mean, I don’t know _what—_ ” She sighed heavily, frustrated that she didn’t even have an explanation for whatever that was supposed to be; and so Lightning ran her fingers through her hair as she decided to just leave it for now, and have the reunion they were supposed to. “I mean… hey.”

Serah chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, shooting her sister a tentative smile as she responded softly with, “…Hi.”

They looked at each other for a long moment then, Serah practically wearing through the skin of her bottom lip with her teeth before she finally moved, coming in for a hug that was accepted without hesitation. Releasing a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, Lightning held her sister to her in a tight embrace as Serah buried her face in her hair. “I’ve missed you,” the girl whispered softly, as though she wasn’t sure how it would be taken, and Lightning tightened the hold on her as it released a burden that had been weighing her down for months now.

“I’ve missed you too,” she breathed, voice cracking with all of the emotion she had buried inside of her for so long. But they stepped away from each other then, both far too aware of how they needed to act in public, and Lightning’s heart clenched in her chest at her sister’s misty gaze.

“Claire, I’m—I’m _sorry,_ for… for how I’ve been acting, I know that I’ve been—”

“Don’t,” Lightning interrupted, the word breaking before she cleared her throat and looked away. She couldn’t do this; not now, not here. Everything about their relationship was very much a private affair, and the middle of a crowded train station didn’t afford them the luxury. “I just… I just mean we shouldn’t talk about this right now. Let’s get you home first, okay?”

Serah pursed her lips, but nodded in acknowledgement that now was not the time to do it. She went to pick up her suitcase then, but Lightning quickly insisted with a, “Let me,” before grabbing it and walking side by side with her towards the car. 

They could see Vanille and Fang in the front and passenger seat, looking like they were having either an argument or a frustrating debate, and as Serah glanced at her sister for a moment, she asked in a hushed tone, “Are they, um, a little… _drunk_ or something? I know they’ve always been kind of touchy, but that was… a little beyond that.”

Lightning glowered as she stared at the image of her two friends inside the car, who were both gesturing towards each other with their hands rather animatedly. “I don’t know what they are, or what they were trying to do, but now was definitely _not_ the time for them to pull something like this. I _told_ Fang—” But then she stopped, not wanting Serah to know how tortured she had been these last few months. Lightning didn’t want her to worry, but more than that, she didn’t want to appear weak; especially when things between them were still so fragile. She refused to let her guard down until she knew for certain that she could trust Serah with her heart, and as of late, it hadn’t looked like she should.

But of course her quick cutoff was noticed by her sister, who turned to her and asked, “Told her what?”

Lightning shook her head, refusing to catch Serah’s gaze as she popped the trunk of the car and placed her luggage in it. “Nothing. Forget it.” 

But Fang and Vanille were being too loud, and their muffled conversation floated out even through the closed doors of the car. “—was a bad time to do this, is all I’m saying! I told you before that I thought it was a good _idea,_ and I still think that it is, but—”

“I’m tired of seeing her upset, Fang! It makes _me_ sad, and it makes _you_ cranky, and you know that she won’t take help if we offer it. So I thought if we just—”

Lightning wrenched open the car door then, snapping at the two of them with, “Will the both of you please stop talking?!” Both women fell silent then, apparently not realizing before that the two Farrons had been so close to the car. Lightning was immediately back to feeling irritated, but it was only to cover up the embarrassment she felt for Vanille basically outing her to Serah that she had been upset lately, and now her sister was looking at her with her brow furrowed and a little frown pulling at the corners of her lips.

But Lightning decided not to address the issue, and instead held out the door to Serah in offering. The girl looked at her for a short moment, concern still showing behind her crystal eyes before she realized Lightning wasn’t in any mood to talk about this, and slipped into the car without a word. After Lightning followed in behind her, Fang started the engine.

“Friendly reminder that you can’t hit me while I’m driving, Light.”

Lightning scowled, crossing her arms over her chest as she slumped further into the seat. “Just drive. I’ll deal with you both when we get back to the house; I don’t want to argue right now.”

The half hour drive was met with silence then, all four women – for the most part – doing nothing but staring out their respective windows. There was a brief moment though when Lightning felt her sister’s fingers brush lightly against her hand, and when she turned to look at her, Serah gave her a tentative smile through her bitten bottom lip, and linked their pinkies together. And it was there that they stayed until they pulled into the driveway of their small, two bedroom home, reminding Lightning of a normalcy that she was convinced had been lost to her.

She wasn’t expecting this; with how Serah had been acting lately, barely calling or writing while she was away, Lightning had feared the worst when she came home. She ran off to Uni to find herself, to figure out her place in a world she was once lost to, and Lightning had assumed that her sister would find their unorthodox relationship too heavy a burden to bear on top of it all. And Lightning wasn’t stupid; she saw how breaking things off with Snow had destroyed her sister nearly half a year back, and part of her expected that once she had done some reevaluating, that she would want to return to him. Lightning wouldn’t blame her; it would upset her, yes, but surely it would be far easier than _this._

Still, while things between them didn’t seem to be on the precipice of destruction, that wasn’t to say that everything was completely fine. Lightning could tell by her sister’s sudden awkward demeanor, which was coupled with her own guarded one as they both tried to figure out where the other stood. They still had things to talk about, they still had things to figure out, and at the end of the day, there wasn’t a guarantee that even if they _wanted_ to make it work, that they would be able to.

That thought made Lightning’s stomach twist uncomfortably in her gut, and in order to put off that inevitable conversation for a little longer, the moment they got out of the car Lightning snapped, “Both of you in the living room, _now._ We have to have a conversation.”

As Fang openly rolled her eyes at Lightning’s angry, chastising tone that no doubt sounded like she was mothering them, Lightning chose to ignore her as she helped her sister get her bag out of the trunk. “Wait for me in our room?” she suggested softly, placing a brief kiss atop her sister’s forehead after she handed her the bag. “You can get settled back in while I deal with them; and I’ll be in there soon.”

Honestly, Lightning just didn’t want her to be around for the conversation she was about to have with her two friends, as they would no doubt bring up the private conversation that _she_ had had with _Fang._ And while Lightning wasn’t surprised that the woman turned right around and told Vanille everything, because she had known a long time ago that there were no secrets between the two of them, she couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed about it. It wasn’t as though she didn’t trust Vanille with her vulnerabilities, but she and Fang were just… much closer, than she and Vanille were. As awkward as it was to express her feelings like that to Fang, it was far more so to have Vanille know about them.

Serah chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, no doubt knowing that she was trying to get rid of her for a moment, but as things between them had been fairly unsettled as of late, she allowed her sister the moment of privacy that she needed with her friends and nodded her consent as she reached down and briefly squeezed Lightning’s hand. “Don’t take long,” she requested softly, and Lightning gave her a small, reassuring smile.

“I won’t.”

After all four of them had piled into the house and Serah had headed off to their room, Lightning turned to her two friends who had made camp on the couch and started, “What. The. _Hell—?_ ”

“We were just trying to help—!” Vanille began, but Lightning wouldn’t let her finish.

“By sticking your tongue down my sister’s throat and having _your_ girlfriend practically grope me?” Lightning asked, disbelief and frustration coloring her tone as she stared at the two of them, not understanding what they could have been possibly thinking. “Have you both _lost your minds?!_ I don’t know what Fang told you, but whatever you were attempting to do isn’t going to solve—”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Light; I barely touched you,” Fang interrupted with an eye roll, propping one of her legs up on the couch as she rested her elbow atop it. “Look, I’m not saying what we did is gonna magically solve all your problems; they’re yours and Serah’s and we get that, okay? But we found something we could possibly help fix, and being your _friends_ – y’know, the people who actually give a shit about you and your spiraling depression as of late – Vanille thought we should try it out on like a… trial basis, or whatever, just to see how you’d react.”

“And, alright, yeah, it went… _badly,_ ” Fang admitted, scrunching up her nose in a look of guilt and half-assed apology, “and we know now that tonight was a bad time to do it, given everything that’s been going on with you two, but I think that if you just hear us out for a second, it could end up becoming a good thing for you. So just… I don’t know, take a pill or something, yeah? Sit down for a sec and let us explain, because frankly if you don’t you look like your head might pop clear off and I, for one, don’t wanna clean up that mess.”

Lightning stared at her for a long time, feeling all of her muscles poised and ready for a fight, but eventually she huffed in frustration and sat heavily down on the large armchair that faced them. “You have five minutes,” she told them flatly, because quite frankly, she just didn’t have the effort to argue with them for Etro knows how long. She had Serah to attend to.

“Alright, so taking out the fact that you both have your… issues,” Fang began, which immediately made Lightning narrow her eyes, as she certainly didn’t want that word to be synonymous with her, regardless of it being true or not. “You both still have another problem, which is the fact that you’re… y’know, _related._ ”

“Well-spotted,” Lightning deadpanned, trying like hell not to flush at that. Despite the fact that the two of them had known about the extent of her and Serah’s relationship for quite some time now, there was still a part of her that was ashamed of it. It was… _hard_ , to get over those kinds of insecurities; but she was working on it. 

“So eventually people are going to wonder why neither of you are getting into relationships, why you always spend so much time with one another, why you both chose to live with one another for so long… etcetera, etcetera, and so on and so forth,” Fang continued, waving her hand to continue her point without actually making it. Lightning frowned then, knowing Fang was right; while that wasn’t much of an issue right now as everything was still fairly new, if they spent the rest of their lives with one another, sooner or later, people would begin to wonder. It’s one of the things she’s feared since the beginning, along with a laundry list of other things, but she had chosen not to address it just yet as it wasn’t much of a factor at this point.

“But you also live with us!” Vanille chimed in, beaming at the woman across from her as she motioned between herself and Fang. “And we just thought that if you used that as a cover, then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard on you guys. At least when it comes to that, you know?”

“…No,” Lightning responded, her brow creasing in confusion. “What does living with you guys have to do with anything? You both are dating _one another,_ so how does that ‘cover up’ what me and Serah are doing?”

“Yeah, but what if we weren’t?”

“Weren’t what?”

“Dating each other,” Fang finished, an unspoken ‘obviously’ in her tone as her eyebrows rose, hoping that Lightning would get her point without her having to elaborate too much. “What if Vanille was dating Serah, and I was dating _you?_ ”

Lightning blinked, trying to process that. So far, she wasn’t being very successful. “I— _what?_ ”

“Not for real or anything!” Vanille exclaimed quickly, needing Lightning to realize that this was more of a façade than anything else. “Just when we’re outside the house; then we can all come back here and you guys can be together and me and Fang can be together. That way, no one will ask questions and you guys can feel more comfortable about everything. And we wouldn’t mind, honest!”

Lightning just stared at her, trying to process how on _earth_ they thought that something like _that_ would be a good idea. It sounded absolutely ridiculous, and had a potential for a load of problems that she doubted either of them could even see. And Fang, recognizing the look on her friend’s face, seemed to see that they weren’t being convincing enough, and held up her hand to stop Lightning’s words before they came. “Ah, ah—okay, before you say no—”

“ _No._ ”

Vanille’s expression suddenly crumpled and Fang blew a strand of hair out of her face irritably. “Oh come on, you can’t even take a second to _consider—_ ”

“That you might be clinically insane? Because believe me, I’ve been considering that for some time now; this was just the icing on the cake,” Lightning responded flatly, before suddenly she was up off the chair, gesturing erratically with her hands as she continued. “Leaving aside the fact that this little stunt you both pulled today had the absolute _worst timing_ – which I’m still pissed at you about, Fang, because you should have… you just should have just _known_ that I wasn’t up for this kind of insane crap today – neither of you seem to be considering that there might be repercussions to something like this. You both honestly think you’d be _okay_ with seeing the other hanging all over me or Serah? This could easily screw up both of our relationships, and I’m not allowing it. So… thank you, I guess, for trying to help, but _no._ ”

Fang scrunched up her nose. “Oh, are you guys into the whole… monogamy thing?” She looked honestly confused by the prospect, and Lightning shot her a disbelieving look.

“Isn’t everyone? That’s what a relationship _is_ , Fang.”

“Well if you wanna go by what society’s definition of what a relationship should or shouldn’t be, then _you_ definitely shouldn’t be dating your sister, for one,” Fang shot back and, well, that did shut Lightning up; at least momentarily. “And for two, Vanille and I have always had a more… _laid back_ approach to our relationship. So for us to date other people? Not much of a stretch, to be honest with ya. Hell, Vanille could mount you right now and I’d be fine with it; although I’d probably want to watch.”

Vanille pursed her lips then, tilting her head to the side as if _appraising_ Lightning and seeing whether or not she’d be up for that as well, and just the mere implication of her train of thought made Lightning snap uncomfortably, “Stop looking at me like that!”

Vanille giggled, but she did stop.

“Look, you two can ride the monogamy train if you want, I don’t care,” Fang continued, waving that off with her hand. “We’re not lookin’ to _sleep_ with you guys, Light; we’re just offering to make things a little easier by letting you hold our hands in public and maybe stealing a kiss every now and then. Y’know, make it seem like you guys are taken without anyone really knowing who you’re taken _by._ Seriously, it’s really not as big of a deal as you think it’ll be.”

Lightning doubted that. While Fang and Vanille seemed to be okay with watching one another be all over someone else, the thought of it made Lightning feel a little uncomfortable. She was… fairly possessive, at least when it came to Serah. It just didn’t feel right. “Still no.”

Fang sighed heavily. “Light—”

“I said no, Fang; end of conversation.”

“Fine. Well, we’ll be here when you reconsider.”

“I think you mean _if._ ”

“Nah, you heard me right, Sunshine; I said _when,_ ” Fang responded with a smirk, before nodding her head over towards the stairwell. “Cause if you really think Serah ain’t listenin’ to every word we’re saying right now and is going to want to discuss at least the possibility of it with you, you’re dead wrong.”

Lightning chewed on the inside of her cheek before exhaling a frustrated breath and pushing the hair out of her eyes. She was right, of course; Serah had always been far too curious for her own good, and there was the very high probability that she had been listening this entire time. Damn Fang, the woman was utterly infuriating; especially that stupid smirk of hers, which apparently was getting wider the more Lightning realized that she was _right._

Exhaling a long sigh, Lightning rolled her eyes as she decided not to give Fang the satisfaction of an answer, and headed off towards the bedroom she shared with Serah. Because whether the girl had been listening or not, whether she wanted to talk about Fang and Vanille’s offer or _not,_ there were still far more important issues that needed to be addressed. 

Because if they weren’t, it was possible that they would no longer even _have_ a relationship that might require this kind of a façade. 

**TBC…**


	3. III

**CHAPTER III**

When Lightning entered her bedroom her eyes immediately fell on the image of a girl leaning up against the far desk, worrying her lip between her teeth as she shifted her weight between her feet. Serah looked so very out of place; nervous and uncomfortable in a home that was supposed to be her own. The sight of it caused a sharp pain to shoot through Lightning’s chest, compressing her heart and forcing her stomach to twist into knots. This wasn’t what she wanted for her; she just wanted Serah to be happy, and now she looked anything but.

And it was entirely her fault.

“You were listening.” It was more a statement than a question, and yet Serah pursed her lips and nodded in response anyway. Lightning exhaled a breath, but did not lecture her about spying; in the end, she probably would have done the same thing if she knew other people were talking about her.

“You told them we were having problems,” Serah responded, and it almost sounded slightly defensive, as if she was worried Lightning was going to lecture her regardless and wanted to combat it with ammo of her own. After all, it probably wasn’t Lightning’s place to be spreading around their business when they barely spoke of it between themselves.

“Fang was… irritatingly persistent,” Lightning said in her own defense, closing the door behind her as a brief, irritated look crossed her features. “Believe me, I wasn’t planning on it. She trapped me in the shower.”

Serah quirked an accusatory eyebrow at that, no doubt because of position she had found them in earlier. “It’s not how it sounds,” Lightning responded, her tone a little exasperated because, honestly, it would be absolutely ridiculous if Serah actually thought that something was going on between them. Crossing her arms over her chest she continued, albeit a tad defensively, “You know how I am about privacy; I didn’t have my towel and I wasn’t going to get out naked in front of her.”

Serah’s demeanor noticeably relaxed after the explanation, but she still seemed a little tense as she awkwardly pulled on the hem of her cardigan. She always did that when she was stressed, and Lightning briefly remembered how many times she had to replace Serah’s shirts as a teenager because she would always stretch them out. Lightning assumed it was because of the pressure that came along with school, but to be honest she never really knew; they weren’t exactly close back then – Lightning having pulled away due to her own fear and guilt – and therefore she never even bothered to ask.

This though, this she recognized and knew. Not that it made it any better. In the end, she still didn’t know how to relieve Serah of her emotional stress; at least not when she was feeling the same way herself. 

“I just don’t know what to think right now,” Serah told her honestly, looking down until she realized what she was doing, and immediately let go of her shirt. She sighed then, shaking her head as she placed her hands behind her to lean against the desk, occupying them. “I feel like I’ve come back and everything’s changed. And I know a lot of that is my own fault, but I wasn’t expecting other people to be involved in our relationship; I can barely handle the two of us in one right now.”

“There’s not,” Lightning responded quickly, taking only a singular step towards her; wanting to be close, yet still maintain distance. “More than two of us involved in this; there’s not. We’re not going to bring any more people into our relationship, okay? Just ignore them; I know they’re trying to help, but they’re idiots. They don’t understand that we’re not like them, so just forget about what they offered for a minute; focus on us.”

Serah’s gaze that had been previously trained on the floor moved upwards, catching Lightning’s eyes. The two sisters were silent for a moment, just looking at one another, until Serah stopped worrying her bottom lip and gently pushed herself off the desk. She approached her slowly, almost tentatively, and Lightning felt herself hold her breath as Serah closed the distance between them. Lightning’s heart beat heavily inside of her chest, and yet instead of the kiss she had been expecting, she watched her sister gently place her hand above her left breast, feeling the rhythm of each erratic pound. Serah wet her lips briefly, before finally breaking eye contact and glancing down at her hand. 

“I make you nervous,” she breathed, taking note of the increased heart rate, and the shallowness of her sister’s breath. Lightning paused a moment before finally nodding in response; there wasn’t any use lying about it, after all. “You’ve always needed to be calm; in control. But with me you’re… you’re not.” Serah’s eyes caught hers then, and the vulnerability and fear that shone behind them made Lightning’s insides twist into knots. “…Do you hate it?”

“No,” Lightning whispered, her voice cracking a little because she wasn’t sure if her response was entirely made of truth. Serah was right, about her needing control; especially lately, with how she had been feeling ever since she was made human again. Dropped in a body she barely recognized as her own, Lightning felt as though she lost control over herself a long time ago, and she hated that. But even still, Lightning knew she could never truly hate something brought about by her sister’s touch; she knew she was lucky, to even be gifted with something like that in the first place. “I just never thought you would ever know why.”

Serah pursed her lips, slowly tracing a heart shaped line around the beat beneath her fingertips. “I was stupid,” she mentioned softly, sounding so utterly self-hating despite how intently she was watching the pattern her fingers were drawing, trying to distract herself; distance herself from it. From feeling. “For thinking this would be easy. I’m sorry.” Serah took a breath then, her brow crumpling in distress. “I’m sorry for pushing you into something like this, Claire… and pretending that it would be normal.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Lightning tried, voice barely above a whisper as she looked down at the hand that was tracing patterns against her breast. Her sister’s touch felt uneven, unsure, and Lightning hated it; hated that Serah felt some level of discomfort when she was around her now. “We didn’t know we were ever going to get out of there. And if we had stayed… it would have been. It would have been easier.”

“Maybe,” Serah softly responded, resting the flat of her hand against her sister’s chest once more. It seemed like it trembled for a moment but then it stilled, and Lightning felt herself exhale a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. “But I still knew.”

Lightning’s brow crinkled, her attention diverting from her sister’s hand to her face. “What?”

“I knew we’d get out of there,” Serah clarified, looking up to finally catch her sister’s gaze. “I knew because… because you always save me, Claire; and it didn’t—it didn’t _matter_ that it felt impossible, because it was you and it was me.”

“So I knew,” Serah continued, but her tone started to get more strained then; her words more frantic as she attempted to explain herself. “I _knew_ and I didn’t—I never bothered to think about what it would be like afterwards; about how much I would hurt Snow, and how scared I would be. Because I’m… I’m scared, Light; I’m so scared someone’s going to find out, and then—!”

Serah’s voice was starting to rise sharply in pitch, her words coming out tense and upset, and so Lightning didn’t think about the distance that had been wedged between them recently, about the problems they had been having or how hurt she had felt over the last few months; instead she did what came naturally, and immediately drew her sister into a hug as she gently shushed her. Placing her hand on the back of the girl’s head, Lightning felt Serah exhale a shaky breath against the skin of her neck as her fingers fisted in the older woman’s clothing. 

“It’s why I left,” Serah admitted after a long moment, the words being exhaled just barely above a whisper. “Why I chose a school so far away. I didn’t want anyone to know; I didn’t want _him_ to know. I left him and I just—I was scared that he would know why if I stayed with you, because outside of you, Snow has always known me better than anyone. I was scared that he would find out, that it would hurt him and that he’d tell everyone just to get back at me and we’d have to—we’d have to _run,_ away from everyone we loved, just to find some semblance of a normal life. I didn’t want to do that to you; I didn’t want you to lose everything and then… and then _hate_ me because I was the one who made you do this in the first place…”

Serah’s voice hitched in the back of her throat then, and Lightning held the girl tighter in her arms as she kissed her on the forehead. “No,” she breathed fiercely, not allowing her sister to bear the burden of this. “No, Serah, you didn’t _make_ me do anything; don’t ever blame yourself for that. I made my own choice.”

Serah shook her head in defiance, but didn’t argue the point. She knew that even should Lightning admit to herself that she was pushed in that direction, that she would never say it out loud. She wanted to protect Serah at all costs, even if that meant lying to her. Besides, in the end, it wasn’t as though Lightning wasn’t a willing participant; she just had been a hesitant one at first. 

“I thought maybe we could go back,” Serah breathed finally, her cheek pressed up against Lightning’s chest as she stared at the far wall. “Back to the way it was. I wanted to make things easier for you; because you were already so messed up from getting your humanity back, and I knew I was making it worse. It’s why I didn’t contact you that often, I just… wanted to see if we could; if we could be normal again, but I don’t—I don’t think I _can_ , Light, and it makes me feel selfish and awful because I feel like I’m ruining your _life—_ ”

“Serah, stop— _stop_ ,” Lightning demanded, feeling her throat tighten as she placed her hands on each of her sister’s arms, crouching down a little to face her at eye level. “You will _never_ be the cause of ruin in my life; you are what makes it _whole._ Don’t ever think you’re anything less than that.”

Serah didn’t say anything for a long moment, she just looked at her with big eyes that were beginning to shimmer with emotion, and Lightning’s thumb traced the contour of her sister’s cheek where the first tear slipped down her skin. “I should have said something to you,” Serah breathed finally, looking at her sister with regret and anguish in her expression. “But I thought it would make it worse, because of how you—how you _were…_ ”

Lightning broke eye contact then, humiliated by her inability to handle her own humanity. When they had first gotten to the new world, it had been much worse than it was now. It was before they had decided to move in with Fang and Vanille, and for a time, only Serah saw her. Only Serah took care of her; through the blinding pain of her headaches and the anguish of her unsorted emotions, watching over her while Lightning practically lay crippled in her bed for weeks, crying and screaming and cursing her own humanity. 

Back then, Lightning wondered if that was what it felt like to be born; all of these things being crammed inside of an empty shell, filling her up and making her human. But it didn’t come gradually; it came all at once and it was painful and it was confusing and it hurt, everything just _hurt_ inside as Lightning’s soul was forced within her and she was made anew. Perhaps that was why babies always cried, and perhaps for that reason it was a blessing that once they grew up, they no longer remembered.

Maybe one day she would forget how it felt too. But unfortunately that day was not today, and so Lightning found she couldn’t look at her sister as a feeling of shame crept up her spine.

“But… this was worse, wasn’t it?” Serah finished softly, trying to catch a gaze that wasn’t being allotted to her. “You had been getting better, and I was so afraid that you’d regress if you knew I was scared and uncertain about… about _us_ , about everything, that I didn’t even think about what it would do to you if I just pulled away without saying anything.”

“I’m fine, Serah,” Lightning tried to convince her, but her words were harsh and defensive and Lightning had to back away a little as she ran a hand through her hair. “I’m fine,” she repeated, because she was tired of it; she was tired of being coddled because everything wasn’t quite right inside of her yet, tired of being looked at like she was weak, unstable. That wasn’t who she was, didn’t they know that?

“They don’t seem to think so,” Serah responded softly, mentioning the two women downstairs. Lightning scoffed, fully on the defensive now. It was one thing when she was the one comforting Serah, but when things got turned around and she was the one being treated like something breakable, her inability to stifle her own irritation caused her to reveal more about how she felt than she was actually comfortable with. She missed being stoic; hardened, unmoved. Now everyone knew how she felt, and she was impatient with the fact that she had yet to retrain herself to hide it.

“It doesn’t take a genius to know that an incestuous relationship is going to put a strain on the people involved, Serah,” Lightning shot back, causing her sister to exhale a soft sigh as she looked at her helplessly. Serah had always hated when she tried to be let in, and all she was met with were walls.

“Lightning, please just—you’re getting defensive, and I understand you’re still not okay with… with everything – with yourself, with how I’ve handled everything – but can we just… talk, please? Be honest with one another?”

Lightning pursed her lips, a part of her ever the defiant, but when Serah approached her and gently took her hands into her own, the older woman was reminded of the care and love she had always gotten from her sister, no matter what was happening in their lives, and she felt herself exhale a defeated breath as she allowed her sister to lead her over to the bed. In the end, she couldn’t fight this. She didn’t want to.

They sat next to one another, hands still clasped together, and Lightning wished that she wasn’t so afraid of the truth. Yes, Serah had said that she didn’t think she could go back to the way things were before, but she also admitted that she lived in constant fear that someone was going to find out about them; uncertain about whether they should continue to be what they were to one another, and that strain could end up being too much to bear should they allow it to go on. It made Lightning’s throat tighten, to realize that despite the love they held for one another, this could all be over in a moment’s notice.

“I’m scared, Claire,” Serah admitted in a whisper, looking down as she ran her thumb gently over the back of her sister’s hand. “I love you so much, and now that we’ve… found something _more_ in one other, I never want to lose it. You told me once that you didn’t want to do this because you didn’t want to ruin my life, but the thing of it is… if people found out, it wouldn’t. It’d be awful, of course, but I’m okay with picking up and running to somewhere where no one knows us, with starting over, but I don’t want to do that to you. I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it if the people you love start looking at you like you’re something sick, something depraved, so I didn’t… I didn’t pull away for me. I pulled away for you, because I was scared I was going to ruin _your_ life.”

“Stop saying that, I already told you that you could never—”

“But I could, Lightning,” Serah insisted, gently squeezing her hands to make her point as she looked her in the eyes. “When we first began this, you were embarrassed about anyone finding out, and we were _dead_. I don’t think you could bear the shame if it was someone else besides Fang and Vanille; someone who could never understand. And I think you know that. Especially with… and please don’t take this the wrong way, but… especially with how you are right now.”

Lightning felt her defenses flare to life again, but when she tried to pull away Serah wouldn’t let her. She just grasped on to her hands firmer, refusing to let her go. “No, Light, please—I know you hate it, but this, what you’re going through right now, it doesn’t make you weak, okay? I know it’s not you, _they_ know it’s not you, and it’s only temporary. Please stop trying to shut everyone out the second someone mentions it, because it’s pointless to try to pretend something doesn’t exist when everyone knows it does. Just let us help you.”

“I don’t need help.” It was such a childish response, and yet it fell from Lightning’s lips anyway. Her emotions were still rather unstable, and she was still feeling things in harsh waves instead of constants beneath the surface. And an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, of self-loathing, was something she instinctively lashed out against, because they absolutely disgusted her.

“Fine, then do this entirely on your own if you’d like, but at least stop pretending that it’s not happening,” Serah tried, desperate for her to see reason. “You’re not _less_ for struggling with your emotional self-control, Claire. You’re _not._ ”

Lightning was getting frustrated, but tried not to let it overwhelm her as she quickly attempted to change the subject. “Fine, but can we please stop talking about me?” she asked, briefly pulling away from her sister’s hold to pinch the bridge of her nose. “That’s not what’s important right now. Serah, you’ve been gone for _months,_ and I still… I still have no idea where we stand, or what it is that you even want—”

“I want _you,_ ” Serah interrupted, a fierce emotion in her voice coupled with almost a tone of disbelief, that Lightning hadn’t understood that by now. “I’ve always wanted you, Claire; and I always will. But I just… I guess I just want it to be _easy._ Simple. Uncomplicated.”

“It can’t be, Serah. It just… can’t.”

“I know,” Serah sighed, looking as though that thought deflated her as she gently laid her head on her sister’s shoulder. Lightning tangled her hand in Serah’s hair, holding the girl close to her as she looked at their reflection in the far mirror. They complimented one another; the same, yet so very different, and Lightning couldn’t imagine sharing her life with anyone else. Serah, however, after a long moment’s thought, seemed to disagree; at least about it only being the two of them, anyway. 

“Maybe it would be easier though,” the younger girl continued after a lengthy pause, her tone hesitant; unsure how it would be taken, “if we… if we let them help us lie.”

Lightning looked at her sister’s reflection incredulously as Serah’s gaze met hers in the mirror. “Don’t tell me you’re actually _considering—_ ”

“I know it would be strange,” Serah told her, lifting her head up in order to look her sister directly in the eyes, “seeing one another with someone else, but it’d just be a façade for the outside world, wouldn’t it? Maybe a few kisses, some hand holding, and then we can come back here and be with each other without anyone suspecting anything. We’re afraid of other people finding out, Light; and maybe this… maybe it will make it easier to hide it from everyone. Maybe this will make it easier on _us._ ”

“You say that like jealousy wouldn’t become an issue,” Lightning tried to reason, because she knew them; she knew it would never be that simple. Nothing ever was. “The thought of someone else touching you doesn’t exactly fill me with joy, Serah; and you’ve always been jealous of my friendship with Fang.”

“I’m not jealous of your—” Lightning shot her an incredulous look however because she knew her, and _she knew better_ , and as Serah realized that she sighed heavily and admitted, “Fine, maybe it’s… been a little weird for me, seeing you so close to another person. I used to be the only one in your life, the only one you ever cared about, but it’s the little sister in me that’s jealous over it, Light; not the lover.”

“Not yet. If I kiss her though, you may feel differently.”

“Maybe,” Serah admitted with a soft sigh, gently weaving her fingers between her sister’s, holding her hand tightly in her own. “But we won’t know until we try, and we have to—we have to do _something,_ Lightning. We can’t just hide away up here forever and hope nobody notices. We need to _live;_ go out and have a life and not be afraid, and… and maybe lying to everyone else is the way to do that.”

Lightning exhaled a wary breath, shaking her head. “This is a bad idea,” she muttered, and yet didn’t go against her sister’s decision, because while she personally might not like it, she didn’t want to force Serah into a life of secrecy and unhappiness. She wanted Serah to live, to experience a life that had once been robbed from her, and she couldn’t do that if every time they were seen together, they were afraid someone would finally realize what they really were to one another.

“Light…” Serah implored softly, gently pulling on her sister’s hand to both garner her attention and pull her a little closer to her. When Lightning’s eyes met hers, she found a gaze that was filled with hesitancy, with hope. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” Lightning breathed without thought, because that had never been in question. It had always been rather instinctual, to trust Serah with everything that she had, more than a decision she had consciously made. Serah’s small smile grew a little at that answer as she brought their linked hands up to her lips and kissed the back of her sister’s hand. 

“Then trust that I’m trying to do the right thing by us,” Serah implored her, holding eye contact to show her sister that she was being honest with her. “I know in the end I could be wrong, but right now, I honestly think that letting them help us might be our best option. So please try to have an open mind about this.”

Lightning didn’t know if she’d be able to, but she silently promised that she would try with a nod of her head. It was then that Serah finally closed the distance between them, gently placing her lips against her sister’s as she kissed her softly; the first kiss either of them had had in months. It was because of this that it wasn’t the chaste peck that Serah was no doubt intending; just a way to say thank you, for Lightning’s trust in her, and for the woman’s willingness to do something rather unorthodox in order to save their relationship. Instead it became something more, something needy and desperate as they both realized it had been far too long since they had touched one another.

Serah grasped the side of her face, a silent plea for Lightning to stay with her in this moment, if only a little bit longer. And maybe Lightning still felt a pang of despair in her heart from months of minimal contact with the woman that she loved, from months of not knowing where they stood and fearing the worst, but it had been so long since she had touched, since she had even _held_ her sister, that she couldn’t find it within herself to pull away. Placing her hand atop her sister’s that lay delicately on her cheek, she let Serah know that it was okay, that she would allot her this, even if everything wasn’t perfect, even if everything wasn’t fixed, because it didn’t matter. They were here now, they were together, and that was enough.

And Serah, who had always been the aggressor in their relationship, took that as a sign of her sister’s compliance, of her trust in her, as she kissed Lightning fiercely, guiding her onto her back as she straddled the older woman’s waist. As she shrugged off her cardigan and pulled on Lightning’s belt, she breathed between kisses, “We can… tell them… later… right?”

“—Yeah,” Lightning panted out, Serah’s lips having found the base of her throat as she nipped and licked and marked the space as her own. Lightning closed her eyes, twisting her fingers in a bed of rose colored hair, and tried to think of nothing but this; this, which made absolutely no sense to society as a whole, and yet all the sense in the world to her. And perhaps it would soon be tainted by something that would make even _less_ sense to both Lightning and the world, but so long as she got to hold on to this, it didn’t matter.

Because this, because _Serah…_ she was what mattered. She was what would always matter.

[x]

“ _So,_ ” Fang began pointedly as the two Farron sisters descended down the stairs sometime later. “How did it go?”

She was lounging back on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table with a smirk on her face, because she probably had heard _exactly_ how it went between them, and Lightning tried not to flush at the implication as she gave her friend the finger in response.

Fang’s smirk widened. “You better wash that hand before it goes anywhere near me, Sunshine.”

“Shut up. And get your feet off the table.”

Fang rolled her eyes, but it was Vanille who smacked her girlfriend lightly on the leg to encourage her to put them down. “Did you talk about it?” the younger girl asked, looking at the two sisters expectantly with a wide, encouraging smile on her face. 

“I think…” Serah began, folding her arms a little self-consciously around her midsection before stealing a quick glance at Lightning to make sure they were on the same page. Lighting huffed and rolled her eyes, not wanting either of them to think that this is what she _wanted_ by any means, (mostly because she didn’t want Fang to have the satisfaction of thinking she won, as she would be absolutely insufferable about it), but she gave her sister a quick nod in response anyhow, agreeing. They needed to do _something,_ even if that something ended up being something incredibly stupid. 

“I think we’re going to try it,” Serah told them finally, shifting the weight between her feet as she glanced at both of them in turn. “At least… on a trial basis.”

“Excellent!” Fang responded, grinning victoriously as she immediately hopped off the couch. She grabbed Lightning’s hand in her own then, trying to pull her to Maker only knows where. The gesture was unexpected, and Lightning nearly tripped over herself from the force of it. “No time like the present for your first lesson then, yeah? So let’s get a move on.”

Lightning planted her feet. She detested being dragged _anywhere._ And besides… “Since when does something like this require _lessons?_ ” This was beginning to sound more complicated than she originally thought it would be, and that made her like this plan less and less as an apprehensive look crossed over her features. 

Serah assured her that this would make things easier for them, but now it sounded far more involved than either of them thought it would be.

“Since you’re liable to pop off on any one of us the second you don’t feel comfortable,” Fang explained, looking at her like she was stupid not to put two and two together. And, alright, that was true, but regardless. “You think we’re just gonna walk out that door and everything will be smooth sailin’? You’re irritable and jealous as hell; it’s going to take you some time to get used to the idea of not just me touchin’ ya, but Vanille touching _her._ ”

Lightning’s face immediately darkened at that thought, and Fang pointed at her unhappy expression. “See what I mean?”

Lightning exhaled a frustrated breath, forcefully untangling her hand from Fang’s as she took a step backwards. “So what, you expect us to just go in there and… and _make out?_ ” That was probably an over exaggeration, as kissing someone didn’t necessarily have to be that heavy or involved, but still. Just the thought of it began to give Lightning terrible anxiety, and she began to twist her palms together as the muscles in her arms began to tense. 

“Hey, if you got another plan to get yourself used to this, Soldier Girl; I’m all ears.”

Lightning glanced over at her sister, who was standing next to Vanille with her lips pursed into a thin line. She didn’t entirely seem comfortable with this plan either, and yet after she chewed briefly on the inside of her cheek, she saw the truth in what Fang was saying and sighed softly in defeat. 

“She’s right, Claire,” Serah eventually admitted, although at least had the decency to sound a little apologetic about it after witnessing how tense just the thought of it made the woman across from her. “We’ll never be able to play this convincingly if we don’t get used to it first, and that would—it would defeat the entire point of lying if we’re not able to put on a convincing act.”

That was so not the answer Lightning wanted to hear, despite every word of it ringing true. She was nervous, and she hated feeling that way because it made her seem weak; fragile. She used to be able to go to war and barely bat an eyelash, and yet suddenly the prospect of kissing her closest friend made her want to run directly out the front door? It didn’t make sense, and it was absolutely ridiculous.

Still, realizing that didn’t change her feelings on the matter.

“We’ll take it one thing at a time, we promise. Baby steps!” Vanille interjected, just trying to put a positive spin on it, even though the only positive thing in this situation was the happy pitch of the girl’s voice. To be fair though, Vanille could announce that they were all going to die and it’d probably sound like the happiest thing in the world; she just had that air about her.

Sometimes, it actually served as a comfort to Lightning. Unfortunately, this was not one of those times.

“We’ll do it separately first; make it easy for you guys, y’know?” Vanille continued, smiling at both sisters to try to keep them at ease. “Then after you’re okay with that, we can do it in front of each other; make that be okay as well. And don’t worry, Serah,” Vanille took the girl’s hand in her own then, playfully grinning at her as she started dragging her towards the stairs, not waiting for any more of a go ahead on that matter, “I’m a _really_ good kisser.”

Fang snorted in amusement at the look that crossed Lightning’s face at those words, but before the soldier could really process it, Fang had already taken ahold of her arm and began guiding her towards the bedroom she shared with Vanille. “Come on, Sunshine; something tells me you’re gonna need more work than your sis, an’ there’s no time like the present to pop that uptight cork of yours.”

“I am _not_ uptight,” Lightning growled in warning, yet still allowed Fang to drag her into the other room for whatever asinine reason. Love, although that wasn’t asinine; she would do whatever she needed to to keep Serah, even if that included _doing_ asinine things like allowing Fang to ‘win’, which usually never led to anything good. At least not for Lightning.

Fang, she was sure, would tell a different story.

“Will you relax already?” Fang asked, apparently noticing how much of a nervous wreck Lightning currently was once she closed the door behind them, giving them some semblance of privacy. “I’m not gonna jump ya.”

Lightning, who was tense from head to toe, just glared at her for pointing it out. Maybe this was easy for her, but not everyone was as comfortable with their sexuality; or cheating, for that matter, even though this probably didn’t count as such as Serah had given her explicit permission. Still, a part of her was thinking about what Serah and Vanille were doing upstairs, and coupled with what _she_ was supposed to do with Fang downstairs, it began to cause her a fair amount of discomfort and anxiety.

Especially since the thought of doing anything remotely sexual with Fang immediately caused her brain to remember in vivid clarity what the Oerbian looked like naked and, Maker, she did _not_ want that picture in her head right now. Exhaling a frustrated sigh, Lightning tangled her fingers in her hair and practically turned on the spot, not really knowing where she was going, but just needing to _move_. Shaking out the tension in her hands, she suddenly turned back towards Fang and responded sharply, “Fine, let’s just get this over with.”

Fang quirked an eyebrow at her. “You really know how to sweet-talk a girl, huh?” Lightning narrowed her eyes in response, and Fang chuckled. It was easy, effortless, and everything else Lightning wasn’t in that moment. She hated it; she envied it. “Look, I can see this is makin’ your panties bunch up your arse, so we’ll start with something simple, yeah? Quick, no tongue. You think you can do that without punchin’ me out?”

“Probably, but I might punch you out anyway,” Lightning grumbled, irritated by Fang’s assessment of her current emotional state. Not like she wasn’t expecting it, since that’s just how Fang _was._ And generally she was okay with it, as that was their dynamic; Fang always teased her, and Lightning always responded with some flat, irritated response or an eye roll. It wasn’t bad; in fact, if she were to be honest (which she wouldn’t, at least not to her), Lightning would say that a part of her actually really enjoyed their back and forth. Still, this was different. This was… this was uncharted territory for them, and that made her uncomfortable, as she didn’t know how it would end up playing out.

Lightning, a woman built around routine, really detested the unknown.

But Fang reached out for her hand then, tangling their fingers together to bring the other woman towards her. Her touch was surprisingly gentle, which threw Lightning off for a moment because when she pictured Fang and sex (which certainly was _not_ a regular occurrence, mind you), she always assumed the woman would be rough; controlling, domineering. She had always thought Fang just took what she wanted without thought or hesitation, as that was how she recklessly charged into battle, but this… this was very much not like that at all.

Fang looked down at her then, and it was… different. It wasn’t a look full of cockiness and amusement, but something else, and it was that something else that caused Lightning’s stomach to flutter with nerves as she realized she desperately needed to get this over with. Rising up on her toes, Lightning pressed a quick kiss to Fang’s lips before almost immediately pulling away and taking a full three steps backwards away from the other woman. 

“What are you, kissin’ your grandmum?” Fang asked incredulously, looking at her like she had got to be kidding her with that little display. “Bloody hell, Light; it’s a miracle you got your sister in the sack if that’s the kind of crap you’re doling out.”

“This isn’t easy for me, okay?” Lightning snapped back, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at her friend. There was a time and place to pick on her, and right now really wasn’t it. “I’m not like you; I can’t just waltz around naked or kiss random people—”

“You callin’ me ‘random’ now?” Fang interrupted, sounding offended. And with the way she clearly took it, she should have, because even though Lightning might not express it enough, Fang really was her closest friend, so of _course_ she wasn’t random. But still, that wasn’t how she meant it.

“Not _you_ , just… you said that you do this all the time, didn’t you? You and Vanille, sharing each other with strangers, or whatever the hell it is you’ve been doing, and I’m just telling you that I’m not _like_ that. I’m not like—”

“Alright, alright, slow down,” Fang tried, placing her hands on Lightning’s arms to bring them back down to her sides; while she was ranting they had been practically flying all over the place. “Look, you’re thinkin’ too much, yeah? That’s your problem; always been your problem, that head of yours.” She pressed her finger against the side of her friend’s head then, gently pushing on it enough to make Lightning scowl and bat her hand away. 

“Maybe we’re going at this all wrong,” Fang theorized, stepping away from Lightning for a moment. “Maybe it’ll be easier if you’re hyped up a bit; feeling instead of thinking, y’know?”

“What the hell are you—” _talking about,_ but she didn’t get the rest of her words out because suddenly Fang threw a punch at her, which was only narrowly blocked at the last moment before Lightning temporarily lost her footing and stumbled back.

“Come on, Light; fight me,” Fang encouraged, a wicked grin on her face as she lunged at her again, causing Lightning to block another blow with the length of her arm before she retaliated with a swing of her own, irritated that she was at a momentary disadvantage because she hadn’t seen this coming.

“Fang, we can’t… do this… in here!” Lightning tried to reason, because Fang’s bedroom wasn’t exactly large; the logical thing to do would be to put this on hold for a second and spar outside in the yard, and the reason for that became blaringly obvious as one of Fang’s kicks that went straight to Lightning’s chest flew her back into the wall, causing a framed picture to fall to the ground, smashing the glass.

“Well unless you wanna lose then you’re gonna, now come on!” Fang shouted before she tried to land a flying downward punch on the woman who was nearly crumpled on the ground. Lightning rolled out of the way just in time though, only narrowly missing the shards of glass that littered the hardwood floor. She swung her elbow backwards then, colliding with the space between Fang’s shoulder blades, and the brunette hissed as she attempted to turn around and backhand her. 

It didn’t go on long, but it went on long enough to nearly trash half of Fang’s bedroom in the process. But Fang was right; it caused her not to think. It caused her to _feel;_ to focus on nothing else but her and Fang’s body movements, and to forget all about the anxiety she had not ten minutes prior. And because of that, when the huntress finally got in a lucky blow that landed Lightning straight on her ass, she didn’t even think to move when Fang got right on top of her and crashed their lips together with little to no warning.

And it was instinctual, to kiss her back. Lightning’s blood was pumping in her ears, every inch of her body alive with the thrum and the thrill of a good fight, and all she knew how to do in that moment was to throw herself entirely into this new change of routine; because it felt good, because it flowed right. 

Because she wasn’t, in any way, using her head.

It was Lightning who surged upwards then, encouraging Fang to part her lips with a brief nip to her bottom one; and as Fang complied to the demand, Lightning felt her fingers tangle in a mess of dark hair as she finally allowed her tongue to slip into the other woman’s mouth. Fang groaned, and the sound of it reverberated through her; it was soft, deep, sexy… all of these words that Lightning would have never, until today, allowed herself to attribute to her closest friend, as it would never have felt right.

But this did. This felt right, maybe even like some kind of natural progression for them; and that in and of itself should have scared Lightning so badly that she was forced to get out from beneath her and run straight in the other direction, but Fang’s fingers were digging into her hip and all Lightning could feel was sweat-slickened skin and soft lips against her own and, Etro forgive her, she wanted to taste more than just Fang’s tongue.

Lightning’s fingers cupped the side of Fang’s neck then, pressing into the skin as she allowed her lips to wrap around the opposite side, gently sucking and nipping and making Fang groan and breathe, “Fuckin’ hell, Light…” as she ground her pelvic bone into one of her thighs. And it was that, the sound of Fang’s voice, that suddenly caused Lightning to get smacked so fast back into reality that it nearly gave her whiplash and she quickly pulled away from the woman on top of her. 

She pushed Fang then, forcing her off of her before she scrambled backwards, her breathing labored and her eyes widened as she struggled to try to make sense of what had just happened between them. They were just supposed to kiss; something normal couples would do in public to say hello or goodbye or get out a small bit of excess hormones when they were drunk, and that… that was not it. That was a little far beyond that, and now Lightning had no idea what to do. 

Fang looked taken aback by the sudden shift in the atmosphere, but it was only brief. Her mind quickly caught up to what exactly was happening now, and she held out her hand to her friend, like she was trying to ward off the panic attack that Lightning was no doubt about to experience. “Light… Lightning, just— just relax, yeah? We just got a little—”

_Carried away,_ probably, and did she think?! And it wasn’t even _Fang_ who caused this to get entirely out of hand, it was _her._ But Lightning didn’t stick around to hear the rest of Fang’s pleas for her to take a breath, because she was suddenly off the floor and out of the room in the blink of an eye, running away from something that, in that moment, she just didn’t know how to understand. 

**TBC…**


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I’m currently writing chapter 12 and that’s looking like it’s gonna be the last chapter unless I end up splitting it into two since it’s starting to get ridiculously long, lol. Just wanted you all to know the estimated length :) I’ll try to continue updating twice a week, but it all just depends on when my beta can get to it. Hope you’re enjoying it thus far, and thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed! I really, really appreciate the feedback.

**CHAPTER IV**

Lightning took the stairs two at a time, not entirely sure if she was blindly running away from something she couldn’t handle, or towards something that she needed to make it better. However, when she burst open the door to her bedroom – so hard that the wooden door was forcefully banged against the corner wall, leaving a large dent in the plaster that would surely remind her of this moment for weeks to come – she found herself walking in on something that made it so much worse.

Serah and Vanille sprang apart, obviously much more content with one another than she had been with Fang; at least, if how close to one another they were was any indication. Vanille immediately jumped straight off the bed though and backed away from Serah, knowing from the look in Lightning’s eyes that this was most likely not going to be a pleasant conversation. “Out. _Now,_ ” Lightning demanded, unable to really comprehend much beyond the fact that she needed to be alone with Serah.

It was ridiculous, how overwhelmed she felt; Lightning was already aware that the instability of her emotions as of late would cause much stronger reactions than what was probably necessary for any given situation, but knowing that didn’t change how she felt. She felt guilty, confused, _horny_ even still; which was the very worst part of it all. It was overwhelming, it was suffocating, and she needed Serah to help make sense of it all.

“Claire, what happened; what’s wrong??” Serah asked, concern masking over her features as she tried to approach her. But Lightning just violently waved her hand, not wanting to explain in that moment, before she looked dead at Vanille and furiously pointed towards the open door behind her. Right now she just needed her space, and Vanille was invading it.

“I kissed her and she liked it; that’s what’s bloody wrong,” Fang interjected irritably, apparently having decided that she too didn’t feel like complying to Lightning’s nonverbal request for space as she approached her from behind. “Come on, Light; you gotta loosen up. It was just a kiss; it’s not the end of the damn world. Hell, _you_ should know.”

Lightning whipped back around so fast her hair hit the side of her face and tumbled down her left shoulder, a scowl forming on the edge of her lips as she looked at her friend dangerously. Now was _not_ the time to comment on how tightly wound she always was, because she was about four seconds away from popping off all together. But Serah came up behind her then, wrapping her sister in her arms and gently encouraging Lightning to just leave the situation with Fang right now, and focus on her. 

“Hey, come here,” she breathed, just the mere sound of it soft and comforting as Serah led her away from the current source of her inner turmoil. “I’m sorry,” Serah apologized, looking at the two other women in her bedroom, “but can you give us a minute? I’ll sort this out, I promise. Lightning’s just been… a little on edge lately.”

“You’re bloody telling me,” Fang muttered, before rolling her eyes and responding, “Fine. Come on Vanille, let’s get out of here; that kitchen show I like’s gonna be on any minute anyway. Rather listen to that guy scream than her.” She sounded angry, like maybe she took Lightning’s reaction to what happened as a rejection of _her_ , and just the thought of that made Lightning’s head hurt as she collapsed onto her bed and put her head in her hands.

This was a bad idea.

“This was a bad idea,” Lightning told her sister once she heard the door close behind her friends, repeating her previous thought. Serah pursed her lips into a thin line, approaching Lightning before sitting next to her on the bed and gently putting a hand on the older woman’s knee.

“What happened?” she asked softly, brow crinkling in concern. “Was Fang too… forward?”

_No, I was._

Lightning exhaled a long breath, running her hands over her face as she straightened her back and looked out the far window. She didn’t know how to start. She didn’t even know if she wanted to, despite the fact that she knew that she _needed_ to. If she kept what she felt from Serah, it would only make her feel guiltier, and that was the last thing she would be able to handle right now.

“Walk me through it,” Serah inquired gently, squeezing her sister’s leg in support, even though they both knew that there was a high chance that, given her current emotional predicament, she could be over reacting. Still, it didn’t feel like an overreaction in that moment, but that was because everything right then was hitting her with such force that it felt like she was drowning. 

“I couldn’t—I couldn’t do it… normally,” Lightning tried to explain, making careful effort not to look at Serah while she did so. She was afraid of the look that would fall across her sister’s face, after she had explained to her exactly what had happened down there. “Kiss her, I mean. She said I was thinking too much so we… we sparred for a little while; to loosen me up, to get me to stop obsessing – whatever the hell it was supposed to do.”

“And did it?”

“Yeah,” Lightning muttered, exhaling another long sigh as she pushed the hair out of her face. Her heart was going a thousand miles a minute, and all she wanted was for it to stop. All she wanted was to feel normal again; whatever that was. It had been so long since she felt like herself that a part of her feared she didn’t even know what that was anymore. “That was the problem.” 

Serah’s brow rose then, and Lightning couldn’t bear to look at the expression on her face, because she was so afraid that telling Serah that she actually… that she actually _enjoyed_ it, would hurt her beyond repair. Serah already had jealousy issues when it came to Fang, and although they were more from a sisterly point of view and generally kept beneath the surface of things, Lightning feared making them any worse.

“She said that you liked it. That that’s what was wrong.” It was said after a long pause, and Lightning pursed her lips in guilt and looked down at the floor. But instead of the hurt that she was expecting to hear in Serah’s voice, she heard her sister sigh softly as she lightly squeezed Lightning’s leg. “Light… it’s a kiss; you’re supposed to like it.”

“…What?” It was the first time Lightning actually looked her sister in the eye, and Serah’s expression masked into one of sympathy and understanding. Or, at least she tried to make it do so. Behind it, Lightning could still see something; something she fought with, something she didn’t want to be there, but it was ignored in favor of a more preferable outcome.

“If you didn’t like it, then how on earth would you ever be able to convince _other_ people that you do?” Serah rationalized, because she was good at that; she could look at the bigger picture and see what really mattered, just like Lightning used to. But with how she had been lately, prioritizing a result over her own emotions just hadn’t been possible, and Lightning hated that. That didn’t make a soldier; that made a victim. “I love you, Light; but you are definitely not the world’s best actress. You need… part of it, at least—needs to be genuine for you. You need to love someone to be intimate with them.”

Lightning looked insulted by the implication; horrified that something like that could even be considered – that she could love another, when her entire world has always revolved around Serah – and yet at the same time, she found herself a little frightened that, on some level, it actually held the potential to be true. Regardless, she pulled away from Serah’s grasp, focusing instead on the part where she believed she could never do that. 

“How can you even think that; that I could love anyone else but you?” Because she would never, _could_ never; and just the mere thought of it caused her stomach to tighten and her chest to flutter with anxiety, because it didn’t sit right with her at all. She wasn’t that kind of person, no matter what she feared deep down.

“No, I don’t mean—” Serah tried, before tampering off with a small sigh as she instinctively tugged on the hem of her shirt. It was only brief though, and soon Serah’s hands were folded in her lap, the girl choosing instead to fiddle with her own fingers in order to keep herself from compulsively stretching out all of her clothes. “Claire, she’s your best friend. That… that doesn’t come without some level of love. You care for her, probably much more than you’re even willing to admit to, and I—it’s not my favorite thing in the world, as you already know, but I know my jealousy is irrational. Just like…” she tampered off then, her tone turning sympathetic and she finished, “just like your reaction to this is.” 

Lightning chewed on the inside of her cheek, looking away as she shook her head. It was true, but that didn’t mean she didn’t hate that it was. When would it be, that she would finally have an appropriate reaction to things again? It had been so long now, centuries upon centuries, that Lightning didn’t even know how normal felt anymore. 

“I think you were expecting to feel nothing, and when you didn’t, it… it made you feel guilty, and you couldn’t handle that,” Serah finished, tangling her fingers in her sister’s as she held her hand. “Am I close?”

Lightning exhaled a long breath, starting to feel foolish. She just wasn’t used to this though; she never once just kissed a friend – at least one that she didn’t have feelings for, and so she wasn’t sure how it was supposed to feel. And yes, perhaps with everything that was going on with her – everything feeling so intense all the time, whether it be good or bad – had ultimately caused her to overreact to the situation. But she nodded though, confirming her sister’s theory, because she had felt guilty; she felt like she had been betraying Serah in some way, and that was the last thing that she wanted to do.

“Did you like it?” Lightning asked after a long moment’s silence, not sure if she wanted to know, but needing to all the same. “Kissing Vanille?”

Serah nodded, and a strange feeling inhabited the pit of Lightning’s stomach; jealousy, but also relief, because she wasn’t the only one. The two emotions didn’t mesh very well together, but Lightning forced herself to deal with it all the same, because in the end, what other options did they have? Maybe this was just something she would have to get used to, in order to keep Serah close to her heart without fear.

“But it’s different,” Serah explained softly, giving her sister a gentle smile as she touched her face. “Claire, what we—what we feel for one another, that’s different than how we feel when we’re with others. That’s something that can’t be touched; can’t be replicated. It’s real, and this other stuff… it’s not. Not on the level that we share with one another.”

Letting her hand fall back to her lap, she told her, “If you’re not comfortable doing this, then we don’t have to. I just… I think we should give it a fair chance before we give up completely, because I don’t—I don’t really know what other options we have right now.”

Lightning sighed heavily, but knew she was right; and so she nodded, understanding. Serah smiled softly, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on her sister’s shoulder before she rested her chin atop it. “I think it’ll get easier,” she breathed, looking up at Lightning’s profile. “Change is always unsettling at first, but we’ve always managed it, haven’t we? Look at the life we’ve had; nothing has stayed the same for long.”

“That was different,” Lightning responded, voice just as soft as she stared out the far window. “I had a focus – not just a Focus, but a mission; something I needed to fight for, something I needed to accomplish. Compared to that… nothing else mattered. It was just background noise.”

Serah pressed her lips against her sister’s shoulder, and Lightning could feel her smile against her skin, because she knew that focus had always been her. Still, she took that explanation and she found a way to use it in a way that would make sense for Lightning as she replaced her chin back onto her shoulder. 

“Then only think about the mission,” she reasoned, needing Lightning to focus on the bigger picture, instead of all the little things she had to do to accomplish it. “Fight for us, Lightning; fight for our life together. If you want that, then nothing else you do should matter in achieving it.”

Serah had always known; known how to understand her, known how to get through to her. Her sister knew who she was and how she worked better than anyone else, and after Serah had dusked her thumb over her chin and pulled her in for a soft kiss, Lightning nodded in understanding. This mattered; her and Serah, it was the only thing that ever mattered, and if she had to deal with unorthodox situations and confusing emotions to keep her close, then she would. 

Serah suggested that she apologize to Fang for her temper, as the woman was only trying to help her, and while Lightning wasn’t all too good at something like that, she descended the stairs anyway, because she had to make this right. Fang was sitting on the couch alone as she stared at the TV, her counterpart completely spread out over the armchair nearby as she idly kicked her legs in the air and twirled a loose strand of hair near the back of her neck. Vanille looked happy; Fang looked pissed off.

Lightning was going to say something when they both looked up at her, but to be quite honest, words had never been her forte. And so instead she inhaled a long, shaky breath before she approached Fang, immediately swinging her legs over either side of the woman’s body before the huntress had a chance to react. Because it had to be quick; it had to be instinctual and thoughtless so she wouldn’t dwell or psyche herself out of what she needed to do, and so Lightning didn’t hesitate when she grasped her friend’s face in her hands and left a long, lingering kiss on the other woman’s lips.

Fang didn’t react at first, apparently too shocked by Lightning’s forwardness that it didn’t register in her brain to reciprocate until after a full ten seconds. But when she realized what was happening she reached up, tangling her fingers in a mess of rosy hair as she drew Lightning closer to her, immediately parting her lips in invitation. Lightning took the cue, trying to ignore the flutter in the pit of her stomach or the heat that was quickly rising through her body, tingeing her cheeks with a deep pink as she exhaled a small sound that she would be embarrassed to call a whimper.

It didn’t last long after that, Fang being the one to break the kiss and gently encourage Lightning to give her a little space with a soft push to her right shoulder. “…Right,” she said after a long moment, her breathing a bit heavier than normal as she pushed the hair back from her eyes. “Not exactly what I was expecting, but I guess I can run with it for now.”

Lightning felt a little embarrassed by her own aggressiveness, but she didn’t really have time to dwell. She suddenly remembered Vanille was there, and although she knew that logically the woman was used to stuff like this, she still felt the need to apologize for doing it so suddenly in front of her. But when she turned around to address the girl she suddenly froze, seeing Serah sitting on the edge of Vanille’s armchair, hand in hand with the other woman. Her lips were pursed into a thin line, obviously not very comfortable with the display, but trying to be as she allowed Vanille to comfort her as she held her hand in her own. 

She hadn’t realized Serah had followed her downstairs. She wouldn’t have—she never would have done that in front of her, should she have known.

But Vanille just smiled at her softly, encouragingly, before she turned to look at Serah and gently tugged on the hand she was holding, trying to get her attention. Serah finally tore her eyes away from Lightning for a moment, and that was when Vanille encouraged the younger girl towards her to give her soft, tender kiss on the lips.

Lightning felt herself inhale a sharp breath at the sight, her stomach twisting into painful knots. She knew it was only fair, as she herself had done it in front of Serah, but she still didn’t feel prepared for it. 

Lightning felt a pair of strong arms slide around her waist however, and Fang pulled her gently inwards to place her lips against her friends ear. “She loves you,” Fang reminded her softly, the words causing a small shiver to run down Lightning’s back from the deep decibel of them. Sometimes, Fang’s voice did things to her that she wasn’t very proud of, but as this wasn’t the first time the woman’s close proximity garnered this kind of reaction, Fang chose not to mention it. She had more important things to say anyway. “She’ll only ever love you, Light. It’s okay.”

Lightning understood that, of _course_ she understood that, but when she saw Serah’s tongue slip past Vanille’s lips, she found she had to look away. “Hey,” Fang encouraged softly, dragging her fingertips over the contour of Lightning’s cheek, and downwards across her jaw as she gently dusked her thumb over the soldier’s bottom lip. The intimate touch caused Lightning to look at her then, and her breathing caught in the back of her throat as she was confronted with an intense gaze. “Forget about them for a minute, yeah? Just… look at me. Stay with me.”

Lightning watched Fang’s gaze flicker from her eyes down to her mouth, and she felt herself take another sharp inhale of breath as the woman allowed her thumb to drag down Lightning’s chin, taking the soldier’s bottom lip with her until it gently snapped into place. Lightning suddenly felt like her mouth was going dry, but when her tongue snaked out to rectify that situation, the gesture caused Fang to look rather predatory and, suddenly, the soldier was having a little trouble breathing. 

Lightning felt herself swallow hard as Fang leaned forwards then, but instead of kissing her, the huntress just gave her lips a short, teasing flick of her tongue that caused Lightning to exhale a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Fang smirked then, the gesture wide and confident. “I make you nervous,” she murmured, low enough for only Lightning to hear. Her gaze caught the soldier’s then, and the smirk across her face widened substantially as she chuckled and finished, “That’s kinda hilarious.”

Whatever stupor Lightning had been in previously shattered then, a look of irritation crossing her face as she punched Fang in the arm. “Ow, shit!” Fang exclaimed, but she was still chuckling as she rubbed the offended spot. Lightning continued to glare at her however, not particularly fond of the one eighty of her emotions; it was not like she didn’t have enough problems with them as it was. But Fang just defended herself with, “What? It is! Can take on a bloody God without fear, yet you look like you’re about to bolt out the door the second someone wants to stick their tongue in your mouth. It’s funny; all I’m sayin’.”

“Why do you have to do that?” Lightning asked, looking at Fang incredulously. “Why do you always have to make a joke out of everything?”

“Because that’s what I do, and you’re arse over tits right now because you think this is gonna change things between all of us, and I’m just tryin’ to show you that it’s not,” Fang defended, and while Lightning understood, on some level, what it was that she was trying to do, that didn’t mean that she had to do it about that. 

“Oh, lighten up,” Fang insisted, noting the irritated look on her friend’s face before she wrapped an arm around the woman’s waist, pulling her down to sit next to her. “We’re integrating this into our normal routine, remember? So just chill out and watch some TV with us; try to make this actual human contact crap your new comfort zone, if kissing’s too much for you right now.”

Lightning shot her a perturbed look as she tried to situate herself into a better position – as the one Fang tried to throw her in wasn’t the most dignified with a skirt on – and once she got settled she shot a sideways look at her sister, trying to gauge her reaction to all this. The girl was settled into Vanille’s lap herself at this point, presumably having shifted to more comfortably kiss her the last time around. Their legs were intertwined as Serah sat sideways astride her, leaning into Vanille’s shoulder with her head resting delicately atop hers as she watched her sister and Fang bicker. She didn’t look uncomfortable or anything, actually quite the opposite positional wise, but Serah’s expression told her that she didn’t exactly seem at home either. Lightning could relate.

This was going to take some getting used to.

“Wait, I have an idea!” Vanille exclaimed, apparently noting herself that neither Farron seemed particularly comfortable with this level of closeness at the moment. The kissing had been one thing, although to be honest, it probably shouldn’t have been in front of each other this soon; that kind of caused this to progress a little slower than it probably would have if they had continued to do this behind closed doors.

And yes, Lightning realized it was entirely her fault that they didn’t have that anymore, but regardless. She wasn’t really in the mood to watch Serah cuddle someone who wasn’t her, even though she was aware that, logically, they should both probably become relatively okay with a lack of space between themselves and their fake significant others. If they always kept Fang and Vanille at arm’s length when they weren’t actively being intimate, it might end up looking suspicious.

Which was problematic in general, as Lightning had never been big on the invasion of her personal space. This would be much more difficult for her than it would be for Serah, but to be fair, that was probably true about every single aspect of this little venture; not just the physical contact part.

“Serah, get up for a second.” The younger girl did as she was told, and after Vanille followed suit she took her hand and led her over to the couch. “Scoot!” she told them, waving her hands at Fang and Lightning to move down to the other end. Fang moved without question, but Lightning apparently took too long because suddenly she was practically being dragged into the other woman’s lap on the other side of the upholstery.

Smacking Fang’s hands away she snapped, “I’m not a doll, Fang!” before situating herself next to the other woman, huffing in irritation as the huntress chuckled and threw an arm around her. Fang always did find amusement in Lightning’s general displeasure of the world around her though, so all Lightning had in response to that was an irate side-eye.

Vanille situated Serah on the other side of Lightning before plopping herself down on the far side. “Now hold hands,” she instructed them, pointing to the sisters. Lightning’s brow rose at that request, as the girl didn’t honestly think it would all of a sudden be easier because they were touching, did she? But Serah didn’t question Vanille’s method, and did as she was told as she linked their fingers together, gently squeezing Lightning’s hand.

And, alright, perhaps it did provide a level of comfort; the gesture that no matter what, this wouldn’t change things between them. Serah smiled at her softly as she settled back into Vanille, and as Fang began to gently weave her fingers through rose colored hair as she idly flipped through the channels, Lightning actually felt herself relax a little more as she returned her sister’s smile and tightened the grip of their hands. 

It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but it did feel a little bit more normal than it had when they first began this; and that was enough to prove that, one day, if they were lucky, they might actually be able to pull this off.

[x]

When Lightning awoke the next morning, she was completely alone. Which wasn’t entirely a surprise, considering since she was up half the night just staring at the ceiling, when she finally fell asleep she ended up sleeping in quite late. Still, it would have been nice to wake up in Serah’s arms, reminding her of where she truly belonged. She felt so out of place lately.

She eventually dragged herself out of bed though, and after throwing on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts she finally made her way downstairs. The smell of food assaulted her nostrils the second she reached the first floor, and her feet instinctively took her to the kitchen as her stomach growled loudly.

Usually it was Serah who did the cooking, but the only one in the kitchen this morning was Fang, who turned around the second she heard Lightning enter. “Mornin’, Sunshine,” she greeted, stepping away from the stove to place a chaste kiss on the other woman’s lips. Lightning reacted before she could think about it though, immediately pushing Fang off of her before her brain finally caught up to the situation.

“—Sorry,” she apologized, realizing that Fang was probably just trying to get her used to a kiss as a greeting, as she was sure that was something normal couples did in public. “I’m still half asleep.” 

Fang just stared at her though, arms crossed over her chest and a pointed eyebrow raised in her direction. Lightning exhaled an exasperated sigh, realizing what it was that she was after, and begrudgingly tried again with an exaggerated, _“Hi,”_ as she leaned in and placed a quick kiss on the brunette’s lips. “—We done with that now?”

“Wait,” Fang suddenly exclaimed, her hand shooting out to wrap around Lightning’s bicep. The gesture nearly startled the soldier into hitting her, but Lightning managed to suppress that instinct as she watched Fang’s expression become deadly serious. “You hear that?”

“Hear what?” Lightning asked, suddenly very much awake as she forced herself to become more aware of her surroundings. Was someone in the house? What the hell was it that she was hearing, because nothing sounded out of the ordinary to her; and that fact by itself unsettled her, because it proved just how completely out of touch she had been lately.

Fang just looked off into the distance though, her tone completely serious as she told her, “I think… shit, yeah; I think that’s the sound of the world not ending.”

Lightning stared at her, not understanding for a minute what the hell the woman was on about, until she finally realized and she rolled her eyes, shoving Fang off of her. “Shut up.” Fang laughed as she turned back towards the stove, apparently thoroughly amused by her own stupid sense of humor. As Lightning plopped down into one of the dining room chairs, she changed the subject with, “Where are Serah and Vanille?”

“Shopping. Christmas shit, I think; or maybe something for Lebreau’s birthday. I dunno; I was practically still asleep when Vanille told me.”

“—Helpful.”

“Text her then if you’re so concerned. Personally though, all I’m worried about right now is gettin’ this food in my stomach as soon as humanly possible,” Fang responded, before pausing and looking over her shoulder at the other woman. “You want bacon?”

“Yeah,” Lightning responded distractedly, looking around for her phone before she remembered that she left it upstairs. Sighing, Lightning decided to forgo the text to Serah for the moment; she was sure she was okay anyway, and honestly she just wasn’t awake enough to go trekking up and down the stairs multiple times before her morning coffee. Which, speaking of, was the only reason she bothered to get out of the chair as she headed towards the machine to pour herself a cup.

And it was right then, as she was pouring the hot liquid into a mug and Fang was dishing out their breakfast portions, that Lightning realized that this wasn’t weird. It was actually normal, save the kiss they just shared in greeting not five minutes previously. Which was what Lightning _actually_ found strange, as she had assumed that with everything changing between the four of them, that it would end up twisting their relationships with one another into something unrecognizable. But this hadn’t; she and Fang had had a heavy make out session yesterday, had cuddled together on the couch, and yet this morning it was like nothing had changed between them.

It was strange. It was refreshing. And it helped her not to obsess about it; at least for a little while. 

“Hey, you know about Lebreau’s birthday?” Fang mentioned after she had taken significant time in practically attacking the food on her plate. Her mouth was still half-full when she began talking, and Lightning shot her an exasperated look that at least caused her to swallow before she continued, “You know that’s show time, yeah?”

Lightning blinked, a piece of toast halfway to her mouth, not really comprehending the change in topic right off the bat. “What?”

“Us. Your sister and Vanille,” Fang explained, waving her fork towards her. “We gotta start sellin’ this sometime, Soldier Girl; might as well be when everyone’s around.”

Lightning swallowed, shifting uncomfortably in her seat as she began moving her food idly around her plate; a distraction for her hand, but unfortunately not for her mind. “Isn’t that… a little soon?” she asked, as that was three _days_ from now, and certainly Fang couldn’t expect her to be ready in that short of a time, did she?

Fang shrugged, seemingly not concerned by her friend’s obvious anxiety over the subject. “Your sister’s not gonna be home forever, and we gotta start laying the groundwork before she heads back to Uni. No time like the present, I figure.”

Lightning continued to stare at her eggs, pushing them around her plate as she tried to ignore her nerves that were suddenly making it feel like her stomach was doing somersaults. She shook her head then, telling her, “I don’t think this it even going to work. Won’t everyone think it’s suspicious that all of a sudden we’re dating you both, when you two used to be together?”

“Thought about that already,” Fang responded with a grin, like she had everything all figured out and was about to impress Lightning with her forethought. “Serah and Vanille can play it like they’re just starting to fall for each other, but you and _I_ … well, we can just tell ‘em we’ve been dating for a while now. A month, maybe two; whatever works. Cause hell, it’s been a while since we’ve seen everyone anyway, and it’s not like you’re known for you openness.”

“Besides,” Fang continued, annoyingly enough through yet _another_ bite of food, “me and Vanille have never defined our relationship before; at least not to other people. We can just say we like to fuck each other when neither of us are in a relationship, but that it’s never been anything more than that. People will probably just chalk up our casual approach to sex and relationships to us being from Gran Pulse; hell knows you guys do that already anyway.”

Well… that was true. When Lightning found out that neither woman subscribed to the ideal of monogamy, she had assumed that it was probably due to things being different on Pulse than they were on Cocoon. Fang and Vanille had always had a very unorthodox approach to life, but still, that wasn’t the part that concerned her. “You expect us to sell that we’ve been in a relationship for _months?_ ” Because to do that, Lightning would have to be completely comfortable with this, as it would no doubt look strange that after months of supposedly being in a relationship with Fang, she could barely handle being touched by her in public. “I don’t… I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Not sayin’ it’s not gonna take some practice; but regardless, outside of all that, there’s one thing you absolutely gotta be able to do for this to work,” Fang told her, looking at her pointedly as Lightning finally allowed their gaze to connect from across the table. And it was then that Fang’s self-assured look faltered a little, a brief slip of a mask she tried to firmly hold in place as she finished, trying to keep any emotion out of her voice, “You gotta learn to trust me.”

“I do,” Lightning responded without thought, because after all that they had been through together, hadn’t that been obvious?

“Yeah?” Fang responded disbelievingly, and suddenly Lightning realized what she saw behind the front that Fang was trying to portray; hurt. She was hurt because she honestly thought her friend didn’t trust her, and that made Lightning’s stomach twist into knots with guilt. “Cause I’m startin’ to get that you’d rather bolt out the bloody door than talk to me about anything that actually matters. You might trust me to have your back in a fight, Light; but that’s about the extent of it.”

“That’s not—that’s not true,” Lightning tried, starting to feel ashamed of herself as she crossed her arms over her chest and avoided eye contact. She knew that in this particular instance she was in the wrong, but she didn’t want to admit to it; she didn’t want to admit that she was too afraid to let anyone in, so she even kept her closest friends at arm’s length in order to protect herself. “I told you about my issues with Serah, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, after I practically forced it out of you,” Fang countered, looking at her incredulously, because it probably was rather ridiculous that she found that to be a viable excuse when it was anything but. Leaning back in her chair, she looked at her friend and continued, “Look, you can pretend all you want that you’re not goin’ through shit right now, pretend that you’re alright cause it makes you feel stronger; that’s your business, yeah? But this shit with us, you gotta talk about that. I’m not tryin’ to make you feel uncomfortable, Light; I’m just tryin’ to help. And if I’m not, if this thing we’re doing is just makin’ you feel weird, then you gotta tell me. I’m not gonna do this if you don’t want me to.”

Lightning pursed her lips, looking down at her food. She knew Fang was right; that if she couldn’t talk to her about anything, then this thing was going to fall apart at the seams. Still, talking had never been Lighting’s strong suit, and so, once again, she said nothing, because she didn’t know how to start.

Fang, however, seemed to know exactly where to start. “Why’d you run out on me yesterday?”

Lightning exhaled a long breath, pushing the hair back from her eyes as she uncrossed her arms, shifted her position, and then crossed them back over her chest as she tried to settle back into her chair. She meant the movement to look natural, but she knew it was obvious that she was just fidgeting. However, she still shrugged noncommittally and looked away as she answered, “I thought you knew why.”

“Cause you liked it?” Fang asked, eyebrows rising. “Gotta be more to it than that.”

Lightning was silent for a long moment, shifting uncomfortably in her seat once more as she tried to force herself to be honest for once; to admit that she didn’t have everything under control, when her entire life had always been built around routine and order. “I took it too far,” Lightning responded finally, softly, sounding ashamed of herself. “You made me—” But she didn’t want to admit exactly how turned on Fang actually made her, so she just shook her head and repeated, “I took it too far. I felt like I was cheating on Serah.”

“I made you what?” Fang asked, apparently not about to let that slip go by. “Because like you said, that next step was all you; so I don’t want you blamin’ me for that. I’ll take responsibility for a lot, cause I know this entire thing was partially my idea, but I’m not claiming that one as mine; you probably already got enough to be pissed at me about anyway.”

“I’m not angry with you,” Lightning responded, sounding exasperated as she finally caught her gaze. “You and Vanille are… you’re irritating and you’re pushy, but Serah and I know you’re just trying to help. And we… we appreciate it, Fang. Okay? We do.”

“So then what were you on about when you said I ‘made’ you do something?”

Lightning exhaled a frustrated sigh as she tangled her fingers in her hair and immediately stood up from her chair. Fang looked like she was about to start lecturing her about her instinctual need to run away from emotional things that she couldn’t handle, but words were falling from Lightning’s lips anyway as she paced in place. “You didn’t make me do _something_ , Fang; you made—“ Lightning sighed heavily, shaking out the tension in her hands, “You made me feel…”

“Uncomfortable?”

Lightning shook her head, because it wasn’t that; not really. Not at first. And honestly, in the end, the only person that made her feel uncomfortable was herself, and her own actions. 

“Come on, Light, you gotta give me something here; I swear it’s like pullin’ teeth with you sometimes,” Fang responded, sounding exasperated. “The uncomfortable guess; am I hot or cold?”

“If you were cold we wouldn’t have had this problem,” Lightning muttered, before swiping a piece of her toast off of her plate and taking a bite. In her peripheral she could see Fang’s eyebrows rise, before she suddenly seemed to understand and a slow, cocky smirk crossed her face as she folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair.

“Think I’m hot, do ya?”

Lightning refused to dignify that with an answer, instead choosing to flip her off. It was the only language Fang understood anyway.

The huntress chuckled, allowing herself to enjoy that information for a moment before she decided that being a good friend was probably more of a priority right now than gloating. “Alright, all joke’s aside, gettin’ turned on when you kiss someone isn’t the end of the world. Maybe we took it a little further than we should’ve, but it was the first time, y’know? Mistakes happen. You love Serah, and that’s all that matters here.”

Lightning pursed her lips, her back turned towards Fang so that the woman couldn’t see that this conversation was making her cheeks flush in embarrassment. She wasn’t exactly used to being open with these kinds of topics. “I still felt like I betrayed her.”

“She gave you _permission_ , Light. So until you’re three fingers deep in my cunt in some shameful back alleyway, I’d say you’re doin’ alright.”

Lightning whipped around, looking absolutely scandalized by the woman’s vulgar choice of wording. Not that she was at all surprised, but regardless; just hearing something like that said out loud made her feel… dirty. “ _Fang!_ ”

“What?” Fang asked, before she rolled her eyes at Lightning’s delicate disposition and revised, “Fine; until we’re making sweet, _sweet_ love atop a bed of bloody fucking rose petals, I think you’re fine. Better?”

Lightning rolled her eyes; she didn’t know why she even bothered. 

Fang leaned her elbows on the table however, looking up at her friend as she allowed herself to get a little more serious. “Hey,” she implored, knowing it would take a little more than some crude mention of sex to get Lightning to feel better; to allow her to realize that her reaction to all of this was normal. “Look, you mentioned that I get your girly bits all tingly, which I’m sure made you die a little inside to admit; so I guess it’s only fair that I tell you something too. Secret for secret, yeah?”

Lightning shot her a glare at the ‘tingly girly bits’ part, but Fang just raised her eyebrows in expectation of an answer, and Lightning exhaled a long sigh as she relented, “Fine. What’s your big secret?”

Fang chuckled as she stood up from the chair. “Yeah, right; if you want somethin’ big you’re gonna have to give me more than the fact that your vagina’s in perfectly good working condition.” Lightning, once again, looked completely scandalized by the fact that Fang felt the need to carelessly mention _any_ part of her anatomy, but Fang just smirked and continued, “So the most you’re gettin’ here is something on the same level. You ready?”

Lightning shot her an exasperated look as she crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen wall. “Don’t draw it out.”

Fang ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek, but it was obvious that it wasn’t meant to be sexual in any way; if Lightning was reading her right, it was almost like she was stalling for a second. But finally the brunette ran her fingers through her hair and admitted, “Okay, so… y’know how I told you Vanille and I do shit like this all the time?” Lightning nodded, and after a long moment’s pause Fang tentatively revealed, “Well… we don’t.”

Lightning’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. If they had never done this before, then what they were doing right now, everything, it was just—it was playing with _fire,_ and there was no way this could ever end well.

“No, I mean like—yeah, we’ve fucked other people together; I didn’t mean that we’re actually monogamous, because we’re not,” Fang tried to backtrack, realizing that she wasn’t explaining this very well. “We’ve just never done it with people we’re… close with, y’know? And not like I’m sayin’ we’re gonna fuck you guys, cause we know that’s not in the cards, but the whole thing about you freakin’ out cause you felt something you thought you weren’t supposed to? All I’m sayin’ is that you’re not the only one that got a little worried about that.”

Instead of comforting her, as Lightning assumed Fang was trying to do with that little tirade, instead the revelation caused the soldier to take a full step backwards from Fang. “What do you mean, you felt something you shouldn’t have?”

“Oh relax, Light; I’m not trying to tell you I’m love with you,” Fang responded, sounding exasperated by just the mere theory of it; which, okay, helped Lightning relax a little. She was certain she wouldn’t have been able to emotional handle something of that caliber right now. “All I’m saying is, kissin’ someone you’re already _that_ close to? It’s gonna feel weird at first, because it’s not just that you like how the other person looks; you like the rest of them too. Well,” she amended after a moment, before concluding with a smirked, “ _Most_ of the rest of them anyway. That cork in your arse has seriously got to go.”

Lightning just stared at her, unamused. “If you think I won’t throw the rest of this plate of food at you, you’re dead wrong.”

Fang chuckled, but pushed herself off the wall and approached her. “You see what I’m saying though? The first time, it’s gonna blur the line a little bit, but eventually you’ll figure out what side you land on and then it’ll be fine.”

“Unless we land on the wrong side.”

Fang’s brow rose, apparently surprised that Lightning would ever entertain the idea that she might end up somewhere that she’s not morally comfortable with. And it wasn’t as though she wanted to consider it, or that she even believed that she would, but it was still a concern regardless, and shouldn’t be dismissed even if there’s a miniscule chance that it could even happen.

“Well if we land on the wrong side, then just take comfort in the fact that we probably won’t have to live very long with our decision; because the two of us together?” Fang told her with a short laugh, gesturing at the space between them. “It’ll probably be a race to see who kills the other first.”

Lightning’s lips quirked in amusement, because Fang wasn’t wrong; they might make good friends, but in a romantic capacity? They’d be far more invested, and therefore would probably end up driving one another insane. And that in and of itself made Lightning feel a little better about the situation, because if they both were aware of that, then maybe they would never let things get that confusing between them.

“Probably, but you and I both know that I’d win,” Lightning told her with a self-assured smirk, walking right past Fang as she moved to pick up her half-empty plate of food. But before she could bring it to the sink, Fang of course took that as a challenge, and laughed, “Yeah, right,” as she quickly moved, trying to prove her point by pinning Lightning against the wall.

The quick movement, of course, caused the plate of food to be knocked out of Lightning’s hands, scattering the remnants of it across the floor before the soldier blocked her, ducked, and then spun around to come at her from below. Fang apparently didn’t think that Lightning would be prepared enough to react though, and ultimately that was her downfall as she was forcefully pinned against the wall herself, Lightning’s forearm pressed across her collar bone.

“— _Damn._ ”

Lightning’s smirk widened.

“Alright, I’ll give ya that one,” Fang conceded, not one to be a sore loser. She nodded her head in recognition of Lightning’s win and the solider let her go, taking a couple steps backwards. “Two outta three though; out in the yard, loser has to clean up all the shit you spilled.”

Lightning scoffed at the sense of blame that Fang failed to rest on her shoulders. “You’re the one that knocked it out of my hands. I keep telling you not to do this indoors.”

“Fine, that _we_ spilled,” Fang conceded, before she allowed her eyebrow to cock curiously in the other woman’s direction. “You in?”

She grinned mischievously, enticingly, and Lightning pursed her lips in an attempt to not return the gesture, never one to show how she truly felt about anything. But it did seem like a fun idea; it had been ages since she and Fang had _properly_ sparred. With everything that had been going on since they came to the New World, Lightning had done nothing else but become more and more withdrawn. She had felt weak, and without a fight to prove her strength; to herself, to others, it was causing her to lose a part of herself that she had adapted as her own ever since she first joined the Guardian Corps. Maybe if she got that back, maybe if she exercised the part of herself that she feared she had lost, she might finally start to feel a little more normal.

“Fine,” she conceded, making careful effort to make it seem like she was just obliging Fang for her own amusement, and not because she really wanted to do it. “But if you’re just using this as an excuse to kiss me again, I’ll punch you square in the jaw.”

Fang laughed, apparently not at all fazed by the threat. “Three days, Light,” she reminded her, before suddenly a hand was around one of her wrists, she was pulled against a soft body, and lips were sealed against her own. It was so quick that Lightning barely had time to react before Fang broke the kiss and finished pointedly with, “I don’t need an excuse, because we both know you’re gonna need all the practice you can get. Which, speaking of…” She paused for a second, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when it didn’t – (why didn’t it, again?) – Fang finally nodded in acknowledgment and continued, “Good job; you didn’t hit me this time. A-plus.”

Lightning rolled her eyes and, out of spite, used her open palm to hit the huntress’ shoulder as she pulled away from her. Fang chuckled. “Ah, see, now you bumped it down to a C-minus. Should’ve waited to hit me in the yard.”

“Shut up; just go,” Lightning grumbled, forcefully pushing a still chuckling Fang out the back door. The woman could tease and patronize her all she wanted, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t going to be _her_ that cleaned up that mess in the kitchen.

That was for damn sure.

**TBC…**


	5. V

**CHAPTER V**

“Why is there food all over the kitchen floor?!”

Lightning turned her head to look at her sister, but that brief distraction nearly cost her as Fang’s fist barely avoided colliding with her head. “Shit,” she swore under her breath, instinctively leaning backwards to go beyond the woman’s reach. Fang grinned as Lightning took a few steps back in order to backflip far enough away so that answering her sister wouldn’t cost her the fight, but as they began to circle one another as they searched for another opening to attack, it was Fang who spoke.

“Hold on a second, yeah? We’re deciding who’s cleanin’ it up right now. Won’t take long; your sister can’t hold out much longer.”

Lightning scoffed at that claim, because she wasn’t nearly close to having enough, but Serah just shot them both an exasperated look and exclaimed, “Oh, for Etro’s sake,” as she collapsed in one of the lawn chairs, putting down her many shopping bags.

“Ohhh,” Vanille murmured appreciatively as she wandered into the backyard to see her girlfriend and Lightning sparring. “This is pretty.”

Lighting shot the girl a disbelieving look, not appreciating being objectified. To be fair though, she and Fang had been going at it for quite a while. The brunette had won the second round fairly quickly, but this third one had them both pulling out all the stops, refusing to lose to the other. Their bodies were shimmering with sweat under the unusually warm morning sunlight, and Fang had tied her sari around her waist in order to not have the fabric stick to her. Lightning had also stripped herself of her shirt, finding that the oversized garment got in the way of her movements, and now she was circling Fang in just a pair of boy shorts and a sports bra. Thankfully their property had a large fence surrounding it in order to block anyone’s wandering eyes, although that had been mostly for her and Serah’s benefit. Now, however, it at least prevented other people from seeing the two women sweaty, half naked, and fighting, which Lightning was thankful for.

If only it prevented Vanille from looking as though she were watching a live porn show though, because the way she was staring at them both was utterly distracting, not to mention a little embarrassing. “Tell her to stop,” Lightning demanded of Fang, because she couldn’t concentrate when she knew she was being looked at like a piece of meat. Fang just chuckled though, not about to give Lightning any breaks that would put her at an advantage.

“Tell her yourself.”

“ _Stop,_ ” she demanded to Vanille, but her brief reprieve from paying attention to Fang caused her to land flat on her back as she was a second and a half too late at avoiding a leg sweep. The hard landing caused her to exhale a hard, “Oof!” as it momentarily knocked the wind out of her. She could hear Vanille giggle as Fang tried to get down to pin her, but she only managed one arm before Lightning used her other to elbow the other woman in the sternum. It caused the huntress’ grip to loosen and Lightning quickly rolled away, briefly seeing Vanille sit on the edge of her sister’s lawn chair as she leaned in and whispered something in her ear that caused Serah to turn about twelve different shades of red.

“Claire, your—your bra,” Serah stumbled, looking embarrassed either for her, or from whatever crude thing Vanille must have whispered to her. Lightning looked down, noticing that her last landing on the ground caused one of her breasts to nearly pop out of its confines.

It probably would have been a great advantage on her part, should she have chosen to use it. Fang had completely stopped her movements, just staring at her nipple that was half exposed, and it would have been a good time to just catch her off guard and get it over with, but instead Lightning flushed in embarrassment and rushed to cover it.

“No, don’t do that,” Vanille whined, which caused Lightning to shoot her a furious glare and Serah to smack the girl’s thigh in reprimand, looking a little scandalized by Vanille’s blatant objectification of her sister. Vanille just held up her hands though, feigning innocence as she explained, “I’m just saying, this would be a _lot_ more fun to watch if you both were naked. Don’t you think, Serah?” The girl in question’s cheeks flushed again, and before she even had a chance to answer Vanille grinned, taking that as a yes. “Serah agrees.”

“I didn’t say that!”

Fang grinned, apparently finding the idea as attractive as her girlfriend. Damnit, Lightning really was going to kill her if this entire thing was just some long term plan in order to get them both into bed with them. She had only briefly considered that before, but with them _both_ sexually objectifying them lately, Lightning was starting to get a little more suspicious. Although to be fair, that might just be a part of their personalities; the lines have been blurred, and now they’re even more forward than usual. 

“That can be arranged, y’know.”

“I will _murder_ you,” Lightning warned, pointing at her dangerously. Fang just laughed though before she lunged at her again, apparently just trying to get a rise out of her to catch her off guard. Maybe that’s what Vanille was doing too, now that Lightning thought about; causing distractions in order for Fang to win. 

Damn them.

They both landed a few blows, but neither of them were holding the upper hand for too long. Fang was breathing heavily with a wicked grin etched across her features, but the only thing that kept drawing Lightning’s attention was the woman’s heaving breasts as she circled her. They looked like they were about to spill out of the small top that she was wearing, and of course Lightning tried to ignore it, but every so often her gaze would slip downwards again and Fang would instantly use the distraction to her advantage. 

Lightning was on her back again before she knew it, swearing under her breath as Fang chuckled and breathed, low enough so only Lightning could hear it, “Maybe you should stop starin’ at my tits then.” 

Lightning growled in response, irritated by the blatant observation, before she bent her elbows, placed her forearms in between Fang’s on either side of her, and pushed outwards with all of her strength, forcing the woman to lose her balance and fall straight on top of her. The position that Fang landed in caused their lips to only be a fraction of an inch away from the other’s, and it momentarily caused Lightning to lose her breath before she silently berated herself to just _focus_ , and managed to get her bearings before the other woman in order to roll them over to switch their positions.

“Enjoying yourself?” Fang purred as Lightning pinned her, sounding so deviously sexual all of a sudden that it caused an abrupt gush of wetness to coat the soldier’s boy shorts. Her tongue snaked out to briefly wet her bottom lip, before she successfully found a way to divert Lightning’s attention and finished, “Because _they_ are.”

Lightning’s head snapped towards her sister and Vanille, who were now sharing the small lawn chair, practically half on top of one another. Vanille’s nails were idly tracing patterns on Serah’s thigh as she continued to whisper something in her ear that had her sister flushed, and the look of arousal on Serah’s face shocked Lightning so badly that she didn’t even know how to react. Logically, she should be jealous, angry, and yet there wasn’t much time to process any of her emotions as Fang used the diversion to flip them over once again, topping her.

“Relax, she’s just getting her ready for you,” Fang breathed, her fingers curling around Lightning’s wrists as she pinned her to the ground. “She won’t touch her, I promise. Besides, this way neither of you will feel bad about getting turned on by this, because you’re both at fault.”

“Someone’s full of themselves,” Lightning snapped defensively, because suddenly she felt like she was in the middle of a game that she hadn’t even realized she had been playing, and Fang knew all her cards. It was disorienting, it was infuriating, and Lightning wanted nothing more than to punch her in the face, because at the end of the day, it was still making her center throb and gush and _need._

Fang just smirked at the outright lie though, and as she leaned down she pressed her lips to Lightning’s ear and countered hotly, “Oh yeah? Then why can I smell you right now?”

Lightning just exhaled a loud sound of frustration as she used all of her strength to get herself out of Fang’s hold. It wasn’t enough though, as the woman’s body weight was still firmly on top of her, and Fang was too quick to center her balance before Lightning could throw her off. Within seconds she was pinned again, and Lightning shouted something angry at her that was barely even a word, just more of a sound. Fang chuckled.

“You give?”

“You wish.”

Fang smirked, feigning an adjustment as she blatantly rubbed herself on Lightning’s thigh. Through the thin fabric Lightning could feel how wet the other woman was, and she closed her eyes and banged her head heavily against the ground as she tried to force herself not to think about doing things that she should never be imagining doing with someone other than Serah. 

“Tell you what,” Fang drawled, knowing Lightning was at a disadvantage. “If you admit I won, then I’ll not only let you go so that you can exercise all your dirty little aggressions out on Serah’s body, but I’ll even clean the kitchen for you.”

Lightning opened her eyes at that, her breathing labored as she stared at the woman on top of her. “…Why?” she asked suspiciously, because wasn’t the whole point of winning so that they _wouldn’t_ have to clean the kitchen? Although why she was looking a gift horse in the mouth right now, she had no idea.

Maker, she just needed to—she needed to go, away from Fang, away from this situation, because her head was clouding and her clit was throbbing and she was half-afraid that if she continued to do this with her, then she’d do something that both herself and Serah would never forgive her for.

Fang only winked at her though. “Call it a Christmas present.”

“Fine,” Lightning agreed without hesitation, desperation tingeing her tone. “Fine, you win— get off me.” She smacked Fang’s arms impatiently as the woman climbed off of her, encouraging her to do it faster. 

Fang held out her hand to help Lightning up, but the woman ignored it as she rolled backwards, placed her palms on the ground, and jumped up herself. She was breathing heavily, her face and chest flushed a deep crimson as she glanced over at the two women on the chair. Serah looked torn between wanting to rip off her sisters clothes or apologize for whatever the hell they all just participated in together, and Lightning, who couldn’t really handle how she was feeling, rushed by them instead with the excuse, “I need to shower,” as she headed back into the house.

“Light!” Serah called out after her, trying to push Vanille off of her so she could get out of the chair. “Light—wait!”

But Lightning didn’t wait. She took the stairs two at a time, stripping her clothing off in the hallway before she headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Within moments she had the water running and she got in, not knowing if she needed the water to cool her down, or to wash off the remnants of something she couldn’t even begin to understand. 

Closing her eyes as she stepped under the spray, Lightning ran her hands over her face and exhaled a loud groan. What the hell were they doing? What the hell did they _just_ do? Nothing about this screamed normal in any way, but then again, what would someone who fucks their own sister know of normal? Still, they were just supposed to pretend with Vanille and Fang, not _actually_ get turned on by them; and after Fang had made this big speech this morning about the lines being blurred, but ultimately knowing what side they would fall on, Lightning couldn’t understand why she would encourage this sort of thing. Didn’t she realize that this made it worse?

Etro, they were just supposed to spar. How the hell did it get so entirely out of hand?

The bathroom door opened then, and Lightning nearly jumped out of her own skin until she saw the faint outline of her sister through the blurry shower curtain. Serah didn’t say anything though, she just stood there for a long moment before she finally closed the door behind her, pulled her shirt up over her head, and dropped the rest of her clothes on the ground before approaching her. 

“Serah…” Lightning warned, because she knew exactly what her sister was about to do, and if she did that, if _they_ did that, then it would no doubt make everything that much worse. But Serah just opened the shower curtain and stepped in with her, and Lightning’s breathing shallowed as her sister’s petite form was presented before her eyes. 

“This is a bad idea,” she tried, but the words were barely above a whisper, choked out with uncertainty and lust, and all Serah said in response was a rather accepting defeat of, “I know,” before capturing her lips in a bruising kiss, pressing Lightning’s back against the cool surface of the tiles. Lightning gasped, her whole body beginning to thrum with anticipation as she began to feel herself lose whatever battle it was that she was supposed to be fighting.

Her head was clouded, her thighs were soaked, and her sister was naked and kissing her and, Etro, she hated the two women downstairs with every fiber of her being for doing this to them, for confusing them and manipulating them, but Serah was being aggressive, digging her nails into her skin and demanding the attention her sister had been previously showing Fang, and it felt so good that Lightning didn’t know how to stop. She didn’t even know how to _want_ to stop.

Fingers slid through slickened folds, and Lightning exhaled a hard breath as Serah forced her head to the side with her other hand, and began marking her neck with a pleasure that almost bordered on painful. Lightning’s hand slammed against the wall behind her as Serah put pressure on her clit, teeth digging into the flesh of her skin before she nipped roughly at her ear and demanded, “ _Beg._ ”

“Please,” Lightning breathed without thought, tangling her fingers in her sister’s hair as she allowed her head to bang lightly against the tile behind her, pressing her hips forwards and into her hand. “Please, Serah, I’m—I’m sorry…”

Because she knew what this was; this was jealousy, this was furious jealousy mixed with lust and a little anger towards herself for having enjoyed watching it all, and Lightning felt like it was her fault. She hated herself for doing this to Serah, but she hated herself even more because a part of her… a part of her enjoyed it; a part of her loved that she was getting her sister all riled up, because she was reaping the benefits of it. 

Maker, she was such a terrible person.

“Don’t be sorry,” Serah breathed, her words coming out labored, aggressive as she increased the speed of her fingers against her sister’s clit. Lightning choked back a sound of pleasure and closed her eyes, fingers digging into Serah’s bicep as the girl continued, “Just remember—remember who does this to you, Claire. _Remember who makes you feel like this._ ”

Lightning quickly nodded before she bit back a loud gasp, and if Serah hadn’t been pressed up against her, she probably wouldn’t have heard the girl’s whispered conclusion of, “Remind _me_ who makes me feel like this…”

Lightning’s eyes snapped open.

An overwhelming sense of jealousy, of determination and possession washed through her, and suddenly Serah was forced off of her, backed roughly into the far wall of the shower as Lightning pinned her, kissing her furiously as she forced her legs apart with her knee. “I’ll kill them,” she growled against her sister’s lips, because it was one thing when Serah was jealous of her and Fang, but now it was her on the receiving end of those terrible feelings, and she hated that. It was absolutely hypocritical, but Lightning couldn’t help it; she wanted this to be one sided.

Serah shook her head. “It’s our fault,” she breathed, a harsh reminder as fingernails traced patterns down Lightning’s neck, her shoulders, her chest. “They can’t make us like it. It’s our fault. Just…” Grasping her sister’s wrist in her hand, Serah forced Lightning between her legs and begged against her lips, “Just fuck me. Forget them and just fuck me— _please._ ”

Serah was dripping, and Lightning hated that she had no idea if it was because of her, because of what she was doing with Fang in front of her, or what Vanille had been whispering in her ear during it all. Probably a combination of all three, and Lightning had no idea how to feel about that; all she knew in that moment was that regardless of how it started, she was sure as hell going to be the one to finish it.

“Hold onto the towel rack,” Lightning instructed, a courtesy warning before she used her left hand to hoist Serah’s thigh towards her body, the abrupt movement almost causing the girl to lose her balance before she did as Lightning instructed, and held onto the metal towel rack that was fastened to the wall above her head. Lightning slipped her arm beneath the leg to keep it raised at the same moment that she entered Serah with two fingers, and the rough movement caused a needy moan to rip from the back of her sister’s throat as her muscles contracted, drawing Lightning in deeper. 

The water from the showerhead was beating against the porcelain at their feet, all but drowning out anything other than the sound of Serah’s labored breaths and wanton moans as Lightning furiously fucked her without any pretense or foreplay. But eventually Lightning began to hear sounds other than the shower, other than her sister, and when she realized what they were she swore and let Serah’s leg go so she could punch the shower wall.

It was Fang and Vanille, or more accurately _Fang_ and her loud mouth as Vanille fucked her in, what were they above right now, the kitchen? Oh, she was going to kill them. Because she couldn’t—she couldn’t fuck her sister while they were doing that downstairs; they’d both hear it and they’d think about it and—

And Serah didn’t care. “No, don’t stop,” she begged desperately, the abrupt cease of movement when she had been getting close taking priority over the two women downstairs tainting this moment even more for them. Grasping her sister’s face in her hands, she breathed, “Please,” against her lips before she gently nipped at them, her gaze fluttering from Lightning’s lips to her eyes. “Fuck me until I scream. Fuck me until I drown them out. Please, Lightning… prove to them that you’re better for me.”

It was such a blatant manipulation, feeding on Lightning’s jealousy and competitive nature in order to produce the reaction that she desired. Lightning knew she should be angry with her for it, because that was _beyond_ low, and yet instead she played right into her sister’s hands, growling furiously as she pinned Serah against the wall and slipped her fingers back inside of her. 

She didn’t know why—she didn’t know why she couldn’t just tell Serah that she couldn’t use them like that, that she _shouldn’t_ use them like that. Using the two women downstairs just to make the other jealous was probably devastatingly unhealthy, but there was a type of high associated with it; with knowing you could make someone need to possess you, to claim you, because they love and need you more fiercely than anyone else in the world. Lightning felt it when Serah first stepped into the shower, and now it was Serah’s turn to immerse herself in it.

And Maker, she loved it. She was crying out as she clawed at the skin of Lightning’s back, the sound of it mixing with Fang’s muffled shouts through the floorboards. Hearing the two of them caused Lightning’s body to flush with deep arousal, her center clenching with need as she buried her face in her sister’s neck. She loved it. She hated it; hated it because she didn’t know if it was from Fang or Serah or both, yet loved it for the feeling it gave her, because it was intense and raw and desperate.

So she fucked her harder, caused Serah to get louder, because she knew she shouldn’t like hearing Fang get off at the same time she was fucking her sister, and she needed the girl to drown her out. Serah was swearing, begging and moaning as she held onto Lightning for dear life, the force of the woman’s thrusts causing her entire body to be repeatedly slammed against the wall. 

“Yes, yes!” Serah shouted, grasping onto her sister’s face as she encouraged Lightning to kiss and bite on the thumb that was resting against the corner of her mouth. Their eyes connected as Lightning slowly ran her tongue over the curvature of it, and Serah groaned appreciatively before she moved her hand and collided their lips together. “Fuck,” she breathed between kisses, hips bucking desperately against the hand that was inside of her. “Claire… Claire, I’m so close…”

Lightning twisted her fingers inside of her then, curling them upwards as she began to give her sister’s g-spot constant attention, and it wasn’t long afterwards that Serah screamed, slamming her hand against the wall as her muscles began to contract around Lightning’s fingers. Slumping her full weight against the wall, Serah held her sister to her as she struggled to find her breath, and suddenly Lightning could hear them again; Fang and Vanille, still fucking each other all over the goddamn kitchen.

Lightning didn’t want to enjoy the sounds of it, but her clit was aching and her entire body felt like it was on fire, still fueled with a jealous rage and an insatiable lust that caused her hand to get lost between her own thighs. She thought it would take Serah a minute to get her bearings, and she just—she just couldn’t wait. She felt like she was going to pop.

But Serah felt her move and snatched the sister’s wrist just before it arrived at its destination. “Don’t you dare,” she warned, her voice suddenly becoming a dangerous decibel. “I decide when you get off, Claire; not you, not—not _them…_ ” Serah suddenly went from looking sated to looking jealous and determined; determined to remind Lightning of who it was who shares her bed, determined to be better than anyone else who might decide they want a taste. It was an incredibly sexy look on her, and Lightning hated herself for thinking that. Placing her hand on her sister’s chest, Serah encouraged her backwards a few steps as she continued, “Do you understand me?”

“…Yes.”

“Louder.”

“Yes, I understand!” Lightning exclaimed, her cheeks tingeing pink with embarrassment at her submissive compliance. Usually they didn’t do things like this, but today was apparently a day for firsts, and something had gotten into Serah that made her stand taller, have more confidence, and take what it was that she wanted without precedence. 

It was… insanely attractive, and Lightning felt her breathing shallow as Serah closed the distance between them, lightly tracing the edge of her sister’s lips with the pads of her fingers before she caught her gaze and breathed, “Good…” Her lips curled then, this wickedly devious little grin as she ran her fingertips just gently over her sister’s wet form. “Now touch yourself.”

“What?” Lightning asked breathlessly, not understanding. Didn’t Serah just tell her not to do that?

But Serah didn’t elaborate on her decision, only telling her firmly, “Do as I say.” So Lightning obliged her, too turned on to really care about her motivations right then. Slipping a hand between their bodies, she began running her fingers through her folds, pressing down on her clit. Serah didn’t look down though, didn’t watch what she was doing to herself; instead she continued to hold eye contact with her until Lightning began to increase the pace against her sex, and she was forced to gasp and close her eyes at the feeling of it.

“No,” Serah demanded loudly, digging her fingertips into her sister’s hip. “No, Claire, you look at me when you fuck yourself; don’t you dare take your eyes off of me.”

Lightning immediately opened her eyes, understanding now why Serah was doing this; she needed Lightning to associate masturbation with her, despite anything else going on, despite whatever other sounds she might be hearing. This… _this_ was hers, and Serah was making sure that she knew it. So Lightning tried, she desperately tried to keep her eyes open the entire time, despite the increasing difficulty the longer she pleasured herself.

But just as she was getting close, suddenly Serah told her, “Stop.” Lightning exhaled a frustrated whine at that, feeling like she was being driven insane. She did as she was told though, and Serah immediately snatched her wrist, bringing the hand that she was just using to her lips as she began to trace each finger with her tongue. 

Lightning groaned at the sight, her insides clenching with need as she begged, “Serah, please…”

“Say my name again,” Serah demanded, releasing Lightning’s hand before she placed her hand on her chest, and pushed her sister firmly against the wall. “Keep saying it,” she told her as she began to run her nails over her skin, moving downwards until she was crouched between her thighs. “I don’t want you to stop until I’m finished with you.”

“Serah,” Lightning groaned as her sister spread her to her hungry gaze. A shudder of anticipation ran down her spine just before Serah allowed her one, long lick down her center, and Lightning tangled her fingers in her own hair as she banged her head against the wall and breathed appreciatively, “ _Serah…_ ”

Serah got to work then, getting her off with her mouth as Lightning moaned and cried and begged with her mantra of, _“Serah, Serah, Serah.”_ She couldn’t hear Fang and Vanille anymore, but whether that was because they were done or that she was so entirely lost in her sister, she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter though, because Serah had always known how to get her off embarrassingly quickly and it wasn’t long before she was digging her nails into her sister’s scalp, pitching forward from the force of her orgasm. 

Not that that stopped Serah though.

She apparently had made it her mission to fuck Lightning until she couldn’t walk, couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. And that was exactly what she did, until Lightning was collapsed in the base of the shower, the water beating against her back as Serah looked down at her with a triumphant expression on her face. 

She had won.

[x]

It was some time before they made their way back downstairs, and when they finally did they were greeted by the smirking expressions of their roommates, looking far too smug about what they had caused. And Lightning didn’t know if it was rational or not, considering their little stunt did provide her with some of the best sex she had ever had, but just the _look_ on Fang’s face irritated her to no end, and so she didn’t say anything at all as she approached her.

Instead, she just clocked her right in the fucking jaw.

Vanille squeaked, “Oh!” as she covered her mouth with her hands at the same time Serah reprimanded, “Lightning!” but Fang just smirked as she took a few steps back and rubbed her jaw, still looking so irritating… _victorious._

“You’re welcome.”

That caused something in Lightning to snap, and she immediately threw the huntress up against a wall as she pressed her forearm over the other woman’s throat; not enough to cause her trouble breathing, but enough to get her point across. “What the hell are you trying to do?!” she shouted at her, furious that within twenty four hours she felt like her entire life was being flipped upside down.

“Lightning, stop!” Serah tried, but Lightning ignored her and just kept glaring at Fang’s smirking face. Apparently, she found this hilarious.

“I was _trying_ to get you laid; and seeing as I succeeded, I’m pretty sure you should be thanking me for it, not exercising your never-ending aggression out on my throat.”

Lightning growled dangerously. “Don’t screw with me, Fang. You claim you’re trying to help us, and then you purposely make us jealous? What the hell is wrong with you; that’s not helping _anything!_ ”

Fang just shot her a disbelieving look as she cocked her head to the side. “Pretty sure the sex you just had begs to differ, Sunshine.” It was Lightning’s turn to look disbelieving then, and Fang continued, “What? Don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it; that you didn’t get off on Serah angrily claiming you, that _you_ didn’t love proving to her that no one else could ever make her feel the way that you do.”

Lightning said nothing, her glare faltering as the truth in those words rang loudly in her ears. Maybe—maybe she did enjoy it, but that didn’t mean that it was alright. That didn’t mean that it was healthy or sane, and that certainly didn’t mean that they should _create_ situations like that in order to provoke jealousy in one another.

Apparently, however, Fang and Vanille readily disagreed with that assessment. “We like to do it to each other sometimes,” Vanille chimed in, looking at the two women against the wall. She smiled softly and told Lightning, “It’s fun.”

But it was Serah who’s eyes widened at that statement. “You used us,” she realized, and those words caused Lightning’s eyes to flash as she put pressure on Fang’s throat in retaliation.

“Hey, hey, hey—alright!” Fang exclaimed, holding her hands up in surrender to try to get Lightning to stop. She probably easily could have gotten out of this on her own, but seeing as Fang figured she was in the wrong, she still allowed Lightning to pin her there. “Alright,” she conceded. “We… _may_ have used you a little bit. But it’s not like you guys didn’t reap the benefits from it too, so just—just _chill_ with the violence for a bit, yeah?”

“You two are unbelievable,” Lightning responded, looking at them both incredulously as she stepped away from Fang, finally letting the woman go. “I can’t believe you think this is _fun._ ”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Fang countered. “Vanille and I know that no matter how much we may want another person, we’re always going to want each other more. We’re forever, her and I, and sometimes it’s fun to… _viciously remind each other_ of why that is. Look,” she continued, glancing between the two sisters, “We’re sorry if it fucked you guys up; I just figured that you both would be on the same page – that you’d know you were each other’s forever, and that it wouldn’t become this huge thing between you two. If I was wrong though…”

“Shut up,” Lightning interrupted, completely frustrated with the woman in front of her, because Fang just had this way of always being right even when Lightning was certain she should be wrong. “I hate when you do that thing where you talk; it makes me want to throttle you.”

Fang smirked, knowing that she won that round. 

“I know you guys are mad, but I think it can help,” Vanille said, apparently trying to help Fang spin this into something positive. Lightning was irritated that it was sort of working, because she was fairly certain she was being manipulated. “You know how people wear rubber bands on their wrists, and snap them when they’re about to do something bad, so that they’ll associate the pain with whatever it is?”

No, but Lightning would take her word for it.

“It’s like that, only in reverse; because instead of keeping you from doing it, it’ll let you do it,” Vanille explained, even though it didn’t make a lick of sense to Lightning at all. Noting the look of confusion on her face, Vanille continued, “You get jealous when you see us with the other person, and that’s bad, right? But what if it’s not; what if when you get jealous you remember the great sex you’ll have afterwards. Then it’s not so bad, right? Then it might be okay?”

Lightning pursed her lips into a thin line, refusing to dignify that with an answer. Mostly because she wasn’t sure what the answer even was, and she hated that. She hated how Fang and Vanille could twist everything around and make it sound okay when it just—it shouldn’t be. 

It didn’t matter though, because Serah was the one who answered. “…Yeah.”

Lightning whipped around to face her, a disbelieving expression plastered on her face. 

“This is messed up,” Serah admitted with a small sigh. “This is _beyond_ messed up, and I’m worried that it might get worse but… but what other choice do we really have? We need this, Lightning; we need them to look normal to the outside world. And they’re… they’re giving up the world knowing about them, living in secret as well, and essentially giving us their lives just to make us happy. If all they need is to use us to get them jealous from time to time… then maybe we should just let them do it.”

“Besides,” Serah continued, shrugging lightly as she leaned against the back of the couch. “Everything always gets easier over time, doesn’t it? No matter what it is. Eventually, we’ll adapt.”

Fang pointed at her approvingly, yet addressed Lightning. “See?”

“Shut up,” Lightning responded, sounding exasperated by just the sound of the other woman’s voice. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Why…?”

“I don’t know, I just am,” Lightning grumbled, not really caring that she didn’t have an excuse right now; right now, Fang’s entire being just irritated her, mostly because she hated when the woman won. She hated that she came down here, completely set on thinking all of this was wrong and that they used and manipulated them, and yet for some reason now thinks that it might be okay that they did. Serah’s little speech helped, as she was right; they did owe them for this. But still.

Lightning hated being wrong, and she was still certain that all of this was going to crash and burn.

Fang held up her hands in surrender though, realizing Lightning’s grumpiness would have to dissipate on its own. “Fine, me and Vanille need to clean the kitchen anyway.”

“I thought you already did that,” Serah responded, and Fang smirked as she took her girlfriend’s hand in her own and led her around the corner.

“Nah, we just made it worse.” She shot her a wink and then she and Vanille were gone, leaving the two Farron sisters alone in the living room. 

Serah glanced up at Lightning, who exhaled a long breath and moved to her sister’s side, leaning against the back of the couch as she crossed her arms over her chest. “They’re manipulating us,” she mentioned, needing her theory to be said out loud; needing Serah to know, at the end of the day, that if she ends up being right, that she knew this was going to happen. 

Not that it would make much of a difference in changing it though, which was proven as Serah agreed softly with, “I know.” Lightning looked at her then, her brow furrowing in question. If Serah thought so too, wouldn’t the smart thing be to stop it before it ended in an orgy, or worse?

Whatever worse was.

“Then why are we letting them?”

“Because,” Serah exhaled in a long sigh, gently leaning her head on her sister’s shoulder as she stared at the wall that separated the living room and the kitchen. “I think a part of us likes it.”

Lightning pursed her lips, hating that she might be right; that even though this was beyond screwed up, that a little part of them liked having something new to play with. Serah looked up at her then, needing to make sure they were on the same page after admitting something that big, but Lightning just shook her head in defeat and swore.

This wasn’t going to end well.

**TBC…**


	6. VI

**CHAPTER VI**

Thankfully, Fang and Vanille did not pull anymore stunts like that for the next few days. Instead they just focused on helping them get ready for Lebreau’s party, which was now only a couple hours away. Lightning still did not feel prepared however, and the entire day she had done nothing else but constantly worry that they wouldn’t be able to pull this off.

“When did we first get together again?” she asked for what was probably the sixth time in the last few days as she wrung her hands together and paced back and forth in the living room, completely unable to sit still. 

Fang exhaled a long sigh, idly twirling the hair at the nape of her neck as she lounged back on the couch, watching her friend move back and forth across the expanse of the room. Lightning was surprised she wasn’t getting dizzy from watching her; she certainly felt dizzy enough just from _doing_ it. “A month and a half ago, Light; come on, we’ve been over this.”

“I know, but the date; I need to know the date. I can’t remember what we said.”

“We didn’t, because I figured it didn’t matter.”

“Well it does matter; so pick one!” Lightning exclaimed, looking at her incredulously because of course it was important; even though no one may ever ask, on the off chance that someone does, they needed to have their lies straight or this entire thing would fall apart beneath their feet. They couldn’t afford that.

“For fuck’s sake,” Fang muttered, looking exasperated as she rested her head against the back of the couch and tangled her fingers in her hair as she thought. After exhaling a soft groan she suggested, “I don’t know… November 7th?”

“November 7th,” Lightning repeated to herself, beginning her maddening pace again as she continued to remind herself of the lies they had constructed, “Okay. And our first kiss was… here, after a night of drinking. You said something crude, kissed me, and by some miracle I didn’t punch you in the face. Probably because I was drunk.”

“Hey, no, that’s not what we agreed on,” Fang interrupted, holding up her hand and pointing at her. “I told you that you were _beautiful_ before I kissed you; at least make it sound like I have some class, damn.”

“No one would believe that.”

“You think I wouldn’t tell you that you were beautiful?” Fang asked, feigning offense. Lightning stopped her pacing just in front of her then, putting her hands on her hip and shooting her a look like she had to be kidding her. She was pretty sure that by now she had a good idea how Fang would go about seducing someone, and spewing pretty words in her direction were not one of them. Fang wasn’t kidding at all however, and after reaching out and grasping Lightning’s hand in her own, she pulled the woman down on top of her.

Lightning landed in her lap, straddling the woman’s waist as Fang tangled their fingers together and made eye contact with her. “ _You_ , Lightning Farron,” she began softly, bringing their linked hands above their hands before Fang leaned back, taking Lightning with her until she was lying against her chest, lips a mere breath away from her own, “are easily one of the most gorgeous women I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. And every single day I think about how lucky I am, that I get to play the part of your fake girlfriend.”

Lightning wanted to scoff at that, because she was sure Fang was only saying stuff like that to prove her wrong, but instead her cheeks flushed lightly at the compliment that, unfortunately, sounded completely sincere. A slow grin began to etch itself across Fang’s face as she realized she had gotten to her, and finally Lightning was able to exhale an irritated scoff and look away. “Fine, whatever; we can pretend you told me that I’m beautiful instead, I really don’t care.”

“Well now we don’t have to pretend, now do we? Because I just said it to you.” Lightning rolled her eyes at that, because she was certainly never going to repeat that to anyone ever, but a light squeeze of her hand brought her attention back to the woman she was straddling, and the sincere look on Fang’s face actually took the soldier aback for a moment. 

“I mean it though, y’know,” Fang admitted softly, barely above a whisper, should anyone else hear what was meant only for her. Her gaze briefly landed on the other woman’s lips, before fluttering up to once again meet Lightning’s gaze. “I really do think that you’re… _incredibly_ beautiful.”

Something in Lightning’s stomach fluttered, a fierce warmth mixed with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, and Lightning forced herself to let go of the woman’s hand and look away as she reprimanded, “Don’t say things like that.” Because that was too real, and they weren’t supposed to be anywhere close to it. 

“Why not?” Fang asked, apparently not seeing the issue in it. And maybe it wasn’t specifically in what she had said, but how it made Lightning feel. Happy, flattered; a little flustered, as she had no idea how to take it. “I can be your friend and still think you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, Light; I can be your friend and still feel lucky that I get to kiss you. It doesn’t change anything.”

A finger was gently placed beneath her chin then, guiding Lightning back to catch her gaze as Fang questioned softly, tentatively; as though change might not be the most horrible thing in the world, should Lightning choose it, “Does it?” 

And of course Lightning couldn’t say yes, even if she wasn’t certain that no wasn’t the answer; that right there _would_ change everything, and Lightning would never take that chance. Besides, maybe Fang was right; maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal, and she was only feeling this way because she was nervous about going public with their lie in a few hours. It wasn’t as though she was doing a stellar job at identifying and regulating her emotions as of late.

“No,” Lightning breathed, knowing it was the only answer she could ever give anyway, “it doesn’t.” There was a pause then, and Lightning didn’t know why she had to say it, but as Fang was softly tracing the curvature of her jaw with her fingertips, looking at her like she was one of the few masterpieces in this word, Lightning couldn’t help but release her own secret in kind. “But I… think that you’re beautiful too.”

Fang smiled then; this wide, genuine expression of happiness, before a hand cupped her cheek and lips covered her own. Lightning grasped the hand that was on her face and returned the kiss in kind, praying that Fang was right, and that saying something like that to one another wasn’t as huge of a thing as she believed it was; that it really was something friends said to one another, and not just lovers. 

The kiss didn’t last long however, both of them hearing the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Lightning practically tore her lips away from Fang’s and whipped her head around, her gaze coming to rest on the form of her sister descending the staircase.

“Claire,” Serah reprimanded, sounding almost exhausted. “This is never going to work if you jump a mile every time I walk in on you guys kissing. I’m letting you do it; stop feeling guilty.” Collapsing on the couch next to them, she laid her head half on Lightning and Fang’s laps, her feet dangling over the edge of the arm rest as she sighed heavily. “Just kiss her; I don’t care.”

That wasn’t why Lighting felt guilty about it; kissing Fang in front of Serah wasn’t as hard for her anymore, just as seeing Serah kiss Vanille in front of her didn’t bother her as much as it used to. They were getting used to it, much faster than either of them probably expected to. It was what she and Fang had said to one another before that made her feel guilty, but she tried not to dwell on it and focused on her sister’s unhappy demeanor instead. Her brow furrowing, she rang her fingers through Serah’s hair comfortingly and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Because clearly something was bothering her; Serah wasn’t typically the type to mope around the house, after all. That was more Lightning’s area of expertise.

“How am I supposed to do this?” Serah asked, exhaling a loud groan as she fisted her hand in her hair in frustration. Slamming her hand down on the couch then, she exclaimed helplessly, “How am I supposed to pretend I’m falling for Vanille, right in front of Snow? Do you have any idea how much this is going to hurt him; what this is going to _do_ to him?”

Lightning pursed her lips; she hadn’t actually thought of that. She was too caught up in her own anxiety that this party was causing, and she felt terrible that she hadn’t even taken a second to consider how difficult this would be for Serah. She and Snow hadn’t seen one another since she had broken it off, so of course the first time would be awkward enough without the added stress of trying to sell a fake relationship to the rest of their friends. 

“Well maybe he’s over it,” Fang tried to reason, but when both Farron sisters shot her a disbelieving look, she held up her hands in surrender and defended, “I said _maybe._ ”

“Well what did you tell him?” Lightning tentatively asked. “When you… ended things with him?” Serah had never said, and at the time Lightning didn’t feel as though it were her place to ask. Serah was obviously very upset about it after it happened, and Lightning felt incredibly guilty because she knew it was her fault. And maybe it still wasn’t her place to ask now, but she didn’t know how else to help unless she knew exactly what had transpired between them.

Serah’s face crumpled in regret, her fingers beginning to tug on the hem of her shirt erratically; stretching the fabric and making Lightning’s stomach lurch, because she knew how Serah felt when she reverted to that compulsion, and it wasn’t anything good. Serah was beginning to stress out, and was beginning to look awfully guilty. “I… told him that things were different now, and that I needed to figure things out.” Shooting her sister an apologetic look, she finished, already knowing exactly how it would be taken, “I told him I needed space.”

Lightning stared at her, disbelief washing over her features at her sister’s choice of wording, because it was familiar; because it was _far_ too familiar. “Serah, that’s what you told _me!_ ”

“Y’know, maybe I should just go…” Fang tried, but she was already trapped underneath of Lightning and couldn’t move, and now Serah was covering her face with her hands and groaning, looking like she wanted nothing more than to sink into the couch and disappear.

“I know, I’m sorry!”

“He probably still thinks he has a chance, Serah! He’s probably—he’s probably _waiting_ for you,” Lightning exclaimed, looking at her sister in disbelief. She suddenly felt very betrayed by this; that maybe Serah was keeping her options open for both of them until she ultimately decided which one of them she wanted, and while Lightning was glad that she picked her, that didn’t change the fact that Serah had put both of them on the backburner until she figured out what each of them were worth. “How could you do this?!”

“Right. This is awkward to be in the middle of,” Fang murmured, shifting uncomfortably. Both women ignored her however. 

“I was confused, Claire! I was confused and I didn’t want to hurt you; to force you into a life of secrecy and shame if it wasn’t the best decision for us. I needed to be sure!”

“No, what you _needed_ was the guarantee that you wouldn’t be alone either way,” Lightning snapped, causing Serah’s eyes to mist over with regret and anguish as she went back to ruining her damned shirt, apparently just trying to have some control over _something_ in this situation. Lightning’s heart clenched in her chest though, the betrayal she felt causing her gut to twist painfully in her abdomen as she shook her head and looked away from her. “I can’t believe you.”

Serah looked like she was about to start crying and Lightning absolutely hated that, yet at the same time she knew Serah well enough to know that’s what the girl did when she didn’t want to get into trouble; because she knew Lightning would feel badly for her, and would always try to make it better. But everything can’t just—it can’t just _go away_ because Serah might cry her way into dehydration. That wasn’t fair, and Lightning wasn’t going to let her do it to her this time. She had every right to be upset about this right now.

“Ah shit, please don’t start crying,” Fang begged, apparently unable to handle the thought of Serah in tears as well. Etro, the girl could make everyone eat out of the palm of her hand if she really wanted to, couldn’t she? “I can fix this.” Lightning shot her a disbelieving look, finally registering that she practically had trapped the woman underneath her during all this, and Fang revised, “Well, part of this. _Vanille!_ ”

Vanille, who had been in her room getting ready, suddenly popped out from behind the threshold, completely sans anything covering her torso. “Yeah?” Lightning wished she could be offended or exasperated or _anything_ about Vanille’s lack of modesty, but honestly right then the only thing that concerned her was Serah. 

Who, by the way, was now blatantly staring at Vanille’s chest, until she seemed to snap herself out of it with a light smack to her own face as she forced herself to look away, knowing that if she didn’t she’d probably just cause more drama.

Fang either didn’t register her girlfriend’s lack of clothing, or completely didn’t care, as she informed her, “New plan. You and Serah are newly dating, thanks to Serah’s big realization during her time away from Snow that she’s as gay as the day is long. Not just for you, but in general. That way she’s got a valid excuse for why she can’t be with him anymore. You good with that?”

Vanille scrunched her nose, realizing what that meant. “He’s going to be very mad at me, isn’t he?”

“Honestly I’m shootin’ for more depressed by it; which sounds a bit shit, but yeah,” Fang responded, not particularly fond of how callous she sounded, but knowing it was the better of the two options. “Regardless, you know that if he yells at you that I’ll deal with it; I won’t leave ya alone to deal with the backlash.”

Vanille bit down on her bottom lip in apprehension, but nodded her agreement nonetheless. Shooting a disappointed look towards Serah, she asked, “You didn’t break up with him properly, did you?”

“I’m _sorry!_ ” Serah exclaimed for the umpteenth time, at least having the decency to look completely wracked with guilt. “If you don’t—if you don’t want to do this, Vanille, then you don’t have to; I’ll figure it out on my own, I swear. This is my problem.”

“Yeah, cause figuring it out on your own caused you to make some great decisions last time, right?” Lightning muttered bitterly, hating that this was actually happening right now. She had thought Snow would have had time to grieve for his lost relationship, maybe even manage to begin to move on, but this… this put them right back where they were _months_ ago, and all because Serah couldn’t bear the thought of ending up alone if she made the wrong choice.

It was so disastrously selfish of her, and Lightning couldn’t bear to look at her right now as she finally climbed off Fang’s lap. She just needed to be anywhere but here right now.

“No, Light, please don’t go!” Serah exclaimed, reaching for her sister, who purposely avoided any physical contact as she held up her hand and stepped back from her. She looked positively distressed by how upset she had made her, and Serah’s eyes began to brim with tears again as she begged, “Please, just let me—let me explain.”

“Explain what? I know exactly why you did it,” Lightning bit back bitterly, before running a frustrated hand through her hair and taking a full three steps backwards. “You know what? It doesn’t matter; we don’t have time for this anyway. I still need to go buy an outfit for tonight, and you need to get your facts straight with Vanille. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

“ _Tomorrow?_ But—!” Serah tried, but Lightning was already halfway out the front door, slamming it in her wake. In all honestly, she wasn’t planning on buying something new for the party tonight, but she just couldn’t—she couldn’t be trapped in the house with her right now, because the last thing she needed was some huge fight with Serah right before they were supposed to start telling the most important lie of their life.

Right then, that just mattered far more.

[x]

The majority of the party saw Lightning Farron sitting at the bar with a drink in her hand. At first, she had tried to push past how Serah had made her feel, but after seeing her speak to Snow and hearing the heartbreak and regret in each of their voices, Lightning found the bar to be a more appealing option.

Due to his work schedule though, Snow was actually late to the party, so at the beginning it wasn’t as difficult to manage as Lightning had feared it would be. She kept herself rather attached to Fang’s side near the start of it, counting on her to be the one to convincingly sell their lie. She sold it flawlessly, and now everyone seemed content on ‘congratulating’ Lightning on her relationship all night; which, to be quite honest, was fairly awkward. Lightning was certain that if this was a real relationship, she still wouldn’t want people talking about it this much. She liked her privacy.

Once she found space to breathe though, Lightning found herself in the far corner with Sazh, who greeted her with a warm hug and, “You’re looking good, Light. You know, all things considered.”

Lightning wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but tried not to jump straight to getting insulted by it as she asked, “What do you mean, ‘all things considered’?”

“Being human again?” Sazh answered, although it sounded more like a question because now he didn’t seem entirely certain that his guess was on point. “Thought you’d still be having problems with it. Hell, Hope still isn’t ready to leave the house; why I was surprised to see you here.”

_Hope._ Lightning had briefly wondered why she hadn’t seen him around yet, but had just assumed that he was busy with school, or perhaps still trying to find some trace of his dad. She knew Sazh had taken him in once they had gotten to the New World, but seeing as how she had been rather socially disconnected as of late, that was about the most Lightning had heard about it. Now she felt terrible about not realizing sooner that she wasn’t the only one having problems like this; Hope was hollowed out as well, used as a vessel for Bhunivelze’s will. And he was just—he was just a _kid_ ; erased and sent back despite having grown up already once before. This must be so much more difficult on him. 

“I’m… sorry,” Lightning apologized, feeling incredibly guilty over her own self-centeredness now. “I should have realized; but things have been… it’s been an adjustment, I guess. Is he—is it bad?”

“Not like it was, but he still doesn’t leave his room most days. Guess he finds it easier to manage if he’s alone,” Sazh responded, his lips creasing down into a frown. “I’m worried about him though; it ain’t healthy for a kid to spend his life locked up like that, but I don’t know what to do. Don’t really even know what to say to him most days; got no idea what’s even happening inside that head of his.”

“I do,” Lighting responded softly, averting her gaze from the man in front of her, as she had never been comfortable talking about what’s been going on with her. But with the very same thing happening to Hope, this wasn’t the time to pretend like everything was okay; if she could help, then she needed to. Hope was her friend. “I’ll… I can stop by; try to talk to him. I’m sorry I didn’t earlier, I just didn’t think—”

“Hey, you got your own thing going on,” Sazh responded understandingly. “Figured you did, and hell, it’s not like we’ve all been getting together every Sunday for dinner since we were dropped in this place. We’ve all been kinda spread out, doing our own thing. Just glad to see you’re alright.”

Lightning pursed her lips and nodded, grateful that he didn’t blame her for not being around for the kid, yet still feeling guilty about it all the same. 

“You’re lucky,” he mentioned, nodding towards Fang, who was deep in conversation with Lebreau. “That you’ve got someone to help you through it. Won’t pretend I’m not surprised though; thought for sure that she and Vanille—”

“They have a complicated relationship,” Lightning answered, because she didn’t want to spew Fang’s line about them only having sex with one another when they were single to _Sazh._ “I’m not threatened by it though, if that’s… if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s different, with Fang and I.”

She flushed a little at her own words, not entirely comfortable talking about her fake relationship with Fang; or her relationships in general to anyone. It felt awkward. She shifted her weight between her face, wringing her hands together as she avoided eye contact, choosing instead to stare at the far wall.

“Nah, not what I meant at all,” Sazh responded, chuckling a little as he glanced over at the girl in question, who was sitting with Serah; their hands linked together in her sister’s lap. “Can see she’s got her own thing going on. Today’s just full of surprises, I guess; I hadn’t heard that Snow and Serah called off the engagement.”

“I don’t know the details,” Lightning lied, because it was just easier that way. “What Serah does isn’t my business; I just want her to be happy with whatever she chooses to do with her life, or whoever she chooses to spend it with. Probably the most I can ever ask for.”

“What any parent would want for their kid.”

“I’m not Serah’s mother,” Lightning reminded him, finding that comparison to be even worse than the fact that she and Serah were sisters, considering what it is that she did with her behind closed doors. 

“You were still her guardian for a long time,” Sazh responded, shooting her a pointed look that told her that such technicalities didn’t really count. “All I’m saying is that you’re doing right by her; letting her choose her own path. All kids gotta grow up sometime, and most we can ask for is that they find happiness when they finally do.”

Lightning nodded, trying to look appreciative of his words, yet not really feeling it considering what was currently going on between her and her sister. Serah might have chosen her, but she still wasn’t certain that that decision was better for her; and clearly Serah didn’t either, considering she kept her options open until the very end, even when Lightning was certain that she had decided a long time ago where her heart truly lied. 

It was then that Snow decided to show up, and what followed was easily the most awkward part of the evening. His entire face lit up when he saw Serah, but when he saw the position that she and Vanille were in, in seconds his expression completely crumbled. Serah rushed to get up, guilt and regret written all over her expression as she moved towards him. 

“Snow, I… I was hoping that you’d come,” she tried, feigning a gentle smile; maybe to comfort him, maybe to make him think that it wasn’t as bad as he first assessed. “I need to… I mean, can we talk for a minute? Outside?”

Snow glanced towards Vanille, who was guiltily chewing on her bottom lip. But then Fang showed up at her side, looping her arm protectively in her girlfriend’s, and suddenly Snow seemed a little confused. Maybe he took the act as one of lovers and not a protective friend, and was now assuming that Vanille was just being platonically touchy with his ex-fiancée. 

Either way, he swallowed his uncertainty and nodded. “Sure, just let me give Lebreau my present. I’ll meet you on the porch.” He paused then, looking at Serah like she was something he feared breaking before tentatively telling her, “It’s… really great to see you again, Serah. I’ve missed you.”

Serah tried to give him an appreciative smile in return, but it just ended up falling flat before she turned on her heel and quickly made her way outside. The room was deathly silent, and it was probably that, more than anything else, that alerted Snow to the fact that he was the last to know something, and that whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

Yuj tried to turn up the music after Snow exited the house – probably to give them both a little privacy – but despite the loud decibel of it, everyone could still faintly hear the sound of an argument outside. The sound of it made Lightning feel like she had swallowed rocks, hearing things like, “This doesn’t mean that I don’t still love you,” and, “If I could change it, I would!” Maybe Serah was just trying to make Snow feel better, but all it did was make Lightning feel worse, because she didn’t know what to believe anymore. A part of her was even still paranoid that Serah was just placating him in order to be able to return to him, if things between herself and Lightning didn’t work out.

“Well, this is crap,” Lebreau muttered as she leaned against the bar next to Lightning, waving Gadot over so he could serve her another drink. “Your sister couldn’t have broken Snow’s heart literally anywhere else but here? Some birthday.”

“I didn’t know she hadn’t told him,” Lightning lied, her voice tense in warning, because she really wasn’t in the mood for this right now. She knew Lebreau had every right to be pissed about this, as this seriously was not the time or the place, but it was Serah’s decision to bring this down on all of them; not hers. She wasn’t her sister’s keeper. “Kick them out if you want to; I won’t stop you.”

Lebreau’s brow rose, looking surprised by Lightning’s lack of empathy or protection over her sister, as everyone knew that was generally the center of her entire being. But when Lightning didn’t say anything more, she shrugged and pushed herself off the bar with, “Maybe I will,” before she left to no doubt do just that. 

Lightning wasn’t entirely fond of the idea of Serah and Snow going off alone to hash out their issues and finalize their breakup, but it wasn’t fair to Lebreau that they were bringing down the entire party either. Besides, it was Vanille’s job to be concerned about what Serah was doing right now, not hers. 

Hers, apparently, was drinking half her body weight in vodka.

“You maybe wanna slow down on those?” Fang asked as she slid into the seat next to her, nodding at Lightning’s umpteenth shot. The other woman didn’t look at her, instead watching Lebreau interrupt Serah and Snow outside, most likely telling them to either cool it, or to take their problems somewhere else. Serah looked apologetic and turned to say something to Snow, resting a comforting hand on his arm before leaving him on the porch to head over towards Vanille; no doubt to tell her that she was leaving with her ex-fiancée, because her priorities had been absolutely atrocious as of late. 

Serah was going to blow this for both of them. Although to be fair, if she was careless enough to do that, then they clearly didn’t have anything worth hiding in the first place.

Which was… an _incredibly_ depressing thought.

“Not really,” Lightning responded flatly as she placed the glass to her lips and allowed the liquid to burn its way down her throat, completely uncaring of the look of irritation that flashed across Fang’s face at the blatant refusal of her ‘helpful’ suggestion. After she held up her hand to Gadot to pour her another one, Fang grasped her wrist and forced her hand back down on the table.

“You need to get your shit together,” Fang hissed in her ear. “Serah isn’t your business right now; I know everything you feel kind of spirals for you lately, but you’re gonna blow this if you seem more concerned with your sister’s love life than your own. Let Vanille handle it; this is her problem now.”

Vanille, however, didn’t seem to know what to do herself. After Serah said something to her, Vanille brought the girl into a tight hug before kissing her gently on the forehead; a gesture that caused Snow’s face to crumple even further. But as Serah returned to him, Vanille quickly headed over to Lightning and Fang, this lost expression on her face.

“What should I do?” she whispered, so that only they could hear. “She wants to leave so she can talk to him; I don’t know how I’m supposed to take that. Should I pretend to cry or something?”

Before Fang could answer however, Gadot showed up with Lightning’s shot, placing it in front of her. “You ladies need anything?” he asked, and Fang, to her credit, was able to pretend with ease that everything was fine when she answered him.

“Y’know what? Get us all a round; a sober party makes for a dull one, yeah?” Gadot chuckled, but did as asked as he got the two other women a drink as well. 

After he returned to the other end of the bar, Fang held up her shot in cheers, feigning a good time to anyone who may be watching them before she hissed, low enough for only the two women next to her to hear, “Nah, don’t cry; that’s overselling it. But the woman you just started to date just ran off with her ex; that’d bother anyone. I know this sucks, but you gotta play to it; just tell Lebreau that you’re sorry, but you think it’d be better if you went home to wait for her. I’ll have to stay here with Light for a bit and try to sell this shit show any way I can; we’ll meet you back at the house in an hour or two.”

Vanille looked displeased with that answer, as she certainly wanted to stay for the party, but sighed in recognition that Fang was right before she clanked their glasses together, allowing all three of them to down the liquid in unison. 

“I’m sorry,” Lightning murmured to the girl, feeling badly that her drama was the cause of Vanille being unable to have a good time. She never thought it would happen like this, and a part of her resented Serah for lying to them, as it didn’t just affect her now, but all of them. Like it or not, they were all in this relationship together now, and private issues between her and Serah were now just as much Fang and Vanille’s business as it was their own.

Vanille acknowledged her apology with a little head nod, but said nothing else in response to it. No doubt she wasn’t very happy with the way she and Serah were handling her relationship problems; but to her credit she did what Fang suggested and headed over towards Lebreau to tell her that she was going to take her leave.

Lightning sighed heavily, watching her go. This had barely begun, and already it was falling to pieces. She knew this would end up being a terrible idea.

Fang, though, was not about to just roll over and let this thing die. Grasping Lightning’s hand in her own, she coaxed the woman’s attention away from her plethora of distractions and encouraged, “Hey, look at me.” Lightning allowed her gaze to connect with hers, and Fang reminded her softly, “We’re happy, okay? Me and you, together, we’re bloody fucking perfect; that’s all these people have to know right now. There will be time to wallow in this later, so stay here with me, yeah? Don’t waste this chance.”

Part of Lightning wanted to tell Fang that Serah had already wasted this chance, but she knew it was just her own pessimism and depression talking. For all she knew, her sister really could be permanently ending things with Snow; and if she was, then the man definitely deserved a little bit more from Serah than just empty platitudes on some porch during the middle of a birthday party. Snow might not be Lightning’s favorite person in the world, but he was a good man, and he had been a good boyfriend to Serah. He always treated her right, always fought for her, and always loved her unconditionally. 

Yes, he definitely deserved better than some afterthought, “Oh by the way, I’ve realized I’m gay now. Sorry.” Still, regardless of Lightning’s realization of that, it didn’t stop her paranoia. She tried to suppress it though, tried to ignore the fear in her heart that perhaps Serah would continue to keep him on the backburner, because Fang was right; they had one chance to sell this, and that chance was now. If she and Serah ended up being alright in the end, and they both screwed this up, then they would have thrown away a perfectly good chance to try to live a normal life.

Rational, Lightning tried to reason with herself. She had to stay rational.

Unfortunately, rational wasn’t synonymous with vodka. 

For a while though, they played the part. Lightning allowed Fang to drag her to the dance floor, although she detested dancing in public. She lightly protested of course, as everyone knew she wasn’t one for those kinds of displays, but Fang just held onto her hand and pouted with a, “Pretty please?” and before she knew it, Lightning was rolling her eyes and consenting to the embarrassment just before she was tugged towards her and lightly kissed on the lips as a way of thank you. And so they danced, they laughed, and acted like they were enjoying themselves as they continued to drink and pretend and forget.

But as Lightning’s head began to fog and she began to feel like the world was slipping out from beneath her feet, she began to think about Snow and Serah, and what they must be doing right now. She imagined Serah touching his face, telling him that she was sorry, and giving him a goodbye kiss in parting. Which perhaps she might not entirely blame her for, but Lightning’s inebriation was causing her thoughts to go somewhere beyond her control, and suddenly in her head she saw Serah realize that she _liked_ kissing him, that she had made a huge mistake, and now they were fucking on some backwater pier a few miles from here and, Etro, she suddenly felt like she was going to vomit. 

Lightning ripped herself away from Fang without a word, heading around the corner and into the small bathroom. She hadn’t really thought about being followed there, as to be quite honest, she wasn’t really thinking at the moment, but of course Fang was only a few steps behind her, asking, “Hey, you alright?” as she closed the door behind them, giving them some privacy. “Ya look like you’re gonna be sick. Want me to take you home?”

But Lightning could barely hear her; Fang said words, she knew that, and they sounded comforting, like she cared. Fang always looked at her like she cared about her, and right then Lightning was feeling very uncared about, so regardless of the intelligence or lack thereof in the decision, she sought to grasp that feeling with both hands and hold on to it as long as she could. 

Fang looked startled as suddenly Lightning’s lips were on hers, and she noticeably stumbled backwards a few steps until she was pressed up against the firm surface of the door. And perhaps it was only because she was fairly inebriated herself, or just that it had always been instinctual to return that which had been given to her, but Fang returned the kiss in kind; meeting her halfway with just as much passion, just as much eagerness as their hands began to touch and grasp and claw.

Lightning groaned as Fang roughly bit at her bottom lip, tugging on it just enough to pinch before she let it go and slipped her tongue in her mouth instead. Allowing her fingers to get lost in the other woman’s hair, Lightning began kissing her with desperation, with need, and with no rational forethought to speak of. And it was that, more than anything else, that became abundantly clear as suddenly Lightning had pushed Fang’s sari off of her shoulder, and was now trying to go up the small black cloth that separated her hands from the brunette’s breasts.

“Hey, hey, whoa,” Fang tried, grasping Lightning’s wrists and bringing them down a safe distance away. She was breathing heavily, mirroring the soldier’s in kind as she caught Lightning’s gaze. “I’m more than willin’ to be your make out buddy right now if that’s what’s gonna make you feel better, but I’m not gonna let you do something you’ll regret.”

“You don’t know what I’ll regret,” Lightning countered breathlessly, her eyes darkened with need as she stared at Fang like she might be the answer to all of her problems. Logic having completely detached itself from her brain at this point, Lightning smirked as she placed her hand on the brunette’s chest, dragging a solitary finger from beneath her breasts to her belly button as she eradicated the space between them. 

“You think I don’t see the way you look at me?” Lightning breathed, her lips just inches from the other woman’s. She watched Fang’s breath get caught in the back of her throat then, and her smirk widened at the effect she had on her. “I know you’ve thought about it. I know you’ve wondered what it would be like.”

“Yeah, but generally in all of those scenarios you’re sober; and with how aggressive you’re being right now, it’s pretty fuckin’ clear that you’re not,” Fang countered, apparently not one to lie when she was drunk. Although, to be fair, she probably would have said that regardless of the alcohol in her system; she had always been rather blunt with how she felt. Lightning both loved and hated that about her simultaneously. 

Lightning pointedly ignored that though, knowing full well that if she tried to argue her own sobriety right now that she’d probably lose. She knew she was drunk, but right then, it just didn’t matter. Ironically, most likely only _because_ she was drunk. Still, she leaned up and brushed her lips against Fang’s chin, her jaw, and then across her mouth before she breathed her wicked little secret against the other woman’s skin, knowing exactly what her hushed words would do to her. “I want you to taste me, Fang…”

“Fuck,” Fang groaned, those words apparently having a fairly profound effect on her as she lightly banged her forehead against Lightning’s in momentary defeat. But it still wasn’t enough, because instead of complying to Lightning’s wish she kept shaking her head and swearing, “Fuck. Fucking, fucking, fuck. No. No, get off of me.” She pushed Lightning away then, desperately needing space from the one thing she knew could tempt her if only she allowed it to.

“Don’t do this,” Fang told her strongly, needing to find her voice, a reason; clarity. “You’re drunk and you’re upset, I get that, but if you fuck me right now, you’re gonna destroy everything that you fought _centuries_ for. Is that what you want?”

“Why should it matter to you, what I do or don’t do?” Lightning countered, her voice beginning to rise as she was rudely pushed out of her lustful stupor and back into things she didn’t want to think about. “You’re allowed to sleep with whoever you want; this won’t affect _your_ life any.” 

“Yeah, cause comin’ between two of my friends definitely won’t affect my life in the slightest,” Fang responded sarcastically. “Wake up, Light; you think I don’t know what this is really about? That you’re being absolute shit right now and tryin’ to use me just to seek vengeance against Serah? Explain to me why I should drop my pants for someone who doesn’t even want to have sex with me, just to cause some bullshit drama that neither of us need in our lives?”

“You think I don’t want to have sex with you?” Lightning asked incredulously, before a hysterical laugh left her lips. “That’s funny. That’s… that’s so unbelievably funny.” 

Funny, of course, in a way that wasn’t funny at all, because a part of her did. A part of her really, really wanted to, and when she was sober she hated herself for that thought, because she shouldn’t be fantasizing about anyone who wasn’t Serah. She shouldn’t look at Fang, and wonder what it would be like if the woman was allowed to kiss more than just her lips, and yet sometimes those thoughts slipped through her defenses, and left her wanting. 

And utterly self-hating.

Fang’s brow rose at Lightning’s answer, and if she didn’t believe that she was telling her the truth through her drunken hysteria, she certainly did once Lightning realized what it was that she revealed and tried to backtrack with, “Just forget it. I’m drunk, I don’t—I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Fang exhaled a long breath, taking a moment to process that. “Look,” she began softly, taking a step towards her. “You want the truth? I’ve wanted to fuck you since the moment I first saw you. Vanille’s known it too, and was worried that us doing this would make it harder on me, since I’d be able to touch you without ever really _touching_ you, y’know? Cause we knew you guys, and we knew it was a pipe dream that you’d ever let us get that far. But I still did it, and you want to know why?”

Lightning looked up at her then, catching the other woman’s gaze as Fang continued, “Because you’re my best fucking mate, Light. And I look at you, and I see how you look at _her_ , and I can’t imagine a world where your smile doesn’t come from seeing her, from touchin’ her, from loving her.”

Lightning felt her breath catch in her chest, and an emotion she wasn’t expecting began to well up inside of her as she stared at the woman across from her.

“I bloody love you, alright?” Fang continued, grasping her friend’s hand in her own to garner her full attention. Her touch was warm; comforting. “I want you to be happy, and Serah… she makes you happy. That’s why I did this; that’s why I torture myself every goddamn day because it’s so worth it, y’know? Seein’ you both happy. So maybe do me a favor back, and don’t fucking screw it up just because your sister made one mistake.”

Lightning didn’t know if it was her lack of sobriety, or her lack of being able to control the intensity of her own emotions as of late, but what Fang had said to her hit her so hard that she felt like she could barely breathe. Her eyes welled up with tears, and the shame that usually accompanied that show of weakness didn’t come because she was suddenly wrapped in Fang’s arms, her face buried in a place that, at the end of the day, she always felt safe in.

And it was that thought that caused the tears to spill more rapidly, the realization that she took so many things in her life for granted; Fang being one of them. Lightning had always called the woman her best friend, but never really showed how much she appreciated her before; never told her before how lucky she felt to have someone like her in her life, who always comforted her when she needed it, who always told her the harsh truth even when she didn’t want to hear it. Fang had always looked out for her, even above her own interests, and as the woman held her to her bosom and tried to gently shush her, Lightning refused to stop herself when she breathed, “I love you too,” to her closest friend for the very first time in her life.

And it didn’t make her feel guilty, it didn’t make her feel like she had said something wrong, even if she had always reserved those words for Serah alone; because she did love Fang, it was just in a different way. Maybe, with how things were between all of them now, the lines did get blurred sometimes, but Fang was right; in the end, they would realize what side they fell on, and this was it. Lightning loved her, but it was different; not necessarily less, but enough for both of them, in a way that they couldn’t get from their partners.

“I’m sorry,” Lightning breathed through her tears, her near-mistake finally hitting her hard and without remorse. She had almost done something terrible, and dragged Fang down with her. That was so completely selfish of her that right then, she could do nothing else but apologize over and over as the strength of her emotions finally began to lift the haze of inebriation from her mind. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“Shhh,” Fang breathed, tangling her fingers through Lightning’s hair as she held her close to her body. Kissing the top of her head, she told her, “I know, Light; I know. It’ll be okay. I promise ya, everything will be okay…”

And Lightning didn’t know how she could ever assure her of that, but right then, with nothing but her sorrow and her pain and Fang to comfort her, Lightning believed her. She loved her, she trusted her, and she believed her.

**TBC…**


	7. VII

**CHAPTER VII**

The sound of the front door closing was what woke Lightning up, but only just barely. After the emotionally exhausted and intensely intoxicated evening that she’d had, Lightning had passed out on the couch almost immediately after getting home. And although she didn’t remember the exact time that she had done so, it had apparently been in Fang’s lap, as that was where her head delicately rested at the moment.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Fang breathed, feeling Lightning stir a little. Weaving her fingers comfortingly in her hair, she encouraged softly, “Go back to sleep.” And Lightning was going to, because she was utterly exhausted and quite honestly, still a little drunk, but it was the voice that came next that caused her to become more aware of the situation that was currently unfolding.

“Fang?” Serah asked softly, trepidation in her voice as she walked in on her sister completely sprawled out on the other woman’s lap. Whatever she had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t that. “Claire, is she—is she okay?”

Fang didn’t answer her though, instead telling her point blank in a voice that was deadly serious, “ _Sit._ ”

Lightning didn’t move, feigning sleep in order to see how this would play out. Fang sounded pissed, and quite frankly, she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with this herself anyway, so she put her trust in Fang and allowed her to do this for her, at least for the time being. In the end, the brunette would probably be more competent in expressing her feelings right now anyway. 

Serah sounded confused and a little taken aback by the woman’s tone as she asked, “What?” But Fang wasn’t playing around as she reiterated strongly, “Sit. _Down._ ”

Lightning heard the armchair’s springs creak; apparently Serah had sat almost immediately, no doubt very much aware of how displeased everyone currently was with her. And yet even still, she tried to skirt around it by saying, “Fang, I… I understand that you’re mad, and I’m sorry about that, but right now this is between me and Light—”

“Wrong,” Fang interrupted, causing Serah to silence herself immediately. “You might be the one who hurts her, but _I’m_ the one who has to pick up the pieces of it. You think this is the first time she’s drank herself into a bloody stupor because of you? This isn’t _new_ , Serah; this is really fucking old actually, and frankly I’m getting pretty goddamn tired of it.”

“I…” Serah tried, but Fang immediately cut her off.

“Nah, I ain’t done yet,” she told her, voice tinged with anger and disappointment. “You know she’s been hurtin’ lately, that something’s wrong with the way she’s wired, or whatever the hell becoming human again did to her. That means she’s got this nasty habit right now of takin’ a situation and making it ten times worse in her head. You _know_ that, and yet you still keep doin’ this to her. She doesn’t know what it’s like to love anyone else but you, and you damn well should have known that it’d hurt her if she ever found out that you kept Snow all this time as your bloody backup. If you really wanted her, Serah, you should have chosen her at the same time that you let him go.”

“And you’re what?” Serah asked, upset and hurt filtering through her tone. She sounded accusatory, and like she might just begin to cry if what she’s assuming turns out to be true. “Choosing her now? Is that what this is all about; you proving that you’re better than me? That you _care_ more than me?”

“What? No,” Fang responded, her tone indicating that that might be one of the most ridiculous things she had ever heard. “Etro, are you drunk too? For fuck’s sake, you Farron women need to go to a meeting. _No,_ this isn’t about me, alright? Because believe me, if I wanted to screw up your relationship, I would have done that earlier when Lightning tried to fuck me.”

_That_ caused Serah to go completely silent, no doubt paling as she sat there in shock for a long moment. “What…?” she breathed finally, and Lightning tried so hard not to hit Fang for that, because she was supposed to be pretending to be asleep, but Maker’s ass, why the hell did she have to tell her sister _that?_ That was the last thing Serah needed to know; that was the last thing she _wanted_ Serah to know.

“She was drunk and upset, what the bloody hell else did you expect her to do?” Fang countered, like that was a completely normal response. Maybe it was, but it certainly didn’t feel like it. “But she didn’t, and that’s what matters here. Instead she cried all over me, which was about as fun as it sounds. She might be a mess, Serah; but at least when push comes to shove she’s got her priorities straight.” Looking her straight in the eye then, Fang asked, “Do _you?_ ”

“How can you even ask me that?” Serah asked softly, sounding hurt; offended. “I’ve loved Claire my… my entire _life._ This was never about not knowing what I wanted; I’ve always wanted her, but I just didn’t—I didn’t know if what I wanted was best for her. I was trying to protect her.”

“Bullshit,” Fang exclaimed, looking at Serah like she couldn’t believe that she was fed that kind of line. She ran her fingers through Lightning’s hair then, in almost a protective gesture as she continued, “If this was just about Lightning, then you wouldn’t have kept Snow on that little leash of yours for so long. So why don’t you look me in the eyes and try that again; preferably with the truth this time, because I’m still half-drunk, hella irritated, and my patience is running pretty damn thin at this point.”

Serah’s defenses flared up at the way Fang was speaking to her, and she lashed out with, “I’m not obligated to explain myself to you, Fang; you’re not my girlfri—”

“You think what you do doesn’t affect us?” Fang interrupted incredulously. “Vanille had to leave the party early because of you; didn’t get to stay and have fun with her friends, because she had to pretend that she was upset that you went off with Snow. Lightning fell the fuck apart, and in case you forgot, _I_ was the one who had to deal with the repercussions of that. Like it or not, Serah, you’re practically in a polyamorous relationship now; what you do now doesn’t just affect you and your sister, it affects all of us. So yeah, this _is_ my business now.”

Fang was very unapologetically straightforward in her response, her tone leaving no room for question or argument. Even if the thought of practically gaining two more girlfriends was overwhelming to Serah, the girl didn’t comment on it as Lightning heard her exhale a defeated sigh, allowing a long silence to pass between the two women for a moment as she tried to find a way to explain herself.

“My… my parents; they died when I was very young,” Serah finally began, and while Fang probably didn’t understand how on Pulse that was relevant, she stayed silent and let her speak. “I don’t remember my father’s passing, but I was twelve when my mother died. I was twelve years old, and already had lost more than half of the handful of people I cared about. Suddenly, Claire was my entire world, my _only_ world, and I became… _terrified_ that I was going to lose her too. I spent years fearing something would happen to her, constantly living with that anxiety and stress, and I was only a little girl.”

Lightning’s heart clenched her chest at those words, because she remembered; she remembered how frightened Serah had been when she had first wanted to join the Guardian Corps, begging her not to because it was dangerous. But at the time, it was the only way she could support both of them without a proper education, and so when she ultimately went off to join the military, Serah locked herself in her bedroom and cried for days.

“I learned far too young that nothing is ever permanent, and it made me realize that one day I was going to be completely alone,” Serah continued softly, voice barely audible as she stared at her hands that lay delicately in her lap. “And I—I _can’t_ be alone; I can’t have everyone I love leave me again. Maybe it’s just some stupid childhood trauma, but I’m legitimately frightened by it; the thought of being completely alone, of losing absolutely everyone that I love, makes me feel like—like I can’t _breathe,_ Fang…!”

“Hey, hey,” Fang gently coaxed, trying to calm Serah down as the girl’s voice suddenly began to get high pitched and her breathing began to shallow. Lightning felt Fang carefully move her off of her lap then, and she couldn’t help but open her eyes a sliver to see the form of her friend move to kneel before her sister’s chair, taking Serah’s hands in her own.

“I’ve always— _always_ picked her, but she left me; she left me and I needed someone, and Snow was that someone. I needed someone around, to remind myself that my love wasn’t toxic, and that everyone I touch won’t eventually leave me.”

“Serah, she didn’t leave you,” Fang told her softly, catching the girl’s gaze. “She just joined the military, that’s not—”

“You don’t understand,” Serah breathed, a tear slipping down her cheek as her face crumpled with the memory of it. “I barely saw her after that; she pulled away, barely spoke to me. She always worked when I was home, and was at home when I was at school. And maybe—maybe it was because she was starting to realize how she felt about me, and it—it scared her, disgusted her, I don’t know, but all I knew then was that I was losing the one person I loved more than anyone in this world.”

“It broke my heart, Fang,” Serah sobbed, unable to control her tears now as she took a shuddered inhale of breath, pressing her hand over her mouth for a moment. “And so I—I tried to replace her with Snow, and it was awful, I’m _awful—_ ”

“Shh, hey; stop,” Fang encouraged, touching the girl’s face with her palm as she coaxed her to look at her, softly sweeping her thumb over Serah’s cheek to wipe away another fallen tear. “You’re not awful,” she told her gently. “You were scared, and you made a mistake. No one blames you for the trauma your childhood inflicted on you; cause hell, everyone’s fucked in some way, yeah? And Light, she went through the same stuff you did, and I’m sure if you just explained it to her, she’d get it. As long as you’re sorry, as long as you try not to hurt her again, then nothing else matter’s, y’know? You love each other, that’s the only thing that’s important.”

Serah nodded, hiccupping a little as she looked down and tried to make herself stop crying. Fang affectionately smoothed out the girl’s hair then, before realizing that she had something else to say to her and encouraged gently, “Hey, look at me.” Serah’s watery gaze caught hers, and Fang’s lips upturned into a soft smile. “You think you only got these two people who love you, but you’re wrong. Me and Vanille, we love you too; you and Light are like our family now, and so you are _never_ going to be alone. You hear me? You don’t have to be scared of that anymore, because the three of us? Light, Vanille, and I? We’re _never_ gonna leave you.”

An intense emotion began to well up in Serah’s eyes, those words meaning more to her than anything else in that moment, and Lightning knew what was going to happen before her sister even moved. She watched as Serah closed the distance between them, gently placing her lips against Fang’s as she kissed the woman with a little too much meaning to be considered chaste. And Lightning knew she should be infuriated at the sight, jealous or angry that Serah was kissing someone she hadn’t given permission for, but in that moment, she couldn’t bring herself to be. 

Her sister was hurting, and Fang was comforting her. Despite her rough exterior, Fang had always been good at that; always incredibly caring and gentle when she needed to be, and if Lightning could reap the benefits of that, then Serah should be able to as well. She knew how it felt to be in Fang’s arms, and right then she couldn’t deny her sister that same feeling of safety. It seemed far too cruel.

Serah broke the kiss fairly quickly though, exhaling a shuddered sigh as she leaned her forehead against Fang’s and whispered, eyes shut so she wouldn’t have to face what she had just done, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t be,” Fang breathed, before a small smirk broke out on her face and she gently squeezed Serah’s hand, letting her know that something like that was okay with her. “I definitely didn’t hate it.”

Serah exhaled a quiet, embarrassed giggle, her cheeks flushing a light pink as she looked away from her. The feeling didn’t last long though, and she swallowed and shook her head as she looked back at her. “I just… I can’t do that to Claire. She never told me that I could kiss you, and I’ve already hurt her once today; I can’t do that again.” 

Lightning looked at her sister, seeing the regret and distress in her eyes, and she couldn’t take it anymore. Serah needed to know that she wasn’t angry with her, that she didn’t blame her, because she understood; she knew how badly Serah took the death of their parents, and how incredibly attached she had gotten to her after that, how _fearful_ she had been for Lightning’s safety every time she left the house. It had broken something inside of her, and although Lightning wasn’t happy about the choices her sister had made lately, she did understand why she chose to make them. In the end, she could see Serah regretted it, and that she loved her, and… and Fang was right; that was all that mattered.

“You’re not,” Lightning said, voice hoarse with sleep as she pushed herself into a seated position. Serah jumped a mile at the sound of her voice, but Fang didn’t move an inch; like she had been expecting it. “Hurting me, Serah; you’re not,” Lightning clarified, her gaze connecting with her sister’s, needing her to know with just one sentence that it encompassed all of it; Snow, Fang, the lying, the fear… all of it. 

“Claire…” Serah breathed apologetically, pushing herself off the chair and past Fang to collapse on her knees in front of the couch, grasping her sister’s hands in her own as she desperately told her, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry about Snow; I never meant to—”

“Serah… Serah, stop,” Lightning tried, voice cracking a little as she reached forward to try to encourage the girl to climb up onto the couch and into her arms. Serah did as she was instructed, and as Lightning wrapped her in an embrace, she felt her sister bury her face into her neck as she softly told her, “I know, okay? I know you’re sorry; it’s okay.”

But Serah had already lost the battle with her own emotions and was crying into her neck; although whether it was from her own regret or the sheer feeling of relief that she hadn’t screwed this up, Lightning wasn’t sure. She held onto her tightly though, fisting the fabric of Lightning’s shirt into her hands as tears spilled down her cheeks in jagged lines. The sound of it caused Lightning’s chest to compress, and she gently tried to sit Serah up as she breathed, “Hey… hey, stop crying. Look at me.”

Serah choked back another sob before placing her hand over her mouth, trying to will herself to calm down. Her hand was shaking, and Lightning gently took it in her own as she brought it down between their bodies, wanting to see all of her sister’s face when she spoke to her. “I heard,” she breathed, wiping a stray tear away that had fallen down Serah’s cheekbone. “I know why you did it, and I know you’re sorry you did. And it’s okay; we’ll talk about it in the morning if you want to, but for now just—just breathe for me, alright?”

Serah nodded, hiccupping a little as another tear fell down her cheek, but to her credit she got a handle on her emotions fairly quickly. Lightning gave her sister a soft, encouraging smile when Serah’s breathing finally began to regulate, and she leaned in to give her a tender kiss on the forehead. “It’s late,” she told her, tucking a piece of hair behind her sister’s ear. “We’re both exhausted, and I… need Advil. _Badly._ ”

Lightning saw Fang smirk out of her peripheral, but she ignored her as she requested of Serah, “Wait for me upstairs? I’ll be there in a minute, I promise. Don’t fall asleep without me.”

Serah swallowed and nodded, eyes still watery and bloodshot before she hesitated for a moment, looking at Lightning with an incredibly vulnerable expression before she finally got the courage and leaned in, bringing her sister into a gentle kiss. “I love you, Claire,” she whispered as they parted, her warm palm touching the older woman’s cheek.

“I love you too,” Lightning breathed, placing her hand on the one that rested delicately against her face, letting her know that she wanted her close to her. Serah smiled softly before she finally got to her feet and looked back at Fang, who had sprawled herself out on the armchair during this entire exchange.

And then Serah’s cheeks flushed red, no doubt embarrassed now by her own forwardness in kissing her. “Goodnight, Fang,” she said in parting before she quickly turned away, retreating up the stairs. Fang smirked.

“I just make ‘em blush like schoolgirls, don’t I?”

Lightning shot her a decidedly unamused look at that, and Fang held up her hands in surrender. “Sorry, couldn’t help it. Still, now that I think about it, don’t think I’ve made ever _you_ turn that red. Huh. Guess I got a new goal to aspire to.”

Lightning ignored her, knowing that Fang was just trying to talk her way around the fact that she had kissed Serah. She clearly didn’t know how Lightning was going to take it, and instead tried to make it into a joke. Right now though, that was the least of Lightning’s concerns. Instead, her curiosity got the better of her and she asked, “How did you know?” Off of Fang’s confused look, Lightning reiterated, “That I wasn’t actually sleeping.”

“Your breathing,” Fang answered, pointing at her chest. “Never slowed back down. But I figured you were fakin’ it for a reason, so I didn’t get onto ya about it.”

Lightning pursed her lips and nodded, before extending gratefully, “Thank you.” Running a hand through her hair, Lightning pressed her back against the couch and told her, “I just… couldn’t do that tonight; not after the night I already had. And I know you didn’t have to, so… thanks.”

Fang shot her a sympathetic look and nodded, and Lightning sighed heavily before she picked herself off the couch to go to bed. But before she could walk away, Fang got up and called out, “Light?” When the woman turned around, Fang’s brow was crumpled and she implored, “Please don’t… y’know, get onto Serah about kissin’ me. Think she was just sad… and also a little bit drunk. Tasted like it, anyway.”

But Lightning didn’t say anything; she just looked at her, watching Fang shift uncomfortably beneath her gaze, before she finally exhaled a small breath and closed the distance between them. Running her hand up Fang’s neck and into her hair, Lightning brought their lips together for a long, lingering kiss. And when she broke she didn’t move back; didn’t look away. She just looked into her friend’s eyes and told her in a low, honest whisper, “Thank you for comforting my sister, Fang.”

Fang’s voice came out a little breathless, disbelieving as she looked at Lightning, wondering if she heard her right. “You serious?”

“I trust you,” Lightning told her, and for once she didn’t question it, didn’t doubt how she felt, no matter how strangely unorthodox it all was. Maybe she was just too tired to question it, or maybe she was just tired of pretending that this all wasn’t going to lead to the same place anyway. “I trust you with her.”

“In what way?” Fang tentatively asked, unsure exactly what Lightning was telling her. “In the ‘I’m allowed to kiss her’ way, or ‘the four of us need to sit down and reevaluate the boundaries of our agreement’ way?”

Lightning gently chewed on her bottom lip, not really knowing herself. So instead she just gave her a soft smile, kissed her lightly on the cheek, and said, “Goodnight, Fang.”

And Fang, realizing that even if it was the latter, that right now wasn’t the time to talk about it, watched Lightning go with her own whispered parting of, “…Goodnight, Light.”

[x]

The next morning, neither Farron sister wanted to talk. In the end, last night had been enough of an apology and forgiveness for them both, and so this morning they focused on reconnecting physically, rather than emotionally. Lightning just wanted to move past all that, knowing that nothing good came from dwelling on things that made her unhappy. If the last few months had taught her anything, it was that her emotions were akin to quicksand, and so if she was going to sink into something, it might as well be something good.

And as Serah arched her back towards the ceiling, legs spread on either side of her sister’s face as she pressed her palm against the headboard, Lightning knew that this was about as good as good could get. Serah’s other hand was pressed against her mouth, the skin on the back of it nearly getting bitten raw as she tried to keep herself quiet, a muffled groan being exhaled in need as Lightning slipped two fingers inside of her whilst continuing her tongue’s assault.

Then the door opened.

“Guys, wake up! Fang says that breakfast is rea—” But Vanille stopped halfway through her sentence as she took in the sight before her, which now had Lightning scrambling to cover their naked bodies with a sheet after the two sisters had sprung apart in surprise. She smirked. “Oops, guess you guys _were_ already having breakfast.”

“ _Vanille_ ,” Lightning growled dangerously, holding the sheet to her chest. Fang, to her, had always seemed rather unbreakable, and if it had been she who opened the door, she probably would have thrown something at her head. But Lightning had always treated Vanille like she had treated Serah, and therefore couldn’t bring herself to be meaner than she had to be. They were younger, after all. “When the door is closed, you _knock._ ”

“Right; sorry,” Vanille apologized, although she didn’t sound very sorry at all; in fact, she seemed positively pleased that she walked in on what she had. Still, she turned to give them their privacy before she paused and said, “Oh, yeah, before I forget…” She looked at Lightning then, taking a few steps towards her as she told her, “Fang told me to give you this.”

And then her lips were on hers, and Lightning felt her brain completely stop with how unexpected it was. Thankfully it was brief, and when Vanille pulled back she explained, “She wanted all of us to be even.” Her tongue snaked out to wet her lips then, and she smirked before she told Serah quite bluntly and with no shame to speak of, “Mmm. You taste good.”

Serah just blinked at her, apparently unable to comprehend what had just happened as much as Lightning could.

Vanille backed away then, telling them cheerily, “Anyway, there’s pancakes downstairs! Come down when you’re ready, okay?” And then she was gone, leaving the two Farron sisters to just stare at the empty space where the girl used to be.

“…What just happened?” Serah asked, sounding a little dazed by it as she glanced in her sister’s direction.

“I’m pretty sure that was the last of our boundaries disappearing into nothing,” Lightning responded, still unable to wrap her head around it. It took her a long minute to snap herself back into reality, and when she did she groaned, tangling her fingers in her hair as she collapsed on her back on the mattress. “We need to talk to them,” she told her sister, eyes trained on the ceiling.

“And tell them what?” Serah asked softly, glancing tentatively at her sister’s form. “To stop, or to…?”

Lightning exhaled a long sigh. “I don’t know,” she murmured, because nothing about this made any sense anymore; the lines between them were getting blurred beyond recognition, and the worst part about it was that she didn’t know if she wanted them to be clearly drawn in the sand again. Looking over at Serah, she asked her, “What do you want?”

Serah bit her bottom lip, and her lack of a quick answer proved that a part of her really wouldn’t be against expanding their relationship a little, but that she was afraid Lightning might take it the wrong way if she said it out loud. “I’m sorry,” she breathed instead, briefly covering her face with her hands before she pushed the hair out of her eyes and leaned back against the headboard. “This has just gotten so confusing.”

“It’s alright,” Lightning responded understandingly, pushing herself into a seated position before she moved over to place herself to the right of her sister. This wasn’t easy for her either, and like Serah, a part of her was afraid of what she might want. Still… “We don’t need to talk about this right now,” Lightning breathed, leaning in to place a hot, open mouthed kiss just beneath her sister’s ear, causing Serah’s eyes to fall closed and a shudder to run through her body. “Just let me finish what I started…”

Serah’s knees had been pulled towards her chest, but as Lightning’s hand began to run down her body the girl let them fall open, allowing her sister’s fingers to get lost in her folds. Serah moaned softly, turning her head to place her forehead gently against her sister’s cheek, exhaling a shuddered breath as Lightning briefly dipped her fingers inside of her, spreading her arousal over her clit.

“Light…” she breathed, sliding her hand over her sister’s thigh as she encouraged Lightning into the same position she was in. Allowing her hand to get lost between the soldier’s thighs, Serah began kissing the woman’s ear, her jaw, and then finally her mouth as she slipped her tongue past her lips and put pressure on her clit. Lightning groaned, returning the favor in kind as she began to rub tight, fast circles against her sister’s sex, causing Serah’s breathing to hitch in the back of her throat as she kissed her harder.

But the closer they both got, the more their heads began to swim, and suddenly Serah was breathing, “I wish they were watching us…” against her sister’s skin without thought, her tone holding an apology for an admission she knew she probably should have never voiced. And it was such a messed up revelation, because no one in their right mind would ever want that, right? It was the stuff of mere fantasies, something that you think about but never actually participate in in real life, and yet Lightning just kissed her sister passionately in response, letting her know it was alright because…

“I do too,” she whispered against her lips, cheeks flushing a little in arousal and embarrassment at the thought, because she had never thought of herself as being one to make a display of her private life. But it was just a fantasy, she told herself; it didn’t mean that she really wanted it. It was just a game right now; a game that she was playing with Serah to get her off. “I—I kind of wish they were watching us, while we were watching them…”

Serah groaned at that thought, apparently wishing that was happening more than anything now as Lightning felt a fresh gush of arousal cover her hand as her sister’s insides contracted at the thought. And it was so screwed up, but there was a sort of high associated with it; of getting off to a fantasy of other people while having your fingers in someone else. And because Serah was feeling the same way, Lightning didn’t feel guilty; instead she felt invigorated as she pressed her lips to her sister’s ear and begged her, “Tell me what you want to see them do to each other.”

“I want…” Serah tried through ragged breaths, her free hand fisting in the sheets as Lightning increased the pace on her clit. “ _Oh—_ I want… want to see Vanille on her knees. Spreading Fang open for us while she—while she… fuck, _fuck,_ Claire—!”

“Don’t stop,” Lightning demanded breathlessly, not relenting on the pace she had set despite it causing Serah to be unable to form many words. Her sister’s sticky hand was grasping her thigh now, unable to continue her reciprocation as her breathing shallowed and her whole body flushed with lust. “You’ve imagined it, haven’t you? What we’d do to one another, if… if we let them into our bed?”

“— _Yes,_ ” Serah breathed desperately, almost a little apologetically despite the insanity that they were both currently participating in, and Lightning was pushing for. But she had imagined it too, and she needed to know that she wasn’t alone; that Serah was just as screwed up as she was, even if they never acted on it, and only ever allowed it to be a private fantasy between them both. “I want… I want to watch Fang bend you over, to roughly take you from… from behind as you watch Vanille go down on me. I want you to watch me come for her, Claire, I—I want…!”

But that was as much as Serah could take as she shouted, her muscles contracting violently and nearly making her legs spasm as she came all over the white sheets below them. Her nails were making crescent marks in Lightning’s skin as she tried to breathe, but Lightning had immediately brought her hand between her own thighs, desperate to get off because of the images Serah had put in her head. 

And this time Serah didn’t stop her, didn’t tell her that only _she_ could make her come. Instead, as she struggled to breathe she leaned against her sister, lightly kissing her neck as Lightning worked on getting herself off. “You’re imagining it, aren’t you…?” she breathed, and Lightning nodded as she kept her eyes firmly shut, lost in the fantasy that Serah had painted for her.

Because it was just a fantasy; it wasn’t real.

“Say her name,” Serah demanded, watching Lightning’s hand for a moment before her gaze flickered back up to her face. “I know you want to, Claire; _say it._ ”

“Fang…” Lightning breathed softly, the name falling from her lips causing almost her entire body to flush with shame. But she knew why Serah was doing this; she was testing herself, seeing if she could handle her lover thinking about another person, because if they ever did decide to take this any further than this, then she would have to be okay with Lightning wanting another person this desperately.

In the end, perhaps it wasn’t just a fantasy after all. Maybe this was just their first step to accepting a strange reality that they both desperately seemed to want, and Lightning didn’t know whether to be ecstatic or terrified of that as she rubbed her hand faster against her sex and did exactly what Serah told her to. 

“Louder. You want her to fuck you, don’t you? So prove it!”

“Fang…! Fang, Fa— _fuck,_ ” Lightning exclaimed, desperation and need in her tone as she increased the pace of her fingers to as fast as she could take, her entire body beginning to tremble as she got dangerously close to the edge. She grasped her sister’s face with her other hand then, her thumb dragging down the other girl’s lips as she briefly opened her eyes to meet her gaze, begging, “Serah… Ser—!” 

But that was as far as she got, the rest of her sister’s name being cut off with a loud moan as she pitched forward, releasing all over her own hand as she panted and shook and whined. She leaned against her sister’s shoulder then, her eyes closed as she tried to regulate her breathing, and Serah’s fingers began to weave through her hair as she held her close to her body.

“I stand corrected,” Lightning breathed after a long moment’s silence. Her eyes were trained on the far wall, still a little disbelieving that they had actually just done that together. “ _That_ was the last of our boundaries disappearing into nothing… and maybe us making some kind of really screwed up decision while we were at it.”

Because it was, wasn’t it? Maybe at first it was just supposed to be some erotic fantasy that they just participated in together, but there was no denying what Serah was trying to do when she made Lightning say Fang’s name; she wanted to know if she could handle it if they decided to blur the lines between them a little more, and with how hard Lightning came and how aroused Serah actually looked from it, it became clear that maybe they didn’t subscribe to the ideal of monogamy as much as they first thought they had.

A part of them wanted to do this, wanted _them,_ and Lightning wasn’t sure how she should take that. Etro, this wasn’t supposed to happen. They were just supposed to be their friends; they weren’t supposed to look at them like anything more than that, even with how confusing things had gotten lately between the four of them.

Serah flushed then and she covered her face, groaning. “Etro, how can we—how are we supposed to look them in the eyes after doing that?” Lightning hadn’t thought of that, and now it was her turn to turn red with embarrassment. Serah was right; how could they just go down there now and pretend that everything was normal? They just got off to the thought of them, for Maker’s sake.

“Oi!” suddenly came the sound of Fang’s voice from downstairs, no doubt yelling up at them from their base. The woman always did have spectacularly bad timing. “Stop screwin’ each other and get down here; your shit’s getting cold!”

Lightning glanced over at her sister, whose cheeks were still tinged a light pink. “Guess we’re going to find out,” Lightning responded with a defeated sigh, apprehension written all over her expression. But they both knew they couldn’t just hide up there forever, and so after they pulled clothes on they finally descended the staircase, hoping that neither woman down there had heard what exactly they had done.

When they entered the kitchen Fang and Vanille were nearly done with their own breakfasts, and Fang’s brow rose as she saw the equal look of shame on the two sister’s face. “We gettin’ shy on each other now?” she asked, looking at them like she couldn’t understand where this sudden embarrassment was coming from. “Cause I hate to break it to ya, but Vanille and I are already aware of what you two like to do to one another in your spare time.”

“No, it’s—” Lightning tried, but she didn’t really have much of an excuse for the way that she was acting save telling the truth, which she was _not_ going to do, so she just cleared her throat and told her, “It’s nothing.”

“Right…” Fang drawled, sounding suspiciously disbelieving as she cleared her plate off the table and rose to her feet. “Well,” she continued, coming over to give both sisters a chaste kiss in turn like it was the most natural thing in the world, before nodding her head towards the other end of the kitchen and informing them, “Breakfast’s on the counter; serve yourselves.”

Both Farron sisters stood stock still as Fang turned to put her dish in the sink, and Vanille watched them curiously, tilting her head to the side as she called, “Fang?” Fang turned around to face her, and the girl nodded towards Lightning and Serah, whose embarrassment at not just what they had done, but the kiss from Fang that followed, began to cause their entire faces to turn bright red again.

“Alright, what the hell is up?” Fang asked, placing her hands on her hips as she stared at them expectantly. Her eyes landed on Lightning then, and she continued, “I know I said I planned to make you blush one day, Sunshine, but I only kissed you. That’s not exactly new.”

“I—I know; sorry, we just—”

“Is this about what Vanille walked in on?” Fang asked, interrupting Lightning’s failure of an explanation, which she was thankful for, as she had no idea what she was going to say. They really shouldn’t have come down here this soon, because clearly they both kept reliving it every time they looked at the other two women.

“No—” Serah began, answering that with the truth for whatever Maker-awful reason before Lightning gently jabbed her with her elbow and the girl quickly changed her story to, “—Yes! Yes, it… uh, it was very embarrassing for us.”

Great, _that_ sounded convincing. 

Fang quirked an eyebrow at them, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned back against the counter. Vanille was still staring at them as well, her head tilted just slightly to the left as she peered at them curiously. “That’s not it,” she observed to her girlfriend. “It’s not just me; it’s both of us. They can’t look at you either.”

Fuck. Lightning exhaled a long breath, twisting her hands together nervously. She knew prolonging this was just going to end up being even more painful, because Fang and Vanille really didn’t know when to let up. They’d constantly hound them until they found out what exactly it was that was bothering them, and so Lightning decided to just get out in front of it so she could at least dictate how this went.

“We… Serah and I, we’ve been discussing the possibility of, uh, _expanding_ this… little arrangement that we all have together.” If you could call what they had just done ‘discussing’ it, anyhow. But one quick look at Serah made Lightning realize they definitely were on the same page about that as her sister gave her a little encouraging head nod, because she too knew that after _that_ there was no way they could ever keep the lines between them solid anymore. 

If they were going to immerse themselves in this, then they might as well drown in it. There was no point in pretending anymore that that wasn’t where this was all leading anyhow; not after this morning. 

Vanille crossed one of her legs over the other, casually twirling one of her pigtails as she looked at them both and asked curiously, “In what way?”

Serah briefly glanced at her sister, still checking to see if they were on the same page before she looked over at Fang and said, albeit a little nervously, “Well, you said yesterday that we were all kind of— like in this polyamorous relationship together or something, and so we thought that maybe—”

“Wait a minute,” Fang interrupted, looking surprised as she glanced at Lightning. “Are we actually having this conversation right now? Because last night you seemed like you weren’t ready to.”

“You talked about this with Fang last night?” Serah asked, and now it was her turn to look at her sister in surprise, because maybe she should have mentioned it earlier, especially considering what they had just done upstairs.

“No, not—not really,” Lightning tried to explain, a little flustered by all the attention suddenly being on her. “Fang just... she asked if we maybe needed to reevaluate the boundaries of our—our agreement, after I told her that I, uh… _trusted_ her with… you.”

Serah’s brow rose at that, surprised by the meaning behind her sister’s words. 

“I’m confused; are you asking to date us?” Vanille suddenly asked, trying to figure out what exactly they were requesting of them. “Or do you just want to fuck us?” Blunt and to the point; but that was Pulsians for you. Serah and Lightning were of a different world though, and so the lack of tact was a little uncomfortable for them, as neither of them really knew how to answer that.

“We… didn’t really get that far in our discussion,” Lightning admitted finally, because what else was she supposed to say? She didn’t want to speak for Serah. 

“Well then discuss it,” Fang encouraged, waving them off; she looked intrigued by this turn of events, and impatient for it to reach its outcome. “We got time.”

“This can’t wait until later?” Lightning asked, feeling very pressured all of a sudden. “I’m starving—”

But Serah took her hand gently in hers, encouraging Lightning to follow her out of the kitchen; apparently she too was impatient in reaching an outcome to all of this, probably because it would lessen the tension between the four of them if they were finally just honest with one another. Maybe things would feel more normal; whatever that was supposed to be.

“What do you want?” Serah asked softly, keeping her voice down so neither of the woman in the other room could hear them. Lightning pursed her lips and looked away, shaking her head. This was all very strange, and not what she was expecting to do when she woke up this morning. 

“I don’t know.”

“Light,” Serah gently encouraged, touching her face as she looked into her eyes. “You won’t hurt me with the truth.”

Lightning exhaled a long breath, staring anywhere but at Serah for a long time before she finally allowed her gaze to catch hers, and responded with quiet exasperation, “What’s the point of talking about it? We both know how this is going to end. We both know it’s more complicated than just sex. They’re our family, and you know how we are with family.”

Serah smirked at that, amused by Lightning’s little incest joke. But she ran her fingers down the contour of her sister’s cheek, allowing her smirk to turn into a genuine smile as she raised herself up on her toes to give Lightning a light kiss. “I know this is strange, and if you asked me a week ago I would have—I would have _detested_ the thought of sharing you with anyone else, but it feels… okay, with them, somehow.”

Because they trusted them, because they loved them; even if it wasn’t in a strictly romantic sense, they held a level of care for Fang and Vanille that made it easier for them to find comfort in something so utterly strange.

“We can ask them to take it slow with us, if you think that’ll be easier,” Serah continued, noting the look of anxiety on her sister’s face from how fast everything was changing. She hadn’t really expected it, even though she saw this coming since they first began their little arrangement. “We don’t need to jump into bed with them right away.”

Lightning nodded, finding that to be a preferable amendment at the moment, and Serah tangled their fingers together once again as she led her back into the kitchen. Fang and Vanille were standing next to each other near the counter, whispering something to one another until the return of the two sisters caught their attention, and they turned to look at them.

“So?” Fang asked expectantly, clearly trying to make herself not look so excited, just in case the results didn’t come back in her favor. “What’s the verdict?”

Lightning chewed lightly on her bottom lip as she glanced down at Serah, who squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile in support. Taking a breath, Lightning then returned her gaze to the two women staring at her, and tentatively asked, “Would… you both be interested in dating us?”

It sounded so weird; one couple asking another to date them, but that’s what they wanted, wasn’t it? In the end, Lightning supposed it didn’t matter how it sounded, because normal had never been part of her repertoire either; not when the person she fell in love with was her younger sister.

Vanille jumped up and down and clapped her hands, causing Fang to grin widely as she responded, “In case it ain’t clear to you, _that,_ ” she nodded her head over to Vanille, who looked positively giddy as she continued to bounce on her heels. “Means hell fucking _yes._ ”

**TBC…**


	8. VIII

**CHAPTER VIII**

“I want to play with Lightning.”

That was the very first thing Vanille said after the Farron sisters’ proposition to them, and Vanille was nearly halfway towards her before Fang wrapped an arm around her girlfriend’s waist, practically picking the girl off the ground as she dragged her back over to her. “Whoa there, killer. We may have broken down the walls a bit but we still need to talk boundaries; so just relax a minute, yeah?”

Vanille pouted, clearly displeased that she had been stopped when she suddenly had this new toy that she could kiss and touch and drive absolutely insane. Lightning, on her end however, was glad that Fang stopped her. Not that—not that she would be _against_ doing anything with Vanille, because she certainly wasn’t an idiot, but she was already feeling a little overwhelmed with the changes in her life and honestly, she needed a moment to just breathe. To have everything be normal. To just _eat._

Etro, she was still starving.

Fang, to her credit, realized that she and Serah needed a bit of space right now, and so she encouraged with a head nod towards the counter, “Eat your breakfast; shit’s probably already gone cold, but it’s better than nothing. Come out into the living room when you’re done and we can talk then if you want.”

Lightning nodded appreciatively, and Fang gave her a smile before she took Vanille’s hand in hers and pulled her out of the kitchen. Serah turned towards her then, clasping her hands in her sister’s as she peered up at her. “You’re okay with this?” she asked again, just making sure. “I mean, this is… it’s what you want, right? You’re not just doing this for me?”

For her. Lightning didn’t realize what Serah meant at first, because they both agreed to this together, but once she thought about it she realized why Serah was suddenly so on board with this; after what Fang had said to her the other night, about her and Vanille loving her too, the part of Serah that was desperate to surround herself with people who loved her really needed this. She needed them, and no doubt a part of her was afraid that if she didn’t hold on to them now, that they would inevitably leave her like everyone else did.

“Like I said,” Lightning responded, glancing at the threshold that separated the kitchen from the living room, “It was going to happen eventually; might as well get out in front of it. It’ll probably be less messy this way.”

Serah bit her bottom lip softly, her brow creasing as she noted, “You don’t sound particularly enthused.”

“No, it’s not—” Lightning tried, sighing softly as she looked back at her sister. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I’m just a little…” Nervous, honestly. Things were changing so fast, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to just jump into the deep end. Vanille had already been looking at her like she was something she wanted to devour, and it was all a little… overwhelming, to be quite frank. Not that Lightning said that out loud though.

It didn’t matter though, as Serah understood what was wrong without being explicitly told. “Fang can see that you’re not completely ready yet,” she reminded her. “Don’t worry; if we tell them we want to take it one step at a time, they’ll listen.”

“Maybe Fang will, but Vanille looked ready to jump us right here.”

Serah smirked before she leaned in, gently nudging her sister’s shoulder with her own. “You realize that’s probably because she walked in on us before, right?” she reminded her, pressing her lips to the underside of Lightning’s jaw as she smiled against her skin. “Once Fang takes care of her, she’ll calm down.” 

She kissed her gently then, and Lightning closed her eyes and nodded, knowing Serah was right; Vanille was probably just a little wound up from seeing the two of them naked and… well, doing very naked things together. A light squeeze of her hand caused Lightning to open her eyes again, and Serah smiled at her as she pulled her over towards the counter. “Come on, I know you’re hungry. We’ll figure out what this all means for us later.”

The two sisters sat down to eat then, enjoying the brief reprieve from the madness of their household. It didn’t last long though however, when, as they were nearing the completion of their meal, they began to hear soft whimpers coming from the living room. Lightning’s eyes widened, momentarily unable to believe that they were really doing that right now in the common areas of the house; Fang and Vanille had always kept it to their room and, well, that one time in the kitchen, but still. And she knew it was probably their own fault, as telling them both that they wanted to date them probably diminished quite a lot of the boundaries they once had with one another, but weren’t they supposed to talk about this first?

Serah smirked, more amused by this turn of events than anything else. “See? I told you Fang would take care of her.”

Lightning shot her an exasperated look at that, but it quickly turned a bit panicked as Serah picked herself out of her chair, beginning to sneak towards the doorway. “ _Serah!_ ” Lightning hissed, trying to get the girl back there, because she couldn’t _honestly_ be considering—

“What? She saw _us,_ ” Serah rationalized in a whisper, before completely ignoring her sister’s look of utter disbelief and peeked around the corner. Lightning groaned, her elbows hitting the table as she buried her face in her hands. This was not _slow._ This was… this was voyeurism. 

Serah watched them for a long moment before she turned back towards her sister, held her fingers up to her face in a V and stuck out her tongue, apparently needing to inform Lightning with her very crude gesture that Fang was currently going down on Vanille. Lightning just looked at her like she was insane, but Serah hooked her finger and beckoned her sister over. Lightning shook her head, defiant; she was not going to _spy_ on her friends… well, girlfriends now, weren’t they? Still, if Fang and Vanille wanted to be watched, they would have invited them in there, and they hadn’t.

“Get back here,” Lightning hissed, but Serah just rolled her eyes and ignored her before she peeked around the corner again. Lightning sighed heavily, refusing to get involved in this as she got up and started clearing their plates off the table. 

But when she was heading back towards the table to sit down, Serah reached out and snatched her sister’s wrist in her hand, pulling Lightning over to her. “Serah, I’m not going to—”

“Oh, come on; you know you’ll regret it if you don’t look _once…_ ” Serah breathed against the older woman’s ear, keeping her voice low so that the two women in the living room wouldn’t realize that they were watching them. Smirking wickedly, Serah continued knowingly, “I know you’re curious, Claire.”

And, alright, of course she was; but that didn’t mean they had to violate their frie— _girlfriends’_ privacy. Given enough time, Lightning was sure they’d willingly let them see absolutely everything they had to offer. But Serah was pouting at her now, as apparently this was giving her some sort of high, and so in order to try to get the girl away from there before they both got caught and ended up absolutely mortified, Lightning relented with an irritated, “Fine. One quick look, but then we’re _done,_ do you hear me? Both of us.”

Serah didn’t look as though that would be her preferable scenario, but relented anyway with, “Okay, I promise,” as she was at least seeing that this was making Lightning fifteen different shades of uncomfortable.

Inhaling a long breath, Lightning finally allowed herself to peek her head out around the threshold of the door. Her eyes took in the sight of Vanille then, sprawled on the armchair with her legs spread, one of them thrown over Fang’s shoulder and the other over the armrest. Her hands were above her head, grasping onto the back of the chair as she writhed beneath the pleasure of Fang’s mouth, her lips parted in a soft O as she panted and whimpered and squealed. 

“Shhh,” Fang breathed, coming up for air for a moment before she climbed up her girlfriend, her hand getting lost between their bodies. “You want them to hear you? Light will flip her shit. Just…” Placing her other hand over Vanille’s mouth, Fang moved the one between their bodies, the angle in which she was at making it look like she slipped her fingers inside of her. The sound Vanille exhaled was muffled though, and Fang finished, “Let me do this quickly, yeah? Before they come back in here.”

And then she was fucking her with such force that it made Vanille’s eyes pop open in surprise, this deep moan that was exhaled being blocked so that it was barely audible, and Lightning felt her entire body flush with arousal at the sight of it. “What happened to ‘one quick look’?” Serah teased in her ear, and that at least jolted Lightning out of her stupor so she was able to finally retreat back into the kitchen.

Serah giggled softly at the reaction she provoked, and Lightning glared at her. “Not funny,” she chided, before turning away in order to try to get those images out of her head. Dishes; she should—she should clean the dishes. Maybe the floor too.

So that’s what she did, with Serah leaning against the counter and smirking the entire time like she knew the only reason Lightning was busying herself was so she didn’t have to think about what she had just witnessed. Once the soft sounds the two women were making in the other room ceased, the two sisters waited a respectable amount of time before finally venturing out there, trying to act like nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Hey,” Fang greeted, and Lightning was surprised by how utterly _natural_ she was acting when not five minutes ago she’d had her fingers buried entirely inside Vanille. Fang nodded at them in acknowledgement though, asking, “You guys ready, or do you wanna do this later? We’re not in any hurry, so it’s on you when we do this.”

Lightning was going to tell them later, preferably when she could finally look at them without seeing pornographic images in her head, but Serah didn’t give her the chance as she gave Fang a soft smile and said, “Now’s fine; we don’t have anywhere to be anyway,” as she plopped down on the couch, pulling her sister down next to her. 

Lightning shot her a look, but Serah pointedly ignored it as she chose not to meet her gaze; instead she trained her eyes on Vanille, who was currently on her knees on the armchair, brow furrowed as she looked over the back of it. “Did you lose something?” Serah asked, and it sounded innocent enough until Vanille bent further down, trying to get a better look at something on the floor.

“Um, no, I just…” But that was all Lightning heard of that lie anyway, because the further Vanille bent down the more obvious it got why Serah was staring at her, and what exactly it was that she had lost; her underwear. Lightning’s mouth dropped open, and the reaction caused Fang’s brow to knit before she turned and took notice of Vanille’s accidental exhibitionism. 

“Vanille!” she hissed, grabbing her girlfriend and pulling her down into a seated position. “You’re flashing everyone in the bloody room!”

“It’s not my fault; I don’t know where you threw them!” Vanille defended, although did look a little bit embarrassed by her accidental exposure as she tugged on the seam of her skirt, making sure that it stayed down this time. 

Fang sighed heavily, dropping to her hands and knees as she started looking under the furniture for Vanille’s missing underwear. She found it under the armchair, and as she dangled it in the air on a solitary finger, Fang looked at them and apologized, “Uh… sorry. Know we usually do this shit in our room but Vanille was kinda… worked up. Figured talkin’ would go better if I, y’know, fixed that first.”

Vanille snatched her underwear out of Fang’s hand and stepped into it before pulling it up her thighs. “I could have talked fine before, you know,” she defended, but Fang just looked at her like she had to be kidding her.

“Yeah right; back in the kitchen you looked like you were ready to hump Lightning’s leg.”

Vanille rolled her eyes, picking up a pillow from off the chair before throwing it at her head. Fang caught it with ease, snickering. It was Serah who spoke though, her voice soft as she placed a gentle hand on her sister’s arm and told them, “It’s okay, we don’t mind.”

Fang looked a little surprised by that and looked at Lightning to confirm it, since generally if anyone was to have a problem with it, it would be her. But Lightning waved her off, trying desperately not to think about what she had witnessed, less she wished to go beat red again. “Just do whatever you want; it’s your house too.”

Fang looked almost impressed by that, considering she seemed sure Lightning was going to tell her to keep it to their room, and so she nodded a bit in acknowledgement as she responded cheerfully with, “Sorted.” She got to her feet then, moving over to flop down on the opposite end of the couch as the pair of sisters.

“Alright,” she began, crossing one leg over the other as she looked at the two women across from her. “So. We were gonna talk boundaries; either of you got any, or is this kind of a free-for-all fuckfest?”

“No— _no,_ ” Lightning responded quickly, needing them both to realize that she didn’t agree to participate in orgy parties in the living room. Well, alright, she sort of did; but not this soon. This was new for them, and while Serah suddenly seemed a lot more content with their new arrangement than she was, that didn’t mean that she was ready for either of them to dive head first into anyone’s… areas. “We don’t—I mean, we _will_ , probably, but right now we just kind of…”

“Want to take it one step at a time?” Fang finished for her, realizing what Lightning’s stuttering, practically incoherent mess was supposed to be. “That’s fine; figured you’d ask for somethin’ like that. But just so we’re all clear, I gotta ask; is this relationship interchangeable between the four of us, or are some people not allowed to do things with others?”

It was a valid question, given how their arrangement was set up previously, but Serah and Lightning just glanced at one another before the younger girl told them, knowing just by her sister’s look that she was speaking for both of them, “It’s interchangeable.”

“Privately, or only in front of each other?” Vanille asked then, needing the distinction to be made as she shifted her position in the chair, folding one of her legs underneath her. “Like if I wanted to sleep with Serah, would you have to be there to watch?”

“I…” Lightning tried, searching her brain for an answer. She didn’t find one though, and so she answered honestly, “I don’t know. I don’t know what would be easier for us, at least at first.”

“Speakin’ of easier,” Fang interjected, leaning her elbows on her knees as she looked at them both. “You guys aren’t… y’know, used to all this; not like we are. Not that we’ve been in a polygamous relationship before either, but we’ve slept with other people pretty often, so jealousy’s not really an issue with us. With you guys though, it might take a little bit. I know kissing’s fine and all right now, but once someone’s fingers are inside someone else, things might get a little messier.”

Vanille giggled at the double entendre, and Fang shot her a smirk before she got serious again and glanced back at them. “All I’m saying is that it’s really fuckin’ important right now that nobody keeps score,” she told them. “Like if someone fucks someone else first, don’t try to ‘retaliate’ by fuckin’ somebody else. That’s a good way to turn this into some kind of bloody competition, and that’s not what a relationship is, even if it’s between four different people. So to try to minimize that, maybe we should just… keep things a little private, at least for now.”

“I’m not saying lie to each other,” Fang continued quickly, realizing she needed to make that distinction by the way Lightning’s eyebrows nearly raised clear off her forehead. “Just kinda employ a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ kinda mentality for right now, at least until we’re all comfortable with our new situation. Cause the second someone gets jealous, this shit’s gonna fall to pieces. Hopefully it won’t be relevant anymore once we’ve all been together at the same time, but for right now I think this is the best way to go.”

Lightning glanced at Serah, trying to gauge her opinion of Fang’s suggestion. The girl was biting lightly on her tongue, thinking it over for a bit before she finally caught her sister’s gaze and gave her a slight nod, finding those terms to be acceptable; at least for the moment. Lightning just hoped Fang was right about that being a less messy way to go about things, but she trusted her sister’s judgment and looked back at the brunette as she agreed, “Alright, that sounds fair.”

“Okay, so what’re you thinkin’ about the sexual boundaries here; nothin’ above the waist for now?”

Vanille scrunched up her nose at that, apparently not fond of that rule, but Lightning interjected with, “No, that’s—we don’t have to do that,” she told them, believing that might cause more problems if one of them were to take it too far, and someone else ended up finding out. “I’m not—I’m not saying we need specific boundaries, just a… natural progression of things. I mean, I’m not ready for all of us to have an orgy on the living room floor right now, but if I was kissing one of you and it turned into, I don’t know, something _more_ than that, that would be—that’d be okay. Right?” She asked, double checking with her sister. “That’d be okay?”

Serah nodded in agreement, apparently not fond of the specific boundaries rule either. But in fairness, it did have a high chance of backfiring on them if they weren’t careful about it. “Yeah, that’d be okay.”

“…Okay.”

Lightning caught Fang’s gaze then, and the brunette shot her a look that clearly said, “You know I’m comin’ for you first then, right?” Because even with a ‘natural progression’ of things, she and Fang were already there; Fang’s apparently wanted to screw her ever since she first laid eyes on her, and last night Lightning admitted to wanting to sleep with her as well. But Lightning just shot her a look that said, “Behave,” because a ‘natural progression’ did _not_ mean a quick fuck at the first chance they had to be alone. She didn’t want to get it out of her system; she wanted to… she wanted to savor it. It’d be the first time for them, after all; and maybe Lightning sounded sentimental right now, but she really didn’t care. She wanted the things, the moments in her life, to matter.

“We should go out tonight!” Vanille exclaimed suddenly, looking excited about her sudden idea. “Like a date, but with all of us!”

“We still need to keep our cover relationships though,” Serah reminded her, sounding disappointed that she had to be the one to mention the unfortunate truth. “We can’t—we can’t just start switching up who we’re with in public, what if we run into someone we know?”

“Not if we go a few towns over,” Fang rationalized. “I mean, what are the chances we’ll run into someone we know like an hour or two away?”

“Still, Serah and I, we can’t…” Lightning started, before she exhaled a soft sigh. “We can never do that. Besides, what will people think if we keep… I don’t know, constantly switching who we’re all over? You think that won’t draw attention?”

“Here’s a question for ya, why do you care what people think?” Fang questioned, looking at her like she was being ridiculous for even using that as an excuse.

“Because they’re people?”

“People who don’t know you and you’ll never see again,” Vanille rationalized and, alright, she did have a point, but still, she knew she wouldn’t be comfortable with people staring at them and judging them; she had enough fear about that as it was when it came to her and Serah. Still…

“Well the me and Serah point still stands.”

“Light, no one will know you’re related—”

“We look alike!”

“So?” Fang countered. “Like normal people don’t ever date people they look like; that’s called narcissism, Sunshine.”

Lightning shot her a disbelieving look, but Serah turned towards her then, weaving their fingers together as she looked up at her and said, “I want… I want to go.” Lightning’s brow rose at that, because certainly she could see how problematic that could be, right? But Serah just squeezed her hand and continued, “I want to try. If it’s—if it ends up being uncomfortable we can always go back to our regular arrangement, but I really want to go on a date with… _all_ of my girlfriends. That sounds nice.”

Fang and Vanille smiled at the term Serah used, and Lightning still wanted to tell her no, that it was too risky, but with the way she was looking at her, she didn’t know how. She didn’t want to deny her sister happiness, and this seemed like it would make her very happy. “Fine,” she finally relented, knowing it was three against one anyway, and that the decisions in their relationship were probably always going to be majority rules now. 

Serah smiled at her, leaning up to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. “Thank you,” she breathed, and Lightning could do nothing else but nod, because she knew that at the end of the day, she was always going to want to make her sister happy.

[x]

The car ride was long. Fang had chosen this nightclub that was nearly two hours away, figuring that the further away it was, the better Lightning would feel about it. However, the drive was starting to make Vanille restless, and a little over an hour in she decided to announce, “I’m bored,” as she took off her seat belt and climbed into the backseat with Lightning and Serah.

“Vanille!” Fang reprimanded, trying to keep a hold of the wheel as her girlfriend’s ass knocked into her shoulder on the way back there. “You wanna run me off the bloody road? Sit down!”

“I’m sitting, I’m sitting!” Vanille defended as she plopped between the two sisters, shooting Fang an innocent look through the reflection of the rearview mirror. “See?”

“If you don’t chill I’m makin’ you DD for the way back. Do a puzzle or something if you’re bored,” Fang responded, grabbing an old magazine from the center console before throwing it back at her. Vanille rolled her eyes as it hit her in the chest, before she took it and threw it on the floor, apparently uninterested in the brunette’s suggestion. Fang sighed.

“Who _is_ the designated driver for the way back?” Serah asked then, realizing they hadn’t discussed it.

“Me,” Fang answered.

“But you’re driving up here,” Lightning protested, not finding that very fair on the woman. If she had known that was the case, then _she_ would have offered to drive to the club. But since it was too late now, all she could offer instead was, “I can do it on the way back if you want.”

Fang snorted. “Yeah, right; _you_ , Sunshine, definitely need all the help you can get to relax, and to be honest I don’t trust either of them with my car. I don’t even know if Serah knows how to drive.”

“I know how to drive!”

“Hey, I’m a good driver!” Vanille protested, at the very same time Serah said something, but Fang just shot her a disbelieving look through the rearview mirror, which caused Vanille to stick out her tongue at her before hmphing and folding her arms over her chest in protest.

“Like I said, I’m drivin’. Doesn’t matter to me anyway; I don’t need alcohol to have a good time.”

The four women were silent for a little while after that, just listening to the music as they drove down the road. Apparently though, Vanille was still very bored and was attempting to rectify that by tracing soft, teasing circles on Lightning’s exposed thigh. Lightning tried to ignore her at first, because she knew the second she looked at her she would probably have a tongue halfway down her throat and Fang would probably yell at them about distractions while she was driving, but then Vanille’s nails dragged over the curvature of her thigh, finding their home on the inside instead of the outside, and Lightning was forced to look at her. If nothing else, then to tell her to stop before Fang threw something at their heads.

But Vanille wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at Serah, who was practically slumped into her seat, legs gently falling open as Vanille’s _other_ hand got lost up her skirt. Lightning’s brows rose as she watched her sister’s breathing hitch in the back of her throat, and Serah turned her head to look at Lightning over Vanille’s shoulder, giving her a small smile to let her know that it was alright. Vanille turned then, her gaze meeting Lightning’s before she leaned in, capturing the soldier’s lips with her own as she continued to touch both of the sisters _dangerously_ close to the apex of their thighs. 

Lightning knew Serah was watching them because she made a small sound of approval as she watched Vanille kiss her, and Lightning knew this was insane, as they were in the _car_ and this wasn’t really indicative of _slow,_ but a part of her kind of liked the thought of Serah enjoying watching her be with someone else, and so she parted her lips, allowing Vanille’s tongue to slide into her mouth.

Letting her legs fall apart a little more, she felt Vanille take the opportunity to brush the pads of her fingers over her underwear. The gentle touch caused Lightning to shudder appreciatively before she kissed the girl a little firmer, and then suddenly Vanille must have done the same thing to Serah, because her sister exhaled a needy moan in response that, unfortunately, grabbed Fang’s attention.

“Vanille, what the hell are you doing?” she demanded, glancing into the rearview mirror again and looking exasperated by what she saw. “What part of ‘slow’ didn’t you understand? You’re gonna end up freakin’ them out.”

“What, I’m not in their underwear!” Vanille defended after she pulled away from Lightning, holding up her hands to show her innocence. Fang rolled her eyes.

“Yeah well, if you three horny slags end up getting me pulled over, I’m leaving you guys on the side of the road. Keep it in your pants for another half hour, damn.”

Lightning pursed her lips in guilt as Vanille smirked and Serah blushed. “Sorry,” they all said, practically in unison; although hers and Serah’s seemed more sincere than Vanille’s, who apparently thought she didn’t have to really apologize so long as she made up for it. And so she leaned forward between the seats and held out her hands in offering to the other woman as she asked, “You wanna know what they smell like…?”

“ _No!_ ” both Lightning and Serah exclaimed, both of them putting a hand on Vanille’s shoulder to force her to sit back down. Fang laughed at the severity of that reaction.

“I probably would have said no, but seeing how much it’d embarrassed you both, I kinda want to now.”

Lightning shot her a glare through the reflection of the mirror. “You better not. That’s just… weird.” She scrunched up her nose at the thought of it, as it kinda reminded her of panty-sniffing pervs, but Fang just continued to laugh at her reaction. 

“You really gotta loosen up, Light.”

“No, if you want to know what I smell like you can find out when you go down on me like any other normal person!”

Fang quirked an eyebrow at that. “You offerin’? Because I’ll pull this car over right now.”

Lightning flushed a little, sinking into her seat as suddenly everyone’s eyes were on her. “I’m just… saying,” she mumbled, before she had to resist the urge to kick the back of the woman’s seat as she folded her arms across her chest and snapped, “Shut up.”

Fang smirked.

When they finally got there, Vanille jumped out of the car like she was desperate for freedom, for space, before she stretched her arms to the sky and twirled around. “Can we stay outside for a little while?” she asked, apparently not ready to be contained somewhere else. 

“Yeah, for a minute if you want,” Fang answered, and Vanille’s smile lit up her entire face as she grasped Serah’s hands in her, pulling her towards her as she started dancing with her in the parking lot. Serah giggled, allowing herself to be twirled on the spot.

Lightning just watched them with a small smile on her face, glad that they both seemed happy. Maybe they did make the right decision after all; maybe this would end up being the best thing for them. 

Suddenly a shiver ran through her body from the temperature though, and Lightning wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the car. While this winter had been unusually warm, and it had only briefly snowed once this season, the temperature still wasn’t high enough to not warrant being mostly covered, which Lightning unfortunately was not. 

“You shouda worn a jacket,” Fang told her, taking note of the other woman’s goose bumps. “Or at least more clothes.”

“Serah picked it out,” Lightning admitted, gently tugging on the black, over the shoulder dress that was tight to her form until about mid-thigh. Dresses weren’t usually her thing, but Serah liked her in them, so she obliged. Besides, she had to admit that she did look good in it. “And then she told me I couldn’t wear a jacket because nothing I owned matched.”

Fang snorted at that. “Well we’ll be inside soon,” she rationalized, which was what Serah had told her when Lightning tried to protest against it. “But in the meantime…” Fang, who had decided against her usual attire of a sari this evening, shrugged off her own jacket then – this little leather number that went insanely well with her skin tight pants and white tank – before finally wrapping it around Lightning’s shoulders.

Lightning shot her a small, grateful smile; already, she felt much warmer. “…Thanks.”

“It’s no problem, I run hot blooded anyway; think most people from Pulse do.” Which was obvious as Vanille wasn’t wearing a jacket either; just a colorful tankini and a matching skirt that was a little shy of being a scandalous length. She was covered in jewelry though, and it glinted beneath the moonlight as she continued to twirl her sister around and around. 

“Your sister’s got good taste though,” Fang murmured appreciatively, moving closer to her until she had Lightning trapped between herself and the car. Her eyes slowly dragged up the length of Lightning’s body, causing the woman’s breath to catch in the back of her throat by how predatory Fang looked. When she finally caught Lightning’s gaze though, she told her in a low tone, “But as good as you look in that dress, I’d much rather tear it off with my teeth.”

Lightning swallowed, but told herself that she had no reason to be nervous; it was just Fang, and she was her girlfriend now. One of them, anyway. And so Lightning straightened her spine a little bit, deciding that she was no one’s prey, but a catch that the woman had to work for, and leaned in a little to brush her lips delicately against Fang’s as she breathed, “Play your cards right and I might let you.”

Fang grinned wickedly, enjoying this new side of Lightning. “Touché.” She flicked her tongue out then to briefly tease the soldier’s lips, but when Lightning parted them in offering, Fang’s smirk widened; apparently, she just wanted to drive her insane. Instead she gently bit down on Lightning’s bottom lip, but it was only brief; instead, when she pulled back she told her, “Y’know, I helped pick out Vanille’s outfit too.”

“You did?” Lightning asked, because it seemed like something Vanille would wear anyway. 

But Fang’s smirk just widened, like she was sitting on this devious little secret, before she leaned in and whispered in Lightning’s ear her amendment of, “Well, I told her what _not_ to wear, anyway…” Lightning’s brow furrowed, not understanding what Fang meant for a minute before it hit her.

“You _didn’t._ ” Vanille was going commando? That was… that was so completely insane, given the outfit the girl was wearing. “She’s in a skirt, Fang!”

“That’s what makes it better,” Fang responded, chuckling a little as she wrapped her arms around Lightning’s waist. “I told her that if she accidentally flashes anyone other than the three of us, that I was going to take it as a personal insult and not touch her for a week.”

Lightning’s mouth dropped open. 

“What?” Fang defended, looking amused by Lightning’s reaction. “You think she doesn’t do stuff like that to me all the time? It’s a game, Light; and you know how Vanille likes her games.”

But Lightning was still having trouble believing that because honestly, how could Vanille be comfortable walking around like that, knowing that one wrong slip and she’d be flashing half the club? So she shook her head, shooting Fang a disbelieving look as she said, “You’re messing with me.”

Fang just shot her a look that said, ‘Oh, yeah?’ before she called out, “Vanille!” The girl in question turned around then, letting go of Serah’s hands as she diverted her attention, and Fang told her, “Light doesn’t believe that you’re not wearing anything underneath that skirt.”

Serah’s mouth dropped open at the information, her cheeks flushing a light pink as her eyes immediately trained on Vanille’s ass, which was about an inch and a half from being exposed already. Vanille grinned widely though, sauntering over to the pair of women as she held out her hand in offering. “Give me your hand; I’ll prove it to you.”

Lightning nearly choked on her own breath. “No, that’s—I’m… I’m fine, thank you. I believe you; you don’t have to do that.” Because Etro, she was _not_ ready for that in the slightest. Besides, they were in the middle of a damn parking lot, for Maker’s sake! Honestly, how Fang and Vanille had absolutely no shame to speak of, she had no idea.

Vanille just smirked though, not taking offense to the rejection at all as she winked at her and promised, “Later, then.” And, quite suddenly, Lightning felt like she needed a drink. 

They made it into the club shortly after that, paying a little bit extra for the VIP area, which was more secluded. Fang thought it’d be a good idea, since there were fewer people and it might make them feel more comfortable, as it was less likely they’d be stared at. Which was a good plan; at least at first. After a couple drinks however, Vanille decided that she couldn’t bear sitting still anymore, and stood directly in front of them as she began to dance.

They were sitting on a long couch, Serah nestled between Lightning and Fang as the three of them began to watch Vanille with growing interest. The girl danced like she lived her life, her body flowing effortless without boundaries or restrictions. Vanille craved happiness, freedom, and it showed through her movements as she reached her hands into the air, swaying her hips to the beat. It was both innocent and sexual at the same time, and Lightning couldn’t take her eyes off of her.

Vanille turned around then, bending completely over as she began to slowly run her hands up her legs as she righted herself, and Lightning felt her breath leave her as she was confronted with a very clear view of the girl’s glistening sex. Thankfully they were in the far corner of the room so no one else could see what was being unashamedly displayed to them, and that at least allowed Lightning the ability to enjoy it; otherwise, she would be far too worried that they might catch someone’s wandering eye. 

Serah exhaled something that sounded like a whimper then, although whether that was because of Vanille or the fact that Fang was now kissing her neck, Lightning couldn’t be sure. More than likely both. Vanille turned around then, this sinfully delicious smirk on her face as she took in the sight before her, which now included Serah turning her head so she could meet Fang for a passionate kiss. As Fang pulled the girl on top of her so she could straddle her lap, Vanille swung her legs on either side of Lightning and planted herself on top of her, still moving her hips as she danced.

Lightning’s breath caught in the back of her throat as she watched her, completely enraptured. She didn’t know if it was because of the amount of liquor she had already drank, or the fact that maybe this relationship between the four of them was turning out to be far more natural than she first thought it would, but in that moment Lightning couldn’t care less what Fang and Serah were doing; she had her own show to enjoy.

Vanille encouraged her to put her hands on her hips, continuing to grind them in the air as she hovered just a little above her thighs. She smiled wide at the look she was receiving, finding Lightning’s undeniable lust at her display very flattering. But then the beat changed, the bass getting heavier and more repetitive, and suddenly Vanille’s hands were in the air again as she bounced up and down on her lap, the movement causing her center to come into contact with Lightning’s bare legs. Lightning groaned in need, her fingertips digging into Vanille’s ass as she pulled her flush against her. Her breathing was starting to labor, and Vanille stopped moving for a moment as she smirked, leaning down to place a hot, open mouthed kiss at her collar bone.

“Do I make you wet, Lightning?” she asked, the question hot against her ear as Vanille pressed her lips to her skin. She gently nipped at the woman’s earlobe then, and Lightning exhaled a soft moan as she allowed her fingers to roam the expanse of the girl’s thighs.

“…Yes.” After all, there was no point in lying about it. Her voice broke around the word though, her eyes closing momentarily as Vanille continued to nip and suck at the flesh of her neck. But then she moved, dusking her lips over Lightning’s before they kissed; just once, briefly, before Vanille pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

“I know you like them,” she breathed, her gaze shifting briefly to the two other women that were currently locked in a heavy make out session. “But I think if you let me try, I can make you like me too.”

“I… I do,” Lightning stuttered, the words cracking in her throat from how incredibly turned on she was in that moment. Still, it didn’t overshadow the fact that Vanille was obviously feeling a little out of place; at least when it came to her. In that moment though, that concept seemed absolutely ridiculous, especially considering right now she could feel how soaked she was, and it was entirely from Vanille’s little display. So Lightning decided to tell her, gently tucking a stray hair behind the girl’s ear, “I do like you; right now, you’re… you’re the only thing I can see.”

Vanille smiled wide then, the gesture lighting up her entire face. It made her look beautiful. But then suddenly it was like the mood switched, and instead of this little temptress that sat astride her, Vanille was back to being an excitable teenager as she got off her lap and requested, “Come to the bathroom with me!” as she pulled on her hand.

Lightning, not really expecting that kind of switch, just kind of stumbled over her response with a, “What? Why?” as she tried to rearrange her emotions to comply with the change in mood. 

Vanille just looked at her like she was being foolish for asking something like that. “Because girls go to the bathrooms in pairs, silly. Come on!” And then she was pulling on Lightning’s hand, forcing her off the couch and across the room as they headed towards the facilities. Lightning looked back at the two women on the couch as she was pulled away, but it didn’t even seem like they noticed that they had left, and so Lightning turned back around and followed Vanille to their destination.

Unlike the downstairs, The VIP area only had a men’s room, a women’s room, and a gender neutral single-person bathroom, no doubt not needing much more than that because they only allowed a small number of people up there at a time. Lightning wasn’t really sure which one Vanille pulled her into, but once they were inside Vanille turned around, locked the door, and then began to advance on her all in what seemed like a blink of an eye.

Lightning, who wasn’t really expecting this turn of events, (although she probably should have, because honestly), ended up taking a few steps backwards until her back was pressed against the far wall, her eyes widening a little as she watched Vanille run her hand through the apex of her thighs and then hold up her glistening fingers to Lightning in offering. 

“I _really_ liked the way you looked at me when I danced,” she breathed, lightly tracing Lightning’s lips with her arousal until instinct took over, and the woman allowed them to slip entirely into her mouth. Vanille groaned as she watched Lightning clean them off one by one, before finally removing her hand and replacing it with her lips instead, moaning at the taste of herself on Lightning’s tongue.

If she was thinking clearly, Lightning would probably be shocked at not only Vanille’s shameless seduction, but how quickly she complied to it. She wasn’t really the type to do things like this in public, but what else was she supposed to do, when she could smell and taste Vanille and the girl was practically _begging_ for her to have more? She was only human.

Still, as Vanille tugged the strap down from Lightning’s shoulder, pulling the fabric down enough to expose her breasts, Lightning had to ask through ragged breaths, “I… thought… you wanted… Serah…” Because they had been all over each other since they began this little charade, and she had assumed it would be only natural for them to first gravitate towards the people they were most comfortable with.

“I hate doing what’s expected of me,” Vanille answered breathlessly, her hands beginning to palm Lightning’s breasts. “It’s so boring.”

And, well, Lightning couldn’t say that she was surprised by that answer.

She met Vanille in a fierce kiss again, grasping onto the girl’s bare ass as she pulled her flush against her, feeling her taught nipples scrape against the fabric of the Oerbian’s shirt. Breaking the kiss for a moment, Lightning demanded through labored breaths, “Lose the shirt,” because she really didn’t find it fair that she was the only one topless in this scenario. Vanille immediately pulled the offending garment over her head and tossed it to the ground, and Lightning didn’t bother dwelling on what they were doing or how far they should go with each other, because it was she who had asked for a natural progression of things. And while she certainly didn’t think she’d be doing something like this this soon, she found she definitely didn’t hate it as she captured Vanille’s lips with her own, cupped the girl’s breasts in her hands, and led her over to the counter next to the sink. 

When Vanille’s back hit the surface Lightning picked her up, placing her on top of it as they continued to kiss and touch and grasp for one another. Vanille spread her legs on either side of Lightning as she ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it back for a moment before she began to suck hard on the skin beneath her ear. Lightning gasped, her fingernails digging into the girl’s thigh as she allowed her to mark her. But then suddenly firm hands connected with her shoulders, pushing her back a half a step as Vanille stared at her and requested breathlessly, “Strip. I want to see _everything_.”

Lightning flushed, averting her eyes as suddenly a sense of anxiety invaded the pit of her stomach. “I… can’t,” she apologized, knowing that’s not what Vanille wanted to hear. “I can’t be totally naked in here, in—in public. It’ll…” _Freak her out_ ; quite a lot if she was to be honest. The dress being pulled down was one thing; she could easily cover herself if someone were to pick the lock or something and burst in here, but everything else? Vanille might be comfortable with it, but she wasn’t. It would make her too paranoid, and she wouldn’t be able to do anything with her because of it.

“I promise I’ll let you see me at home,” Lightning tired, knowing she was probably ruining the mood. Sometimes, modesty wasn’t the funnest thing to have. “Are you… angry with me?”

But Vanille shook her head, understanding that Lightning didn’t have the same comfort level as her. Instead she scooted back against the mirror, putting her feet on the counter as she spread her legs for her. Lightning felt like she forgot how to breathe, and it definitely didn’t get any easier as Vanille ran her fingers through her folds, using two of them to spread herself open for her.

“Can you still play with me?” she asked innocently, biting softly on her bottom lip as she watched Lightning practically fall over. “…Or do I have to play with myself?”

While Lightning _certainly_ wouldn’t be against watching her do that, right then, she was pretty sure just the sight of it would drive her to madness. “No, I—I want to play with you,” she struggled to get out, eyes still trained on the apex of the girl’s thighs, watching her gently stroke herself.

Vanille grinned, removing her hand from between her legs as she gently snaked her tongue out to taste herself on her fingers. “How do you want me…?” she asked, and Bhunie's fucking testicles, how the hell was it that the seemingly most innocent one between the four of them, with her airy voice and bubbly personality, ended up being the most tempting seductress Lightning had ever come across? It was like Vanille did this professionally or something.

But she was offered something, and Lightning took that offer seriously as she considered her options. Finally she looked at her and she extended her hand, encouraging Vanille to take it. She did, and Lightning helped her off the counter before she grasped her hips, turning her around so that her pelvic bone hit the edge of the counter. “Bend over,” she instructed, gaining confidence the longer this encounter continued. “Watch yourself in the mirror. I want you to see exactly what you look like when I make you come.”

Vanille groaned with approval and immediately did as instructed, spreading her legs into a wide stance as she bent over the counter. Lightning took up residence next to her, pressing her hips into Vanille’s ass as she allowed a solitary finger to run up through the woman’s folds, then further to trace the crack of her ass. Vanille whimpered in need, pressing her hips into her touch as she begged, “Spank me.”

Lightning’s brow rose. “Seriously?” She had never really done that before, but if there was one thing she was quickly learning, it was that Vanille had a long list of kinks.

Vanille nodded, biting down on her bottom lip as her eyes pleaded with the other woman’s reflection in the mirror. And so Lightning allowed the palm of her hand to connect with the girl’s ass, lurching her forward a bit as Vanille exhaled a loud moan. “Harder,” she begged, and Lightning delivered. She spanked her a few more times in rapid succession, until Vanille’s ass was reddened and her hand throbbed. Vanille cried out each and every time, the sounds getting louder and more desperate as she dragged her nails against the marble countertop. 

“Fuck me!” she finally shouted, the loud music from the other side of the door hopefully masking the girl’s sounds, and Lightning slipped two fingers inside of her as she began pounding into her with the same amount of force that she delivered in her slaps. The girl was so wet that she could easily fit a third and so she did, feeling Vanille’s tight muscles clench around her fingers as she cried out Lightning’s name. 

If you would have asked her weeks ago if she could ever see herself doing this, Lightning would have laughed in your face and said no; because Vanille was just her friend, just her cute little friend who was dating Fang, but _Etro_ , ‘cute’ would not be the word Lightning would use to describe her anymore. Vanille was breathtakingly sexy; a complete freak in the sack with absolutely no shame to speak of, and Lightning loved making her scream. 

“Don’t stop; oh— _fuck_ , Lightning, I… Harder, _harder!_ ” she squealed, watching herself in the mirror as the force of Lightning’s thrusts caused her breasts to bounce and her hair to fall in her face. She was tightening around her fingers, and Lightning knew she was close so she corkscrewed them inside of her, causing Vanille to cry out with pleasure before she was thrusting her hand in and out of her so fast that she could hear the constant clicking of wetness against her palm.

Vanille came with a scream, slamming her hand down on the counter as her orgasm wracked her entire body. And then she collapsed, slumping against the surface as she struggled to find her breath. Just the sight of it made Lightning feel infinite, and after she pulled her fingers from Vanille, she brought them to her lips to clean them off. 

It seemed to take a while until Vanille could finally move, so Lightning moved towards the sink and actually cleaned her hand more properly as she looked down at the girl and smirked. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m _great,_ ” Vanille panted, her voice sounding airy and light as her cheek was pressed against the coolness of the counter. Lightning bit down on her bottom lip as she looked at her; she didn’t—she didn’t want to _rush_ her or anything, but she was pretty sure that if she didn’t get touched soon she was probably going to implode.

But Vanille finally righted herself, turning around before she lightly fisted Lightning’s dress in her hand and pulled her into a kiss. Lightning kissed her back in desperation, pressing her lips against hers a little harder, but Vanille ended up pulling back and saying, “Wait.”

“What?” Lightning asked impatiently, her breathing already labored with lust as she looked at her like she couldn’t believe they were having a conversation _now_ , of all times.

“You… you’re not used to this,” Vanille told her, sounding a little apologetic. “And I think that once you… really _think_ about what we just did, you might feel a little guilty, y’know? So I think it’s better for now if you let Serah be the one who makes you come.”

“You’re serious?” Lightning asked, not believing Vanille was really saying this to her. But the girl nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

“I really, _really_ want to,” she told her, needing Lightning to know that this wasn’t because she didn’t want to touch her. “But I… I want this to work, with all of us. I really love it, so I don’t want what we just did to cause problems between you guys. Let Serah be the one to touch you; let her have that part of you for now. Have it be just hers.”

Lightning looked at her, a part of her just utterly disbelieving that she was being told no. But at the same time she appreciated Vanille so much for doing it, because she was probably right; once she had a chance to think about what they had done, she would feel incredibly guilty about it. Maybe they weren’t going ‘slow’ in the way Lightning thought they would, but they were doing it in a different way all the same. Right now, the only person who should be touching her was Serah; she deserved that part of her, at least until they got more used to their arrangement. 

So Lightning nodded her understanding, and Vanille smiled and gave her a little push. “Go find her.”

Lightning pulled her dress back up, quickly fixing her hair before she did what Vanille instructed, and left the bathroom to go find her sister. However, the first person she found was Fang, who smirked at her and asked, “So where have _you_ been?” just before Lightning wrapped her arms around the woman’s neck and kissed her hard on the mouth.

Honestly, she was just really pent up, and sticking her tongue down Fang’s throat as a pit stop on the way to Serah sounded like a really good idea.

When they broke though, Fang’s tongue sneaked out to trace the corner of her lips before she chuckled and responded, “Well that answers that question; you taste like Vanille.” Lightning knew she should probably feel embarrassed by that, but the only thing she could really concern herself with at the moment was the incessant throbbing between her thighs.

“Where’s Serah?” she asked impatiently, looking around.

“Gettin’ another drink; she should be back in a—” But Fang didn’t get to finish her sentence, because suddenly Lightning took off towards the bar, weaving through a small crowd of people on the dance floor in order to get to her.

Serah still looked like she was waiting to order, and so when her eyes landed on her sister and she smiled in greeting, Lightning got straight to the point and kissed her hard right there, in front of everyone, her tongue demanding entrance into her sister’s mouth as she prayed no one realized that they were related. Serah seemed shocked at first, but it was short lasting as she grasped her sister’s hips and kissed her back with just as much passion, just as much feeling as she allowed herself to be pressed against the edge of the bar.

When they finally broke for air, Lightning pressed her forehead against her sister’s and told her, not caring how desperate she sounded, “I need you. _Now._ ”

Serah blinked, surprise washing over her features as she asked, “Vanille didn’t finish you?” because of course she could taste the girl on her lips; Fang could, after all. Perhaps she should have thought this through a little better. 

Lightning shook her head though, needing Serah to know that she hadn’t gone _that_ far at least. “I want _you,_ ” she told her. But then she paused, realizing that her kiss just revealed something that Fang warned them against doing, and her brow crumpled as she asked, “…Are you angry with me?”

This time, it was Serah’s turn to shake her head. “I wasn’t exactly innocent with Fang,” she revealed, not saying too much, as Lightning didn’t need the specifics of how far they had gone together, but saying enough to ease Lightning of her guilt. Serah looked up at her then, gently chewing on her bottom lip as she asked her, “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere,” Lightning breathed, feeling like she might die if she wasn’t touched within the next sixty seconds. “ _Here,_ I don’t care!”

Serah laughed at that, before she gently cupped her sister’s cheeks and noted, “Wow, she really messed you up, didn’t she?” Smirking, she trailed her fingers over Lightning’s jawline before she leaned in and breathed against her lips, “Don’t worry, Claire; I’ll take care of you. I’ll _always_ take care of you…”

And she did. Twice.

**TBC…**


	9. IX

**CHAPTER IX**

When Lightning awoke the next morning, the first thing she realized was that she wasn’t in her own bed. The second thing she realized was that there was a body next to her, and Lightning immediately sat up, briefly panicking because she couldn’t for the life of her remember how she had gotten there. Or home last night, for that matter; it all seemed like such a blur.

The abrupt movement caused the woman next to her to wake up, grumbling irritably about the rude awakening when she ‘just wanted some bloody sleep’, and as Lightning looked down and realized that it was _Fang_ who was lying next to her, the first thing she did was exclaim loudly, “Seven hells, did I fuck _everyone_ last night?!”

Fang blinked the sleep from her eyes as she looked at her, but then her brain seemed to catch up to the situation and she let out a long laugh. “Relax, Light; we just shared a bed,” she told her, her voice husked with sleep, which at least made Lightning breathe a little easier. If she couldn’t remember sleeping with Fang, she would have been really angry with herself. “You were fuckin’ cocked and passed out in the car on the way back, and I didn’t want to carry you all the way up to your room so I just dumped you here.”

That was understandable, but still… “Where’s Vanille?” she asked, because it wasn’t like Fang’s bed could sleep three of them very comfortably, unless they were all practically on top of one another. Fang just shrugged though.

“Dunno. She and Serah had their tongues down each other’s throats nearly the whole way back, so I kinda just let ‘em be. I was exhausted anyway, so I just went to bed with you.” 

Lightning pursed her lips, briefly wondering if anything had happened between the two of them before she reminded herself that it wasn’t her business. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Besides, right now the biggest thing she was concerned about was her splitting headache. Pressing her palm to her temple, Lightning winced and said, “I don’t remember drinking that much last night.”

Fang smirked, but reached over to grab an Aspirin bottle off her bedside table. Apparently she was prepared for this. “Vanille challenged you and Serah to a shot drinking contest. You were the first to go down.”

“Yeah, getting that,” Lightning responded, grabbing the bottle from the brunette’s hand and shaking three pills into her hand. She popped them into her mouth, dry swallowing them before she gave the medicine back to Fang and mumbled appreciatively, “Thanks.”

“Figured you’d be shit this morning,” Fang responded, chuckling a bit as she lay back down, propping her head up with her hand as she looked at her. Lightning was still rubbing her temples, trying to dissipate the pounding sensation, and therefore missed the look on Fang’s face that indicated that she was about to be teased mercilessly. “So… that whole ‘slow’ thing didn’t really work out for ya, did it?”

Lightning just side-eyed her like, ‘don’t start,’ but even still, she couldn’t help but defend her actions with, “It wasn’t my fault; she wasn’t wearing any underwear.” Fang threw her head back and laughed.

“So what, if any ol’ chick came up to you and said they were goin’ commando, you’d bend her over?”

“If they put their hand between their legs and then put their fingers in my mouth, I probably would!” Lightning exclaimed, still heavily on the defensive because it wasn’t like she _planned_ this. It just—it just _happened._ Was she honestly expected to have that much self-control when she was presented with something like that? Because she was certain that’d be impossible for anyone. 

“Relax, Light; I’m just raggin’ on ya. I’m glad you had fun with her, and Vanille said she loved it.”

Lightning glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. “I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about what we did with other people right now.” Because wasn’t that the rule? But Fang just shook her head.

“That pertains to you and Serah; you guys are the ones who need to get used to this. But me? I love knowing _all_ the dirty details, so I had Vanille tell me what went down between you two in the most graphic way possible.” She placed her tongue beneath her incisors then, smirking at the other woman as Lightning’s cheeks flushed a deep red.

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

But Fang’s smirk just grew wider. “That mirror thing was a nice touch, makin’ her watch herself come. Might do that myself sometime; hell, thinkin’ of starting with you.” If it was possible, Lightning was sure she turned at least fifteen more shades of red as she buried her face in her hands.

“Etro, help me,” she muttered, not believing that Vanille had really told her. She was so embarrassed; she had been _spanking_ her, for Maker’s sake. Fang must have loved hearing _that;_ modest little Lightning, bending a girl over and beating her ass raw. She was probably having a field day with the information.

“Oh, calm down; it’s not the end of the world,” Fang responded, chuckling at Lightning’s reaction to all of this. Grasping her hand in hers, Fang encouraged her to collapse back on the bed next to her, before she hoisted herself up a little so she’d be looking down at her. “I think it’s sexy as fuck, honestly, thinkin’ of you doing something like that. Wish I had been there to see it.” 

Lightning slowly dragged her hands off of her face then, peeking out to look at Fang as she pursed her lips. “I think I have a self-control problem when I drink,” she admitted, because she didn’t want the woman to think that she regularly spanked people or fucked them in public. That just wasn’t her. Or, at least it wasn’t until last night.

Fang chuckled. “Sweetheart, _everyone_ has a self-control problem when they drink; that’s why they do it in the first place.” But she got serious for a moment, and as she gently brushed a piece of hair out of Lightning’s eyes, she asked softy, “You don’t regret it, do you?”

Lightning shook her head, because it wasn’t that. “I guess I just… thought that you would be the first one that I—you know.” Realizing what it was that she was feeling, she looked up at her and whispered, “I think I just feel bad about that. I feel like I lied to you.”

“What? No,” Fang responded, her tone soft and understanding as she continued to gently trace Lightning’s jaw with the pads of her fingers. “Light, you didn’t promise me anything, and I’m not mad about it. I know that in this kind of relationship you’re not going to have the same kinds of feelings for everybody, but you can’t hold some people higher than others; it’ll make this whole thing fall apart at the seams.”

“You don’t owe me – or Serah for that matter – any explanation for what happens between you and Vanille,” Fang continued, her brow creasing slightly as she caught her gaze. “The same goes for all of us. What we do with each other, how we feel about each other, is between us. And so long as we don’t let our emotions prioritize some people over others, then it’ll be fine. Everyone will be happy, and we can make this work.”

Lightning was silent for a long moment as she contemplated that, before her gaze briefly flickered to the woman’s lips before landing once more on her eyes. “I didn’t mean for it to be different,” she breathed, because even though Fang was her best friend, she hadn’t expected it to feel differently to be with her than Vanille. She had always been more attracted to her, yes; but that wasn’t it. Quite recently, Fang was beginning to make her heart pound and her breathing shallow as her stomach twisted within her gut. There were times, times like this, when the woman gave her butterflies, and Lightning didn’t know what to make of that.

Was she getting a crush on Fang? Was that what this was, their friendship turning into something else entirely?

If it was though, it was obvious she wasn’t alone as Fang smiled at her softly, dusking her thumb across Lightning’s bottom lip as she admitted in a husked whisper, “I’m glad that it is.” 

Lightning gently bit her bottom lip then, bringing her hand to lay it atop the one Fang had resting against her cheek. They stayed like that for a long moment, just looking into one another’s eyes before Lightning couldn’t handle the pounding of her heart anymore, and she breathed, “Please kiss me,” as she found the anticipation too much to bear.

Fang covered her lips with her own then, and the kiss was soft; gentle and slow. Lightning closed her eyes as she fisted her hand in the brunette’s hair, allowing herself to savor the moment as she parted her lips and kissed her deeper. Lightning wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but eventually Fang’s lips covered her chin, her jawline, her neck as Lightning felt herself exhale a breathy whimper and arched her back off the bed. 

Her fingers were fisting in the fabric of Fang’s oversized t-shirt, her nails lightly scratching flesh after she reached the hem of it, and began to pull it over the other woman’s head. Fang pulled back a little in order to allow Lightning to strip it from her, but after she was free of it she looked down at her and asked a little breathlessly, “You sure? I know you feel like shit right now, you don’t have to—”

“Please shut up,” Lightning begged, sitting up a little in order to capture Fang’s lips in another lingering kiss, her hands reaching around the woman’s form in order to unclasp her bra. She pushed it down Fang’s shoulders then, taking the piece of fabric in her hand before she threw it clear across the room, and when she cupped the huntress’ breasts in her hands Fang groaned into her mouth, kissing her a little firmer as she encouraged Lightning back down onto her back.

She was still in her clothes from yesterday, the dress she was wearing now disheveled and wrinkled as Fang encouraged it off of her shoulder. She peeled the fabric halfway down Lightning’s torso before she broke the kiss, allowing her lips to fall down the expanse of the other woman’s chest, gently kissing and nipping the swell of her breasts. Lightning’s eyes fell closed again as she felt Fang’s mouth cover one of her nipples, exhaling a soft whimper as she tangled her fingers in her hair and pressed her chest into her mouth. 

She hadn’t expected Fang to be like this with her; to touch her like she was something to be savored, something to be worshiped. But Fang’s lips were kissing every bit of exposed skin she could reach as she continued to pull the dress from Lightning’s body, taking her time as though she were planning to spend the whole day in bed with her, and Lightning felt herself sink into the feeling as she let herself be completely immersed in the other woman’s touch.

Lighting lifted her lower body as Fang bunched the fabric around her hips, allowing it to be stripped from her completely before the woman encouraged her to bend one of her knees, wrapping her arm around it as she gently placed her lips on her inner thigh. Lightning exhaled a shuddered breath, feeling lips being dusked lightly over her skin until they reached the apex, her mouth finally covering the last piece of fabric separating them. 

“Fang…” she breathed, feeling her abdomen tighten as her muscles released a gush of wetness, covering the fabric the brunette had her mouth on. Fang groaned at the taste of her, lightly sucking on her through her panties, causing Lightning to exhale a needy whimper as she pressed her hips against her face.

As Fang sat up a little to help strip Lightning of the last of her confines, their eyes met once more, and Lightning felt her breathing shallow by the way Fang was looking at her; it wasn’t predatory, or even necessarily lustful. It was something softer, more honest, and it made Lightning’s heart beat a little faster as she realized that this wasn’t just sex. This was something else entirely.

“Y’know I’ve thought about this moment a thousand different times,” Fang murmured softly, allowing her fingers to lightly trail down the other woman’s thighs. “In a thousand different ways. But it was never… like this.”

Lightning swallowed, suddenly feeling like her throat was going dry. “Is that a good thing… or a bad thing?” she tentatively asked, the words feeling as though they were cracking in her throat. But Fang just smiled at her, bringing Lightning’s leg to her again as she gently kissed the inside of her knee.

“What do you think?”

Lightning exhaled a shaking breath, watching her as she began to kiss down her leg, slowly, almost agonizingly so, until she finally settled between her thighs and allowed her mouth to wrap around the other woman’s dripping center. Lightning moaned, her head falling back against the pillows as she tangled her fingers in her own hair, letting her legs fall open a little more as she allowed Fang to map out every inch of her sex with her tongue.

Fang took her time down there, in no hurry to have Lightning get off. In fact, it was as if she was purposely dragging this out as long as possible, wanting to savor this moment; burn it into her memory as she memorized every movement, every sound that Lightning made as she was slowly coaxed towards oblivion. Eventually though, the feeling was too much to bear, and Lightning begged, “Fang… _Fang…_ ” as she twisted her hips and grasped for her hand, squeezing it tightly.

Fang looked up at her then, seeing the desperation on Lightning’s face as she asked her, “What it is? What do you need?” But Lightning just pulled on her hand, encouraging her to crawl back over to her as she sat up, capturing her lips in a needy kiss.

“You,” she breathed, sliding her hands through her hair. “Right now all I need is you.” Because she needed it this way; with how she was feeling right then, she needed Fang close to her, holding her. And she knew that perhaps it was dangerous, for her to allow herself to feel things like that, but Fang complied without question, settling herself between her thighs as she kissed her gently, running her fingers through the other woman’s folds.

Lightning exhaled a needy moan into her mouth as she grasped for her, kissing her hungrily as she felt Fang slip her fingers inside of her. “Fuck, Light…” the brunette groaned, apparently momentarily overwhelmed by the feeling of finally being inside of her. Lightning could relate. 

Grasping the sides of her face, Lightning begged, “Look at me,” as the woman began moving her fingers; first slowly, and then with a faster pace as she watched the pleasure begin to etch itself across Lightning’s expression. Her breathing was ragged, her breasts heaving as a light flush of arousal started to cover her chest, but she didn’t close her eyes, didn’t look away. She continued to keep her gaze even as the pleasure began to be too much for her, even as she began to shake and cry out and dig her nails into her skin.

There was a sound, but it was completely drowned out by the sound of Lightning shouting Fang’s name when she came. But as she finally allowed herself to collapse her forehead against Fang’s as she trembled and gently traced the brunette’s lips with her thumb, the feeling of bliss was short lasting, as when Fang glanced over the soldier’s shoulder she suddenly tensed a little and exclaimed in surprise, “—Serah.”

Lightning was certain she hadn’t moved faster in her life. She ripped herself out of Fang’s arms, turning to see her sister in the doorway with this undecipherable look on her face, apparently unable to comprehend how she should feel about witnessing what could only be construed as an intimate moment between her sister and Fang. But she quickly averted her eyes and apologized, “Sorry, I should have—I thought you guys were still asleep and… and Hope’s here.” 

“What?” Lightning asked, sitting up a little straighter at that information as she clutched a sheet to her chest. She hadn’t expected him to stop by; hadn’t Sazh said that he was barely able to leave his room?

“Yeah, he’s… in the living room,” Serah told her, looking anywhere but at her face as she fisted her hands in her shirt and backed out of the room. “I’ll—I’ll let you get dressed.”

“Wait, Serah—!” Lightning tried, the harsh reality that her sister wasn’t okay with what she had just walked in on hitting her chest at full force. She was off the bed in a second, grabbing some of Fang’s clothes as she threw them on and took off out the door, sprinting down the hallway just as she saw Serah barricade herself in the bathroom at the end of the corridor. 

Her palm hit the wood and she pleaded, “Serah, it’s not what you think—” because she didn’t ever want Serah to feel like Fang was some kind of competition for her; she might feel for her, but Serah was everything to her. Absolutely everything. She was her breath, her heart, her soul.

“I’m fine,” Serah called out, but her voice didn’t hold steady and Lightning could hear it crack a little in her throat. “I just—I need to take a shower. Go see Hope; he’s waiting for you.”

Lightning closed her eyes, her forehead banging lightly on the door in defeat. Damnit. Damnit, damnit, damnit. She didn’t want to walk away from this, but Serah had already turned the shower on and Hope was already in her living room and—and this all had such terrible timing. A hand rested on her shoulder then, and Lightning turned to see Fang standing next to her, an apologetic look on her face as she tried, “Light, I’m sorry—”

“It’s not your fault,” Lightning insisted, exhaling a long sigh as she pushed the hair back from her eyes. “I said I wanted to go slow for this very reason and I didn’t even take my own suggestion seriously. I deserve this. I should have talked to her first about how I— I don’t know, maybe I should have just warned her that your body wasn’t the only thing that I liked about you.” Releasing a frustrated breath, Lightning tangled her fingers the hair at the base of her skull and exclaimed, “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Fang assured her, bringing her into a side hug as she kissed her temple. “I think we all just kind of got… carried away, y’know? Beginning of relationships will do that; your brain checks out and the only thing you can think to do is fuck your girlfriend in every room of the house.” She smirked a little then, trying to lighten the mood as she reminded her, “We just happen to have three of them.”

Lightning exhaled a long breath, leaning her head against Fang’s shoulder for a moment before she forced herself to move past it, at least for now. Moving away from her, she said, “I have to go see Hope. He’s… he’s going through similar things I am right now, and I can’t abandon him; I’m probably the only one he can turn to about it.” Looking up at her, she asked Fang, “Will you… speak with her? If she lets you?”

Fang nodded, assuring her that she would before Lightning leaned in, giving her a soft peck on the lips before she pulled away and made her way back down the hall. When she entered the living room she saw Vanille talking animatedly to Hope, all smiles and happiness as she used her hands to tell her story. Hope looked a little overwhelmed by it, but Lightning supposed that was to be expected if the boy had barely left Sazh’s house since he was reborn into his body. She was going to tell Vanille to cool it, but then she realized why she was doing that; no doubt she heard a door slam and muffled exclamations and she knew something was wrong, and was trying to overshadow it so Hope didn’t realize what exactly was going on in their household. 

At the very least, it seemed to be working, as Hope didn’t even notice when she walked into the room.

“Hey, kid,” she greeted, forcing a smile as the boy turned towards her. Vanille stopped talking then, shooting Lightning a look over Hope’s shoulder like ‘what the hell is going on?’ But Lightning ignored her, needing to focus on something else at the moment. As much as it pained her, Serah would have to wait.

“Hey, Light,” he greeted, sounding a little nervous for some reason as he picked himself off the couch. Lightning just brought him into a hug though, ruffling his hair a bit as she pulled back.

“Missed you,” she told him, smiling at him so he would feel more at ease. He seemed so terribly out of place. Knocking him gently on the shoulder she asked, “You alright? I didn’t expect you to come by; Sazh said…”

“Yeah, he, uh…” Hope started, but then glanced over at Vanille, who got the message and decided to announce to them that she actually needed to go find Fang before she skipped off, leaving the two of them alone. Hope cleared his throat for a second and then shrugged. “He said you wanted to talk… about some stuff. And I think I needed to… _go_ somewhere, anywhere really, so I had him drop me here. Maybe I should have called though…”

“Hey, come on; you know you’re always welcome here,” Lightning assured him. “Actually I was planning to stop by your house later today, so this worked out really well.”

“Really?” Hope asked, looking up at her with surprise, like a part of him didn’t believe it, and Lightning hated that he felt that way. She should have thought of him earlier; she should have realized that she wasn’t the only one who was having a tough time. It was so incredibly selfish of her.

“Yeah, really,” Lightning assured him with a small laugh, like he was silly to ever think otherwise. “Hey, how about I grab some pants and we go for a walk? More privacy that way. Plus, I think it’d do us both some good to get out of the house.”

“Yeah, okay,” Hope responded, a small smile etching across his face as he nodded, actually looking a little enthused by the idea. 

And so that’s what they did, took a walk around the nearby park as Hope opened up about what he had been going through, and Lightning finally began to be honest about how hard it had been on her as well. She was so used to putting up this unbreakable front, this mask of strength and determination even if she felt like she was shattering inside. But Hope didn’t need that; he didn’t need someone to lean on, he needed someone who understood. And so Lightning resolved to be that person, because he deserved that; he was her friend, and she hadn’t been there for him before, but she would be there for him now.

He asked her if she thought they’d ever feel normal again, and it took Lightning a minute, but when she thought about it she realized, “I think… I’m almost close to it now,” because there was moments, there might always be moments when she seemed completely overwhelmed and crippled by what she felt, but they were beginning to get fewer and farther in between. “It’s hard to remember though,” she admitted. “What it felt like… before. Maybe we’ll never know what it’s like to feel normal, but we have to make do with what we’re given, because I’m pretty sure this is the last life we’re ever going to get.”

“I hate not remembering,” Hope told her as they walked side by side down the dirt path. “Everyone says I grew up, but I don’t remember it. I did all this stuff, but when Sazh mentions it to me it doesn’t feel like me; like it was a dream everyone had that I wasn’t a part of.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing that you don’t remember,” Lightning tried, glancing down at him. “It might have screwed you up. Mentally being an adult, but trapped in the body of child; feeling like you regressed in age, when you had already been through all this before. I mean, come on, who wants to go through puberty _twice?_ ”

Hope laughed, and it seemed easier, lighter. He was relaxing, and Lightning smiled at him, feeling as though she was watching him come out of his shell. Hope may have been reborn to his body six months ago, but he was being reborn to the world right now, finally coming out and being a part of it, and it couldn’t have made Lightning happier.

They were gone for about an hour, just walking around and talking, before Hope told her that he really needed to be heading back. Lightning gave him a hug goodbye, assured him that they’d see each other again soon, and then she walked back into her house alone. She felt… better; happier, after seeing Hope, but the second she stepped through the threshold a feeling of dread invaded the pit of her stomach, because everything wasn’t alright. It was very far from it.

Nobody was in the living room, so Lightning began to search the house for everybody. Upstairs was empty, as was Fang and Vanille’s room. She only saw someone once she entered the kitchen, and Vanille was leaning up against the wall by the backdoor, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Lightning could hear noises coming from the back yard, and as she approached the door she realized it was the sound of someone crying.

It was the sound of _Serah_ crying.

“I don’t even know why I’m doing this!” she exclaimed through her tears, sounding frustrated and upset with herself. Through the sliver of window that wasn’t covered by the curtain, Lightning could see her pick up an empty beer container and throw it clear across the yard. “I don’t even know why I’m crying! I’m not even mad at her, or _you_ , or—”

“Hey, hey,” Fang tried, placing her arms gently on the girl’s shoulders. She was squatting in front of her, brow creased as she took in the distressed look on Serah’s face. “You don’t need a reason for how you feel. Sometimes shit doesn’t have to make sense, y’know? It just is what it is.”

Lightning tried to move towards the door, needing to comfort her sister, but Vanille grasped her hand in hers to stop her before she could head outside. “Let her first,” she pleaded, looking up at her. Lightning looked out the window at the two figures outside, and exhaled a small sigh. She wanted to fix this, but Fang was a part of this too, and if the two sisters shut her out, then it’d probably feel like they were reverting back to their separate relationships. If it was going to be all four of them, then they needed to solve their problems that way too. 

Vanille wrapped her arms around Lightning’s waist as she pulled her back against her body, trying to comfort her as she rested her chin on her shoulder. Serah was talking again, the words coming out a little muffled due to her incessant crying. “—m’own fault anyway,” she told her, sniffling as she wiped tears off her cheeks. “I knew you weren’t sleeping, I heard you guys and I still—still didn’t knock; I don’t know why…”

“You were curious,” Fang reasoned, placing a comforting hand on her knee. “There’s nothin’ wrong with that. I’m sure Light would have done the same thing if it were the other way around; you’re still gettin’ used to this, it doesn’t… it’s not a natural thing for you yet, y’know? Shit takes some time.”

“It’s masochistic.”

“Yeah well, Light’s a huge masochist too so the point still stands,” Fang responded, smirking as she nudged her knee. Serah looked a little amused by that, but it was still tinged with sadness and the moment was gone as soon as it came. 

Fang pursed her lips then, reaching up to gently tuck a piece of hair behind the girl’s ear, and it struck Lightning then how good Fang was at all of this; caring, almost mothering them in a way. When Lightning and Serah fell apart, it was always Fang who was there to pick up the pieces. “It’s not the fact that it was _me_ havin’ sex with your sister, right?” Fang asked, just trying to make sure that they were on the same page, and when Serah shook her head no, she continued cautiously, “Was it… _how_ we were having sex?”

Serah’s face crumpled at that, and as she exhaled another sob she pressed her hand over her mouth and Fang immediately brought her into a hug and assured her that she understood with, “Okay, okay…” But Serah still shook her head at that, as apparently Fang had gathered the wrong conclusion. 

“It wasn’t what you were doing,” she breathed through her tears, running her sleeve over her cheek to wipe away the wetness on her skin. “It was… it was how she—how she _looked_ at you; it was like how she looks at me, and I know—I know it’s _stupid,_ because this thing we’re doing isn’t even supposed to just be about sex, _I_ didn’t want it to be just about sex, I wanted it to be emotional too, but then I see her having feelings for you and I just—”

“Hey,” Fang gently interrupted, taking Serah’s hands in her own and gently giving them a squeeze. “I’ll tell you what I told Light, yeah? In a relationship like this, we’re always gonna feel differently about different people. There’s no way it’ll ever replicate, because all of us… we’re not the same.”

“So what Lightning feels about you? It doesn’t… it doesn’t even _touch_ what she feels about me,” Fang continued, trying to make her understand the difference. “And it shouldn’t. You’re her sister, you’re her soul mate. I’m just her best friend that she’s crushin’ on right now, and yeah, maybe it’ll end up developing into something more romantic than that, but at the end of day she would just fight for me; she would tear down _worlds_ for you. And I’m okay with that. It’s not a competition, Serah. Each of us, we love each other differently; and it doesn’t have to weigh more on the scale for it to be worth something to us. It can be special just because we have it.”

Serah sniffled, her tears having finally stopped as she nodded, understanding what Fang was trying to tell her. The huntress smiled at her then, gently cupping the girl’s cheek as she asked, “You wanna talk to your sister now?” And Serah nodded again, so Fang retracted her hand and stood up, telling her, “Alright, lemme go see if she’s back yet.”

But as she turned towards the door she suddenly stopped short, clearly startled by the image of Lightning and Vanille on the other side of it. “Lindzei’s bloody _ball sack_ ,” she swore. “What is it with everyone in this house and spyin’ on people?”

Serah turned then, looking at her sister and Vanille in surprise, and Lightning scrunched her nose in guilt as she pulled away from the other girl and slowly opened the back door. “Sorry,” she muttered, feeling a little embarrassed about being caught just standing there. “Vanille just—she told me to let you say your piece first and then, well, I don’t know, you do words better than I do so I sort of just…”

“Stood there and watched us like a creepy tit? Yeah, saw that much,” Fang responded, which made Lightning’s ears turn pink as she looked away from her. But Fang just rolled her eyes and said, “Relax, I’m just givin’ ya shit. Still, either come out or give us some space next time, damn; seein’ you both there nearly gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“Sorry,” Lightning apologized again, feeling utterly foolish as she looked at her shoes. She expected Vanille to say something in her defense as well, but apparently the girl took off back into the house, leaving her to shoulder the blame alone. Great. Although, to be fair, this particular situation didn’t involve her, and so she might have stuck around before only to comfort Lightning while she… spied on them.

Which, okay, sounded a bit shitty. Still, she… she needed to know Serah was okay. She needed to know what was wrong. And maybe she needed to hear some of the things Fang said as well, because the woman had always been scarily good with words and comfort and it just… _helped_ , when Fang talked. Things made more sense.

Unless she was purposely being an asshole; then Lightning just threw shit at her. But to be quite honest, she’d always enjoyed what Fang provided for her either way, and seeing it help Serah too just… it made her feel so much better; about them, about this entire arrangement. She just hoped Serah felt the same way, and after Fang left them alone Lightning squatted in the same place the other woman had been, grasping onto her sister’s hands and looking into her eyes.

“I love you,” she breathed, giving her a small emotional smile as she continued, “more than _anything_ else in this world. Do you remember when we were in the Shadow Realms, and you had that vision of us awakening; of what Bhunivelze would take to get me to cooperate?” Serah pursed her lips and nodded, and Lightning coaxed gently, “What was it that he took?”

“Your heart,” Serah whispered, looking down at their linked hands. Lightning brushed her thumb over her skin, and Serah squeezed in response.

“And who was my heart?” 

“…Me.”

“Yeah,” Lightning agreed softly, catching her gaze once more. “ _You._ And it wasn’t just that my heart was yours, it was that you _were_ my heart; you were everything, all of it, and that’s never going to go away. You are a part of me, Serah; and that runs deeper than anything I could ever share with anyone else.” Serah pursed her lips and looked down, but nodded her understanding all the same.

“But… if you’re afraid, if you think I’m going to be taken away from you, then I’ll end this relationship with them right now,” she told her, despite not wanting to herself. In the end though, Serah was and would always be more important; she had to take care of her, no matter what. “I don’t want to do this if it’s going to make you unhappy.”

“No, you—you don’t have to do that,” Serah insisted, shaking her head. “I like… being with them. It’s like having a real family again, except with… added benefits.” Lightning shot her a look at that, like there’s no need to distinguish between family and sex because they blurred those lines a long time ago, and Serah giggled a little. “You know what I mean. Maybe I’ll just say _our_ kind of family, then. The kind nobody understands but it’s… it’s perfect all the same, you know? I like it. I like them.”

“I want us to all be together and love each other, because that sounds… it sound wonderful, don’t you think?” Serah continued, looking up at her. “I guess I just… didn’t expect to see you making love to one of them this soon, and it… it scared me a little; made me paranoid that I might get replaced, even though I know now that that’s stupid.”

Lightning, however, was stuck on one part of that sentence and couldn’t let it go.

“Making—?” she began to ask, disbelief in her tone. “Serah, I wasn’t _making love_ to Fang. You have to be _in_ love to make love, don’t you? We were just… _close_ , or… or something— and you know, I had _just_ woken up and had a really big headache, so I couldn’t have been taken very roughly _anyway,_ and—”

“Claire,” Serah interrupted, looking at her with one eyebrow raised. “You ramble when you know you’re wrong.”

Lightning stopped.

“Well I still didn’t make love to her,” she said after a long beat of silence, ever the defiant about that, because she very much held the belief that you can’t make love to someone unless you’re _in_ love with that person, and she was not in love with Fang. She barely had the beginnings of a crush on her. She just got… caught up in it; in feeling savored and cared about. Fang loved her and wanted to take care of her, but she wasn’t _in_ love with her either. It was different.

“Call it what you like, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t… I wasn’t really prepared to see you guys like that, that’s all.”

“I won’t do it again,” Lightning tried, just feeling like she had to do _something_ in order for something like this not to happen again. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t touch her like that anymore.”

“No, that’s—” Serah tried, but cut herself off with a small sigh. “Just because I’m trying to explain to you why it upset me, doesn’t mean that I think I was right to _be_ upset,” she tried to explain. “Fang was the one who was right, you know? About all of us, about how we feel about each other? It’s different, and I need to stop comparing how you feel about her to how you feel about me. It’s not a competition and I’m… I’m sorry for acting like it was.”

Giving her sister a gentle smile, Serah reached up to cup her face then, dragging her thumb across her jawline as she softly told her, “I hope you find happiness in her, Claire. I hope you find happiness in both of them.”

Lightning smiled in return, the gesture a little tight and emotional as she turned her head and kissed her sister’s palm, before holding it gently against her face. “I hope you find happiness in them too, Serah.”

In the end, that was the most all of them could hope for anyway.

**TBC…**


	10. X

**CHAPTER X**

“How did you guys meet?” Serah asked, curiosity in her voice as she twisted her neck to address Vanille behind her. She glanced over at Fang then as well, who was currently having some kind of childish tug of war over a couch blanket with Lightning. As such, it was Vanille who answered first.

Her fingers stilling in Serah’s hair, the braid she was making only halfway done, she scrunched up her nose and responded, “I don’t really remem—”

“She stole my doll,” Fang answered automatically, before winning said tug of war and gathering the blanket in her lap. Lightning slapped her arm in retaliation, irritated that Fang just helped herself to damn near everything even though she had the stupid blanket first. Honestly, would it have killed her to ask to share it?

Lightning didn’t have much time to dwell on her loss though, because Vanille diverted her attention with an automatic, “No, I didn’t! I didn’t steal your dumb doll; I just found it!” 

Fang smirked. “I thought you didn’t remember.” Glancing at Lightning then, Fang opened the blanket in offering, and Lightning rolled her eyes in light protest before moving over to snuggle against her. What an asshole; she just wanted to be the one in control of the damn thing. If she wasn’t getting chilly, she would have outright ignored her based on principle. 

But it was cold, so…

“Well now I remember! I found it outside, so if you really cared about it you shouldn’t have just left it lying around,” Vanille defended with a huff, glaring at her girlfriend from her spot on the floor. Fang just chuckled though, pulling the blanket around Lightning as she held her against her form.

“I was five, so Vanille had to be about… three, yeah?” she began to explain, glancing over at Vanille. “Or close to it anyway. Her and her mum had just relocated to Oerba because war had torn the Southern part of Pulse apart, and her village had been destroyed.”

“Where was your dad?” Serah asked, turning once again to look at the girl behind her. Lightning was worried that Serah was going to uncover a sore spot, as Fang had mentioned war and Lightning’s first thought was that he had died, but Vanille just shrugged carelessly.

“Dunno. Never knew him. Mum never talked about him, and I never asked.”

“You weren’t curious?” Serah responded, sounding surprised. Family had always been very important to her though, so it was understandable why she couldn’t fathom people not wanting to know their own. 

“Sometimes it’s better not to know,” Fang explained, sounding patient despite her tone having an underlying warning to drop it. She caught Lightning’s eye then, watching the corners of the soldier’s lips turn down into a frown as she remembered some of the things she had read about Pulse and their savagery during times of war. After meeting Fang and Vanille she didn’t believe half of what she was taught anymore, as so much of it seemed greatly exaggerated, but maybe some of it was true after all. If so, it was no wonder why Vanille never went digging for answers; they could very well traumatize her.

“Anyway,” Fang continued, eager to move on from that, “I’m lookin’ for my doll, right? And I see this little bit of a thing just sittin’ in the middle of the square playing with it. So when I came up to her and told her to give me it, Vanille told me that it was hers now, and that I couldn’t have it back.”

“Finders keepers,” Vanille defended, continuing her task of braiding Serah’s hair while Fang rolled her eyes. “It’s not stealing if it’s not intentional. Fang was just being a baby about it.”

“So we get into this huge fight, right?” Fang continued as she gently weaved her fingers through Lightning’s hair, ignoring the comment Vanille had made about her. “Two kids just screamin’ at each other in the middle of everything and makin’ a fuss, and the village elder, who I guess had been talkin’ to Vanille’s mum at the time, decided right then that it’d be a great idea if the Dia’s moved into my house.”

“Because you were screaming at each other?” Lightning asked, raising an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that make normal people not want to put you anywhere near each other?”

“Yeah, well, in Oerba our elders thought it was important for everyone to get along, and when they didn’t they would stick them in the same house so they could work out their crap,” Fang explained, shrugging lightly. “Most of the time it worked; no one wanted to have an unpleasant living situation, so everyone eventually learned to get over their shit.”

“So I grew up with Fang,” Vanille finished for her. “Shared a room practically our whole lives, shared everything really, and then we became sisters when our Mums got together.”

“Your mothers were in a relationship?” Serah asked, sounding both surprised and fascinated. Lightning couldn’t blame her; while it wasn’t exactly uncommon to see younger women in a relationship on Cocoon, there was a point where they were expected to ‘grow up’ and settle into a normal relationship with a man. Older lesbians were very uncommon where they grew up, as they were widely regarded as a joke.

Not that that was the way of things now, of course; five hundred years of time itself standing still forced people to progress in other ways, and a lot of social taboos were no longer looked down upon with distaste. There were some people, of course, people who would always be stuck in their ways, but for the most part things had changed. Still, Lightning and Serah had not been around to see it do so, and thus a part of them were still stuck with old beliefs and outdated social norms.

“Yeah it took ‘em awhile, my mum was still back and forth with my dad for a bit; wasn’t bad or nothin’ between them but it just never really worked, y’know? So eventually they went their separate ways and then a year or so later she got with Vanille’s mum. Think I was eleven at the time, yeah?” She looked at Vanille for confirmation and the girl nodded, and Fang reiterated, “Yeah I was eleven.”

“But… your family names aren’t the same,” Serah noted with mild confusion, as while they shared the same clan name of Oerba, Yun and Dia were still two separate family names. 

“Oh, they never got joined,” Vanille explained, like that should have been obvious. “My mum thought you fought harder to stay with someone if you made it easier to leave, y’know? Besides, unjoining rituals on Pulse were a really lengthy process—”

“As my Mum and Dad demonstrated,” Fang interrupted, frowning a bit from the memory of it.

“—because of all the rituals and tattoo removal and… well, with my Mum’s beliefs and Fang’s Mum not wanting to go through something like that again, they decided against anything official. But even without the joining ceremony, after a few years of them being together everyone still thought of the four of us as a family.”

“So you really were… raised like sisters,” Lightning realized, remembering what Fang had told her in the Shadow Realms. At the time she assumed it was just because they were close; lived with one another, in the same village, their entire lives. Things on Pulse were different than they were on Cocoon, and she assumed ‘sister’ was just a term of endearment in a way. She hadn’t realized that they had practically become step-siblings at one point in their lives.

“S’why we never had a problem with you guys,” Fang explained, looking between the two sisters. “Even though we weren’t blood related, like Vanille said, after our Mums got together we were regarded as family by everyone in the clan. We got caught kissin’ once when we were teenagers, and we were screamed at like there was no fucking tomorrow for it; even got sent to live with my dad to separate us. So we get havin’ to hide it; we know how much it sucks, to feel somethin’ and be told it’s wrong. Bloody bullshit, if you ask me.”

“It’s not fair when other people tell you that you can’t be happy, just because they don’t understand how you feel,” Vanille said, a small pout forming on the edges of her lips as she finished up the braid in Serah’s hair. “It’s not their life; it doesn’t affect them. So Fang and I don’t judge anyone like that anymore; we know how much it hurts when other people did it to us.”

“So you never… even had a second where you thought what was going on between me and Light was weird?” Serah asked, finding that a little hard to believe. Lightning was apt to agree; things like that were hard to unlearn if that was all you knew growing up, despite those thoughts being hypocritical for them to think or not.

Both women paused, then glanced at one another. That was about all of the answer Lightning needed, but Fang tried to explain with, “Wasn’t really the whole incest thing it was more… _Lightning_ doing the incest thing. Or sex in general, really; was kinda convinced that she wasn’t wired that way.”

Lightning’s mouth dropped open, not particularly enjoying the way that sounded; like she was a huge prude or something, and she was getting made fun of for it. “—Hey!” she exclaimed, pushing herself away from her a little.

“What? It’s not a bad thing,” Fang responded, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “Some people just aren’t interested in stuff like that, y’know? Thought you were one of ‘em, but I guess I read you wrong. Anyway, yeah there was a moment where it kinda shocked us I guess, but then we thought about it and it made sense. I mean, the only thing you two ever did was bloody obsess about each other.”

“I was trying to save her!” both sisters defended simultaneously, which made them glance at one another while Fang and Vanille smirked, amused. 

“Call it what you want, but I’m just sayin’ it wasn’t that surprising. Neither was Lightning’s crazy incest guilt afterwards, although I’m still kinda irritated you shut us out because of it for so damn long.”

Lightning averted her gaze, remembering those days; if one could even call them days. Time moved differently in death, and to be honest she wasn’t sure if it lasted days, weeks, or years. Still, she apologized with, “I’m… sorry. It was never about either of you,” because it wasn’t; it was about her.

Lightning remembered the days when she apologized to no one save her own sister, as she believed Serah was the only one worthy enough to be granted an apology for her actions. Things had changed though, and they had changed long before Lightning had even realized they had; she had apologized to the both of them countless times before, and yet never put together that it was because she trusted them, because she found them worthy enough to know of the regret of her own actions. Because she loved them, and not just Fang and Vanille, but all of them; all of her friends, her comrades, her family. It just took her soul getting ripped from her body to realize how important they all really were to her. 

Only when one knows loss, do they realize the true value of the things they once took for granted.

“Yeah, I know,” Fang responded softly, a gently hand being placed over Lightning’s that lay on the couch as she let her know that while it had hurt her, she understood it, and she would forgive her for it. Lightning turned her hand over to allow her fingertips to drag lightly over the other woman’s palm, before she allowed her gaze to run upwards, over the woman’s forearm and then to the large mark that rested on her bicep. 

Her brow furrowed a little, and Fang caught the look. “You wonderin’ if I’m married now?” she asked, chuckling a little. Which Lightning supposed would be a valid question, given the fact that Fang and Vanille had just spoken about a tattooing ritual in their joining sessions, but she shook her head.

“No,” she answered easily. “If you were, Vanille would have one too.”

Vanille shot her a look and pointed at her like yes, that was absolutely the correct response to have, but Fang just smirked, challenging Lightning’s theories, as always.

“Oh yeah? You think after everything we told ya that my clan would allow me to join with my sister? Because I’m thinkin’ that might not have gone over so well,” she responded, before quirking an eyebrow at her. “Who’s to say I didn’t marry someone else?”

“The fact that I’m sure you’d marry Vanille against your clan’s wishes before you would ever give yourself to someone else,” Lightning responded, not batting an eyelash as she propped her elbow up on the back of the couch, tangling her fingers through her hair. “So what is the tattoo for?”

“She was a hunter; they’re widely respected on Pulse. A step beneath our Elders,” Vanille answered, which made Fang sigh heavily and shoot her an exasperated look.

“Come on, Vanille; it’s like you never want me to have any fun.”

Serah giggled, and Vanille rolled her eyes as she plopped down on her knees directly next to the younger Farron. “If you had fooled her then I would have let you, but don’t beat a dead behemoth, Fang,” she chastised; not because she had tried to play a game with Lightning, but because it obviously wasn’t a very good one. “She knew you were lying.”

“I think it’s sexy,” Serah chimed in, speaking of the tattoo. That at least got Fang off the screw-with-Lightning train as the flattery caused her to quirk an eyebrow and smirk, before looking down at her tattoo covered arm and flexing. Vanille and Serah practically fell all over themselves at the sight, and while it was attractive, the ridiculousness of it just caused Lightning to roll her eyes.

“What, you don’t think it’s hot, Soldier Girl?” Fang asked, looking amused at the exasperated look on Lightning’s face. She flexed again, although this time probably solely to bother her. 

“It would be if you weren’t trying to show it off like it was suddenly the definition of sex,” Lightning responded, arms folded across her chest. “Besides, right now you’ve got my sister thinking tattoos are sexy and I swear if she ends up coming home with one I will make you sleep in the back yard for a week.” A beat. “And it’s getting cold.”

“You are so hypocritical!” Serah exclaimed, her mouth dropping open. “You can have tattoos but I can’t?”

“That’s different,” Lightning responded, shooting her a look because _she knew better._ She knew every inch of Lightning’s body before she woke up from her crystal stasis, and every part of it thereafter. Serah had already questioned the new additions to it, had noticed more than the tattoos, and it sparked a conversation Lightning was not entirely comfortable having. And Serah realized that, realized she hadn’t thought her words through before she spoke them, and shot her an apologetic look in response. But it was too late, because the damage had been done.

“Why, because she’s younger?” Fang asked, scoffing at that. “Bullshit reason if ya ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t,” Lightning snapped, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable by the topic of conversation as she folded her arms across her chest and practically sunk into the couch cushions. “Ask you. I _didn’t;_ so why don’t you just stay out of it?”

“Damn, what flew up your arse and died?” Fang countered, looking at Lightning like she couldn’t fathom where this attitude was suddenly coming from. Still, whenever Lightning got confrontational with Fang, it was the huntress’s second nature to get confrontational right back, and so she shot her a look and continued with, “I know you like to think you’re your sister’s keeper, Light, but you’re not the only one datin’ her now; so if she wants to get a tattoo I say she should fuckin’ go for it, because you know what? My opinion? Still relevant.”

“Fang, please,” Serah tried, looking between the two women who were glaring at one another on the couch. “This isn’t even about me anymore—”

“Yeah? Then why does it sound like it?”

“Fang, I think you should stop,” Vanille tried, realizing this was getting messier than intended, but it was practically drowned out because at the very same time Lightning had snapped, “Serah, be quiet,” which then just irritated the younger girl because she was only trying to help, not reveal all her sister’s secrets to anyone willing to listen. 

“You wouldn’t have to tell me to be quiet if you were just honest instead of hiding behind a layer of… of irritable _bitch_ all the time!” Serah exclaimed, frustrated by the direction this conversation was going, and clearly not having a better word for Lightning’s current attitude than that. “Fang doesn’t understand and that’s not her fault; so instead of being confrontational maybe you could just tell her that you don’t feel comfortable discussing it instead. You know, be an _adult_ about it, instead of whatever this is supposed to be.”

“Fine,” Lightning snapped, suddenly feeling like she was getting attacked from all sides as she rose from the couch. A part of her knew she was just overreacting, the emotions inside her still not entirely as regulated as they should be, but she wasn’t feeling okay with this right now and she had to leave. “I’m not comfortable with this, alright? So you all can piss off.”

And then she was stomping out of the living room, leaving the three other woman to sit there and just stare helplessly in her wake, most of them not knowing what was even wrong, and the other unable to tell them.

[x]

It was over an hour until Lightning came home. She knew she would have been followed anywhere she went in the house and so she left, choosing instead to walk aimlessly around the park for a while in order to clear her head.

She knew she was overreacting; she knew Fang didn’t know why the subject of her tattoos were an uncomfortable one for her, and after a while she realized that the reason why she was so upset by it was because a part of her expected Fang to know without even being told. Which was… ridiculous, honestly, but Serah had noticed the other things that were different about her almost right away, and Fang had not. But could she really blame her? Save the tattoos, the changes were miniscule enough to slip by unnoticed by most. Fang hadn’t known her body in the way that Serah had before she was reborn, so it was doubtful she even gave anything on her a second look, but a part of Lightning still wished she had regardless; wish she _knew_ , so she didn’t have to say anything.

But she had to say something now; she couldn’t just let it be, because Fang and Vanille knew something was wrong, and they cared about her. And maybe it was time she stopped trying to ignore it, but because she had so many other issues about being an actual human being again and the problems that had presented for her emotionally, she had mostly tried to dismiss it, because it wasn’t as though she could do anything to change it now.

When she walked through the door, all three women were on the couch, practically piled on top of one another as they watched TV. Serah shut off the TV immediately though, sitting up straighter as she addressed her with concern, “…Claire.” 

Lightning just stood there for a moment, pursing her lips as her gaze landed on each of them in turn before finally resting on Serah. “Did you tell them?” she asked finally, and it wasn’t accusatory, just… curious. But Serah shook her head.

“It’s not my business to tell.”

Lightning disagreed with that, as she always considered her business to be her sister’s business as well, but she was appreciative all the same. Not that she was looking forward to telling them herself, but she wasn’t fond of people talking about her behind her back either. Fang sat up then though, encouraging Serah and Vanille, who were on either side of her, to give her a little space as she looked at the woman standing across from her.

“You got somethin’ to say?” she asked, because in the end, while she needed to apologize for what happened before as well, Lightning had to more. She was the one who went off on her, and who told everyone to piss off when Serah was just trying to help, and Fang and Vanille had no idea what was even going on.

“I’m… sorry,” Lightning responded, wrapping her arms around her midsection as she looked at the three women, shifting the weight between her feet in such a way that indicated her clear discomfort with the situation. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Any of you.”

Fang looked at her for a long moment, as if trying to gauge if she was being genuine or not, before she finally decided that she was and relaxed a little, settling back against the couch. “I’m sorry too. Didn’t mean to push ya; I know that generally makes everything go to shit.”

Lightning nodded, accepting the apology. And then there was silence.

“…Light?” Vanille asked carefully after a long moment. “Will you… tell us what’s bothering you? Maybe we can help.”

Lightning glanced at Serah, who pursed her lips and nodded encouragingly. And so Lightning took a breath, and then averted her gaze. “You guys… knew me before,” she began, her fingers curling around her biceps as she held herself. “Do you remember any tattoos?”

Fang furrowed her brow. “Well, no; but it’s not like we saw your back through your uniform. Figured you just covered it.”

“But that’s not the only tattoo I have.”

Fang’s gaze then landed on Lightning’s inner thigh, which was left uncovered by her small shorts. She licked her lips in thought, before pursing them for a moment. “I guess I just figured I didn’t notice before. All the l’Cie bullshit, y’know? A lot of crap kinda faded in the wake of all that.”

“You noticed her before though,” Vanille mentioned quietly, looking towards her girlfriend. “You noticed everything about her; you told me that. You had a crush on her.”

Serah looked towards Fang, surprised by that information, although whether it was because Fang had been lusting after Lightning for longer than she had thought, or that she outright told Vanille about it, Lightning wasn’t sure. She knew herself though, that Fang had wanted her for a while, and so she didn’t share the same look of surprise as her sister did. 

“Yeah, I mean… I did, sure, but I guess I didn’t—I didn’t really think much of it, y’know? Figured I just missed it before, or forgot,” Fang answered, her brow still furrowed with confusion as she looked at the woman that was standing before them. “Why, when did you get them?”

Lightning took a breath. “I… I woke up with them.”

“What, from stasis?” Vanille asked, looking confused as well, and Lightning nodded. Fang looked at her like that was one of the strangest things she’s ever heard.

“What the hell? _How?_ ” 

“It’s not the only thing that’s different,” Serah mentioned softly, her voice barely above a whisper, like maybe she knew she shouldn’t be the one to tell them that, but knowing that it was all related, and for them to get the bigger picture of what had happened, she knew they needed to know that it wasn’t just the tattoos. It was why Lightning allowed her to finish as she told them, “Look at her. Look at… everything about her.”

Fang crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the couch, staring at Lightning as she appraised her. It took her a long moment, but suddenly her eyes went wide and she sat up straight. “Bloody hell,” she swore, realizing what one of the changes were, “your tits are fuckin’ bigger, aren’t they?!”

“What?” Vanille asked, not noticing it herself. “They are?” But it was understandable; it wasn’t a large difference, but it was just enough to make it noticeable to anyone who ever took a good long while staring at her boobs before and well, Fang had apparently done so before. 

“Shit,” Fang continued, still staring at her like suddenly everything was falling into place. “ _Shit._ And your—your face; Vanille said somethin’ to me about it awhile back but I figured, I dunno, that you were the only one agin’ at the time or that it was stress or… not that you look older or nothin’ just different. Not a lot; like the shape of it, y’know? I have no idea, but we just figured maybe it was aging or maybe we were seein’ things, we didn’t really think much of it cause it wasn’t that big of a difference but… but _fuck._ ”

She was on her feet then, practically making Serah and Vanille topple over on each other from the abrupt movement. “He did this to you, didn’t he?!” Fang exclaimed, pointing behind her to indicate the dead God who thankfully was nowhere near them anymore. “That fuckin’ sick bastard wanted you to be like his queen, yeah? The new Etro, and so he fuckin’ tweaked you like how he wanted. That’s bullshit, that’s _bull—!_ ”

“Fang, it’s—” Lightning tried softly, not wanting this to become an even bigger deal than it already was, because she had accepted – for the most part anyway – the changes in herself. When she had noticed, she didn’t have a soul, she didn’t have feelings; it made looking at herself easier, it made accepting it easier. And so when she was reborn into this body, the changes did bother her, but not enough to dwell on it. What was done was done; she just didn’t like to be reminded of it, that was all.

“No, it’s _not_ okay!” Fang shouted, knowing exactly what Lightning was going to tell her. “That sick fuck violated you; that’s not bloody okay at all!”

Vanille looked horrified as well, and her hands were hovering over her mouth as she exhaled softly, “Oh, Light… that’s _terrible…_ ”

Lightning swallowed, looking away from them both. She didn’t like to think of it like a violation, because that made it harder to accept. She wished Fang would stop making a huge deal out of this; although she knew that she had started it, with how she was acting when the subject of her tattoos came up, but it was a knee-jerk reaction and now all she wanted was to let it go. It wasn’t as though yelling about it was going change anything.

“Was that it?” Fang asked, still clearly furious by the realization and on a tirade at this point. “Or is there more?”

Lightning took a shuddered inhale of breath and glanced down at her abdomen just as Serah told them softly, “She doesn’t have her navel piercing anymore. It’s like it was never there; no scar, no… anything.”

“So what, tattoos are okay for the perv fal’Cie but not piercings? What a shitbag,” Fang swore, before she began shaking her head furiously and walking towards the front door. “No, fuck this. Fuck him. We’re not lettin’ him win.”

“Fang, where are you—?” Vanille tried, but Fang had already closed the door behind her, the wood slamming violently in her wake. All three women just stared at the place where Fang had once stood, unable to really comprehend what was going on or where she was going.

It was a good half hour until Fang returned, and when she did she stormed back into the house like she was on a mission, walking in on Serah and Vanille trying to comfort Lightning by snuggling into either side of her on the couch. They all looked at her in question, but when Fang held up the objects in her hand – a 14 gauge piercing needle, a clamp, and a simple bellybutton ring – it was obvious what she was trying to achieve. 

“You wanna take your body back, Soldier Girl?” she asked, and for the first time since they had begun having this conversation, Lightning felt herself smile.

It wasn’t the piercing, not really; while Lightning had enjoyed having it, she could easily live without it. But it was what it represented, and until that moment, Lightning hadn’t realized how badly she needed to reclaim her body as her own. And so as Fang’s smile began to match hers, Lightning nodded in agreement, and the huntress moved to place her equipment down on the coffee table.

“Both of you, up,” Fang encouraged to the two other women on the couch. “Let Lightning lay down.”

They both moved, but Serah’s expression masked in slight concern as she asked, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“The guy at the shop gave me the run down; sounded simple enough,” Fang answered, sounding confident that she could do this before she looked up and nodded over towards Vanille. “Go get me some rubbing alcohol, a paper towel, and a pen, yeah? I need to go wash my hands.”

As Vanille nodded and both women exited the living room, Lightning peeled her shirt off over her head in order to allow Fang some room to work, and as she moved to lie down she watched her sister crouch down next to her. Taking her hand in her own, Serah asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to just do this at a piercing parlor?”

“I don’t want a stranger touching me,” Lightning answered softly, her gaze flickering over her sister’s features. “I think I’ve had enough of that.”

Serah pursed her lips, distress etching across her brow from the meaning behind her sister’s words, yet nodded in acceptance all the same. She squeezed Lightning’s hand before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on her lips as Fang and Vanille reentered the living room. “No one will ever touch you again, Claire; I promise you,” she breathed softly, and Lightning gave her a gentle smile in return.

“Alright, is anyone here scared of needles and/or is going to faint at the sight of blood?” Fang asked, kneeling down next to the couch as she grabbed her equipment. Everyone just looked at her like she had to be kidding them, and Fang smirked. “Just checking.”

After pouring some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball, Fang dabbed the skin around Lightning’s bellybutton. As she waited for the liquid to dry she unpacked the bellybutton ring, unscrewing the top of the ball from the piercing before she laid both parts on the paper towel. Glancing at Lightning, she asked, “You need me to numb it first?”

Lightning shook her head no. She wanted to feel it; she wanted to acknowledge the change. She needed to.

Fang nodded, respecting her decision before holding her hand out to Vanille and requesting, “Pen.” The girl gave it to her, and Fang leaned down and carefully marked where the piercing would go before she sat back up, placed the pen on the table and unpackaged the sterilized needle. Keeping that in her right hand, she grabbed the clamp in her left and asked the woman on the couch, “You ready?”

Lightning nodded, taking a deep breath as she felt the clamp put pressure around the skin of her navel. Fang nodded to Vanille then, instructing, “Take her other hand,” as she lined up the needle with the skin on the inside of her bellybutton. Lightning felt her fingers tangle with Vanille’s, both of her hands now firmly being held tight by two of her girlfriends while the third was ready to shove a needle clear through her skin.

“One,” Fang began to count, getting her ready. “Two…”

“Don’t count, just do it,” Lightning demanded, and a second later she felt her skin pop as the needle was pushed roughly through her flesh in an upwards motion. She winced, but it wasn’t that terrible; Serah, however, did not seem fond of the sound it had made and had to close her eyes as she scrunched up her nose in distaste.

“Hey, look at that; I didn’t muck it up,” Fang said, sounding surprised at herself, which made Lightning shoot her an exasperated look because she had sounded so damn confident before. Clearly that was all a front. Noting the look on her girlfriend’s face though, Fang defended with, “What? It’s not like I’ve ever done this before. Just sayin’ I’m glad I made it straight, is all.”

Placing the side of the piercing without a ball into the hollow needle, Fang pushed it out until all that was in Lightning’s skin was the piece of jewelry. After screwing the ball back into the other side, Fang pulled back and admired her handiwork with, “There. Stand up for a sec; let us see.”

Letting go of the two girls’ hands, Lightning sat up before getting to her feet and turning around to face them. Placing her hand beneath her belly button a little self-consciously, she looked down at the piercing and asked them, “Does it look okay?”

Not that it really mattered in the long run; that wasn’t the point of it, but Lightning still wanted it to look alright.

“I want to lick it,” Vanille immediately said, looking at it like she was debating on doing just that, but Fang just pointed at her in warning and told her, “Nah ah, I don’t want your tongue anywhere near it; if you get it infected we’re gonna have words.”

Lightning glanced at her sister then, who was still staring at it as she slowly rose to her feet before crossing the distance between them. The older Farron’s brow furrowed as she watched Serah drop to her knees before her, gently placing her hand over Lightning’s as she encouraged it away from her stomach, kissing each finger in turn as she looked at the piercing nestled into her skin. 

But then suddenly her hand was dropped, and she felt fingers against her skin as a hot mouth covered the inside of her thigh. Lightning shuddered at the unexpected feeling, which in turn caused her cheeks to color a little as she realized Fang and Vanille were still watching them. They had yet to do anything intimate in front of one another – at least purposely – and as this seemed to come out of nowhere, Lightning wasn’t exactly sure how to take it. But then she felt Serah kissing her, and she realized what exactly it was that she was touching; her tattoo. 

She was trying to erase Bhunivelze’s touch; replace it with her own, with something better. It wasn’t enough for Serah to watch her sister take just a small part of herself back; she wanted her to have all of it again. And Fang and Vanille, realizing quickly what it was that Serah was doing, moved to join her as Vanille crouched behind her, placing her lips on the tattoo of the horse on her back as Fang joined Serah down near her thigh.

Lightning felt herself exhale a shaky breath at the feeling of all three of their lips on her, and as Serah left Fang to tend to the markings on her thigh on her own, she rose to her feet to kiss Lightning’s chest, her neck, and the underside of her jaw as she reached behind her and unclasped her sister’s bra. Lightning felt her breath shallow as Serah peeled it from her body, not really expecting to be undressed during all this, but maybe that was a foolish thought to have, as Serah clearly wanted to rewrite the memories on everything that Bhunivelze had given her, and her breasts were one of them. 

She kissed her then, her fingers squeezing her flesh as her thumbs dusked gently across her nipples, and Lightning felt herself exhale a small whimper against her lips as she closed her eyes. But then Serah’s lips dusked across her jaw, her cheek bones, before she whispered against her skin, “You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful, Claire; and that’s because of you, not because of him.”

Lightning hissed as she felt Fang’s teeth sink gently into her thigh, and she wasn’t sure which one of them popped the button on her shorts before she felt a hand slip beneath the fabric, cupping her possessively as all three women continued to kiss and lick and nip at her skin. “Fuck,” Lightning breathed, overwhelmed by the feeling of everyone’s attention on her as the hand pressed against her center began to move.

Someone’s fingers gently slid over her clit as Lightning felt Vanille stand behind her, the girl moving to gather her hair into her fist as she encouraged the soldier’s head to the side so she could mark the base of her neck. Lightning groaned low in her throat, struggling to open her eyes so she could figure out who it was that was touching her. It was Serah, who caught her gaze as she continued to pleasure her while Fang rose as well, capturing one of Lightning’s nipples in her mouth. 

Lightning’s eyes fell closed again and it felt like they were everywhere, touching and kissing every part of her skin while Serah gently stimulated her, building a fierce heat in the pit of her abdomen. She hadn’t expected this to happen; hadn’t expected that the first time they were all with one another to be solely based around pleasuring her, but Lightning couldn’t bring herself to hate it. Her breathing was beginning to increase, her chest flushing a deep rose as she hovered closer to the edge, and when she finally began to fall she felt Fang and Vanille hold her upright while Serah breathed into her ear, “Your body is ours, Claire.”

Fang kissed her then as she struggled to breathe, and as Serah slipped her hand from her sister and held her close to her body, nestling Lightning between herself and Vanille, she finished passionately, “Not his. Not anymore.”

**TBC...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I hate what they did to Lightning's character model in LR? lol, cause I hate what they did to her character model in LR, omfg. Anyway, two things: one, what just happened between the four of them does not count as their orgy, lol; just in case some of you guys feel robbed. And two, if any of you are interested in a more embellished version of Fang and Vanille’s backstory (which I am aware isn’t canon compliant in the slightest, but whatever haha), I’m currently writing a prequel piece that focuses on it. At the moment I’m unsure whether it’ll just be posted as a really long one shot (I’m already 25k+ into it), or if it’ll be posted in parts. Either way, that’ll be posted shortly after this fic is finished :)


	11. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 95% of this chapter is gratuitous porn, lol. I’d say I’m sorry about that but I’m really, really not xD

**CHAPTER XI**

It was Christmas Eve, and the four of them were in the living room, Fang and Vanille situated on the floor behind the couch, wrapping their boxed presents with paper while Serah and Lightning, who had already done theirs the other day, were sitting on the couch watching TV. Serah was curled into a ball on the opposite side, lying on a pillow as she stared blankly at the screen in front of her, not looking like she was watching it at all as she sighed softly.

“Vanille, will you—I’m not takin’ the tape off your tits, stop!” Fang complained, making Lightning glance behind her to see that Vanille had stripped herself of her shirt and was now bogarting the tape, tiny strips of it hanging off of her nipples as she tried to force Fang to use those to wrap her presents. She was laughing as Fang swiped for the roll and missed, and while Lightning was amused by the sight of it, she was more concerned with her sister’s demeanor as she turned her attention back to her.

“Hey… you okay?” she asked softly, reaching over to gently run her hand over the girl’s leg in a comforting gesture. Serah didn’t seem happy.

“I don’t want to go back to school,” she told her softly, exhaling another soft sigh before she allowed her gaze to connect with her sister’s. “I’m so much happier here.”

She would be leaving again in less than a week, and the corners of Lightning’s lips turned down into a frown as she continued running her hand over her sister’s leg. “Hey,” she tried softly. “You know I’m really proud of you, right? A master’s degree… that’s such a huge thing. Don’t diminish that.”

“It’s stupid,” Serah sighed heavily, rolling on her back as she placed her palms against her eyelids for a moment. “This world is stupid. I should be able to teach without all of that.”

Lightning understood that; back in their world, Serah didn’t need many qualifications to do what she loved and make a decent living at it. But when they were reborn here, they were imbued with the knowledge of the New World as though they had lived here their entire lives, and sometimes it was strange, to remember how it was, and yet also know exactly how this world worked at the same time. Sometimes things overlapped, but for the most part they were able to separate it. Lightning didn’t know why Bhunivelze felt he had to make this world so much more complicated, and so much less technologically advanced – at least in comparison to Cocoon – but that was the way things were now. They were adapting.

“You know you can,” Lightning reminded her, rubbing soft circles against her sister’s skin. “But you know you’ll get better job offers if you have it, and I know you want to be financially comfortable.”

“You’re lucky,” Serah sighed, looking over at her. “Being paid just because you saved the world. Not that that’s a little thing or anything, but still. It’s easy for you; you don’t have to worry.”

Fang and Vanille were in the same boat, although to a much lesser degree than Lightning. They had helped save the world, but Lightning was the one who had saved their souls. Apparently, the general population was extremely grateful for that. Still, Lightning just wanted to live a normal life, and being the beneficiary of people’s tax money wasn’t conducive to that. She had to shell out a lot of money in order to keep her name and face out of the news; she desperately did not want people to know who ‘the Savior’ really was, especially because of her unusual relationship with Serah. Being famous would be a quick way to destroy her life.

“Serah, you know I could easily support both of us with the kind of money I’m getting,” Lightning reminded her. Honestly, the only reason they weren’t in a bigger house with more elaborate furnishings was because a very large chunk of her money was going towards Serah’s tuition. If she wasn’t paying that, then they could still live comfortably together. Serah really loved teaching though, which was why Lightning offered to pay for her education. “Besides,” she admitted after a long moment. “Not working is getting kind of boring; I’ve been thinking of enlisting back into the military.”

Serah immediately sat up then, this look of fear and dread in her eyes. “No,” she told her. “No, you can’t.” Because they were done with fighting; they were done risking their lives for one another. But Lightning just put a comforting hand on her leg, needing her to understand that she wasn’t planning to go to war or anything.

“I mean that I could get a job at a Military Training Facility; there’s one a little less than an hour from here. I won’t be going anywhere and I won’t be fighting any wars directly, okay? Just training other people to,” Lightning explained, and Serah noticeably relaxed a little after that. “And if I do that, between my stipend and my paycheck, you won’t have to work if you don’t want to.”

Serah sighed heavily, leaning back against the couch. “But I want to,” she admitted softly. “I love teaching; I just wish I went to school a little closer now.”

“Do you want to transfer?” Lightning asked, because she was sure they could make that happen if Serah really wanted to. But the girl just pursed her lips and shrugged, unsure if she wanted to start over again somewhere else. “Well think about it,” Lightning encouraged. “You know I’ll support you in anything you choose to do.”

Serah nodded, but then turned when she heard Vanille giggle at whatever Fang was doing. Lightning redirected her attention again, noticing that Vanille now had ribbon all around her torso, tied in a bow that Fang was now trying to undo with her teeth. She had two sticky bows stuck to her nipples, and she tangled her fingers in Fang’s hair as she arched her back off the carpet, her giggles turning into a soft moan as Fang nipped at the skin around her breast.

Fang turned towards them then, seeing the two sisters watching them, and asked, “You guys wanna help unwrap a present?” she asked, smirking as she peeled the skirt and undergarments off of her girlfriend, right before slapping another sticky bow over the very top of the girl’s mound. Lightning bit the inside of her cheek at the sight, before glancing over at Serah, silently asking her what it was that she wanted. 

The closest they had ever come to all four of them being together was a few days ago, when they had comforted Lightning about her body. But even that wasn’t really about sex; it was about something more important than that, and afterwards none of the three other women had even asked for reciprocation. In the end, all they wanted was for Lightning to feel better about the changes that had been forced on her, allowing her to associate them with something different; something better. It was more about love and acceptance, than anything else.

And this… well this seemed to be something else entirely. 

While Serah had seemed to be adjusting to the thought of Lightning with other people, and vice versa, there was still a part of Lightning that feared that she wouldn’t be okay if she were to bear witness to all of it, considering what had happened when she had walked in on her and Fang last time. It was why neither of them had initiated a group ‘activity’ with them yet and just continued to do things on the side, but clearly Fang and Vanille were more than ready to blur those lines. 

But were they?

Serah, seemingly as unsure as Lightning was in that moment, instead tentatively asked, “Can we just… watch?” Which Lightning felt was a very solid middle ground at the moment, so she nodded and looked back at Fang for an answer, who was grinning.

“Voyeurism,” she mentioned, looking at the two sisters like she approved. “Kinky. I’m into it.” 

She smirked then, asking with a raised eyebrow, “Wanna see how kinky Vanille is?” She grasped for the ribbon again, forcefully bringing the younger girl’s hands together as she tied them tightly over her head. Vanille moaned as she roughly pulled on them, making sure they were tight, before Fang hissed in retaliation, “ _Quiet!_ Until I say otherwise, I don’t wanna hear a word outta you, y’hear me? Don’t make me gag that pretty little mouth of yours.”

Vanille eagerly nodded her compliance as Serah’s brow rose, apparently not having expected to see this side of either of them. Lightning though, who had already witnessed Vanille’s kinks personally, wasn’t at all surprised by how the girl was acting. Fang however, her experience with her had been a lot different, and this… well this made her picture very vividly Fang ordering _her_ around, and she felt herself begin to flush at the fantasy of it. 

Having given herself a little leash of sorts, Fang pulled at the ribbon that bound Vanille’s hands together, encouraging her sharply with, “Up!” Vanille sat up with a little help from Fang, and the other woman practically dragged her around in order to have her face the two sister’s more directly. “Knees to the ceiling. Spread your legs; let them look at you.”

Vanille complied instantly, and Lightning heard Serah inhale a sharp breath at the sight. It was incredibly attractive though; Vanille helplessly forced to be objectified while Fang stood behind her, keeping the woman’s arms raised above her head as she held onto the ribbon-fashioned leash. Lightning moved to her knees and leaned against the back of the couch next to Serah then, giving herself a better angle from which to watch, before she felt her sister take one of her hands in her own and squeeze it tightly.

“Do you want them to fuck you?” Fang asked, expression hardened and unsympathizing at Vanille’s current predicament, which seemed to be turning her on more than anything, if how wet she was was any indication. The girl squirmed, clearly aching to be touched.

“Yes,” she breathed, staring at the both of them with a hunger in her eyes.

“Well they’re not going to,” Fang told her harshly, wrapping the ribbon around her wrist and pulling it further, making Vanille’s back straighten completely. “And neither am I, and do you know why?”

“Because I’ve been bad,” Vanille answered, her voice breathy and soft, as though she knew being any louder than that would upset Fang when she was in this mode. “I kept the tape from you and now you’re angry with me.”

“That’s right,” Fang said, before suddenly stepping away from her and letting the leash go, causing Vanille to topple down onto her back. “Now don’t move,” she ordered as she shrugged herself out of her sari, having the garment pool at her feet. Lightning and Serah watched with growing interest as she rid herself of her undergarments as well, finally standing completely naked in front of Vanille before she turned back and winked at them. Neither Farron woman dared to breathe.

She knelt down then, placing her knees on either side of Vanille’s face as she faced the two sisters, her center dangerously close to her girlfriend’s mouth. Immediately Vanille moved to try to taste her, but a firm hand was placed on her chest, keeping her down as Fang snapped, “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You think you _deserve_ to taste me right now?”

“No,” Vanille answered immediately, an apology in her tone as she continued, “No, I don’t deserve it. I’m sorry; I’m really sorry, Fang.”

“Shut up, I’m tired of hearing you talk,” Fang ordered, sounding exasperated with Vanille’s pleas for forgiveness. “I don’t want you to move, I don’t want you to make a _sound_ until I say you can, do you understand me?” Vanille quickly nodded her compliance before Fang chose to look at them then, her eye contact switching between Lightning and Serah as she slid a hand down her body, spreading herself to their hungry gaze. Serah sucked in a sharp breath at the sight, and Fang told them, “Tell me if she moves, or if she stops watching. If you lie to me for her benefit, it won’t make me happy; and believe me, _neither_ of you want to see me unhappy.”

Both sisters nodded their compliance in succession, suddenly very much a part of Fang’s little game of dominance as she completely owned everyone in the room. They watched then as Fang brought her fingers to her lips, her tongue sneaking out for a taste before she replaced it between her thighs, beginning to rub small circles against her clit. All three women watched her as though she were the only thing that existed in that moment, although it was much harder for Vanille, whose face was mere inches away from Fang’s sex and was completely immersed in the smell of her, and the warmth that was radiating from the apex of her thighs. 

Lightning’s nails were trailing across her sister’s bare thigh of their own accord as she watched, and as Fang’s breathing began to labor Serah whimpered, bending a little further over the back of the couch as she spread her legs in invitation. Fang noticed the state of her, the light flush to Serah’s cheeks and the desperation in her position, and she mentioned to Lightning, “Your sister looks like she needs you, Light; you wouldn’t want to disappoint her… would you?”

There was more to that question than just the words she had said, and Lightning knew it. It was Fang’s test to see if they could blur the lines a little more, make this a little more interactive between the four of them, and she bit down on her bottom lip as she glanced over at her sister. Seeing the desperation on Serah’s face, Lightning turned towards Fang then and told her, “No… I wouldn’t.” Fang grinned wickedly.

“Good,” she told them, her breathing still coming out a little unevenly as she continued to pleasure herself in front of them. Poor Vanille was still stuck on the floor, and Lightning could see her insides continuously clench as she tried desperately to get some kind of relief. “Do it over her panties,” Fang ordered. “Once she’s come in them I want to use them as a gag for Vanille.”

Vanille groaned at the thought of that, which caused Fang to stop what she was doing to herself as she grabbed the ribbon that bound the girl’s chest, wrenching her upwards as she demanded, “Did I say you could make a sound?!” Vanille immediately shook her head no, but didn’t apologize; words would only get her into further trouble. Fang let her go then and Vanille exhaled a small breath of relief, glad that she wasn’t going to get punished for it as it would only prolong her own pleasure. 

Finding something incredibly sexy in a dominant Fang, Lightning did as she was told as well, moving flush against Serah as she allowed her hand to get lost beneath her sister’s skirt. Pressing her fingertips against Serah’s clit through the fabric, Lightning could feel how wet she already was as her sister whimpered, pressing her hips harder into her hand. 

“I want to see a show, Light, so you better make her come before me,” Fang told her, placing her tongue beneath her incisors as she grinned, completely drunk with power. “And I’m already close, so you better get a move on. You wouldn’t want to… _disappoint_ me, now, would you?”

“…No.”

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear ya there.”

“No!” Lightning exclaimed, flushing a little at her compliance towards the other woman. She would have never fathomed that this was how this would play out, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t turn her on. Fang owning all three of them might be a fantasy she never allowed herself to entertain, but found she was drowning in nonetheless. “No, I won’t disappoint you, Fang. I promise.”

“Good girl. Now make Serah scream for me.”

Lightning focused all of her efforts on doing just that, beginning to rub tight, fast circles against her sister’s clit through the fabric of her underwear. The lack of any kind of buildup made Serah cry out, fingers curling around the back of the couch as she pitched forward, closing her eyes from the feeling. But Fang tsked her, telling her, “No, Serah; you watch me while your sister fucks you. Don’t take your eyes off of me, or I won’t let Lightning finish you.”

Serah groaned, sounding both turned on and worried that she might not be able to comply with Fang’s wishes, but opened her eyes and watched as Fang continued to get herself off with her fingers over Vanille’s face. The girl beneath her was breathing heavily, clearly already turned on past the point of sanity as she practically salivated at the sight above her. And Lightning, well Lightning kept putting an unbelievable amount of pressure on her sister’s clit, desperate to get her off before Fang finished herself because the woman was moaning now, moaning and flushing and panting and Etro, she had to finish Serah, she had to, she had to…

Still keeping her sister’s panties on per Fang’s demand, Lightning just moved them to the side a little so she could slip her thumb inside of her while her fingers continued to pinch her clit between them as she roughly stimulated her. Serah cried out her name, slamming her hand against the fabric of the couch as she tried desperately to keep her eyes on Fang, who was watching the faces Serah was making like they were one of the sexiest things she had ever seen. 

And yet, instead of allowing herself to get off on it, she stopped the movements of her own hand just as she ordered, “Stop,” to Lightning as well. She did so without question, and Serah practically sobbed in desperation as she collapsed her cheek against the back of the couch.

“No, no,” she pleaded, looking at Fang helplessly. “Please, Fang; _please…_ I was watching you, I swear!”

Fang chuckled, picking herself up from the ground. “I know, sweetness; you’re not being punished, I promise you. Not like this one.” She grabbed the ribbon leash then, forcing Vanille to roll over onto her stomach before she smacked her ass. The sound was loud, but not as loud as the moan that followed in response. Fang smirked. “You’re lucky I’m in the mood for the sound of your voice,” she told her, before delivering another smack that made Vanille raise her ass and beg.

“Please, Fang, please—I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Oh, I know you will,” Fang responded confidently. “But you’re still gonna be the last one to get off, and nobody’s had an orgasm yet. It’s unfortunate, really.”

Vanille whimpered helplessly, practically sobbing into the carpet from the torture Fang was inflicting on her. She must love it though, because she didn’t beg anymore; didn’t question Fang’s judgment of her fate. She just lay there, sprawled on her stomach with her ass in the air, the skin of it beginning to redden into the shape of Fang’s handprint. 

“But,” Fang continued, running her finger gently down the crack of the girl’s ass in a way that made Vanille shudder, “if I _was_ to be kind to you, what would you want?”

“Anything,” Vanille breathed, not one to ask for more than she should. “Anything you want, Fang; I’d love _anything_ that you’d give me, honest!”

“Tsk, come on, now; do you really expect me to believe you don’t have a fantasy?” Fang asked, lightly chiding her as she looked down at the crumpled mess that held the form of her girlfriend. “Lightning and Serah are here; are you telling me you wouldn’t want one them to touch you?”

Vanille apparently took too long to answer though, and as Fang’s hand connected with her ass again, the girl shouted out her answer of, “Serah!” The sound of her own name made Serah whimper in need again, but Lightning wouldn’t touch her; she wasn’t allowed to. Fang grinned at the answer she was given.

“Oh yeah? And what would you want Serah to do to you?”

“Go down on me,” Vanille breathed desperately. “I want her to go down on me, Fang, _please…_ ”

“Hm,” Fang responded, feigning thought for a moment. “That’s a good idea, actually,” she told her, before she tugged the leash and forced Vanille to roll over again, before bringing her to her feet. Lightning felt herself take a sharp inhale of breath, not entirely sure if she would be okay with seeing Serah go down on Vanille, despite the part of her that was desperate to witness it. It was incredibly conflicting.

But when Fang brought Vanille over to the sisters, she finished, “Unfortunately, just not for you,” before she pushed Vanille down into the armchair that faced them, apparently planning on forcing her to watch more things she couldn’t participate in. Vanille whined in protest, but Fang ignored her as she grasped Lightning’s hand in hers, pulling the other woman towards her.

Lightning’s breath left her as her chest collided with Fang’s, the woman’s hungry gaze looking as though it would devour her whole. She brought Lightning’s hand to her lips then, her lips slowly wrapping around the finger that was inside Serah as she groaned at the taste. Lightning was fairly certain she was close to coming just from the sight of it, and couldn’t bring herself to move, speak, or breathe. It was like she suddenly forgot how.

“I want your sister to go down on me, Light,” Fang breathed then, holding eye contact with her as she asked, “Will you let her?” Lightning blinked, surprised that it was formed as a question, and not a demand, as that had been their dynamic for the last twenty minutes.

“You’re asking?”

“Yeah,” Fang responded softly, letting her dominance slip away for a moment to let Lightning know that this was actually a very serious question about their boundaries. In the end, she wouldn’t do it if they weren’t comfortable with it. “I’m askin’.”

Lightning knew she probably should have taken longer to think about it, but in the end a part of her ached to see it, and that overshadowed her own doubts and fears. Besides, she told Fang once that she trusted her with Serah, and that hadn’t changed. So she nodded her permission then, and Fang leaned in to kiss her softly before she turned to Serah.

“And you?” she asked. “Do you want to go down on me while I let your sister finish you?”

“ _Yes,_ ” Serah breathed without any forethought to think of, the prospect of getting off probably overriding her ability to really comprehend much outside of that. She looked like she was on the verge of just straddling the arm of the couch and humping it to get some release. “I’ll do anything you want, I promise.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Fang responded, grinning as she stepped back from the two sisters for a moment. “Now… both of you are wearing far too many clothes; get rid of them. Quickly.”

If there had been a record for fastest clothing removal, Lightning was sure she and Serah would have easily gotten it as they undressed themselves in an embarrassingly short amount of time, clearly eager to continue playing Fang’s little game. Fang grinned wickedly then, grabbing both of the women’s underwear before moving over towards Vanille. They were both fairly thin, yet stretchy fabric, and Fang wrapped them around her girlfriend’s head before placing the part with the most fabric in Vanille’s mouth. The girl groaned at the taste of both of them, before trying to rub her thighs together to get some friction.

“Ah, ah,” Fang chided, grabbing the girl’s hands and bringing them above her head as she situated her back against the arm chair. “Hold onto the back of this. Knees up and spread; I’ll want something pretty to look at while I’m getting fucked. And if you’re good, if you don’t move or try to give yourself any kind of relief, then I’ll considering being generous and letting one of them fuck you afterwards. Would you like that?”

Vanille eagerly nodded, this look of utter desperation on her face before Fang chuckled and turned, heading back over to the two sisters. She situated herself on the far end of the couch then, leaning back against the cushions in a comfortable position before she spread her legs, looked directly at Serah, and beckoned her over with a singular finger. Serah nearly tripped over herself to get to her. 

But Fang stopped her before she dove straight into the apex of her thighs, briefly holding up her hand before she glanced at Lightning, a slow smirk crossing over her features as she told her, “You too.” Lightning’s brow rose, as she thought she was going to be pleasuring Serah, but she didn’t question Fang as she moved to her sister’s side. Serah was on her stomach on the couch and Lightning kneeled next to her, both of them situated between the other woman’s thighs.

“I fucked myself to the thought of this once,” Fang admitted, looking at the two sisters as she allowed her hand to fall between her legs, using her fingers to spread herself for them once more. Lightning was fairly certain that she was salivating, and it was terribly embarrassing, to want this much. “Havin’ both of you go down on me at once. Think I kinda want to make that a reality now.”

Neither sister hesitated, nor questioned. Completely immersed in this fantasy world that Fang had brought them into, they both just leaned in, allowing themselves long, slow licks against Fang’s sex. The woman groaned, tangling her fingers in both of their hair as she pushed her pelvic bone towards them, needing more contact. The two sisters’ tongues met and they kissed briefly before getting back to work and pleasuring Fang, hearing Vanille whimper helplessly as she watched them. “She’s jealous,” Fang breathed after a soft moan. “Aren’t you, love?”

Vanille responded to her, but her words were muffled from the panties in her mouth and all she sounded was desperate. Fang laughed before allowing the sound to turn into a long moan, Serah having started to suck on her clit while Lightning nipped on the inside of her thigh. “Fuck,” Fang groaned, her hand fisting harder in Serah’s hair before the girl let her clit go, moving to the side a little to allow Lightning more room. The two sisters continued to share then, looking up at Fang as they let their tongues work the woman off. 

Fang stared down at them, her chest beginning to heave and flush. “You both look so much alike,” Fang panted, pushing both of their hair out of their faces as they worked. “Fuckin’ beautiful, y’know? Vanille and I, we’re… we’re bloody lucky.” She moaned then just as Vanille tried to shout something behind her gag, and that moan turned into a chuckle as she corrected, “Well… _I’m_ lucky. Vanille’s two seconds away from cryin’.”

Fisting Lightning’s hair in her hand, she pulled on it a little to get her attention. She moved then, being encouraged over towards Fang before the woman kissed her, groaning at the taste of herself on her lips. When they broke, Fang was still panting, Serah completely focused on her clit now as the older woman ran her fingers across Lighting’s cheek and told her, “Do me a favor, Sunshine… yeah? Give Vanille… a little relief with that mouth of yours. But don’t… don’t finish her, okay? When she looks like she’s about to… about to get off… I want you to finish your sister instead. You understand me?”

Lightning nodded, and Fang smiled at her before she brought her in for another kiss. But then Serah must have done something _very_ good to her because she ripped her lips away from her, her head falling back as she exhaled a long groan. So Lightning moved away from her, heading over towards Vanille instead who was dripping so much that at this point she had actually made a rather large wet spot on the cushion of the armchair. Fang was right; she did look about two seconds away from crying.

Lightning knelt between the girl’s knees, looking up at her as she gently pulled the fabric that was in her mouth out, letting the panties hang around her neck. “Light,” Vanille begged softly, apparently terrified that she might not be touched despite Fang having granted her permission. “Light…”

“Shh,” Lightning breathed, finding herself completely fascinated with how easily Fang seemed to have broken her. Vanille must have incredible trust in her, to allow Fang to torture her in this way; Lightning was sure that if the positions were reversed, she wouldn’t have been able to deal with it any longer and would’ve ended the game prematurely. Pulling on the panties around the girl’s neck, she encouraged Vanille towards her a little, capturing her lips in a soft kiss before she whispered, “You’ll be okay; I’ll take care of you…”

“Please,” Vanille practically sobbed as Lightning began to make her way down her body. “Please…”

She could hear Fang’s breathing begin to labor behind her, the sound of Serah’s name falling appreciatively from her lips as Lightning stared at the apex of Vanille’s thighs. She was quite small and compact down there save her inner labia, which was actually fairly large; and with how turned on she was right now, her center had become reddened and engorged, making it look even bigger. As such, Lightning took careful care when she finally lowered her mouth to her, knowing that Vanille was already seconds away from releasing the tension that had built within her. She wasn’t supposed to get her off completely, after all; Fang would no doubt be terribly unhappy if she allowed her to.

So instead, Lightning just spread the girl with her fingers before just barely touching her with the tip of her tongue. It was enough to make Vanille cry out though, her back arching in the chair in desperation as her fingers curled around the back of it. Lightning continued to be very gentle with her though, which in all honesty might have been making Vanille’s situation worse as she begged shamelessly, “More… ple—please, I can’t…!”

Lightning ignored her though, catering to Fang’s wishes over Vanille’s as she slowly got the girl just close enough to the edge that her cheeks flushed dark red and she begged Lightning shamelessly, unable to stop. But Lightning just hushed her with a gentle, ”I’m sorry,” before she replaced the gag in Vanille’s mouth, and turned to finish Serah, as Fang had instructed. She felt terrible about Vanille, who looked like she was on the verge of crying again, but she was also certain that if the girl didn’t want this, then Fang would in no way make her do it. Fang would hurt herself first before she, in any way, hurt Vanille.

Fang had been growing progressively louder as Serah fucked her, and when Lightning finally turned around to face them, her brow rose as she saw Serah directly on top of her, slamming her fingers in and out of the woman with such brute force that Fang seemed to be having trouble just taking her next breath. Which was apparently what she was going for as she grasped one of Serah’s wrists, encouraging her hand around her throat. The allowance of dominance made Serah’s eyes nearly go black with lust, and she looked positively breathtaking as she fucked Fang like she owned her. And it was only a façade, they both knew that, as Fang was still the one with all the power, and yet in that moment Serah let it over take her as she pressed down on the woman’s windpipe, cutting off her breathing just as Fang’s body began to convulse in pleasure. 

Serah let go immediately after she had come, both women breathing heavily while Fang nearly choked on the sudden allowance of oxygen. She grinned though, purring as she rolled her hips into her, making Serah gasp hard as her body flushed with need. ”Light,” the older woman called out, voice breathless and spent. “Finish her on top of me.”

Lightning didn’t need to be told twice.

Fang encouraged Serah to turn around so she was laying on her back on top of her, nestling the girl’s neck against her shoulder as she hooked her legs around Serah’s, spreading them and pinning them as she did the same thing to the girl’s arms. Lightning got between them, hovering over the two of them as she allowed her fingers to run through Serah’s folds. Her fingers were completely covered in fluid almost immediately and Serah moaned desperately as Fang began sucking on the skin beneath her ear. 

Lightning slipped inside of her then, easily using three fingers despite the fact that Serah could usually only take two, as this entire encounter had gotten her wetter than anything Lightning had ever seen before. Vanille shouted something behind her gag as she watched them, sounding desperate enough that it made Fang laugh again. “Patience,” she told her, glancing over at her girlfriend. “I told you that you would be the last to come, and I meant it.”

Between the fact that Lightning felt bad for Vanille, and the blaringly obvious evidence that Serah was already worked up enough as it was and required no foreplay, Lightning began to fuck her in earnest, her nails digging into her sister’s thigh as she twisted her fingers inside of her. Serah cried out her name, trying to arch her back but struggling to do so in Fang’s hold, and in the end all she could really do was just lie there and take it however Lightning wanted to give it to her, because Fang wasn’t allowing her to move an inch.

“Beg her,” Fang hissed in the smaller girl’s ear, her eyes catching Lightning’s before she grinned wickedly. “Beg her not to stop or I’ll have her walk away right now.”

“Mmphh, plea—please, Claire,” Serah complied readily. “Please, sis, don’t—don’t stop…!”

Lightning’s brow rose at the term ‘sis’ because Serah rarely called her that anymore, but she realized why she had once Fang had groaned approvingly in her ear like it was the sexiest thing she had ever heard, going back to sucking on the skin of her neck as Lightning worked her off. Apparently, Serah had realized that a part of Fang got off on the fact that they were sisters, although Lightning was sure if she had taken a moment to think about it, she probably would have realized it as well. The ‘you both look so much alike’ comment had been a little telling, after all.

Still, Serah clearly enjoyed the little power that she held over Fang, and as Lightning continued to fuck her, instead of saying her name over and over it was whispered praises of ‘sis’ and, honestly, Lightning knew she shouldn’t like it, that it was probably really screwed up, but the reminder of the fact that they were related actually got her off as well as she fucked Serah into submission until she was shaking, screaming, coming.

“Fuck,” Fang breathed, cradling Serah’s head between her arm and her shoulder as the girl’s body continued to have small tremors. She looked at Lightning then, who was flushed and breathing heavily, so far past the point of turned on that she was praying, _praying_ they wouldn’t take too long to reciprocate, and Fang continued, “Guess I’m easier to read than I thought.” Her expression crumpled into one of hesitant guilt then as she asked, “You pissed?”

“That you’re turned on by the fact that we’re related?” Lightning asked breathlessly, just trying to verify, and Fang nodded. Lightning shook her head though, sitting back on her heels. “Rather you have a fetish for it than be disgusted by it.”

“…Fair point.”

Vanille whimpered in the corner, bringing all three women’s attention back to her. Fang smirked, gently patting Serah’s arms as she encouraged, “Up.” Serah climbed off of her, but as Lightning moved to get off the couch, Fang said, “Not you,” and pushed her back down with one hand. “ _You_ will sit there until Serah and I decide what to do with you.”

Serah smirked, like she felt as though she had gone through some kind of rite of passage with Fang and was now her right-hand woman. And maybe she had proven herself to Fang a little bit, both with the asphyxiation and the realization of her incest kink, but at the end of the day, Fang was doing it for one of two reasons; one, being second best clearly irritated Lightning and that amused her, and two, both of _them_ had already had an orgasm.

But Lightning, apparently not one to argue when the hierarchy had already been established in the bedroom – or living room, as this case may be – just sat on the edge of the couch, waiting to be told what to do. Not that it stopped the irritated glare in their direction though, but still; she was at least obeying them.

Fang chuckled before telling Serah, “Wait right there,” before walking down the hall, disappearing into her and Vanille’s bedroom. It didn’t take long before she emerged though, carrying a large wooden box that made Serah’s brow rise.

“What’s that?”

“Our box of fun, sweetness; take a look,” Fang encouraged, placing it at the girl’s feet. Serah plopped down on her knees and opened it up, her eyes going wide at the arsenal of sex toys that were inside of it. Lightning shared a similar look as well, but Vanille… well Vanille looked like if she didn’t get one of those inside of her in about two seconds that she might just die on the spot.

“You guys really use all these?” Serah asked, her voice no more than a breathy whisper as she looked at all of them in awe, picking them up one by one.

“Haven’t gotten to everything yet, but yeah, most.” Fang crouched down next to her then, telling her, “I want you pick out two things; one for Vanille, and one for Lightning. Can you do that for me?”

Serah pursed her lips, looking excited as she eagerly nodded her head. She dug through the box for a moment before pulling out a strap on, dangling it by the harness on one finger as she held it up to Fang. The woman smirked, clearly pleased by her choice. “Yeah?” she asked, grabbing it from her. “For Light or Vanille?”

“Lightning.”

Lightning squirmed at the sound of her own name and the toy that accompanied it, and Fang’s smirk widened. “You want to do the honors?” But Serah shook her head.

“I want you to. We…” she began to explain before briefly glancing over at Lightning, “Once, when we were… you know, Light asked me what I wanted you guys to do to us, and—”

“Serah, don’t you dare!” Lightning interrupted, not wanting Fang to know what they had gotten off to, because she knew she’d never hear the end of it. But Fang laughed at the desperation in her voice, which of course made her even more curious.

“Oh no, now this I’ve _got_ to hear. What did you tell her?”

Serah bit her bottom lip for a moment, looking a little shy but telling her outright, “That I wanted to watch as you took her from behind. I made her… I made her think about it as she got off; had her say your name and everything.”

Lightning groaned, her entire face flushing a deep crimson as she pulled her knees to her chest and hid herself behind them. But Fang just seemed elated by the news and responded, “ _Really._ And she liked this little fantasy, did she?”

Serah nodded, looking a little amused by the embarrassment she had caused her sister by voicing that out loud. “It was right after that when we decided to… make this thing between us official, because after what we did, we knew we couldn’t just—”

“Serah, for the love of—stop _talking!_ ” Lightning begged her, looking at her incredulously while Fang just laughed. “You’re not winning any points here, for Etro’s sake!”

“Maybe she’s not from you, but she definitely is from me.” Bringing Serah into a side hug, she kissed the girl on the forehead and told her, “You just keep telling me all of Lightning’s little secrets and I’ll make sure you’re well taken care of in _any_ way that you like, yeah?”

Serah grinned at that, always having enjoyed being the center of attention, being doted on, and Lightning just scoffed as she leaned back against the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. “…Traitor.”

Fang smirked and looked back at her. “Don’t fret, Light; favorin’ Serah a bit right now doesn’t mean that I’m gonna forget about you,” she said, her smirk widening. “After all, I’m apparently about to fulfill one of your dirty little fantasies; so from what I figure, you should be thanking me right now for the attention I’m about to show you.” She arched her brow then, like she actually expected her to say _thank you,_ and Lightning looked at her incuriously. 

“You’re funny,” she deadpanned.

Serah shot her a chiding look. “Claire, don’t be rude. You want Fang to make you come… don’t you?” She said it so innocently, but she had a mischievous look in her eye as she subtly told Fang that she wouldn’t be opposed to her refusing to do so if Lightning didn’t comply. 

And Fang, being Fang, looked like she had just won the lottery as she used the most condescending voice she could muster as she told her, “Yeah, you still want me to make you come… don’t you, Light? Because I don’t want to feel _unappreciated…_ ”

Lightning didn’t budge though, pursing her lips defiantly as she stared at her. After being embarrassed, she wasn’t going to make this easy for her. Fang chuckled. “We’ll get back to that,” she said, before turning towards the toy box again. “Alright, find one for Vanille. Because—” At the sound of her name Vanille whined, and Fang looked up to see her quite literally sitting in a puddle of her own desire. “Well, because if ya don’t, she might just die,” she finished, smirking a little as Vanille tried to say something behind her gag, causing the sound to come out muffled and inaudible. 

Serah picked something up from the box then, holding it up as she asked, “What’s this?”

“A butt plug.”

Serah immediately dropped it and Fang burst out laughing.

“It’s clean, don’t worry. But Vanille likes…” she pursed her lips for a moment as she dug through the box before she found what she was looking for; a two pronged dildo that, when Fang switched it on, began buzzing and pulsing. Serah’s eyes went wide. “This. And I can’t use that until I get her ready for it first.”

Vanille, at the sight and sound of it, began making desperate noises again, practically squirming in her seat with need. Fang quirked an eyebrow at her. “If you want this you know you’re gonna have to wait a little first; you really up for that?” Vanille nodded her head though, apparently all for being violated in places Lightning never even—she just didn’t ever _think…_

Fang looked at Serah though and told her, “Up to you though. I know it’s not exactly standard, and your bloody sister looks scandalized just from the sight of it.” Serah looked at her then, and Lightning forced herself to close her mouth and stop gawking. 

“I…” Serah tried, looking a little overwhelmed by it. But then she looked a little guilty, like she was apologizing as she said, “I mean, maybe I might want to try it _later,_ or… or watch you guys do it, but for now can I just—?”

Fang put the toy back in the box. “Hey, we ain’t gonna make you do anything you’re not comfortable with, alright? Don’t worry about it. Here, just use this,” she offered, holding up a single-headed, ridged dildo. “Promise ya she’ll be happy with anything you wanna give her; isn’t that right, Vanille?” 

The girl immediately nodded, shooting Serah a desperate look so she could just _pick something_ and get on with it, and Serah bit down on her bottom lip as she took the toy from Fang and said, “Okay,” with a little smile, glad that they were staying in her comfort zone. Already this encounter had been enough firsts for them.

Fang kissed her on the forehead then as she rose, grabbing the strap on that was designated to her as she begun to get herself into the harness. “Don’t make her come yet though,” she told Serah. “Not until I’m done with Lightning. _Believe_ me.”

“Fang, you can’t just—” Lightning tried on Vanille’s behalf, looking at the girl in the chair. She looked miserable, like she was so turned on that it was more painful than pleasurable now. “You should stop torturing her. _Look_ at her.”

“Trust me, Sunshine; at this point Vanille knows exactly what I’m doing to her and why,” Fang assured her, glancing back at the girl. “And you want me to keep doing it, don’t you? Because you know what happens at the end of the road.”

Vanille nodded enthusiastically, and Lightning’s brow rose at the sight; she had assumed Vanille was desperate to get off, and maybe she was, but apparently she was also content with her blatant orgasm denial. “Why?” Lightning asked. “What’s going to happen?” She couldn’t imagine what could be worth all this. 

Fang smirked. “You’ll see.” After securing the straps on her harness, she turned to her then and said, “Now… about that gratitude you should be showin’ me.”

Lightning shot her a look like she had to do better than that if she wanted something out of her. And Fang, loving a challenge, just met her silence with an, “Oh yeah? This how it’s gonna be?” before practically picking Lightning up in one fell swoop and dumping her on the couch on her stomach. Not having expected that, an embarrassing kind of squeak came from Lightning’s lips as she was unceremoniously dropped, and Fang chuckled as she swung her legs over either side of the woman’s thighs, straddling her.

Lightning swore she wouldn’t be that easy, but then Fang ran the tip of the strap on down the crack of her ass, and Lightning whimpered and her hips lifted of their own accord. She had spent the last hour watching Fang fuck herself, watching her _sister_ fuck Fang, fucking Serah herself, and then playing with Vanille and Etro, she was absolutely soaked. Even getting embarrassed by Serah’s little admission did nothing to diminish _that_ and besides, Serah had been right, hadn’t she? This was one of her fantasies. She wanted Fang to do this to her.

_Desperately._

She heard a muffled moan from Vanille then and she turned her head, watching Serah slide the toy inside of the girl and turning it on. But her attention on them was short lived as suddenly the flat of Fang’s hand connected with her ass, making her moan and lurch and swear. “Oh, I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Fang asked facetiously. “Kinda like my feelings, when I felt unappreciated? How shit of me to inflict that back on you, yeah? Maybe I should stop. ”

Lightning knew this was a test though; a serious question masked beneath their little role play as Fang tested the waters with something new, and now needed to know if it was something Lightning enjoyed. If she told her to stop then she would, Lightning had no doubt in that, but just something about the position she was in and the fierce need to challenge Fang after already being so compliant and having _Serah_ being favored over her for it, made her bite back, “You’ve never been able to hurt me with a punch to the face, so why would you think a slap on the ass would?”

“Ooooh,” Fang exclaimed, sucking in a breath at the unexpected comeback to keep from chuckling. “Yeah, you think I can’t hurt you; that it?”

“I know you can’t.”

“Well, I hate to break it to ya, Soldier Girl; but every time we sparred?” she began, before grasping a fistful of Lightning’s hair, forcing her head to the side as she leaning in to whisper in Lightning’s ear, “…I was pulling my punches.” Lightning was about to call bullshit, but Fang’s hand connected with her ass again and she cried out, biting back a swear as her fingers clawed in the couch.

“So maybe,” Fang continued, the words being followed by another slap. “You.” Slap. “Should.” Slap. “Think.” Slap. “Twice.” A final slap, and Lightning swore loudly and panted as Fang finished, “Before challengin’ me, yeah?”

Lightning’s breathing was coming out in sharp bursts, her entire ass hot and stinging from the abuse Fang dealt it. And yet, crazier still, it only made her wetter. Still, she wasn’t sure how much more she could take before it crossed the line from pleasurable into uncomfortable, and so when Fang asked her, “Ya got somethin’ to say to me now?” she immediately breathed out, “Thank you.”

“Yeah?” Fang asked, and Lightning could hear the smirk in her voice as she continued, “Thank you for puttin’ you in your place, or thank you for what I’m about to do to you?”

“Both,” Lightning panted, knowing that was exactly what she wanted to hear. And it was, so Fang moved off of her then, just enough so she could put her arm beneath Lightning’s hips and encourage them off the couch while still keeping her chest flat on the surface. 

Lightning planted her knees then, spreading her legs as wide as she could for her as Fang situated herself behind her. Her cheek pressed up against the cushions, she stared at Vanille and Serah, the latter of whom was making the girl in the chair nearly go crazy with need as she moved the toy in and out of her at an agonizingly slow pace, apparently loving the way just a simple movement made Vanille thrash and whine like crazy. Serah happened to glance back at her then though, and the sight of her sister in such a submission position made her cheeks flush and her lips part.

And Fang, having noticed that Serah was watching, rubbed the tip of the strap on over Lightning’s clit as she encouraged, “Thank your sister for tellin’ that story to me, Light. Tell her how grateful you are.”

“Thank you,” Lightning exhaled immediately, but that didn’t seem to be enough for Fang as she slapped her on the ass and demanded, “Like you mean it!”

“Thank you!” Lightning practically shouted. “Thank you, Serah, thank— _fuck,_ ” she swore, her gratitude being cut off as Fang slid the entire thing inside of her, meeting absolutely no resistance because of how wet she was. “Fuck,” she swore again, feeling it fill her completely. “Fang, _fuck…_ ”

“Mmm…” Fang purred, apparently liking the sound of her name falling from Lightning’s lips. “A girl could get used to this.” And then she was grasping Lightning’s sides, pulling out a little before she roughly encouraged her hips to slam into her, causing Lighting to cry out at the feeling of it. 

Fang didn’t build up a rhythm, didn’t allow Lighting to prepare in any way. Instead she slammed into her over and over so quickly that Lightning couldn’t even think, couldn’t even breathe. All she could do was cry out her name and grasp onto the couch, feeling the heat that had been building ever since they started this little endeavor to expand until it felt as though it would devour her whole. 

Vanille’s screams nearly matched her own, which was a feat since hers were still muffled by the panties in her mouth. It caused Fang to look over at them though, worried that Serah was going to finish her prematurely as she told her, “Stop! Don’t let her—” But Fang couldn’t finish her sentence, as Lightning, needing absolutely all of her attention so that she could finally be allowed to get off, hoisted herself up enough in order to move away, letting the strap on fall out of her body. 

Fang looked dumbfounded by the action, but that look was nothing compared to when Lightning turned around and roughly pushed her backwards, causing her back to hit the cushions as she swung her legs over either side of her hips and mounted her. Fang’s eyes went wide as she watched Lightning grasp the phallus in her hand, guiding it back inside of her before she placed the flat of her hands on Fang’s chest, keeping her pinned while she rode her.

“Holy…” Fang breathed, apparently not having expected to be topped when she was the one wearing the strap on, yet impressed and turned on by it all the same. “ _Shit,_ Light…”

“If you’re fucking me, you pay attention to me,” Lightning demanded, continuing to ride Fang as her chest flushed and her breathing shallowed. Fang nodded her compliance immediately before grasping onto the soldier’s hips, helping her bounce up and down on the phallus as she stared at her like she was the sexiest thing she had ever witnessed and, okay, that was much better.

Lightning could feel herself getting closer, and she desperately fucked herself against Fang as her inner muscles began to clench. But then there were hands on her, Serah apparently having obliged Fang’s request to stop what she was doing before, and as lips were pressed against her ear a violent shiver ran down Lightning’s spine as her sister told her, “I want to watch you come all over her, Claire,” and, well, she was very much done at that point.

They both had to hold her as she shook so that she didn’t fall straight over, Fang’s hands holding steady to her hips as Serah’s arms wrapped around her torso, gentle lips being places against her skin as she kissed her down from her high. She felt Serah smile against her skin as she finally opened her eyes, her gaze connecting with Fang’s, who still looked a little flabbergasted at the switch of positions between them.

“That was… really fuckin’ hot,” she admitted finally, and Lightning smirked before she finally moved, pulling the dildo from her before allowing herself to collapse on the couch.

Vanille practically shrieked behind her gag, demanding attention now, and Fang chuckled as she sat up, addressing her with, “Don’t worry, you’re next. Serah, go get a few towels.”

Serah blinked, confused. “Towels?”

“Just trust me.”

Serah still looked confused, but exited the living room to do as she was told as Fang knelt down next to the toy box, digging around inside of it until she found what she was looking for it and held it up to Vanille’s gaze. The girl practically convulsed with anticipation, squirming around in her seat desperately as she nodded her head. Fang grinned.

“What is that?” Lightning asked, still trying to catch her breath as she watched the two of them. She had never seen a toy like that in her life.

“Something that’s gonna make her come until she cries,” Fang answered easily, moving over to the chair that her girlfriend was in. Squatting down, she found the outlet nearby and plugged it in, causing Lightning’s brow to rise because something that plugged _in_ had to be intense. She had no idea how Vanille was going to handle it, considering she already looked like if she got touched one more time she’d orgasm for days, but her curiosity got the better of her as she picked herself off the couch.

As Serah came back with a few towels, Fang ordered Vanille, “Up,” before she instructed Serah, “One underneath her, and one on the floor in front of the chair.” Serah did as she was told, and when Vanille sat back down, Fang finally took the gag out of her mouth, pulling it down so it rested around her neck.

“How long?” she asked her seriously. “Because I won’t be able to count how many with this.”

“Until it stops.”

Fang’s brow rose. “I don’t know how long that’ll be; it might end up bein’ too much for you. Sometimes it can go on for a while, you know that. And we’re probably already gonna scare the shit outta them as it is.”

Lightning and Serah glanced at one another, trying to see if the other knew what the hell they were on about, but neither of them seemed to have a clue as they turned back when Vanille told her, “I don’t… I don’t _care._ I waited. I waited for all of you! I _want_ this, Fang; don’t tell me no.”

“Okay,” Fang responded softly, brushing the hair back from her eyes. “Okay. But we’re doin’ it with a safe word, and I’m preparin’ them first so they can decide if they want to be here for this or not, okay?”

“Prepare us for _what?_ ” Lightning asked, not sure if she liked the way this sounded, even though Vanille seemed adamant about wanting it.

Fang looked between them then, taking a breath before she explained, “Okay, take… the best orgasm you ever had, yeah? And then imagining having that twenty, thirty times in a row. Without stopping.” Serah’s brow rose at that, and Fang continued, “Your body would barely be able to handle it, y’know? Would instinctively try to move away and get relief, because there’s a point when too much pleasure can almost be torturous. But Vanille… she wants us to hold her down. To force it on her. To make her come over and over despite her body barely being able to handle it.”

“She’s gonna scream,” Fang told them both seriously. “She’s gonna cry, and she’s gonna tell us to stop. _Beg_ for us to stop doin’ this to her, you understand? That’s why we have a safe word; so once she says that, if she says that, then we’re immediately done. But before that, we’re not.”

Lightning sucked in a sharp breath, not really knowing if she was comfortable with doing something like that. She didn’t know if she could hear Vanille scream at them to stop and then _not_ do it. 

“It’s intense, I’m not gonna lie to you,” Fang continued. “And if you don’t wanna do it that’s fine, I’ll bring her into the bedroom so I can tie her up and do it myself, but remember… Vanille asked for this. She wants it. And if she doesn’t, then she knows exactly what to say to get us to stop.”

Serah swallowed, looking apprehensive as well, but at the same time a little curious as she asked, “What’s the safe word?”

“l’Cie,” Vanille answered immediately, and Serah nodded her understanding before she bit the inside of her cheek in thought. 

“You guys in or out?” Fang asked, glancing between the two sisters. Both of them were quiet for a long moment, before Lightning decided she needed a little more information before she made her decision.

“You really like it?” she asked Vanille. “Even though it makes you… _cry_ and beg?” Because honestly, for the life of her, that didn’t make any kind of sense.

Vanille nodded, licking her dry lips for a moment. “I know it sounds insane, but it… it makes me feel like everything isn’t real anymore. Everything disconnects, and afterwards I can float and it’s… it’s _wonderful._ ” She smiled then – this wide, beautiful thing – and it was that, more than anything else, that made Lightning okay with doing this. She might not understand why the girl felt the need to torture herself to make herself happy, but if just the thought of something made her smile like that, then who was she to say no?

“Okay,” Lightning responded, nodding. “I’ll do it.” 

Fang looked at Serah then, who glanced up at Lightning before finally nodding her consent. “Alright,” Fang told them. “Light, you’re on her arms, Serah, you got her right leg. Do not, and I can’t bloody stress this enough, do _not_ let her go; if you do she’ll probably end up hurtin’ herself.”

Serah looked a little nervous at that, but moved over to her designated spot as Vanille settled back into the chair, spreading her legs and holding her arms up for Lightning to hold. Fang wrapped her arm around Vanille’s other leg, holding it firmly to her chest as her other hand turned on the toy in her hand; this big stick like thing with a rounded top. It started vibrating so hard and so fast that the sound of it caused Lightning’s brow to rise as she watched Fang hover it over the girl’s sex. 

Looking Vanille in the eye then, she asked seriously, “You ready?” And Lightning tightened her grip on Vanille’s wrists as the girl swallowed and nodded, just before Fang finally allowed the toy to touch her flesh.

At first, it wasn’t bad. Vanille jerked a little, panting hard as her orgasm quickly built up, but it got to its precipice so damn fast that neither Lightning nor Serah was prepared for her to violently convulse less than twenty seconds into it before a very large gush of liquid squirted from her vagina, covering the towel beneath her. 

“Holy— _hell!_ ” Lightning exclaimed at the same time Serah shouted something, neither of them having expected that in the slightest. Lightning had heard of female ejaculation of course, but honestly she thought it was a myth. But this… this was not. And Etro’s tits, _it didn’t stop._ Maybe for a second or two, but then she’d squirt again, the distance looking like it was getting longer.

“Oh yeah,” Fang panted as an afterthought, although she was barely heard over Vanille’s screams as she thrashed beneath their hold. “When I deny her an orgasm for a long time, _that_ tends to happen. Figured you’d assume with the towels, but apparently not.”

“Fuck, _fuck!_ ” Vanille screamed, her body unable to stop coming as the vibrations to her clit were relentless, causing her to thrash and convulse as her pussy continuously pushed out more and more fluid. “I… I can’t—Fang, please; please stop! Stop! I— _ahhhh!_ ”

Her scream was piercing, and her body was thrashing so violently that Lightning had to use all of her strength to keep her still. Vanille was sobbing, tears falling down her cheeks as she spewed nonsense words and continued to come, soaking absolutely everything around her as she shook and cried and pled. And it had to have gone on a good three minutes, with her having a countless amount of orgasms, and Lightning feared that maybe Vanille forgot the safe word because at this point she seemed practically out of her mind, but then it seemed her body couldn’t expel anything anymore, and she finally stopped coming.

Fang immediately ripped the toy away from her, not even bothering to shut it off as she threw it on the ground. Lightning let Vanille go then, and as the girl immediately curled into a ball, shaking and crying, her heart clenched in her chest as she watched Fang wrap her up in an embrace, replacing the girl’s form on the armchair so Vanille could curl up on top of her instead. “Shh,” she breathed, holding her to her. “It’s okay, you’re okay…”

Serah practically looked traumatized, breathing fearfully, “We didn’t hurt her, did we…?” But Fang shook her head, cradling Vanille’s to her chest as she pet her hair.

“She’s like this at first. Give her a minute.” She kissed the top of Vanille’s head then, holding her protectively to her as the girl’s body continued to convulse from the aftershocks as she sobbed into her neck. Lightning prayed Fang was right but in the meantime, to distract herself from thinking about how she might have just hurt someone she really cared about, she began cleaning up the room; putting the towels in the laundry and putting the toys back in their box.

When she was finished though, it seemed Vanille had calmed down; she was no longer crying, but she was still shaking a little, just small tremors that made their way through her body. Fang smiled against the top of her head then, asking her, “How do you feel?”

“Like… like I can _fly,_ ” Vanille breathed, sounding completely off her head, but happy all the same. Lightning’s brow rose, not having expected this after what she had just witnessed. “Am I flying, Fang?”

“Yeah,” Fang told her softly, kissing her forehead as she told her adoringly, “You’re flyin’, love; where do you wanna go?”

“The stars…”

Lightning watched her sister smile softly as she listened to them, and in turn it made Lightning relax, since she feared after the look Serah had previously that this might have scarred her. But Serah seemed okay now, and so did Vanille, so Lightning placed herself next to her sister on the floor and took her hand in hers. Fang looked over at them, smiling gently, letting them know that it was okay as well; that this experience might fuck Vanille up, but in the end it did it in a good way, in what Lightning assumed would only be temporary.

“I can see them, y’know.”

“The stars?” Fang asked gently, playing along. And Lightning knew that Fang loved her, but it didn’t really strike her then how much she really did until she watched her cradle Vanille in her arms, looking down at her like she adored everything that she was as she spoke to her in the most gentle tone Lightning thinks she had ever heard her use. “I bet they’re beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Vanille breathed, her eyes just barely open as she laid limp in her lover’s arms. Fang smiled at the compliment, and the sheer amount of love in her eyes made Lightning smile as well as she gently pulled Serah to her, holding her in her arms as her sister laid her head on her shoulder.

“I want them to come,” Vanille told her, voice still airy and distant. She almost looked like she was thirty seconds away from passing out completely.

“Lightning and Serah?”

Vanille nodded, her eyes falling all the way closed then. “I want them… to come to the stars with us, Fang. Forever.”

“Forever?” Fang asked softly, glancing at the two women across from them as Vanille only just barely nodded her agreement, before finally her entire form slumped against Fang, and she was completely out. Fang smoothed Vanille’s hair away from her forehead before she placed another gentle kiss against it and breathed across her skin, “Okay, love. Forever, if that’s what you want. Promise I’ll try.”

Whether it was what they both had just said, or the way that Fang looked at the girl in her arms, Lightning didn’t know, but something caused Serah to look very emotional all of a sudden as she untangled herself from her sister’s embrace, crawling across the floor in order to wrap herself around Vanille’s form as she cuddled into her from the other side.

Fang looked at Lightning then, and the older woman moved as well, placing herself on the ground next to the chair as she gently leaned her head against Fang’s thigh. And it was there that the four of them stayed, cuddled up next to one another, until one by one, they all finally fell asleep in one another’s embrace.

**TBC…**


	12. XII

**CHAPTER XII**

Lightning rubbed the back of her neck as she descended the stairwell the next morning, trying to massage out the kink that resided there due to the short nap they had all taken together in the armchair yesterday. Even sleeping in her own bed last night didn’t seem to help, and as Lightning turned her head to the side she heard it crack before she stifled a small yawn, moving her head back and forth as she tried to loosen it up. That was the last time she’d fall asleep in an odd position, that was for sure.

When she entered the kitchen she saw Fang leaning on the counter by the coffee maker, trying to rub the tiredness out of her eyes. The woman turned when she heard someone enter, and a smile broke out on her face as she realized who it was. “Hey,” she greeted, voice husked with sleep as she approached her, sliding her arms around Lighting’s waist as she drew her closer, bringing her in for a morning kiss. “Merry Christmas.”

Lightning’s nose crinkled at that, and as Fang pulled away from her she asked, “What?”

“Have you ever thought about how disgusting this holiday is?” Lightning responded, thinking of the myth that had been implanted in her mind when she was born anew in this place. “It’s essentially celebrating Bhunivelze’s rape of some unsuspecting woman, forcing a child on her that she didn’t ask for.”

Fang’s brow rose. “Well you’re cheery this morning.” The coffee maker beeped and Fang turned, moving over to the cabinets to grab two mugs from the second self. “You know it’s all bullshit, yeah? The woman and the child didn’t even exist; they couldn’t, since we’re the first generation of people on this earth. It’s just a story, Light.”

“Yeah, but if Bhunivelze was able to finish what he started, would we even remember that we were?” Lightning countered, watching Fang pour them both a cup of coffee. “I don’t think we were meant to remember how it was before; it was just an accident, since I killed him before he had a chance to put the finishing touches on his little creation. What if, eventually, we forget where we came from, and all we have left are the stories of this world? It becomes real then, and then essentially we’re celebrating some poor woman getting violated for the sole reason of making us believe that a God that no longer exists can perform miracles to save us.”

“Alright, it is _way_ too early in the morning for this kind of talk,” Fang responded, pouring milk and sugar into the respective cups before turning, handing one to Lightning. “Just drink your coffee, yeah? And maybe focus on the presents part of this day instead of the story that’s behind it. You like presents, don’t you?”

Lightning shot her a look like that wasn’t the point to all of this, and Fang sighed softly as she crossed the space between them, gently placing her hands on each of her girlfriend’s arms. “Light,” she addressed softly. “The bastard’s dead, okay? Don’t let him haunt you like this; I know what he did to you was fucked up, but no one is celebrating that, okay? This is something entirely different; something completely fictional.”

“This might be, but _Kaihōsha no Densetsu_ isn’t,” Lightning told her softly, remembering how the people of Yusnaan celebrated the legend of the Savior as the end of days began to draw near. At the time, as an emotionless vessel of God’s will, it didn’t bother her. Now however, the thought of people not only celebrating her soul getting ripped from her body, but the physical change that was bestowed on her to make her ‘worthy’ of being Bhunivelze’s champion, made Lightning sick to her stomach. He had taken Serah from her; she hadn’t done it out of loyalty or duty to her God, she was forced into it to save her sister, and he had violated and changed her to suit his ends along the way.

Fang frowned. “You think people will still celebrate it?”

“Considering we’re currently getting paid out of their tax money, Fang; I’m fairly certain they’ll want to make it seem like a good thing by celebrating me. Us. I don’t know,” she sighed heavily, shaking her head as she put her cup of coffee on the table. She didn’t want it anymore. “I haven’t heard anything, but you know if they do it that it’ll be on the anniversary of us coming to this world.”

“I thought you were payin’ people to keep your name and face outta all this,” Fang responded, her brow crinkling. Lightning exhaled a long breath, rubbing the back of her neck.

“There’s a difference between my name and face, and my title and image, Fang. They’ll just get some other pink-haired girl to pretend to be me; not having the real thing won’t stop them.”

A myriad of emotions passed over Fang’s face then, as though the woman couldn’t settle on how she should feel about that before finally, she focused on anger, and responded strongly with, “Nah, fuck that.” Lightning’s brow rose in question, and Fang reiterated, “I ain’t gonna let ‘em do that shit to you. They’ll hold that bloody festival over my dead body.”

“And how exactly do you plan to stop them?” Lightning questioned, disbelieving and yet legitimately curious.

“I don’t—I don’t know,” Fang responded, stumbling a bit over her answer as she realized she hadn’t exactly thought this through. “Fuckin’ sue their asses or something; everyone’s piss scared of lawsuits in this world, right? Plus I’m pretty sure you own the rights to, y’know, _yourself._ Fuck, I don’t know, ask Serah; she’s the one with the fancy education around here.”

Lightning laughed softly, finding something incredibly endearing about Fang’s perplexed rage on her behalf. The woman had no idea which direction to point it in, but it was there nonetheless, and Lightning appreciated that. “Serah’s studying to be a teacher, Fang; not a lawyer,” she reminded her softly as she tangled their fingers together, glancing up at the woman’s face before she gave her a soft smile. “But thank you… for hating the thought of it as much as I do.”

Fang sighed softly, gently resting her forehead against the other woman’s. “Maybe we just shouldn’t celebrate shit in this house,” she suggested, seeming to deflate a little. “All the holidays that exist in this world are because he made them, so maybe we just should… forget that they do. Purge that fucker’s memory from our lives.”

“I thought you were excited for presents.”

“Hey, I’m not sayin’ that we shouldn’t celebrate _other_ things,” Fang responded with a smirk, before she gently bit down on her bottom lip, slid her arms around Lightning’s waist and pressed her lips to her ear as she whispered her amended holiday declaration of, “Happy the day after our first orgy, Light.”

Lightning snorted at that, but her amusement fell away to a soft moan as Fang wrapped her lips around the base of her neck. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of it as she allowed her fingers to fist in the other woman’s hair. “We’re not… making a ‘holiday’ out of the fact that we all had _sex_ with each other, Fang…”

“Maybe you’re not, but I am,” Fang responded with a chuckle, grasping ahold of her ass as she brought Lightning impossibly closer to her. The woman against her exhaled an appreciative murmur at the possessive gesture, wrapping her arms around Fang’s neck. “It’d be like an anniversary or whatever.”

“Shouldn’t we be celebrating it next year then?” Lightning countered, her words coming out breathy as Fang continued to kiss and nip at the skin of her neck. Fang growled in protest then, using all of her strength to lift Lightning up by her ass, forcing the woman to wrap her legs around her body lest she wanted to fall over. “Fang—!” she protested, not exactly the type to be swept off her feet, but Fang just silenced her words with a kiss before she led them over to the wall, pressing Lightning’s back up against it.

“Stop tryin’ to kill my fun,” she demanded, causing Lightning to chuckle at the absurdity of the woman’s idea of _fun,_ but the laugh quickly turned into a moan as Fang nipped roughly at her bottom lip before bringing their lips together in a fierce kiss. Lightning straightened her back as she grasped the woman’s face between her palms, trying to tower over her and control the kiss despite her current position. For being a very blatant bottom most days, there were times when she liked to top, and she was more than aware of Fang’s interest in the reversed roles as well, at least after last night.

“Mmm,” Fang murmured against her lips, the sound vibrating her flesh as a firm squeeze to Lightning’s ass caused the woman to exhale an appreciative groan. “You think I’d be able to fuck you up against this wall without droppin’ ya?”

“Probably,” Lightning breathed against her lips, and although that did sound _terribly_ appealing right now, unfortunately… “But you’re not going to.” Fang’s expression immediately went from confident to crumbled, and Lightning had to stifle a laugh at how utterly disappointed she suddenly looked. Her pout was kind of endearing, honestly; although not like she would ever admit that out loud. Fang would be absolutely insufferable if she knew how much Lightning actually adored her, and so that secret was going with her to her grave.

“What, why?” Fang whined, slacking her grip a little so that Lightning could land gracefully on the floor in front of her. “Come on, Light; it’s the day after orgy day. Besides, what did I say about stoppin’ my fun train?”

Lightning smirked, placing her palm on Fang’s cheek and stroking her skin comfortingly with her thumb. “Sorry,” she responded, although it probably sounded more condescending than sympathizing, mostly because she was still so amused by the look on Fang’s face. “But Serah said she wanted to make breakfast for us today, and if we start having sex all over the kitchen you know she’s gonna be angry about the cleanup.” Her brow furrowed then, and she asked, “Where is she, anyway?”

“Serah?” Fang questioned, looking confused that Lightning would ask. “I thought she was still sleepin’ upstairs.” Lightning shook her head though, her maternal instincts kicking in as she immediately began to worry; Serah might not be her daughter, but she still raised and looked after her all the same, and thus the girl was still her responsibility. And besides, it was Christmas morning; if she wasn’t at home, then where else would she be? Her entire family was here, after all. There was no reason for her to leave.

“No, I woke up alone. Are you sure she’s not with Vanille?” Lightning asked, needing to double check before she got herself all worked up for nothing.

“Nah, I just came outta there about five minutes before you came down. Vanille’s still out cold; last night really took a toll on her.”

Lightning pursed her lips into a thin line. That feeling of dread and panic began to spread, despite her knowing full-well that she was probably being irrational. Regardless, she took off from the kitchen, checking every room downstairs before she headed upstairs to double check. Nothing. When she came back down though, Fang was at the bottom of the stairs with Lightning’s phone in her hand. “My car’s gone,” she told her, apparently having already checked outside for her as she tossed the woman the cell. “Maybe she ran to go get groceries or something; do you know what she wanted to make for breakfast?”

Lightning shook her head, looking down at her phone as she scrolled through her contacts. Finding Serah’s name she quickly texted, “Where are you?” A part of her really wanted to call, but she didn’t want Fang to think she was panicking when it was no doubt something to not even get herself concerned over. Serah was an adult and she could take care of herself. Still, with everything that had happened in their lives, it was second nature to think the worst sometimes.

Thankfully her phone beeped right away, indicating an arrival of a new text. “Shopping,” was all it said, and Lightning exhaled a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, her worry quickly making way to irritation over the fact that she _had_ to worry in the first place.

“You couldn’t have left a note?” she texted back because, _honestly._ It was like Serah didn’t know her at all.

“Sorry! I thought I’d be back before you woke up. I’ll be home soon, I promise,” Serah wrote back, adding a little heart to the end of the message, no doubt to curb Lightning’s irritation. And annoyingly enough it worked, at least a little. Sighing softly, Lightning looked up at Fang, who had a questioning look on her face.

“She’s shopping,” she told her as she descended the last step of the stairs, crossing the room to collapse in the armchair in a huff. Not even because she was irritated, but because she couldn’t stay irritated at Serah for long. Sometime she hated being so easy; it was for this exact reason that Serah was basically allowed to do anything she wanted when she was a teenager. “She said she’d be home soon.”

“Hopefully with my car still in one piece,” Fang responded, crossing the room to stand in front of her before she moved with one easy motion, swinging her legs over either side of Lightning’s thighs and plopping herself in her lap, effectively trapping her. The soldier quirked an eyebrow. “What? I can’t sit on ya now?” Fang asked, feigning innocence despite how blatantly she rubbed herself against Lightning’s thigh when she was ‘adjusting’ her position.

“I don’t think you’ve _ever_ sat on me, to be fair. Besides, you still have that look in your eye.”

“What look?”

“The one that says, ‘I want to penetrate you’,” Lightning responded, trying to suppress her smirk as she wrapped her arms around the other woman’s waist, enjoying the closeness of her. Still, she had to tease, “Are you _ever_ satisfied?”

“Light, I’ve got three girlfriends and only one life; tryin’ to fit everybody in and make the most of it is _exhausting_ but hey, y’know me; always willin’ to try,” she responded, shooting Lightning a wink before she placed her hands on the top of the armchair, using it as an anchor as she slowly rolled her hips against the woman beneath her. Lightning bit down on her bottom lip as she watched her, finding the sight incredibly attractive. Fang was only wearing a sports bra and some loose boxer shorts, so her fluid movements allowed Lightning to see each individual muscle in her stomach as they tightened and relaxed and, Etro, she wanted to lick them.

One person should not be allowed to be this attractive; it was entirely unfair.

“Besides,” Fang murmured, catching her gaze before she allowed her eyes to slowly roam down Lightning’s form, looking as though she would rip the world apart just to be able to eat her alive, “just seeing you is giving me _very_ vivid flashbacks of you ridin’ my cock last night; your tits bouncin’ everywhere, the look on your face… might have been one the hottest things I’ve ever seen.” She stuck her tongue beneath her incisors, smirking as she caught Lightning’s gaze again; she knew her words were going to embarrass her a little, and she wasn’t wrong.

Lightning lightly flushed, not exactly the type to take blatantly sexual compliments well. So instead of responding to that, she avoided the subject of what her breasts may or may not have looked like while she rode Fang’s little detachable appendage and said instead, “I thought you’d be allergic to that word,” because it was the first thing she could think of. 

Honestly, Fang’s stomach muscles were still distracting her a little.

Fang’s brow crinkled. “What word?” she asked, before she seemed to run the sentence through her head one more time. Her brow rose then, before she tilted her head a bit to the side and said a little disbelievingly, “Cock?”

“Hm?” Lightning asked, not really listening to her; she was still staring at her stomach. Fang rolled her eyes though and put her finger under her chin, forcing Lightning to look her in the eyes and pay attention. Suddenly, she looked deadly serious.

“You’re stereotyping me, aren’t you?” Fang stared at her for a long moment, and when no answer came she exhaled a short laugh then, like she couldn’t believe it yet was irritated by it all the same. “Etro’s tits, you totally are. Shit, Light; come on.”

“What?” Lightning asked, confused for a moment about what the hell they were even talking about. Her brow crinkled then, feeling a little perplexed as she seemed to catch up to the situation. “You’re not gay?” she asked, because she had been sure that she was; Fang’s entire existence practically radiated rainbows, didn’t it?

“Did I ever say I was?” Fang countered, arching an eyebrow. Lightning flushed a little, getting a bit uncomfortable with this conversation because she was fairly certain she just managed to offend Fang, and that was not what she was aiming to do right now.

“No…”

“Then why did you assume that?”

“I don’t—I don’t know, I just…”

“Well I’m not,” Fang told her, thankfully interrupting since Lightning had no idea what to say in her defense. This was going from bad to worse, and she couldn’t even get away from it because she was trapped directly underneath Fang. “You don’t gotta be all dainty and shit like Serah to be bi,” she finished, albeit rather defensively and she continued to stare at her, disbelieving and irritated by the assumptions the other woman had made.

Lightning’s heart clenched in her chest at the look she was being given. Damnit, the last thing she wanted to do was upset her; what a terrible way to start a holiday.

“Hey,” Lightning tried softly, her brow crinkling in distress as she placed her hands on the other woman’s arm, running her hands comfortingly down the length of them. Clearly she had hit a sore spot, and she felt absolutely terrible about that. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t—I shouldn’t have assumed that, it was stupid of me.”

“—It’s fine,” Fang responded, taking a breath to settle herself down as she pushed the hair out of her eyes. Apparently she wasn’t looking to fight, which Lightning was thankful for. Regardless though, she wished Fang wouldn’t tell her that it was fine when it obviously wasn’t. “Just—you hear shit like that your whole life, people judging you just based on the way you look or how you act, and it can get a little… bloody fucking irritating, honestly. Shoulda expected it though, I guess.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Lightning responded, knowing that she was completely in the wrong here. “I should have asked before I assumed anything; I’m really sorry. Honestly, I’m just not… a very good judge of sexuality in general. I don’t even know my own, so the last thing I should probably be doing is trying to determine other people’s.”

Fang’s brow creased then, finally catching her gaze again. “What do you mean; you don’t even know your own?”

Lightning shrugged a little self-consciously. “I haven’t… really had much experience in order to determine it yet, I guess. I don’t know. My entire life, all I really saw was Serah. Well,” she amended, realizing that wasn’t entirely true, “there was this one friend that I had, her name was Aryyn – Serah _hated_ her…”

Fang chuckled, realizing exactly why. “I bet.”

“Anyway, she and I kissed a few times in a… variety of places on each other’s bodies, but that… that was as far as it went. I’ve never even kissed a man, so I don’t—I mean, I’m not really sure if I’d like it or not,” Lightning admitted, trying not to feel foolish as she divulged her own lack of experience. In all honesty, _Serah_ didn’t even know; they never spoke about their past lovers or lack thereof, and Lightning didn’t think her sister even knew that she had technically lost her virginity to her. She didn’t exactly announce it to her when it happened, after all.

“I’m reserving judgment, I suppose,” Lightning finished, looking up at the woman atop her a little uncertainly, like she didn’t even know if she even had a right to speak about her own feelings on the matter, considering she wasn’t exactly well-informed. Sometimes she hated being so utterly inexperienced; it made her feel ridiculous. “Even though I might not ever know.”

“I can respect that,” Fang responded, nodding understandingly, and that at least made Lightning feel a little better about divulging it. “But hey,” the huntress mentioned, tapping Lightning on the arm a little as she smirked enticingly. “If you ever get the go ahead from your sister, you and I could always pick up a man for the night so you can try to work it out, if ya want; how Vanille figured out she was _ragingly_ homosexual, honestly. It was kinda hilarious.”

“She is?” Lightning asked, surprised; although why she was, she wasn’t sure anymore. Clearly she had already demonstrated that she was the worst judge of people’s sexualities in the history of ever. “What happened?”

“We picked up this guy a few villages over; it was how we got away with it, by the way, bein’ with each other. Vanille went into the trading business when she was sixteen and I was always out on a hunt, so we’d meet up somewhere that no one knew us and bang the shit out of each other,” Fang explained, shifting her position a little so that her legs wouldn’t cramp from being stationary for so long. “Anyway, Vanille knew I’d been with a man once and she said she was curious, so I found some guy and brought him to our room in the Inn. Second he dropped his pants – and I shit you not – she wrinkled her nose and said, ‘Ew, never mind, I don’t want to play with that’.”

Lightning’s mouth dropped open. “In _front_ of him?” 

Fang laughed. “Yeah. Hurt his precious man-ego, of course; but I sucked him off and he got over it real quick, so it didn’t really matter much.” Lightning’s nose immediately wrinkled though at the idea of Fang going down on a man, and the brunette’s eyebrows rose at the reaction. “Yeah, you might be more on the gay side, Sunshine,” she observed, chuckling a little, apparently much more amused by her distaste over the thought than offended, which Lightning was thankful for. The last thing she wanted to do was upset her again.

“Maybe,” Lightning admitted, shifting a bit in her seat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation, but only because she hated not having all the answers. “But it’s just… _that,_ that doesn’t really appeal to me. The rest… doesn’t sound like it would be a terrible experience, or anything. I don’t know; it’s pointless even talking about it, really.”

“Well, like I said…”

“I have three girlfriends, Fang,” Lightning responded, looking at the woman like she had got to be kidding her with her little suggestion. “The chances of me being so unsatisfied that I have to find it elsewhere is slim to none at this point.”

“It’s not about being unsatisfied, Light; it’s about havin’ new experiences.”

“I’m fine,” Lightning assured her, because she wasn’t in any hurry to label herself. She was fine with the way things were, and completely content never knowing. She was happy with the three of them, and she wouldn’t want to mess that up by asking permission to go sleep with someone else. Although that thought made her realize something, and she looked up at Fang as she asked, “Wait… do you and Vanille still plan to sleep with other people?”

They had never talked about that, and maybe they should have, because to be quite honest, Lightning wasn’t very comfortable with the idea. Not only would she be jealous, but whoever they slept with slept with her and Serah by proxy, and she wasn’t fond of promiscuity because of the risks involved.

But Fang shook her head. “Nah, she and I talked about it; figured that if we ever wanted to we’d bring it up with you guys, but for the time bein’ it’s better to just focus on the four of us. Lot less complicated that way.”

Relief flooded Lightning’s chest at that answer and she smiled in approval, snaking her hands around the other woman’s waist as she looked up at her. “Well… good.” Fang smirked at the look on her face, an eyebrow quirking.

“Why, cause you’d be jealous?” she asked, knowing precisely the way that Lightning ticked. Her smirk widening, she teased, “Want us all to yourself, do ya?”

Lightning rolled her eyes, refusing to dignify that with an actual answer. “Don’t be insufferable about it.”

“But why would I stop, when I know that’s what you secretly like about me?” Fang responded, biting gently on her bottom lip as she looked down at her and, damnit, was she that transparent? It might be a good idea to look into that, because Fang knowing all of her secrets seemed like it could be dangerous for her mental health.

Lighting didn’t get a chance to respond though, as just then the front door opened and Serah practically fell through it with bags all on her arms. “Hi, sorry,” she greeted as she used her foot to kick the door closed behind her, although not before nearly tripping on the welcome mat. Fang immediately got off of Lightning to help Serah with her bags, and Lightning pursed her lips, immediately missing the contact. “Most of the stores were closed, so it took a little longer than I expected just trying to find something that was open.”

“That’s why most people do their shopping _before_ the holidays, Serah,” Lightning lightly chided, looking at her like she should have known better as she folded her feet underneath her, sitting cross-legged on the chair. 

“I know, I just—there was some things I wanted to get, and—I’m sorry, I know you worry; I should have left a note.”

After dumping her purse on the couch, she turned to face Fang to express her gratitude for helping her with, “Thank you,” before she leaned in and kissed her briefly on the lips in greeting, wrapping her arms around the woman’s neck as she lifted herself up onto her toes. “Merry Christmas.”

“Ah, no; we don’t celebrate Christmas in this house anymore,” Fang responded as they pulled away, which caused Serah to shoot her a confused look before she crossed the space to give her sister a kiss in greeting as well. “This is the day after orgy day.”

Lightning rolled her eyes, grasping her sister’s hand in her own after the kiss she was allotted, gently pulling the girl down into her lap before she wrapped her arms around her waist, feeling the girl’s small stature fit seamlessly against her own. “Don’t listen to her,” she responded, shooting Fang a look that clearly stated, ‘you really are utterly insufferable’. Placing her chin gently atop her sister’s shoulder, she continued, “Ever, actually. About anything. You’ll be better off that way.”

Fang shot her a sarcastic look before she flipped her off, causing Lightning’s lips to upturn into a small smirk. Serah giggled, apparently finding something terribly amusing in the lightly antagonistic nature of the two women and, well, at least they were entertaining. “You know, I’m honestly a little surprised I didn’t walk in on the two of you naked,” she mentioned as she snuggled into her sister’s form, and Fang threw up her hands, exasperated.

“Hey, I was _tryin’_ , but your sister just wanted to sit there and talk my damn ear off. Mostly about the first chick she’d ever been with though; Aryyn or something, wasn’t it?” Fang asked, knowing full well that was exactly who it was and how Serah would react to the mention of her name. As Lightning’s mouth dropped open, Serah gasped hard and immediately ripped herself out of her sister’s arms, taking a few steps back from her before pointing at her in accusation.

“I _knew_ you had sex with her!”

Lightning exhaled an exasperated breath as she shot a death-look at Fang, holding out her hands haplessly as she asked, “Why? Just… _why?_ ” Fang smirked, looking far too pleased with herself.

“Hey, you told her not to listen to me; not my fault she didn’t take your advice.”

Alright, she really needed to make a memo to not pick on Fang when the woman already had ammo of her own; lesson learned, she supposed. Sighing hard, Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to explain, “I didn’t—I didn’t have sex with her, Serah. Not… really. It was just teenage curiosity; there wasn’t anything romantic about it. It was a lot of… I don’t know, fumbling and giggling. It was stupid; it didn’t mean anything. Both of us agreed that it didn’t really count anyway.”

Even with the explanation however, Serah still looked immensely betrayed by the information. Which was ridiculous, honestly, because they weren’t even together back then, and yet Lightning felt terribly about making her sister feel that way all the same. 

Lightning was about to have very strong words with Fang about going too far when they antagonized one another, as it was an entirely different matter when it upset other people, but then Fang came up behind Serah, snaking her arms around the girl’s waist as she pulled her possessively to her chest. “Which _means…_ ” Fang drawled dramatically after she had brought her lips to Serah’s ear, looking dead at Lightning as she finished, having put two and two together, “That your sister actually lost her virginity to _you._ ”

Serah’s expression immediately softened with emotion and Fang winked at Lightning from behind her like, ‘I might screw with you a bit, but I know exactly how to fix it.’ And, alright, Lightning did find herself appreciative of that, because if Fang hadn’t fixed it, Serah would have probably been upset with at her all day, which in turn would have made her upset with _Fang_ all day. Serah _really_ was not fond of Aryyn; her nickname for her when they were teenagers was, ‘that blue-haired slut’, and she wasn’t sporadic about using the term either.

“…You did?” Serah asked breathlessly, looking like the information touched her as she placed her hand over her chest and fisted the fabric of her shirt in her hand. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Lightning flushed a little and looked away, suddenly a little embarrassed.

“I don’t—I don’t know,” she stumbled, not really having a good answer for her. “I mean, if you want to get technical, I actually lost my virginity to a badly landed backflip when I was seventeen—”

“Oh, ouch,” Fang responded, her nose wrinkling in distaste and sympathy and, yeah, it wasn’t the most painless way to break her hymen, that was for sure. Still, in regards to actually being penetrated by someone for the first time; Serah, she… she was the one who held that honor, and Lightning was glad about that because she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. 

“But you were my first… you know,” Lightning finished, albeit a little awkwardly as she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she shrugged, trying to downplay the intensity of it. “Everything, really. The only thing that ever mattered. I guess I just didn’t—I didn’t say anything because I knew I wasn’t yours, and I didn’t want you to feel like you robbed me of something.”

Serah’s face crumpled a little then, no doubt reminded of the very thing Lightning didn’t want her to feel badly about, and the older woman sighed, “Like you are now. I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“No, Claire, it’s—” Serah tried, gently untangling herself from Fang’s arms as she moved over to the armchair, crouching down in front of her as she gently encouraged Lightning to bring her knees back down. Covering her sister’s hands with her own, she looked up at her and said, “I’m glad that you told me; or that… _Fang_ told me, I guess. Having that part of you… it means a lot to me.”

Serah smiled softly, gently squeezing her sister’s hands in her own. “Besides, you were my… well, you were my first time with a woman. I know it’s not entirely the same, but—”

“Serah,” Lightning interrupted softly, needing her to understand something as she tugged on the girl’s hand, encouraging her back into her lap. “Virginity is more of a concept than anything else; it can mean as much or as little to someone as they want. So if it means something to you, then it means something to me, okay? And I’m very glad I have that part of you as well.” She reached up to touch her face then, gently stroking her sister’s cheek as she gave her a gentle smile. 

Serah covered the hand with her own, inhaling an unsteady breath as she began to look rather emotional. “You were my first love…” she breathed, still trying to give Lightning something she could call her own, despite what her sister had just told her.

“I know,” Lightning responded softly, her thumb tracing the contour of the girl’s cheek. “I know…” Because if Serah needed to balance things out in her own mind to make herself feel better, then she would let her. Honestly, Lightning was just glad to have Serah at all; whether it was first or second or twelfth, because in the end, she was certain that she would be the last, and that was what truly mattered.

Serah gave her a soft smile in return, turning her head to kiss her sister’s palm. And Fang, realizing that maybe the two sisters needed a moment’s privacy, moved to grab the bags Serah had brought into the house while mentioning, “Okay, feel a bit like I’m intrudin’ now, so I think I’m just gonna go put this shit away—”

“No!” Serah suddenly exclaimed, whipping around to face her so fast that she actually lost her balance on Lightning’s lap, coming tumbling down into a heap on the floor before her sister could catch her.

“Serah!”

“I’m fine,” Serah assured her with a small groan, picking herself up off the floor. Fang looked like she was two seconds away from bursting out laughing at that little display, and Lightning shot her a look indicating that maybe she should be a little more sympathetic as she extended her hand, helping Serah back to her feet. “I just—what’s in there, it’s a surprise. You can’t see it yet.”

Fang’s brow rose before she instinctively tried to look in the bag, which then caused Serah to shout, “No!” again as she practically tackled her, ripping the bag out of her grasp. Fang held up her hands in surrender as Serah cradled the bag to her chest. “Stop it; you’re going to ruin it!”

“Sorry, it was instinct. I’m curious; what can I say?”

Serah just pointed at her in warning, her eyes narrowing before she moved a few steps away from her. “You guys can’t be in here for this anyway,” she told them, before glancing over at Lightning. “I need the whole living room, so go play in Fang’s room for a little while.”

“Play? What are we, eight?” Fang responded, just as Lightning asked, “The living room? I thought you were making breakfast.”

“I am. I will,” Serah assured her, sounding exasperated by all the questions. “I’m going to. It’s part of the whole thing, okay? And Fang, when I said ‘play’, I didn’t mean with dolls. I assumed you would be playing with each other… or Vanille. Or maybe just video games. I really don’t care how you occupy yourselves for the next hour, you just can’t be in _here_.” Her brow crinkling then, Serah looked around and asked, “Where is she anyway?”

“Vanille? Still asleep,” Fang answered, before a slow smirk crossed her face; she looked positively devious. “But not for long. Come on, Light, let’s go ‘play’; leave Serah to do her thing.” She winked at her, which caused Lightning to roll her eyes as she trudged after her.

“Fine, but I’d rather play the video games.” It was a lie, but she couldn’t resist defying Fang of her sex wish, considering she had apparently wanted it all morning.

“Well joke’s on you, innit; cause the console’s in the living room and we can’t be in there. Too bad.”

Oh, really?

“You do know it’s portable, right…?” Lightning tried, just wanting to push her buttons as she moved as though she were about to unplug it from the television. She didn’t get very far though, and her sentence turned into an undignified squeak as Fang came up behind her and wrapped her in a bear hug, trapping her arms to her side as she lifted her off her feet and started dragging her towards the bedroom.

“And so are you, apparently!”

“ _Fang—!_ ” Lightning protested, kicking out her feet as she tried to gather enough momentum to get herself out of the situation. Serah was practically doubled over with laughter at the display, but then Fang did let her go, at least with one hand, enough so that she could still hold her against her body while she clapped one hand over her mouth.

“Shh,” she breathed in her ear, smirking when the sound caused a shiver to roll down Lightning’s spine. Damnit, Fang always knew that that got to her; she was always like putty in her hands afterwards, it was embarrassing. “You ever wake a sleepin’ behemoth? Because that’s what Vanille’s gonna be if ya keep shouting like that. You gotta wake her _delicately;_ trust me. I have actual scars from wakin’ her up in the wrong way.”

Lightning’s brow rose, surprised by the information. Vanille was always so chipper in the morning; at least when she saw her. She couldn’t picture her being violent, but then again a few weeks ago she would have never pictured the girl being kinky either and, well, _look how wrong she was._ In the end, she didn’t know Vanille or Fang as well as she would like to, but she also knew there’d be plenty of time for that down the road.

Fang let her go then, and as Lightning turned around she placed a finger to her lips, encouraging her to be quiet as she opened the door. Vanille was spread out on the mattress, face down and snoring lightly in only a small tank top and some boy shorts, which had ridden halfway up her ass in the middle of the night. Lightning pursed her lips appreciatively as they snuck inside, the door clicking softly shut behind them. Fang pointed to the right side of the bed then, directing her as she moved around to the left, the two women approaching Vanille from both sides.

“ _Gentle,_ ” she warned her in a whisper as she crawled on the mattress, settling down on her side. Lightning mirrored her position on the opposite side of Vanille, who was still fast asleep and completely unaware that she was no longer alone. Lightning watched as Fang leaned down, gently placing a kiss on the girl’s exposed shoulder, causing Vanille to murmur appreciatively in her sleep. Her eyes caught Lightning’s then and she nodded at her to participate, and so her own mouth made its home along the Pulsian’s back, peppering kisses all along her spine. 

Vanille groaned in her sleep, shifting a bit to roll over onto her back. Fang and Lightning had to move quickly lest they wanted to be hit in the face by a flying elbow, but they succeeded and stilled themselves for a moment thereafter, trying to see if Vanille was awake. She wasn’t. 

Fang smirked. “Give me your hand,” she encouraged in a whisper, which made Lightning cock her eyebrow inquisitively. Fang just motioned for it impatiently however, giving Lightning no explanation what so ever, but she did it anyway, reaching out to tangle her fingers in the other woman’s; one on top of the other, with hers being on bottom.

Fang guided Lightning’s hand down the girl’s body, lightly dusking over the small sliver of exposed skin below her tank top, over her thighs, and then back up to her abdomen once more. And then, without any warning what so ever, Fang slipped their hands beneath the girl’s shorts, encouraging her to cup Vanille’s center. Lightning’s brow rose, as certainly jumping from zero to sixty wasn’t the ‘gentle’ way of waking her up, but Vanille just murmured in her sleep, her legs seemingly falling open of their own accord. Fang smirked, beginning to encourage Lightning’s hand to caress her softly, slowly.

“She wet?” Fang mouthed to her, the words barely audible. Lightning shook her head, and Fang scrunched up her nose before she took Lightning’s hand out of Vanille’s shorts, bringing the soldier’s fingers to her lips as she licked them one by one. She stared straight at Lightning while she did so, her eyes burning and purposeful, and the fair-haired woman felt a heat ignite in the pit of her stomach at the sight. 

And then her hand was back in Vanille’s shorts, her moistened fingers sliding easily over her clit as she watched the girl’s breathing hitch in the back of her throat. 

“Sometimes she already is,” Fang breathed to her, still being the one to guide Lightning’s hand as she watched Vanille’s face intently. “She must really be out, if she’s not even dreamin’.”

“She has sex dreams a lot?” Lightning asked quietly, finding that surprising. She rarely had them herself; maybe once every few months. But Fang just smirked and nodded, watching Vanille begin to gently stir as a soft moan escaped her lips.

“You think I’m insatiable?” she responded, chuckling softly as she encouraged Lightning to press a little harder against the girl’s clit. Vanille arched her back, stretching a little as she tangled her fingers in her own hair, exhaling another moan, this time louder, as she began to finally awaken. “I can’t even keep up with _her_ most days.”

“Fang…” Vanille half groaned, half whined as she struggled to open her eyes. Fang leaned down and kissed her then, gently prodding her to come into the waking world as she slipped her tongue into her mouth. Vanille moaned, pressing her hips into Lightning’s hand just as Fang let her go, withdrawing her own so Lightning could play down there on her own. She watched the two of them kiss, her breathing beginning to quicken a little herself as she hastened her fingers against Vanille’s flesh, causing the girl to break the kiss and breathe wantonly, “Fuck— _Fang…_ ”

Fang smirked. “Not me who’s touchin’ ya, love,” she told her, holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers so Vanille could see just as the girl finally began to open her eyes. Vanille looked confused for a moment before she turned her head, seeing Lightning on the opposite side of her. Lightning slowed the pace of her fingers for a moment so Vanille could begin to comprehend what was going on, and once she did she smiled sleepily and reached out to touch her face.

“Hi…”

“Morning,” Lightning breathed, a small smile of her own gracing her lips as Vanille looked at her adoringly. She leaned down to kiss her then, sliding her hand a little further downwards to dip into the pool that had accumulated around the girl’s opening. Briefly slipping inside her, she felt Vanille’s exhaled moan against her lips before she began spreading her arousal all over her clit, which was beginning to tighten in need as Vanille pushed her hips towards her hand. 

Vanille gasped softly against her lips, although whether that was from what she was doing to, or because Fang’s mouth had fastened itself around one of her nipples, Lightning wasn’t sure. Vanille broke the kiss then though, murmuring an appreciative, “Mmm…” before she lightly traced the soldier’s lips with her thumb and breathed, “Go down on me?” as her eyes connected with Lightning’s, gently begging her with her gaze. 

The woman in question nodded in response, sliding down the girl’s body as she took her clothing with her, freeing the bottom half of her body from their confines. As Vanille spread her legs, her hand tangled in Fang’s as she encouraged the other woman to get up a little and kneel next to her. Looping her thumbs around the band of her girlfriend’s boxers, she brought them halfway down her thighs before Fang seemed to get the picture and rid her of them herself.

Lightning chose that moment to bring her mouth to the apex of the girl’s thighs then, watching as Vanille momentarily forgot her task of undressing Fang as she exhaled a needy groan, her back arching off the bed as she tangled her fingers in her own hair. “Fang,” she breathed after a long moment, motioning towards her with her other hand with her eyes still firmly shut as she allowed herself to bask in the pleasure that Lightning was giving her. “Get—over here.”

“Your face?” Fang questioned, and Vanille murmured an affirmative just before Fang moved, swinging her leg over her girlfriend’s face, facing the length of her body so she could watch Lightning get her off. Vanille bit her bottom lip then as she reached up, spreading her girlfriend to her hungry gaze before she encouraged Fang into the perfect position so she could easily put her mouth on her.

Fang groaned, her eyes falling shut momentarily as Vanille’s tongue gently teased her clit in the very same fashion Lightning was doing to her. When she gently nipped at her, she watched Vanille do the same to Fang, and in a way it was like she was getting Fang off by proxy, and the thought of that turned Lightning on as she continued to test the theory that Vanille was purposely mimicking her as she alternated between the girl’s clit and sliding her tongue deep into her slick hole.

Vanille matched her with near exact precision, which was impressive considering she was also getting pleasured at the time, so she was struggling to match her between moans and gasps as her hips strained further towards Lightning’s face. It seemed to take Fang a minute to realize what she was doing, but when she began watching Lightning intently she seemed to understand, and she groaned in approval as she told them both, “Fuck, that’s hot…”

Lightning allowed her gaze to lock onto the woman astride Vanille, keeping eye contact as she slowly ran her tongue up the length of her slit. Fang’s eyes nearly turned black with lust at the very blatant show she was being given, and Lightning smirked at the effect she had on her as she replaced her tongue with her thumb for a moment, rubbing gentle circles against Vanille’s clit as she told Fang, “Take off your bra.”

Fang smirked, before her expression masked into one of pleasure; Vanille stimulating her in the same way that Lightning was. She groaned softly at the feeling, the sound mixing with Vanille’s labored breaths and tiny whimpers, before Fang got ahold of herself again, and asked in an amused tone, “Why, you like my tits or somethin’?”

Lightning rolled her eyes; she wasn’t about to dignify that with an answer. “Just do it.”

But Fang, being Fang, wanted to make her say it. “Nah, if you want—”

“Fang, just take off your fucking—your fucking _bra_ so her mouth can go back to doing better things than arguing with you,” Vanille demanded breathlessly, and as Lightning’s brow rose, it actually got even higher at Fang’s immediate response to the demand.

“…Yes, Ma’am.”

Fang pulled off her sports bra then, throwing it across the room before she cupped her own breasts in her hands, pinching her nipples as she looked dead at Lightning and groaned in need. And, okay, yes… yes, this was exactly what she wanted. Lightning bit down on her bottom lip appreciatively before returning to pleasuring Vanille, sliding a few fingers inside of her as she continued her tongue’s assault on her clit.

Eventually, the feelings Lightning was invoking in her caused Vanille’s mirroring process to falter, until she was panting and gasping and writhing beneath the soldier’s mouth, her fingers digging into Fang’s thighs as she abandoned her task of pleasuring her, too caught up in her own ecstasy. It didn’t take her long after that though, Vanille’s back suddenly arching as her hand slammed against the headboard above her, toes curling as Lightning’s name fell from her lips.

Lightning withdrew from her shortly afterwards, her cheeks flushed and her breasts heaving in arousal as she watched Fang, ever the impatient, get herself off with her fingers over Vanille’s face. But it didn’t take long for Vanille to come back to reality, and she irritably slapped Fang’s hand away from her working space as she demanded, “Stop it.” She then looked at Lightning and told her, “And you stop it with the clothes.”

Lightning’s brow rose a little as Fang snickered, but she discarded the fabric that separated her body from their gaze, moving up Vanille’s body once the girl crooked a finger in her direction. Vanille had Lightning press herself almost completely against Fang, both women having their knees planted on either side of her face before she smiled and said, “There. That’s better…”

Her hands slid up Lightning’s thighs, grasping her ass as her mouth fastened itself around Fang’s sex again. Fang groaned, her own hands beginning to map Lightning’s body before pulling her in for a kiss, slipping her tongue into her mouth and swallowing the moan that followed once Vanille’s fingers found their way between her thighs. As the girl slipped inside of her, Fang’s hand fell between their bodies to press against Lightning’s clit, smirking wickedly against her lips as the other woman nearly choked on her own breath.

Lightning roughly pinched Fang’s nipples in retaliation, and Fang elicited a short yelp that was so utterly undignified that Lightning had to laugh. That caused Fang to growl against her lips, and she bit the bottom one just sharp enough to sting for a moment before she sucked it entirely into her mouth, snapping it back into place before she gave the same treatment to the solder’s other one. Lightning was panting hard, Vanille having begun corkscrewing her fingers insider of her in a way that was making her head spin. She grasped onto Fang as she pressed their foreheads together, tangling her fingers in her hair as she heard Fang swear under her breath at whatever amazing thing Vanille was currently doing with her mouth. And it was there that they stayed, panting and groaning and grinding, until they finally came in succession; Lightning first, and then Fang shortly afterwards. 

“Mmm…” Vanille murmured appreciatively after the two women atop her basically collapsed on the bed beside her. “That was a nice way to wake up.” Rolling over on her side to face the two of them, Vanille’s brow creased as she propped her head up in her hand asked, “Where’s Serah? She didn’t want to join?” 

She sounded a little worried about that, no doubt thinking that maybe something happened between them, or that the girl suddenly didn’t feel comfortable being with Vanille, but Fang eased her fears with, “She ordered us in here while she puts together some big surprise in the living room. Don’t worry; if she wasn’t doin’ that I’m sure she’d be right in the middle of this.”

Vanille popped up though at the mention of a surprise, her face washing over with excitement. “A surprise?” she asked, her voice suddenly at least four octaves higher than normal. Lightning winced a bit at the sound; it was about a step below something that only dogs could hear. “What is it?!”

“I don’t know; hence _‘surprise’_ — Vanille, no!” Fang shouted halfway through, grasping onto her girlfriend’s wrist and pulling her back on to the bed before she could rush straight out the door. Apparently, ‘patience’ wasn’t exactly in Vanille’s vocabulary. “Serah’s gonna be so pissed if you ruin it, so just bloody relax for a minute, yeah? Damn.”

Vanille pouted, but eventually she found something else to do while they waited. Unfortunately, that something was Lightning’s hair.

The girl was seated behind her, all of them fully clothed now, happily humming to herself as she began to French braid Lightning’s hair into two pigtails. “I’m going to look ridiculous,” she muttered, and yet still allowed her to continue for whatever asinine reason; probably just because it seemed to make the girl happy.

“You’re going to look adorable!” Vanille responded, voice chipper as Fang watched from the other side of the bed, who was looking as though she were trying to not snicker at the expression on Lightning’s face.

“Tell her I’m going to look ridiculous,” Lightning tried, hoping to at least get Fang on her side. In the end though, Fang seemed to always prefer to antagonize her over anything else. Lightning was starting to wonder if a part of her got off on making her utterly grumpy.

“You’re going to look _adorable_ ,” she cooed, her voice sarcastically sweet as she mock fluttered her eyelashes at her, causing Lightning to scowl. “Like a little show-puppy.”

“…I hate you.”

Fang snickered then, but it was interrupted by a hesitant knock on the bedroom door. “Are you guys—can you come out here now please?” came Serah’s voice, sounding so very unsure of herself all of a sudden. Lightning’s brow knit just as Vanille abandoned her task of braiding her hair, thankfully letting it all fall out. Lightning ran her fingers through her hair to fix it as she picked herself up off the bed, the two women following behind her.

But just as she tried to open the door, suddenly a force was pushed against it, keeping it closed as Serah exclaimed, “Wait!”

“Didn’t you just say we could come out?” Lightning asked through the door, confused by the mixed messages.

“Yeah, you can—I mean, you will be able to in a minute. But first I—I want to say something,” Serah said, and after a moment’s pause where all three women waited for an explanation, she continued, “Okay, so… you can’t laugh; or make fun of me, okay? Do you all promise?”

“Why would we laugh at you?” Fang questioned before Lightning could. Vanille had slipped behind her, holding her waist as she glanced over at Lightning, apparently just as confused as she and Fang were.

“Because it’s—it’s a little stupid.”

“Serah, I’m sure we’re going to love whatever you did,” Lightning assured her, hating that Serah felt so self-conscious all of a sudden. She rarely acted like she was, so whatever she had waiting for them behind that door… it clearly meant something to her, and she was afraid that it might not mean the same to them. 

“You have to promise,” Serah insisted, and so all three of them simultaneously said ‘we promise’ before she finally heard her sister take a hesitant breath and step away from the door. “Okay,” she called to them. “You can—you can come out now.”

Lightning was the one who pushed through the door first, and her breath seemed to leave her at the scene that was presented to them. The living room was delved mostly in darkness, save a few blacklights that Serah had set up around the perimeter of the room, illuminating a plethora of stars that she had stuck to the walls. The coffee table now adorned a long candle in its center, the brief flickers of light being cast over what looked like four plates of pancakes, that had also been cut out into a variety of different shapes. Clearly Serah had put a lot of effort into this, but Lightning didn’t really understand the theme until it hit Vanille.

And it hit Vanille _hard._

She made a little sound in the back of her throat as she covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes suddenly beginning to brim over with tears. And it was then that Lightning remembered what Vanille had said to them yesterday when she was high off of her many orgasms; about how she wanted to take them to the stars… all four of them, together forever. Apparently, Serah found it to be much easier to bring the stars to _her,_ which was now causing Vanille to look like she was three seconds into dissolving into hysterical sobs at the gesture. 

But instead she just practically beelined to her, grasping Serah’s face in her hands as she kissed her hard on the mouth, a singular tear running down the contour of her cheek as she expressed something she didn’t seem to have the words for. Regardless, she still tried as she breathed though her kisses, “It’s not stupid.” Another kiss, forcing Serah to back up a few steps from the force of it. “It’s not stupid at all…!”

That seemed to exercise some of Serah’s fears then, and she noticeably relaxed in Vanille’s hold as she threw her arms around her neck and kissed her deeply, apparently very relieved that this had been taken well. Lightning felt hands on her then, and as they slipped around her waist to hold her from behind, Lightning looked up at her and noted the soft smile that tugged on Fang’s lips. She returned it in kind once Fang’s eyes met hers, and as they both looked back at what used to be their respective lovers, it hit Lightning how much happier this new arrangement had made her sister.

And that, in turn, made Lightning feel as though she had finally managed to do right by her, which was all she ever really wanted. Maybe it was strange, to find such happiness in a situation such as this, but they didn’t owe the world an explanation. In the end, this was their life, and they were going to live it how they wanted to; and right now, it seemed as though Serah had chosen to live it with them, _all_ of them, whether it be in the stars or otherwise, and as she watched them Lightning agreed wholeheartedly with that decision as she felt Fang lightly press her lips against the skin of her shoulder and smile. 

Once Serah and Vanille broke away from one another, the Pulsian wrapped her arms around Serah’s waist as they looked back at her sister and Fang. “You guys… you guys really like it?” she asked, sounding both embarrassed and happy by it.

“It’s beautiful, sweetness,” Fang told her, just before Lightning broke away from her to approach her sister, clasping her hands in her own and holding them tightly.

“It’s perfect,” she told her softly, and Serah beamed.

“Oh!” Vanille exclaimed suddenly. “I have an idea!” She let go of Serah then and exited the living room, only to come back with a pack of highlighters. She tossed one to each of them in turn, and Lightning wasn’t exactly sure what she was supposed to do with it until Vanille popped the cap on hers, practically attacking Fang with it.

The lines she made against the huntress’s skin glowed beneath the black light, and Fang laughed good-naturedly as she let her draw patterns all over her body. Serah looked at her sister then, this evil glint in her eye as she began to approach her. “No, Serah, not my face!” Lightning protested once she realized exactly where Serah was planning to draw on her, but Serah just cackled and tried to get to her regardless.

Lightning dodged it easily, which made Serah pout and call out, “Guys, help; I need her to hold still!” Which, of course, the two women did immediately, because they were all traitors.

Lightning pointed at them both in warning as she demanded, “Don’t you dare,” but Vanille looked like a challenge might be more fun and Fang, as per usual, just enjoyed riling her up, so they were both on her in seconds.

Admittedly, Lightning didn’t try to get out of their hold very hard because, well, she didn’t want to hurt either of them over a _highlighter,_ but they were laughing as Lightning fumed, getting whiskers drawn on her face by her sister. “Aww, you look so cute!” she cooed when she had finished, even coloring in her nose for good measure, and as Fang burst out laughing at Lightning the grumpy cat, the soldier shot her a death glare.

“You all are getting dicks drawn on your foreheads.”

“Ew, no!” Vanille squealed, letting go of her immediately before taking off running. So, of course, Lightning chose to pick on her first. She didn’t get very far though as Fang chose to protect her, so in retaliation she tried to draw the dick on _her_ , but it just ended up being a mess of lines on the woman’s face as she tried to get away from the highlighter; which was about the same as how her _own_ body looked now, Fang having retaliated by trying to mark anywhere she could reach.

“Gonna fuckin’ stamp my name on your arse, Light, you keep this up,” she warned through laughter, clearly enjoying herself.

“You just try.”

Fang tried to barrel at her then, of course taking that as a challenge, but Lightning was ready for her and used the woman’s own body weight and momentum against her, ducking down so she’d collide with her side before lifting her up, flipping Fang over into a heap on the floor. “Not in the house!” Serah exclaimed, watching her sister and Fang take this to an entirely new level, but it didn’t matter anyway because Lightning sat astride the woman’s back then, pinning her on the floor.

“Light, don’t you fuckin’ dare—”

“What was that about wanting to write something on my ass? Oh yeah…” Lightning drawled as she pulled down the woman’s boxers, exposing the curvature of her behind. Serah was giggling at the display now, and Vanille looked excited as she approached the two women.

“Ohh, we should _all_ sign it with our names!” 

“Vanille, you—you little traitor,” Fang exclaimed, still trying (futilely, Lightning might add) to get out from underneath the other woman’s body. The most she could do was squirm helplessly, and it was a rather hilarious sight to see as Lightning snickered at her failure. “I helped _you!_ ”

“Yeah, but that’s because dicks are gross; this is fun!” she responded cheerfully as she knelt down next to the two women on the floor, biting down lightly on her tongue as she began to write her name in Pulsian, while Lightning and Serah got to work writing their own. Apparently Fang was ticklish on her ass though, so the squirming became more predominant as she laughed and begged them to stop.

Once they were done though, Lightning’s eyes snapped towards her sister as she told her, “Your turn,” before she practically tackled her to the ground as well, causing Serah to exhale a loud squeal just as Fang told Vanille from behind them, “You’re gonna pay for betrayin’ me like that!” And so another thump was heard, followed by the laughter of the younger of the two, and Lightning looked down at her sister as she pinned her arms above her head.

Serah looked as though she were trying to catch her breath, but she was smiling as she allowed Lightning to capture her. “You’re beautiful, you know?” Lightning told her sister softly, taking a short break from their little game for a moment as it struck her how radiant she was when she smiled. It was like she glowed.

Serah gently bit down on her bottom lip, her lashes fluttering as she caught her sister’s gaze. “You are too,” she whispered, and Lightning smiled.

“You’re happy?” she asked, because while it seemed that way, she just wanted to make sure; it was just habit, to constantly make sure that her sister was sated. But Serah nodded, her smile growing.

“Very,” she breathed. Her eyes briefly flickered down to her lips, before catching her gaze once more. “…Are you?”

Lightning turned her head then, looking at the two other women who were rolling around and laughing as they marked one another with their highlighter. And no, perhaps it didn’t make sense; perhaps it never would, but that didn’t change the fact that Lightning had felt more content than she had in a long time. Once, she and Serah had lost their family, but it seemed that they had found a new one and now that they had, Lightning didn’t ever want to let it go. 

“Yeah,” she whispered, a small smile etching across her face as Fang looked back at her and winked, causing Vanille to divert her attention for a moment and grin at the two women who were watching them, waving them over to join in. “Yeah… I really am.”

**THE END**


End file.
